She let Maddy out of the car before taking her daughter’s hand to lead her through the open cemetery gates.
It was a gorgeous late fall day – though that meant little for temperature in Miami. It was still around seventy degrees with sunny skies and a light breeze. Holly might have contemplated taking Maddy to the beach when she had a day off, but in the meantime, she was focused on her daughter’s reaction to her father’s grave.
Shane was already standing there, and Holly was surprised to see him in a suit. She’d never expected him to be the type.
But it fit him well – too well. Outlining his massive shoulders, trim waist and his long, long legs…
To Holly’s surprise, Maddy didn’t immediately run to him. Instead, she clung to her mother’s hand as they approached the place where her father had been laid to rest. Holly felt her own stomach tightening as each step brought her closer and closer to Shane’s side.
There is was – the simple headstone with Tommy’s name and the dates of his birth and death.
Standing here, it was easy to remember the date of his funeral, the cemetery crowded with people and her heart heavy with grief.
“Hey, Holly.” When Shane spoke next to her, she swallowed thickly, the print on the gravestone seeming to swallow her up. Holly’s eyes closed tightly as she remembered the night he’d been taken from her…all the blood and pain.
She knew he was dead…that nothing would bring him back. She knew that he had left her a mountain of debt…that he’d made a mistake that he meant to tell her about, and she was trying to forgive him for it, but she would never deny that she had loved him with all her heart.
And, all at once, Holly was angry. She was furious.
It was fucking unfair that Tommy’s killers got to continue to victimize her when they’d already murdered her husband. That they could continue to threaten everything she held dear when they had already taken so much from her.
She didn’t realize that tears of frustration were flowing down her cheeks until Maddy wrapped her arms around her waist tightly, drawing her attention downward.
“Don’t cry, mommy.” The little girl’s green eyes were wide and earnest, gleaming with tears of their own. “I don’t want you to cry anymore.”
God, that face. Her sweet, angelic, innocent little girl. What happened if she couldn’t maintain her charade with Kirk Luckston? What happened if he decided that half of the income from her restaurant wasn’t enough and wanted more? Her precious little girl would be in danger.
“Holly?” She only heard Shane dimly calling her name as she fell to her knees, cupping her daughter’s upturned face between her hands. She could remember how scared she’d been when she found out she was pregnant at the tender age of eighteen. Scared, excited and confused…but all of that had faded away the first time she saw Madison’s perfect face. Taking a deep breath, Holly remembered her mother, who had raised her until she started to forget and things began to blur together. Who had loved and supported her until she was no longer physically and mentally able.
Luckston threatened them. Threatened her and all he had left.
And in that moment, it was almost more than she could bear.
Maddy went to bed early that night – around eight in the evening, and Holly popped open a bottle of wine open for Shane and herself. After that afternoon in the cemetery, she knew she needed it – and damn the results.
After her little breakdown, their visit had ended pretty quickly, with Shane offering to drive them home. For the first time in a long time, both she and Maddy were caught in their grief at the same time, if for entirely different reasons. By the time they returned home, Madison was exhausted, nodding over her dinner. Shane remained thoughtfully silent as they ate before offering to put her to bed.
And giving Holly a moment to get her head together.
She sat on the couch, sipping from the glass she’d poured as she mulled over the state of her life. A tenuous balance, maintained by her willingness to accept her own suffering. Holly honestly believed her suffering might have ended with the original debt that Tommy left, but everything had been extended. Prolonged. She might never know how much Tommy actually owed, or how he had accrued the debt, but now she was paying for it.
And any illustrious image she might have had of her late husband had been shattered. Tommy had been very human – this she knew. But now that fact was even more concrete in her mind. It made her recall when he had asked her to give up everything she wanted to start a family with him. She’d been young, in love, pregnant and confused, and so, of course, she hadn’t hesitated. Holly had given up going to college, getting her degree and the dreams she once had to support the man she adored. And she had never once looked back.
