by A. J. Downey
I was floored and my heart melted at just how pure all of their smiles were and despite the rough appearances, the decidedly ‘outsider’ vibe they all threw off in every direction, I realized they also radiated kindness, the like I’d never seen from a group of “citizens” before.
At least, not in my own personal experience.
“Hey, Orchid!” Hope called from the porch as the door to the garage trundled down and I stepped into the driveway.
“Hey, Hope,” I called softly.
“Everything alright?” Cutter asked Stoker.
“Just peachy, Captain!”
“Ah-huh, looks that way,” he said, eyeing me.
I plastered on a smile and said, “I’ll be right down, just let me go change really quick. I’m sorry I’m holding you all up.”
“No hold-up, honey,” Atlas called. “As road captain, it’s my responsibility to keep us all on track and on time, and we got plenty of it. You go on and get cleaned up, wash your face, we got your landlady to keep us company!”
“Oh, my!” Mrs. Sedgwick cried and laughed with a blush. I smiled and Stoker put a hand to my lower back and guided me from behind up my steps to where I could unlock my apartment door.
Faith and Charity bounded up the steps after us and Faith called, “I want to see your place!”
I smiled and said, “Come on in.”
My bags were packed and by the door, my clothes for the ride laid out on the bed. I just needed to change, braid my hair, and we would be good to go. I was stopped by Stoker’s hand catching mine.
“Give us a minute,” he told Faith and Charity, and shut my front door in their faces. I felt my jaw drop and stared at him agape.
“Stoker! How rude!”
“Hush, they understand,” he said reeling me in. “I need to talk to you about something.”
“What? Did I do something wrong?” I asked. I was forever worried I was screwing something up in a big way. The lives the club led, the rules they followed, they were so different from anything I was used to and I was constantly afraid of misstepping, of doing something offensive, or of angering someone. Even unintentionally, it would be devastating for me.
“No, Orchid. Never. I just need to ask you something important.”
“What?” I asked, half afraid he was about to ask me to marry him or something. I mean, we were good together, and I was so very afraid that I loved him too, and what that could mean for him… I was already afraid for him loving me and what kind of trouble that could cause, but this was Stoker, and I had no real reason to worry for him. He was so confident and brave compared to me, so self-assured.
“I was wondering,” he said, “if…” He reached behind him, under his jacket and vest and brought out a folded package, wrapped in an orange bandanna, the four corners tied together in a short knot, the package flat and square and holding something leather.
“If?” I asked, cocking my head.
“If you would wear my rag, make it official and be my ol’ lady.”
I stared up at him and blinked, stunned.
“You’re serious,” I whispered.
“Yeah, babe. Already told you, I love you. I want to keep you safe, and part of that is declaring you mine before any other dude either in my club or one up north gets the wrong idea.”
“Wrong idea, how?” I asked, mouth suddenly dry.
He explained it, how women wearing the ‘Property of’ vests were considered off-limits to other men’s advances. I listened carefully as he explained the biker’s definition of ‘property’ and it was quite literally everything I had always ever wanted and feared I would never have.
“Yes,” I whispered, a sharp, healing ache throbbing once in the center of my chest with the word. “I’ll wear it, if you’re sure. If you’re really sure you want me in that way.”
“Little Orchid, I want you in that way for always, but I get that always is a really long time and a scary prospect, so I want to give you my rag and tell you for sure I want you that way for now, until you decide you don’t want me, okay?”
The mere thought of my ever not wanting him sent a lance of agony through me. I took the package from his hands and put my arms around him and we held each other like that in the air-conditioned hush of my apartment while the men of his club laughed below and Faith and Charity waited outside my door. I felt guilty about that, but I indulged myself for just a touch longer than I felt was polite because this moment held weight. This moment was so very important to me, for us, and I didn’t want to rush a thing.
“We should let the girls in,” he murmured finally, and I nodded against his chest and took a reluctant step back.
