Though it hadn’t been intentional, Holly had turned Shane into her coping mechanism. It was selfish for more reasons that she could count, but she told herself that she was keeping the man safe by keeping him at a distance – and in turn, he helped her get through every meeting she had with the man who was slowly eating away at every shred of her dignity.
Holly knew she had acted impulsively. Shane had come to close – right to the edge of her spilling the truth to him – and that would have been dangerous for everyone involved. So, instead of speaking, Holly had touched him.
And God, had she touched him.
The man was all hard lines and mouthwatering muscle, from chest to thigh and beyond. Somehow, she hadn’t expected him to be nearly so responsive – for the skin pulled over tight steel to flutter beneath her touch and contract under her tongue.
Shane tasted like salt, sweat and a deeper, uniquely unidentifiable flavor that was simply him…and from the first sample, Holly was utterly and totally hooked.
Before Shane, she didn’t think she would ever have called herself aggressive in bed. Certainly, Tommy let her be on top her fair share of times and she’d enjoyed it well enough, but she had never been a take-charge sort of woman. Shane made her want to explore. To wretch every reaction she could from his gorgeous body and then some. Holly could lick him from head to toe and she knew it would never be enough.
That she would always want more.
She pressed her lips together tightly as she slid out of her small silver SUV in a parking lot not too far from the restaurant.
Kelly had suggested that she was leeching all the happiness from her life by not indulging Shane, but that wasn’t the truth at all. She was preserving his happiness. The man might have only re-entered her life a month ago, but Holly could see exactly who he was: a caring, kind figure that was perhaps a little too overprotective for his own good. A damaged man with a painful past he was trying to overcome.
The urge to give into him was almost overwhelming. There were times where she wanted to take him into her arms and soothe every hurt that he’d ever had…but Holly knew better.
They might be able to sleep together, but anything beyond that would complicate things – Tommy’s memory, Shane’s relationship with Maddy…there was enough guilt to go around the block and back when it came to things she couldn’t control. If there was one thing Holly knew, it was that loving someone meant losing them.
And she didn’t know if she could go through that again.
Locking her car, Holly quickly made her way to the restaurant, which was already open and serving brunch. Kelly greeted her at the door with a bright smile, taking her coat. As usual the blonde looked absolutely resplendent. Only she could pull off looking like an absolute goddess in her Tommy’s uniform. “He’s in the office waiting for you.”
Immediately, her heart plummeted into her stomach.
But for Kelly, Holly plastered a grin on her face, nodding as she made her way through the restaurant and towards the back office.
The door to the small room was already ajar when she reached it, and she took a deep breath before letting herself inside.
Kirk Luckston sat behind her desk, his hands folded before him, watching her with half-crazed blue eyes. Holly closed the office door behind her before setting her bag on top of the file cabinet to face her foe.
Kirk merely unfolded his fingers to tap them impatiently against the desk as they stared one another down for a long beat. Then, without a word, he beckoned her.
Holly went. She knew better than to try and escape him. It would only make what came next worse. No sooner had she come within arms-length than Kirk lunged forward, one hand yanking at a handful of her dark waves to bring her closer to him. Holly muffled her cry of pain by biting down on her lower lip – hard. “Where the fuck were you earlier this week?”
He certainly didn’t waste any time getting to the point, breathing words tinged with both lust and fury into her ear as he palmed her breast roughly. Holly flinched only slightly, telling herself stolidly to think of Shane. What Shane had done to her in this room. How Shane had managed Maddie earlier that week after the police found her.
Shane.
“I had an issue at home.” She managed, her scalp throbbing beneath Luckston’s hold. “There was an emergency and I couldn’t come in!”
“What the fuck kind of emergency takes you from me?” He seethed in return, forcing her body down into Tommy’s chair and against him. “You’re mine, d’you hear me? For as long as I deem necessary.”
“Yes, Kirk.” He pinched her thigh harshly enough that she knew he’d leave a bruise and she inhaled sharply as his grip on her hair only tightened. “The next time you miss a meeting, I’ll go right on down to that nice little community your mother lives in and pay her a visit.” Holly’s stomach twisted in nervousness. She’d meant to take Maddy down to visit her grandmother before she’d run away, but that had, of course, been nipped in the bud.
More than anything, she wanted to scream at Luckston for daring to threaten her family when she’d already been through so much, but she knew what the results of that endeavor would be. So she just kept silent. And later on that evening, she’d put in an anonymous tip about tightening the security in the community where her mother lived.
“Now, where’s my money?”
He always asked for the money first – but it never hurt Holly any less to part with it. Half of their biweekly earnings – sometimes up to thirty thousand dollars. Somehow, Holly strongly doubted that Tommy would have left enough debt for her to be paying Kirk Luckston forever.
Now he was just enjoying the power he held over her.
“If you let me go, I’ll get it for you.” She managed stiffly.
“No.” His reply was curt and immediate. “You can get it when I’m done with you.”
Holly’s stomach immediately tightened in apprehension, nausea threatening. While Kirk might not actually defile her body, he found plenty of ways to entertain himself with it – and none of them were pleasant. Closing her eyes, Holly concentrated on Shane.