Not until now.
“You alright, Holly?”
Shane’s unexpected, deep voice sent a shiver down her spine, and a moment after he spoke, he stepped into view.
She gazed up at him, her mouth drying at the sight of the deeply inked designs revealed by the shirtsleeves pushed up to his elbows and his intense green gaze. A low burn ignited in her belly and she pressed her thighs together, waging an inner war with her seemingly insatiable libido. “Is…Maddy asleep?”
“Out like a light.” He took a seat on the sofa next to her, and when his thigh pressed against hers, her breath caught. The little alcohol she’d drank didn’t help, and she set her glass of wine down as he repeated his question. “Are you ok?”
Holly opened her mouth, then shut it, before choosing her answer carefully. “I don’t know.”
Shane arched a dark brow, stroking over the stubble on his chin as he stared at her. “Don’t you?”
Sighing, Holly ran a hand through her hair before finally giving voice to her emotions. “I wonder how much I know about anything anymore. My marriage, this restaurant…it’s like…it’s like I’m drowning and all I want to do is make sure that no one gets hurt.” That was as much of the truth as she could let herself reveal.
Reaching out, Shane curled a hand into her shoulder reassuringly, rubbing the bare flesh exposed by her dress absently with a thumb. “Why would anyone be hurt, Holly? The hurt is over. What happened to Tommy was fucking horrible, but that no one will ever hurt you. I’ll make fucking sure of it.”
God, more than anything, she wanted to believe him. Holly wanted to let him protect her, but she knew she’d only be putting his life at risk if she mentioned Kirk Luckston, and that was the last thing she wanted. Her lips parted to thank him for his concern, but instead, Holly found herself asking another question.
One she’d long wondered but had never broached. “Shane…what happened between you and Tommy?”
His eyes immediately darkened. Looking away, Shane released her shoulder to sit back against the sofa, his expression contemplative. When he finally spoke, his tone was low and steady. “It was stupid, really. Fucking stupid. We were young and idiotic and Tommy had everything ahead of him. He could have done anything he wanted. Fucking anything. I liked getting into trouble and pushing my boundaries. I was getting into some ridiculous shit – drugs, guns…hanging out with the wrong people. I wasn’t so far in I couldn’t have gotten out, but Tommy saw that shit…and he wasn’t having it.
Holly’s eyes widened at the revelation. Though she knew that Shane was a trouble maker in high school, she had never imagined that he had gone so far. All she had known was that he hung out with them less and less as their senior year went on and, ultimately, he and Tommy had stopped speaking a little before she found out she was pregnant. “He confronted me about it,” Shane went on blithely, “And of course, I exploded. I was pissed because he didn’t know what it was like…to have someone who looked exactly like you but was better at everything. Sports, classes…even getting the girl. Tommy never knew that struggle. He had a natural charm and I…fuck…I was just the black sheep. I told him that I wanted to live my life, and I’d be damned if he interfered. I was angry…so fucking angry…But the truth was…I wished
I could be like him. To have everything he had and have our parents dote on me. Up until that point, the best thing that had ever happened to me was the one night you thought I was Tommy.”
Holly flushed immediately, her cheeks burning.
She was no less shocked now than she had been the night Shane revealed that little detail to her. The first real make out session of her young life had, in fact, been with Shane, and not with Tommy.
And in truth…Holly had often wondered why he had kissed her so passionately that day beneath the bleachers. With a pure hunger that Tommy had never seemed to be able to muster again. Certainly, he’d been an attentive lover, but the raw need that crackled in the air between she and Shane…Holly hadn’t ever felt that with Tommy.
“I told him if he didn’t want to accept me the way I was, we had no place in each other’s lives…and Tommy being Tommy…he took that shit to heart. He said he didn’t want to talk to me again until I changed my outlook on life, and being the stubborn kid I was…I let him go.” Shane frowned deeply. “And in the process, I lost him. I lost our parents, I lost you and Kelly…I threw all that away to fuck around with people who didn’t give two shits about me, for the most part….and you know the rest.”