He smiled at me and opened the door, and the first question out of Faith’s mouth was, “Did she say yes?”
“Yes, I said yes!” I said, and sniffed and with a soggy little laugh said, “I need to call Linny, but later.”
“Come on,” Charity urged. “Let’s fix your makeup and get you dressed to ride.”
“Oh my God,” I said horrified. “My makeup!” I’d forgotten all about it and I must have looked like a real horror show scream queen!
“You go do that, and I’ve got these,” Stoker said, hefting my single gym bag and my purse. He’d said to pack light, and I’d done my best. I was thankful he seemed satisfied and didn’t ask me to change anything.
I went into the bathroom and scrubbed my face while Charity and Faith stuck around and commented here and there on how much they loved this or that little knick-knack on one of my shelves.
I washed my face completely, changed clothes, and redid my makeup from scratch out of the meager half-dead supply that I hadn’t bothered to pack.
Faith braided my hair without asking, which I found to be nice, while I applied my face and Charity held out the bandana that had come wrapped around my new leather vest. She’d folded it into a wide swath, and Faith fixed it for me, around my head.
“When you start to sweat in all that leather, you’ll be glad for it under the helmet. Keeps your makeup from running and the salt out of your eyes,” Charity explained.
I stepped out into the rest of my neat little apartment and Stoker held out the vest, already over my jacket, for me. I smiled at the ‘Property of Stoker’ emblazoned across the back and he turned it around for me to shrug into. The name patch on the front read ‘Orchid.’
I liked that he called me that. I liked that everyone seemed to naturally fall into calling me that. I loved it even more how they all cheered for me when I stepped out onto the little landing and wrap-around porch, and I felt like a badass Cinderella as I went down the stairs.
It was the first time I ever felt like I fit.
22
Stoker…
The ride was the longest she’d ever taken with me, at pretty much a straight shot. We’d been taking long weekend rides, but no matter where we went, it wasn’t the haul from south Florida to the lakeside lodge the Sacred Hearts’ guys owned. By the time we’d ridden halfway, and stopped for snacks and something to drink, I could tell she was seriously starting to feel it.
At the lodge, we pulled down the steep drive to a line of bikes already parked and waiting for our arrival. We lined up and backed in, filling the little parking lot and drive loop out front the rest of the way out.
My little orchid got off the back of my bike and immediately put her hands to the top of her ass and pressed, arching back to alleviate her lower backache.
I heeled down the kickstand and shut off the motor, and asked her, “Doing alright?”
“Yeah! I think I’ll feel better once I’ve gotten a shower, wash the grime off – you know?”
“Absolutely, I do, and I’m right there with you – that is, if we got a room. If not, we’re camping.”
“You got a room, I set it up ahead of time for you,” Cutter called over. “Any man with a woman has a room unless she was dead set on campin’. We’re getting too fuckin’ old for tents and ground-sleepin’.”
“Sp
eak for yourself,” Charity said as she walked by, with a wink. Galahad laughed and followed along behind her, their tent in his hands.
“Watch it, Blossom!” Hope warned her, and I had to chuckle. They had their Power Puff Girl’s names embroidered on their rags, and it suited them.
We greeted the guys from the other club and chatted amicably while we waited for the front desk to sort us out with keys for our respective rooms. Some of the SHMC women were talking to Orchid and Faith off to one side, and it felt good that despite the fact she was thoroughly a citizen with a citizen’s upbringing, she was taking pretty well and pretty quickly to our way of life.
It didn’t hurt that she was unerringly polite. It just was who she was. She only dared to be sassy when it was just me and her alone and when she did bust out the sass, it was pretty spectacular. She could be funny as hell, when she wasn’t so self-conscious and paranoid. It was something that, the more miles we’d poured on between us and Florida, she’d shed like a cloak.
“Hey, man! What’s up? Long time, no see!”
Nox came striding over with his twin in tow and held out a hand. I clasped it and we tapped shoulders.
