by A. J. Downey
“You’ll punch them in the face?” I asked. “Just like that?”
“We’re bikers,” he said with a blasé shrug. “We love a good brawl.”
I laughed, genuinely this time, and said, “Surely not before their first cup of coffee?”
“You’d be surprised,” he said with a wink. “Besides, it’s before noon. Ain’t a lot of ‘em even going to be up; most of ‘em are still drunk, and the rest are going to be too hungover to give a fuck.”
I laughed again, for real, and let him stand and take my hand. He opened the door to our room and stepped out into the hall looking first this way, then that.
“All clear,” he said, and I smiled and followed suit.
When we emerged on the lower patio where the picnic tables were, there were very few people up and having breakfast. A lot of them I didn’t recognize from our club or from the Sacred Hearts’ mother chapter. There were a few exceptions, though.
Radar, from our club, stepped onto the patio from the stairs leading up to the big, back deck where the food was set up. He gave me a nod and raised his eyebrows in a silent query of ‘Are you alright?’ I managed a weak smile and gave a nod of my head, and his tense posture eased and he moved toward an empty table.
“Come on, Orchid. Let’s get some food.”
“’K,” I answered lightly and we went for the stairs.
It was a gentle re-introduction, thanks to the hard partying and it was nice that everyone seemed genuinely interested in how I was doing at first, before dropping it altogether. No one pried, no one made fun of me, or made it into a big thing.
The doctor came over, checked me out and declared me all good.
The rest of the day was spent on the lake. We took advantage of the big four-man yellow relaxation raft and even spent time swimming, and jumping on, and being launched off, the blob they had set up.
By evening, I was worn out, but was feeling mostly back to my old self, grateful that Stoker stuck with me and didn’t act or say anything about be being too clingy.
We were sitting around one of the fires and cuddling when Reaver dropped in beside me over the big rock we were using as a backrest, scaring the shit out of me. I had both hands over my heart while a few people had a good laugh over it, while a few more wore pinched expressions of worry.
“You scared the crap out of me!” I cried, breathless.
“I heard that about you,” he said with a grin, and he looked like a kid at Christmas – if the kids were clearly drunk and possibly high off of marijuana. He smelled faintly of both the low-key drug, a faint earthy scent, and alcohol, a sweeter, almost fruity overtone.
“People been bothering you?” he asked.
“Not here,” I answered honestly with a slight smile. I was leaning into Stoker who had his arm around me, and I felt like I was facing down a dangerous predator, looking at Reaver. Like he was a tiger in our midst and nobody, bizarrely, seemed any kind of concerned over it.
It was an incredibly strange feeling, but at the same time, though I was thoroughly intimidated, I still knew I was safe and Reaver, despite his glee at having scared the shit out of me, still seemed to want to make me his new best friend. He had a hell of an odd way of showing it, though.
“Now, this here, is my very favorite knife,” he said to me, flicking open a switchblade that he’d made materialize from seemingly nowhere.
I jumped at the little mechanical snick it made as the blade leapt free, and he grinned like the maniac I was quickly figuring out he was. A bunch of the people around the fire from his own club chuckled and I leaned further back into Stoker, who laughed slightly and said, “Easy bud, I know you get off on fear, but my lady’s had a lifetime of it.”
“Exactly!” Reaver crowed. “Which is why I am now gifting you my very favorite knife, Little Orchid.” He closed it up, turned it on his palm so the hilt was pointed at me and bowed his head gallantly.
“I wouldn’t even begin to know what to do with it,” I said.
“Somebody bothers you, you pull it,” Reaver said, like he was confused he even had to explain how this works.
“I’m a lover, not a fighter, so I wouldn’t know what to really do after that.” I laughed a little as I said it. The whole exchange was strange and completely laughable, really.
“Pro-tip,” he said. “They get close?” He leaned in, and in a conspiratorial tone, whispered loudly, “You stick ‘em with the pointy end.”
The people around the campfire lost it and he grabbed my free hand and turned up my palm, slapping the folded blade into it with one hand and curling my fingers around it with the other. He leapt up, scrambled up and over the rock and disappeared into the dark with everyone wiping tears from the corners of their eyes, they were laughing so hard.
“I don’t know just how many ‘very favorite knives’ Reaver has given out to women over the years,” Dray said from across the flames.
“It pretty much means he likes you,” Irish, Dray’s woman, chimed in.
“I guess it’s better than marking territory like pissin’ on a tree,” Doc said, and more howls of laughter ensued. I looked up at Stoker who was smiling down at me. He gave me a wink and I felt my shoulders lose some of the tension they were holding.
“You have some strange friends,” I whispered.
He chuckled lightly and kissed my temple, murmuring in my ear “In case you hadn’t realized it yet, Orchid, they’re your friends too, now.”
Oh.
26
Stoker…
The ride back on Monday was glorious. The sun was shining, it wasn’t too hot, and when we got close to Serenity’s exit, Cutter gave me the hand signals that I was good to break off from the pack and take her home. I saluted my captain and my crew and gave the handlebars a light twist to take the off-ramp into Ft. Lauderdale, and Serenity to her little studio apartment.