Slowly, Holly shook her head. She didn’t know. And if she was ever really going to understand the relationship between Tommy and his brother, she would have to. “Shane…why did they put you away?”
She remembered wanting to know – begging Tommy to tell her. But at the time, she’d been six months pregnant and he hadn’t wanted her to have anything to do with Shane anymore. He refused to answer her questions and she had too much respect for him to go behind his back.
At her question, Shane turned around to face her, his expression flat. “I killed a man.”
Holly’s eyes flew wide and her heart leapt into her throat. Before she could stop them, the words burst from her mouth. “No you didn’t.” Her whisper was fierce and low. “I don’t believe you. The Shane I know would never, ever take a life.”
Shane’s answering stare was hard and long. Then unexpectedly, he reached out to cup her cheek, his thumb stroking over her cheek with surprising tenderness. “Maybe not before I went away, Holly…but while I was inside…I did things I don’t want to think about. Things I had to do to protect myself…so don’t look at me like I’m some kind of avenging angel. If I wasn’t a monster before I went in, I turned into one in there.”
If his words weren’t enough to make her shudder, the hardness in Shane’s gaze certainly was. For a brief moment, she could see it. All the years of self-preservation, fear and hardship…all in eyes so similar to Tommy’s, and yet so incredibly different.
“So…” She found herself suddenly breathless, her heart hammering against her ribs as she struggled to understand. “They put you away for someone else’s crime.”
At that particular question, the dark-haired man’s mouth quirked into an amused smirk. “Something like that.” He let his hand drop from her face, reaching over to grab the extra wine glass she’d poured for him and take a sip. “I took up for someone that made a bad deal.” He made a face at the flavor of the Merlot that had Holly smiling despite the conversation. She supposed that she hadn’t ever really considered that Shane might not be a wine person.
She definitely needed to stock some beer in her fridge.
“Someone got killed. He did it, I took the rap for him and I went away for the eight. It’s as simple as that.”
“But…why?” Holly inquired, shaking her head slowly. “You lost eight years of your life for this guy. Was it really worth it? I mean…really?”
Shane drained the rest of his glass of wine in one go, setting the empty vessel on the coffee table. When he next spoke, his words were low and firm, laced with no small amount of gratitude. “Holly, when my own family wanted nothing to do with me, Alex and his took me in. Put clothes on my back, gave me money when I needed...he’s like a brother to me.”
Like the brother he’d lost, perhaps. The realization washed over her, sending her reeling. “So…this Alex…where is he now? Does he even remember what you did for him?” She demanded, simultaneously furious and confused that another man would allow someone he was so close with to be incarcerated for his crimes. What kind of brotherhood was that?
“He’s Alexander Paine.” Shane’s reply stole every iota of breath that might have been left in her lungs. “He was in your restaurant a few weeks ago.”
Holly stared at him, hard, trying to wrap her mind around what he’d just told her.
The man that Shane went to prison for was Alexander Paine? Son of Jackson Paine, one of the most infamous crime lords in the country? Supposedly, the man ran the entirety of New York with an iron fist. His only son oversaw the running of his affairs in Miami and there wasn’t anyone with any sense who didn’t know his name.
He’d been in her restaurant? When!?
“You…” She tried for words and failed. “You know…Alexander Paine?”
Shane shrugged. “Met him when he was young. Fell into his crowd, but Alex was always more of a leader than a follower. Part of the reason Tommy was so pissed at me.”
“Jesus…” Holly let her head hang forward as she raked her hands through her hair.
“Holly, take a deep breath. It’s fine.”
Easier said than done. She thought she had secrets. She’d clearly underestimated Shane to a large degree. “You work for him now?” She found herself asking weakly. “What, are you his body guard, his hitman?” As much as she wanted to let Shane be with Maddy, this might open up a whole new can of worms…
“Hey.” Taking her wrist gently, Shane forced her to look up at him with a low command, and the visceral heat in his gaze had her biting back a moan of longing. “I work at Dad’s shop. That’s it. I’m going straight and Alex knows that. We’re just friends.”