And waited for Kirk to finish.
Chapter 13
About an hour and a half passed before the bastard finally left the office, and once he did, Holly promptly stumbled to the bathroom to be sick into the nearest available toilet. She couldn’t see how she had ever possibly thought there was no threat to Kirk Luckston. The very air around the man was thick with menace…she could feel when he was in the restaurant, and enduring his attentions got harder and harder every time she saw him.
When Holly had finished emptying the content of her stomach into the toilet bowl, she rested her cheek against the seat, closing her eyes as she remembered why she had to endure. She summoned up the image of her daughter’s angelic face.
Maddy. She could do anything for Maddy. Anything for her mother.
And anything to protect Shane. – even if he didn’t know it.
“Holly?”
At the sound of the bathroom door opening, she stiffened. Of course Kelly would come check on her. “Holly, are you alright?”
She cleared her throat quickly. “Fine. I’m fine…just feeling a bit queasy is all.” While she had hoped that Kelly would take that as her cue to leave, instead, the tall, slender woman made her way towards the stall Holly had sequestered herself in, knocking on it gently.
“You don’t sound fine to me.” The next thing she knew, the blonde was peeking under the bottom of the scowl, and from her vantage point, Holly scowled at her.
“I’m fine, I promise. I’ll be out in the minute.”
As she took in the state of her friend, Kelly’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t look fine to me, Hols.” She shook her head slowly, blonde locks brushing over the floor. “You look pale and sick. Like you can barely stand up.”
In defiance of that very claim, Holly forced herself to her feet, fighting the wave of dizziness that swept over her. As she had just thrown up everything in her stoma
ch, she was now running on empty – that, and dealing with Kirk Luckston always exhausted her. She gazed down at Kelly’s worried expression, her smile reassuring.
“See? Fine.”
In response, Kelly merely mimicked her earlier displeased expression, obviously skeptical. “Come out of there.”
Despite the fact that Holly was the owner-operator of the restaurant, behind closed doors, Kelly certainly gave plenty of orders. And if she wanted to keep appearances up, these were orders that Holly would follow. Steeling herself, she unlocked the bathroom door, stepping out to eye her friend face to face. “Happy now?”
Kelly gave her a hard look, her full mouth drawn together as she contemplated. Nearly thirty seconds passed before her scowl returned, though this time less disapproval than raw concern. “Holly…you know you can tell me anything, right?”
Oh Jesus. There had been very few times in the long course of their friendship that Kelly had pulled this particular card on her – the one driven by a sense of empathy and loyalty that was usually very well placed. In this particular scenario, however, instead of reassuring Holly, it only made her feel guilty.
She couldn’t tell Kelly. Not Kelly or anyone else. It was far too dangerous.
“I know.” She forced herself to smile as she reached forward to squeeze her best friend’s shoulders firmly in reassurance. “And I appreciate it, Kelly. You know if anything were really wrong, I’d tell you.”
The blonde sighed, wrapping her arms around Holly to pull her into an expected embrace. When she squeezed, Holly laughed softly at her enthusiasm, some of her discomfort forgotten. “If you say so. You know I’m only worried about you because I love the ever-loving fuck out of you, right?”
That was enough to draw a laugh from Holly. “I know.” She rubbed the blonde’s back warmly. “And I appreciate it.” She and Kelly had been so close for so long that to say it wasn’t hard for her not to confide in her friend would be lying to herself. At least two or three times a day, she picked up her phone to dial Kelly and divulge the secret she’d been hiding for well over six months. She wanted to be able to cry out all of her pain and suffering, wanted someone to curse and fear Kirk Luckston along with her.
But to protect Kelly – along with everyone she loved – she was forced to remain silent.
“Good. You’d better.” With a relieved grin, Kelly released her before heading towards the bathroom door. “You coming back out on the floor?”
Holly nodded, running a hand through her hair. “Yeah. Just one minute.” Giving her the thumbs up, Kelly finally slipped through the bathroom door, leaving her friend alone once more.
Holly’s smile immediately slipped.
She strode over to the sinks to splash cold water on her face as reminded herself that she only had to get through today’s shift before she could go home and be with Maddy. Every time she spoke with Kelly, that she looked around the restaurant and remembered all that Tommy had built, and that she saw her daughter’s sweet face, she would remember why she was holding it together.
Holly had held it together from the moment she discovered that she was going to be a mother. From the second she decided that she was going to help Tommy achieve his dream instead of following her own. The only difference between then and the present was that then, she’d had the love of her husband to keep her going.
Now, Tommy was gone, and she remained.
Holly left the bathroom a few minutes later, sure to put on a bright smile for anyone who was looking. She headed for the bar in order to take stock of what they would need to order for upcoming events, only to be stopped in her tracks by a low, amused voice.
“So she is alright. That’s good.” The brunette’s head jerked up to see Kelly smiling at her from a booth tucked in the back corner of the restaurant. It wasn’t the blonde, however, who had spoken.
