Anne scoffed. “Yeah, right.”
“Regardless, I can’t put him through my sisters.” I grunted. “You should have heard them tonight, Annie. They were going on about rich boyfriends and the Military College boys like it was going out of fashion. I guess I could have ignored it if Austin hadn’t so obviously heard as well.”
“What did he say?” Her face showed her concern.
“That’s the worst bit. Nothing. He didn’t say anything about it. He gave me a look which I think was supposed to be sympathetic, but I saw the annoyance and disgust behind his eyes.”
“I’m sure he wasn’t thinking any of that,” she tutted.
“But, that, dear Annie, that is not the worst part…”
“I’m sure you’re going to tell me, but I’ll ask for dramatic effect. What was the worst part, Lily?”
“The worst part was seeing him…like that…all night. The worst part is the knowledge that he’s actually nothing like I thought he was. The worst part is knowing I’m the one who turned him down.”
“That’s a lot of worst parts. Any others?”
I sighed again. “The worst part will be knowing he’s right there…and I can’t have him.”
“It’s all easily fixed, Lil. You just have to tell him you were wrong and that you like him.”
“I must be more drunk than I thought. Anne, you’re making no sense. I can’t talk to Austin about it. How do I go back on everything I said to him?”
“I imagine it’s quite simple, just say ‘Austin, I like you. Let’s go out.’ Also, kissing him the way you did probably gives him a fair idea.”
I snorted. “No, kissing him like that probably gives him a fair idea that I’m very partial to his physical specimen and how his face is all…” I waved my hands in the air, “so nicely aligned.”
“What were you guys doing before you left?” Anne giggled.
“Playing beer pong, why?”
“I think it’s starting to hit you.”
“Don’t be ridic-louse.” I shook my head.
She sighed. “Will you talk to Austin tomorrow about how you feel?”
“How I feel? I don’t like him like that, Anne. He’s just a very agreeable kisser.”
“You keep telling yourself that, Lily.”
“’S’true,” I said. “He’s damn sexy, incredible wonderful, and the best kisser in the world.”
“But, you don’t like him.”
I shook my head vehemently. “Nope. ‘Sides, I’m not the girl for him. I don’t even know if he still likes me. How likely are you to keep liking a girl who tells you you’re the last person she’d ever fall in love with?”
“Where’s your water bottle?” she asked, getting up.
“You didn’t answer my question,” I said, rolling over and snuggling into her pillow.
“No, I didn’t,” she said with a laugh as she wandered around the other side of the room. “And, I suppose I wouldn’t really feel amenable to her if she turned around a week later and declared herself to me.”
“What, why?” I asked, sitting up.
She gave me a humoured expression. “Because, Lil, I guess I know I’d always wonder if she’d change her mind again.”
“So, not telling him I like him is a good plan?”
“I thought you didn’t like him?”
I waved my hand at her. “You know what I mean.”
She sat back down on her bed and passed me a bottle of water. “I think…” she said slowly, “I think if you’re still telling yourself you don’t like him and that you can’t possibly be together, then you need to stand by your convictions. You can’t go getting his hopes up, if, in fact, there are still any hopes to get up, and risk hurting you both.”
Anne wasn’t really making any sense and I wondered if she’d had more to drink than I’d realised, but I think I managed to get something out of the conversation; avoid Austin.
****
My mouth was fuzzy and my head was sore.
I groaned as I rolled over.
“How’re you feeling?” I heard Anne laugh.
“Not the worst I’ve ever felt, but not great either.”
“Good. Why don’t you go have a shower?”
“Ugh, I so can’t wait until the Christmas break and I can have a bath! A nice long bath with a book.”
“Well, lucky you only have to wait about another three weeks.”
I sat up slowly, finding myself in Anne’s bed, still fully clothed. I grimaced. “Sorry, that was well uncool of me.”
Anne just smiled. “It’s fine, you were a perfect gentleman.”