Just friends with one of the most powerful and dangerous men in Miami. Fancy that. “I promise, Holly.” Shane repeated, his gaze locked on hers. “I won’t let anything happen to you, and that includes my past fucking with your present.”
Slowly, she nodded. There was no reason for her to distrust him. This was the man who had helped bring Maddy out of her shell, who had been there for her even when she tried to drive him away.
Even if Shane wasn’t exactly what she thought, he was honest.
And he was fucking gorgeous.
She let her eyes travel over the length of him, from the top of his head to the jut of his suit pants where he sat on the couch and she swallowed thickly. Goddamn the fucking suit. It highlighted the incredible lines of his body far too well, and when he looked at her like that…like she was literally the only thing in the world that existed…
“Don’t fucking look at me like that, Holly.” Shane growled, low in his throat. The sound was enough to coax her nipples into stiff peaks beneath her dress, and did absolutely nothing to prevent her from staring at him in the exact way she’d been told not to.
“Why not?” She managed hoarsely, now unable to look away from the strong line of his jaw covered in a dark layer of stubble, his full mouth and those amazing eyes…
“Because it’s a one way street to a thorough, uncompromising fucking and I’m supposed to be supporting you, not fucking you.”
The very notion sent a delicious wave of warmth sliding through her. He was right. He wasn’t supposed to be fucking her. In fact, despite how desperately she’d all but thrown herself at him weeks ago, Holly had convinced herself that it wouldn’t happen again. Not if she knew what was good for her.
There was a laundry list of reasons she couldn’t get involved with Shane. His safety, for one. Her sanity. The fact that he was Tommy’s brother…
“Shane…I…” Before she could utter another word, his mouth crashed down on hers and Holly forgot every rational thought in her head. Her hands immediately delved through his head as he bore her to the couch, pressing her flush against the leather material. His tongue thru
st between her lips, teasing her lower lip and tempting her own to tangle with it as every nerve ending in her body tingled in delicious awareness.
As many times as she’d imagined his powerful arms around her – as many times as she told herself that one memory was enough to last a lifetime, nothing was a glorious as the real thing. The heat of him, the press of his chest against her already peaked nipples as he all but devoured her mouth. Holly arched against him unabashedly, moaning at the feel of the erection already tenting his slacks.
She wanted him inside her, and she wanted it immediately, but this time, she wouldn’t rush. If she was going to have Shane now, she would savor it. It would be different from the masturbatory dreams from which she awoke in a frenzy.
She would have the real thing.
“Fuck, you smell so good…” He murmured against her mouth, tugging at her lower lip with his teeth deftly. “I dreamed of how you’d smell, Holly…”
She tugged his shirt from where it was tucked into his pants, needing to feel the smooth, taut length of skin pulled over steel-like muscle. When she found the small of his back, moving upwards almost possessively, he groaned, thrusting his hips once, sharply, against hers. The man’s mouth slipped from her own as he reached for the neckline of her dress. In a smooth motion, he tugged it down over her shoulders, pinning her arms to her sides and exposing the plain black cotton of the bra she wore.
When he immediately frowned, some of the heat fading from his eyes, Holly flushed. She knew she didn’t have the fanciest taste in underwear, but she had hoped that wouldn’t deter him too much –
“What the hell is this?” Holly immediately followed Shane’s gaze to find that grouping of small, circular bruises high on her chest. Her eyes widened as she remembered how flagrantly Kirk Luckston had marked her during their last encounter and her mind whirled as she tried to think of an excuse.
“Shane, its fine. I just had a little accident in the kitchen…” But he was already shimmying the dress the rest of the way from her body to drop it on the floor, his gaze growing more and more incredulous with each inch of her skin that was revealed.
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