The man seated at the booth was an almost unsettlingly attractive man with dark brown hair and blue eyes that were simultaneously piercing and alluring. He was dressed well, in a name brand suit that clung to a well-maintained body. He was drinking one of the most expensive bottles they had to offer, and the musk of cologne that hung around his table was unmistakably high class.
The reason Kelly hung over the man’s table was apparent instantly. “Excuse me?” Holly arched a brow, looking from Kelly to the customer and back with a small smile.
He chuckled, showing off gleaming white teeth. “Your friend was worried about you. I was just promising her that you’d be fine, and here you are. Thank you for helping me keep my word.”
A charmer if there ever was one. “No problem at all. Glad to see that Kelly has such charming company.”
The customer winked winningly at her before taking a sip of his wine. “Can’t have your management bored now, can we?”
As Kelly all but tittered, Holly found herself stifling a laugh, glad that her good humor had returned. If only this guy knew that Holly was bound to treat him like she did most guys – that was: taking him home a few times before growing bored with him and moving on to someone else. But if it made her friend happy for the moment – and she was being careful – who was Holly to question the order of things?
Kelly was plenty old enough to make her own decisions, and had been for years. “I suppose we can’t.” Moving forward, she extended her hand amicably, by the way. “I’m Holly, by the way.”
“Holly Wilder, yes. The owner.” The customer took her hand in a firm grip, shaking once. “Kelly was just telling me. Everyone in the community was devastated to hear about your husband.” His blue eyes gleamed in sympathy. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Holly’s smile faded only slightly as her heart twisted sharply in her breast. “Thank you.” Her hand receded quickly and she gripped the hem of the shirt she wore, willing the pain to subside.
“If it’s any consolation: The place looks absolutely amazing. I was just telling Kelly that I’ll have to come more often.”
“Of course.” She felt herself nodding slowly as she tried to keep the conversation light. “I didn’t catch your name, I’m sorry.”
Before the dark-haired man could even answer, Kelly jumped in, her excitement fairly palpable. “Holly, this is Rob. He’s in trading.”
Well, it was obvious that Rob-in- trading was very into Kelly. At the very least, at least he would serve as a distraction for a little while so the blonde didn’t worry about her anymore. “Well, it’s lovely to meet you, Rob-in-trading. I’ve got to get away to do some paperwork just now, but I’m sure Kelly would be glad to keep you company.”
In that second, something seemed to stir in Rob’s gaze. It was split second – so quick that, later, Holly would convince herself that she had imagined it. A dark, predatory gleam momentarily directed towards the smiling, gushing Kelly - gone as quickly as it had come. “Of course. I understand. We’ll talk later then.”
As she turned to leave them, Holly let herself relax a bit, even as a nagging suspicion in her subconscious tugged at her. She’d had misgivings about Kelly’s choices in men before, and all of them had turned out to be unfounded. She’d trust her friend to be careful – and check on her in the meantime.
It was infinitely more likely, Holly contemplated, that her own experiences in the past year had made her paranoid. Everyone wasn’t out to get her and those close to her.
Only those Tommy had tangled with – and they were quite enough.
Chapter 14
The restaurant was bustling.
Shane supposed he hadn’t picked the best time to come and see Holly, but, surprisingly, during one of the stints of him watching his niece, she’d asked him why she hadn’t seen much of her mother in a while.
Madison was an interesting little thing.
Shane didn’t have very much experience with children – none, in fact. He and Tommy had no younger siblings, and none of the friends he had before he went away had been old enough to have children.
His brother had been a shining example.
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And then, of course, behind bars, there were no kids. Only the whispers of them among the inmates – lives and families left behind. People spoke of their kids like they were goddamned unicorns – fantastic creatures they’d never see again. But then again, Shane had been locked up with a number of felons who had sentences far longer than his.
So, in a way, it made sense.
Shane had never even thought about having children of his own. For a while, he’d thought about Tommy…what a great Dad he’d make and the happy little family he would have. Holly and a baby daughter…
Of course, it hadn’t taken long enough for that admiration to turn to jealousy in the wake of their feud.
But Shane had eight long years to think about what happened between he and Tommy – eight long years to recall what he’d said, and for those words to come back to haunt him. Eight years to picture Tommy and Holly’s little girl, to realize that he was still family, and that one day he might know her.
Might want his own children.
Well, children were a goddamned handful. He’d first agreed to watch Madison to take some pressure off Holly’s shoulders. Shane was quickly learning that it wasn’t as easy as he might have assumed.
His first session with Maddy was spent reinforcing the fact that he wouldn’t allow her to call him Dad. Tommy was her Dad and he wasn’t out to take that away. There were fountains of tears, but Shane held steadfast until the little hellion calmed down and finally said Uncle.
Literally.
After that, things were pretty whirlwind. She wanted to eat, she wanted juice, she wanted help with her homework –he, for the life of him, had no idea why second grade education was so damn redundant. She wanted to eat, she wanted to play- and of course, when she wanted to play, there were few sports or masculine endeavors involved. No, Madison wanted tea parties. She wanted to dress up and she wanted to watch movies where the main cartoon characters looked like failed plastic surgery experiments.
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