I didn’t like it one bit, either. I wanted so fiercely to take her home, my home, away from the fucksticks in this area, to turf that was more familiar to me and a sort of fresh start for her.
Wasn’t going to happen, though. At least, not today.
I pulled up to the curb out front of her landlady’s house, Mrs. Sedgwick waving at us from the front porch where she always seemed to be, watching the world go by.
“Hi Mrs. Sedgwick!” Serenity called, waving. She went over to talk to the old woman while I worked on getting her bag out of my saddle bag. She exchanged a few pleasantries.
I waved from where I stood and caught Mrs. Sedgwick telling my little orchid, “He’s such a nice young man.”
Serenity came back my way and we went upstairs, where she sighed and left all of the crazy at her door. It was something else, watching her cross the threshold, and I realized that my girl’s home truly was her sanctuary and that she’d peopled pretty hard over the long weekend and was glad to be home.
“Should I take off and leave you to it?” I asked, and she turned and smiled at me, hanging my rag on her coat rack and shrugging out of her cheap leather jacket, off some bargain rack somewhere.
I needed to get her better protective gear if she was going to keep riding with me. Half-assing it wouldn’t do.
“I wish you didn’t have to,” she told me. “But I know you have work tomorrow. Meanwhile, I get to find out if I even have a job.” She rolled her eyes and the unhappiness was back.
“You trust me?” I asked, going to her, pulling her to me by the belt loops of her jeans. She instinctively leaned away but didn’t resist coming to me too much. I think it was just ingrained habit from her background.
“Of course, I do,” she said, frowning at me like I’d said something stupid, but I had a crazy notion and I wanted that to be in the forefront of her mind when I asked her what I was about to ask her.
“What would you say, if I said, my house was just too fuckin’ big for me? That I’m tired of rattling around in there on my own.”
“I’d ask you, what would make it better?”
�
�You, moving in with me,” I said, and she gave me a sad sort of little half-smile. I rushed on with, “Ain’t gotta make up your mind right now, but I want you to think about it.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah. I think it’d do you a lot of good getting away from this area.”
She was quiet, staring past me, off into space as the cogs and gears of her mind clicked and whirred, running through the possibilities, weighing out the pros and cons.
“I would feel bad leaving Mrs. Sedgwick in a bind,” she murmured and I nodded.
“Is that the only thing holding you here?”
She smoothed her lips together and looked up at me. “Linny.”
“Who is more than welcome to come visit any time she wants. Got a room for your bed, could make it our bed or the guest bed…” I trailed off.
“What about my orchids?” she asked.
“I’m a carpenter, I’ve got a truck. I could disassemble your greenhouse, load it up and take the whole damn thing with us.” She laughed a little and I smiled. “Could even make it bigger. My backyard is pretty sizable. I’d build you whatever you want, Serenity. Work benches, stools, planter boxes.”
“What about a job?” she asked.
“You could call up where you work right now, tell Lydia to fucking shove it, and I could walk you into any place on the boulevard back in Ft. Royal and have you hired on in the first five minutes we were in town.”
She looked wistful. “Just leave all of this behind, just like that?”
“Just like that,” I agreed, and rocked her gently back and forth in my arms. I could see she was sorely tempted.
“God, I want it all so bad,” she murmured.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I really do,” she said softly.
“I can be back here tomorrow with a load of boxes right after work,” I said.
She rolled her eyes. “You’re working closer to Ft. Royal now. Nowhere near here.”
“I’m no fuckin’ stranger to a commute, Little Orchid,” I reminded her with a laugh.
“Can I think about it?” she asked softly.
“You can take as much time as you need, baby.”
“You’re really serious?” She stared up into my face, searching it, trying to see if I was yanking her chain at all.
“As a heart attack,” I affirmed.
“Even after…” she trailed off and I knew what she meant.
“Maybe even because of it, a little,” I told her truthfully. “I don’t feel like I’m as here for you as I should be, as I could be, even with only a couple of hours of distance. I feel like you, being here, so close to where it all went down is like a poison for your soul. The people, the hate that they give, it’s not allowing you to do the kind of healing you need. You should be somewhere that you can find peace.”
“What if… what if you find out after living with me that you can’t actually stand me?” she asked.
I gave her a look like, ‘Don’t be ridiculous’. “Is that your insecurities talking, or really you?” I asked her.
“Fair point, well made,” she said, her voice husky as I stepped closer and lowered my mouth to hers.
I kissed her softly, and failed at keeping it light. I really did have to go, get back to Ft. Royal, and get my shit together for work the next morning.
“I love you,” I murmured against her mouth, when I was finally able to give her up.
Not forever, just for now, I told myself resolutely but it was still damn near impossible to tear myself away. I missed her already, and she was standing right here.
“Moment by moment, minute by minute, mile by mile,” she whispered, and I smiled.
“That’s right,” I told her.