I laughed. “Well, that’s okay then.”
I frowned as snippets of memory after beer pong started coming back to me.
“Yeah, beer pong hit you are after you got back. You started out not too bad, then all of a sudden, you crashed.” She laughed. “And snored.”
“And drooled by the feel of it.” I grimaced again. “Sorry.”
She waved a hand at me. “It’s fine, but it’s my turn to pass out in your bed next time.”
“Deal,” I laughed, standing up.
As I changed to have a shower, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. “Jesus, I look like night of the living dead or something.”
“I doubt you’re the only one,” Anne said.
I nodded, she was probably right. “I’m going to shower and attempt to return some sense of humanity to this mess.”
“Good luck.” She scoffed sarcastically and I threw a pillow at her. “When you get back, shall we get coffee?”
My mouth watered at the mention of coffee. “God, yes, and a Panadol. Maybe some lemonade. And, something salty.”
She chuckled and nodded. “All the things.”
“All the things,” I agreed, picking up my towel and toiletries.
As I wandered down the hall, I recalled my conversation with Anne before I’d apparently essentially passed out. I can’t say I remembered much about the conversation, but I remembered Anne had made very little sense and I’d come to the sad but true realisation that Austin and I were never going to be together.
I wasn’t about to give myself to a guy who a) I couldn’t decide if I didn’t like or I was telling myself that so I didn’t get hurt, and b) could easily come to resent me and my annoying family – not that I’d be able to blame him entirely. Still, it would be safer all around to just keep believing I didn’t like him like that and save everyone some time and heartache.
Friends, we could totally just be friends.
I heard my name called and turned around. I smiled at Hunter as he jogged up to me.
“You’ve seen better days,” he said.
“So have you,” I replied, indicating his hair, which was significantly messier than usual, and what I suspected were his clothes from the night before.
He grinned. “Yeah, found myself waking up on your side of the school.”
Something about him annoyed me that morning…or, was it afternoon? But, I didn’t know what it was. His usual grin was in place, the one I usually couldn’t help returning. His ruffled hair actually made him look more handsome. His eyes shone, though he looked a little tired. His clothes hung on his body the same way they always had. He stood as self-assured and confidant as always. His voice was the same…wasn’t it?
Then I saw it, the whole package; behind the tiredness was accusation, behind the smile was something almost sad, and behind the seemingly innocuous words was a hint of scorn.
Or, maybe I was just tired, hungover and annoyed about the whole Austin thing.
I scowled. “I’m sorry to hear you had to slum it overnight.”
He looked genuinely surprised at my response for a moment, then composed himself. “It was well worth it for the girl I spent it with.”
“Good for you. I hope you find yourself with some kind of horrible venereal disease.”
“What the hell is wrong with
you this morning? Austin didn’t perform last night?” I could tell what he thought of me under the assumption I’d slept with Austin.
“I beg your pardon?” I yelled.
He smirked, not one of his usual charming ones. “I’ll take that as confirmation. Odd, Oz doesn’t usually get complaints. Maybe it was you?”
Oh, I slapped him well and proper, then pointed my finger at him.
“I’ll have you know, Austin was more of a gentleman than you apparently! I fell asleep talking to Anne last night. Although, she’d tell you I passed out. Much of a muchness.”
Hunter looked suitable chastened. “Shit, Lil, I’m sorry-”
“I don’t really care,” I snapped. “I don’t know where this horrid attitude is coming from, Williams. But, I’m glad you think you can insult me when you assume I’ve done what is no different than you actually did. Nice, Williams, real nice.”
I turned and stormed off.
“Lily, wait!”
I whirled around long enough to shout back, “There is certainly no way you’ll ever be finding out how adventurous,” I winked at him, “I am in bed!” before continuing my angry exit with a touch more dignity and self-empowerment as onlookers applauded.
Chapter Forty: Austin
I sat at my desk while I waited for the teacher to arrive.