“Hey, Orchid. C’mere a minute!” I called.
“No shit?” Rush asked, when she headed our way.
“No shit,” I affirmed with a reckless grin.
“What’s up?” she asked lightly, tucking herself into my side.
“Want you to meet the twins. This is Nox and this is Rush, they’re Sacred Hearts.”
“Hi,” she murmured timidly, and I could understand why. While Nox was tall and had a wiry build, Rush always looked like he was about to fuck something up. He was just an all-around built dude.
“Nice to meet you…” Rush trailed off so she could supply her name if she wanted to.
“Oh, it’s Serenity,” she said, taking his offered hand and shaking it lightly. “But everyone calls me Orchid now.”
“Nice,” Nox said. “How’d you come by that one?”
She smiled and said, “I raise them. I have a little greenhouse at home. Took a class in high school, horticulture, and fell in love with it. I’ve been growing them ever since.”
She’d told me about her Horticulture teacher in the school they’d transferred her to. How he would let her hide in the greenhouses at lunch, let her disappear from the rest of the student’s cruelty. Let her be herself, and taught her extra about the plants and about orchids specifically. He had been a spot of kindness, a light in the otherwise dark of her teenage existence.
I wanted to find the man and buy him several rounds of beers.
“Nice, mine was wood shop,” Rush said and she smiled. “Build my own furniture and other things as a side gig now.”
“That’s awesome.” Serenity smiled big.
“You guys got your room yet?” Nox asked.
I shook my head. “Not yet.”
“You do,” Charity said, sidling up and handing over a key. She winked at me and wandered back off. I hadn’t even seen her come in from outside. It was supposed to be officers-only put up in the lodge, and I realized that she and Galahad had probably given up their room so we could take it. There were way more Sacred Hearts here than just their mother chapter. Every chapter from across the states were here, and I’d even heard they might be going international.
“Cool, thanks, Blossom!” I called out.
“Don’t mention it!” she called back over her shoulder with a little wave.
“Staying inside, huh?” Rush asked.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
“Let’s go grab your shit,” Nox said, and we did just that, packing in mine and Serenity’s bags, giving her a chance to grab a quick shower and a change into some cooler clothes.
“Fancy a swim in the lake?” I asked, and she looked at me dubiously. I laughed and said, “No gators up here, Little Orchid.”
“Leeches?” she asked.
“If there are, we’ve never encountered ‘em,” Rush said.
“Before we do, let’s check and see if Maren and Bailey want in.” Nox gestured for us to follow.
We went out of our room, didn’t bother to lock the door, and left the key inside. We didn’t have to worry about our shit being stolen with this crowd. No one wanted to be out bad for anything we’d brought with us.
We went out to the lake, found Nox and Rush’s two women, and said hello to Trigger, Reaver, and Dragon along the way.
“Check it out, we got a blob this year!” Reaver crowed and sure enough, they were getting the giant inflatable going across the lake to where there was a high enough cliff face to jump off onto it from.
“Nice!” I called back.
We settled in on some giant, round inflatable air mattresses that were big enough to fit four or more people, with a well in the center for ice and cans of beer. The edges held built-in pillows to lean back into. I helped my little orchid down into one and she cuddled up against me as Rush and Nox pushed us out into the lake.
Maren cuddled up with Nox like Serenity cuddled into my side, and Rush and Bailey took up the other two slots as we bobbed out into the open water.
“Let the relaxation and good times commence,” Rush declared, as 70s rock blared out over the lake from the back deck of the lodge.
“Fucking fantastic,” I declared.
“So, how long you two been official?” Maren asked.
I looked down at my little orchid with her big, black, bug-eyed sunglasses covering most of her face and she answered, “Um, well, we met a few months ago at a show.”
“What kind of show?” Bailey asked.
“My band was playing a ‘Battle of the Bands’ as a lead up to the main act,” I said.