“I’ll think about it,” she said, and I felt a tightness loosen in my chest. I knew her, and the tone of her voice, the inflection she gave it, the gravitas of those four little words told me I definitely had her on the line, but I wasn’t about to push my luck.
“Lock up behind me,” I said, and she sighed unhappily, but nodded.
“I miss you already,” she said, holding open her front door for me and I had to smile. Her words were the very echo of my thoughts just a moment before.
“I’ll see you soon enough.”
“Promise me you’ll message me when you get home,” she said.
“This is my solemn vow. I will message you when I get back to my place.”
“Thank you,” she said with a smile, and she let me go.
I sighed and went down the steps to go back to my bike, pausing to look up at Mrs. Sedgwick on her front porch.
On impulse, I went to talk to the old woman.
“How you doing, Mrs. Sedgwick?” I asked.
“Oh, I’m fine, I’m fine! How was your weekend?”
“It was good, real good. Say, let me ask you something.”
“What’s that?” she asked.
“Would it be a terrible hardship if I took Serenity to Ft. Royal to live with me?”
“Oh, how wonderful!” She clapped her hands together and laughed, delighted.
I guess that answered my question.
“I don’t think she should stay around here,” she said. “People have a funny way about ‘em, you know? She won’t find happiness around these parts with her past hanging over her head like it does.”
“I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve asked her, but I don’t know if she’ll say yes. I don’t want to pressure her none.”
“I understand,” she said, waving me off. “If she comes to me, I will be more than happy to encourage her. She’s a good girl and I’ll miss her, but I always knew this wasn’t going to be forever. You know how it is.”
“Yes ma’am. You have a nice evening now,” I told her.
“Oh, I surely will. You be careful riding home, now.”
“Always.” I gave her a wink, and she shooed me, laughing.
It was good to know I had the keen old woman on my side in this. If there were any holdouts in my little orchid’s mind, that would have been it. Just Nellie Sedgwick and her best friend Linny. If there were going to be any hurdle at all, it was really going to be Linny.
I would just have to see what side of the coin landed face down on that one.
I rode back to my place and it was a pretty uneventful ride, except for the weight I carried, the heavy sensation in the center of my chest that I’d left her behind and just how wrong it felt.
I was never more sure of anything in my life than I was about Serenity and her place in mine. She belonged with me, and I only hoped that she could look past her fucked-up programming and past her damage long enough to let herself grab onto the happy I knew she had with me.
I called her just as soon as I pulled into my garage and shut off the bike.
“Hey,” she murmured, and I smiled.
“Hey, you doing okay?”
“Mm-hm, took a shower after you left and was just lying here waiting for you to call.”
“Listen, your bitch manager tries to give you any grief tomorrow –”
“I actually had an email from HR waiting for me, sent Friday afternoon.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah, just a generic one.” She put on a fake-official sounding voice and said, “We will look into this matter and get back to you as soon as possible.”
“Oh, yeah,” I said, not surprised.
“I mean it,” she said softly. “I’ll think about your offer.”
“You just let me know what you want, baby. I’m here for it. I mean it. Whatever you need.”
“You are far too good to me.”
“Just making up for lost time. You deserve the world. I may not may not be able to give you the whole world, but I’d do just about anything to make you happy.”
“I love you,” she whispered softly, and I smiled.
“I love you, too.”
“As much as I hate to –”
I cut her off with a slight laugh. “Ah, hey, yeah. I get it.
Get some good sleep and ping me tomorrow. Like I said, I wanna know what happens.”
“Alright,” she said.
“Bye for now.”
“Good night.”
I ended the call and let out a shuddering sigh, trying like hell to shake it off, the feeling like I should turn right back around and go get her.
It was her decision. I respected that. Now I just needed to wrangle my Neanderthal brain into submission.
27
Serenity…
Work was an absolute fucking drag. Lydia was a bitch, but she kept a lid on it now that HR was up her ass, but honestly, what made it a total drag was the seed Stoker had planted. The one that was growing at a phenomenal rate that said ‘You don’t have to do this anymore if you don’t want to. You can move away from here, get a new job, someplace smaller; someplace where it’s not so full of these entitled monsters who don’t care about you. Who don’t care what you’ve even been through…’
Stoker cared. The rest of his motorcycle pirate crew cared. I was becoming friends with Faith, giving Linny a break from being the only one I could lean on.
Speaking of Linny, if I broke for lunch now, I might catch her on hers in the food court.
“Timothy, am I good to take lunch?” I asked my co-worker. He looked up from where he was secretly browsing on his phone like we weren’t supposed to and gave me a nod.
“Yeah, sure, go ahead.”
“Cool, thank you.”
I clocked out from the terminal and got my purse out of my locker, ghosting past Lydia’s open office door behind her back like she was an angry T-rex, like I was trying not to trigger her visual acuity or something, and stifling a giggle at the image it conjured in my mind.
I found Linny waiting in line for food at our favorite joint to grab salad at.
“Hey, you! How was your weekend?”
I rolled my eyes slightly and said, “I don’t know that I’m going to be able to fill you in on the whole thing in one lunch half-hour,” I said.