“My best friend Linny dragged me out. It ended up being a total shit show, except I got to meet Stoker.”
“Nice, but when did you become official official?” Maren pressed.
“As in, my Ol’ Lady, is what she’s asking, babe.”
“Oh!”
“Right before we hit the road to come out here is when I asked,” I told her.
The twins exchanged a look and a silence fell over the raft. Orchid’s hand tightened around mine.
“You know what happened ain’t ever going to happen again, not with the likes of us, right?” Rush asked.
“Rush…” Nox cautioned his brother.
“No, it’s all good, Nox,” I said easily. “No disrespect meant or even implied, boys. I swear on my mamma’s grave. This was what was right, what I wanted more than anything.” I clutched Serenity into my side and dropped a kiss against the top of her hair. She sighed out happily, tension draining from her lithe small frame, and the boys visibly relaxed.
“Okay,” Bailey said when the tension had dissipated almost completely, “so what made your first meet such a shit show, then?”
“Oh, God!” Serenity covered her face with her hand. “It was awful!”
I let her tell the story, because yeah, it had been awful, but it’d put her in my path. It’d put me right where I needed to be to score a chance with someone as selfless and beautiful as she was and as a result, I wouldn’t change that night for anything except to maybe take away her pain… like she’d needed any more of it.
We drifted out into the lake, enjoyed some cold beers and soda from the raft, and chatted with Hossler, Lightning, and Reaver’s boy when they paddle boarded by.
When the dinner bell rang, the three of us guys paddled us back to shore with the paddles strapped to the sides of the raft, tying up at the smaller dock over by the littler, fairytale-looking stone cottage on the property.
Serenity paused outside of it while the other two couples forged ahead and said, “It really needs a trellis and a climbing clematis vine there.” She pointed to a too-empty expanse of cobblestone wall and I nodded.
“That’d be real pretty,” I agreed. She sighed and I cocked my head. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m just not used to people-ing so hard, you know?”
“Let’s get some food and if you want, we can always head back to the room, just you and me, anytime.”
“I don’t want to be rude‒” she said, and I stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. I turned her to face me and gripped her shoulders lightly.
“Hey, look at me,” I murmured. She looked up and chewed her bottom lip nervously.
“You want to go back to the room at any time tonight, you just squeeze my hand three times like this.” I gave her shoulder three rapid but firm squeezes. “I’ll make all the excuses. You just let me know. It’s all good, baby. I want you to enjoy yourself, and part of that is not letting you get too overwhelmed.”
She smiled and nodded. “Thank you. That honestly makes me feel loads better.”
I figured it would. One of Marlin’s pro-tips when it came to dealing with trauma – always have an out. He’d told me it was important for Faith to never feel trapped. After some of the things I’d gotten from Serenity, I realized that even though her situation was vastly different from Faith’s, that it translated the same.
She couldn’t handle feeling trapped or ridiculed, feeling put on the spot was bad juju and I couldn’t blame her one bit. So… ‘Always have an out.’
“I didn’t think I’d gotten this bad,” she confessed, her arm around my waist, mine around her shoulders as our flip-flops and sandals scuffed along the dirt path to the steps leading to the upper back deck of the lodge, where the food was.
“You’re fine, I promise. I know it probably feels like you aren't, but it’s not as bad as you think or as it probably feels – but how you feel is perfectly valid, given your circumstances.”
She stared up at me and asked, “How are you so patient?”
I laughed a little. “I don’t know. Ask anyone, it’s never really been my strong suit. At least, not when it comes to the little shit that don’t matter. You? You matter,” I said, and bent to kiss her. She kissed me back, her lips curving into a smile as she melted into me and I loved that I could have that kind of effect on her.
We ate at a giant picnic table, the SHMC crew knocking it out of the park with some down-home country barbecue. Our table was a healthy mix of Kraken and Sacred Hearts with me and my woman and the VP, Dray, and his ol’ lady taking up one end of the table.