Lily sat on one side of the classroom with Anne and I sat on the other with Jax and Cassandra, though my patience with Cassandra was wearing thinner as the days passed. I didn’t know what her problem was, but she’d been making a bigger deal of Fleur coming to the New Year’s party than I was happy with.
It didn’t help that my mind was stuck on Lily and the kiss she’d given me. She’d hardly spoken to me in the two weeks since and couldn’t seem to look at me. Which only cemented in my mind that she’d been saying goodbye.
I didn’t understand it. We’d been getting closer, hadn’t we? I mean, I hadn’t been expecting her to turn around and tell me she loved me. But, I thought I was certainly heading in a more favourable direction than backwards.
When she’d done the first awkward ‘I have to go’ the day after the party, I started wondering if there was something going on with her and Williams, that she’d said goodbye to me to be with him. But, I’d been gratified to see she’d been even more distant, even angry, with him.
Speaking of Williams, he finally trudged in, late as always, and paused in front of Lily.
“I don’t want to hear it, Williams,” she said, not even looking at him.
“What the hell?” I muttered.
Cass grunted. “Is that still going on?”
“Is what still going on?”
“That lover’s tiff.”
“What lover’s tiff?” Jax joined in.
“Lily and Williams,” Cass answered.
“They were together?”
Cass shrugged. “They’re certainly fighting like it.”
“What do you mean? What happened?” I asked.
Cass looked very smug. “The day after the party, Williams called Lily a whore, and an untalented one at that.”
“What?” Jax and I both exclaimed.
As I watched Williams walk over and sit next to Cassandra, I wondered why the hell he would have been calling Lily and untalented whore… I’d heard he’d woken up in the Longbourn wing after the party, maybe he’d visited Lily after I’d left? Had he spent the night with her? Surely not…
“Hey,” Cass said, smiling at him.
He barely smiled in reply. “Hey.”
“Want to tell me what that’s about?” I asked him, leaning over Cass.
He glared at me; for the first time I could remember in all the years we’d known each other, we were actually angry with each other. “Want to tell me why she keeps staring at you when you’re not looking but barely talks to you?”
I spun around, but she was facing Anne. I turned back to Williams as Mrs Robbins finally walked in.
“Sorry I’m late, everyone.” She smiled, sounding slightly out of breath.
She kept talking as I leant over to Williams. “At least I didn’t call her a whore.”
Williams stared at me as though he didn’t believe I’d have had the gall to say something like that. If that was actually what he’d thought, maybe he hadn’t known me as well as I thought he had.
Mrs Robbins droned on about whatever text we were up to. Usually, I paid a decent amount of attention in class, especially Mrs Robbins’ classes; she was a great teacher who was really passionate about her work and her students, which made you want to learn.
Today, though, I was annoyed. I was annoyed at Williams, I was annoyed at Lily, I was annoyed with myself, I was annoyed at Cassandra, and I was a little annoyed at Jax.
Damn, I knew that wasn’t fair. Jax had done nothing. But, then, that’s part of what annoyed me. If he hadn’t just listened to everything I’d said about the Macklins and the Brewers, if he’d stood up for his feelings and his beliefs, maybe we’d both be with our girls now.
If wishes were fishes…
That was one of Amanda’s favourite sayings. God, I missed her. Thankfully, this was the last week of school before the Christmas break and Manda would actually be home when we got there. And, she was staying long enough to come to Pemberley with us.
I smiled to myself.
Actually, knowing Manda, she would be at Pemberley the day after Christmas so she had to spend the least amount of time with Aunt Celia – if we didn’t go straight to Huntsford. I was already coming up with excuses for Jax and me to leave London and stay at Pemberley with her. But, I knew we had a few engagements to deal with first.
Ugh. Engagements. Where I would have to see Fleur. And, in no uncertain terms tell her there was no way in hell I was going to marry her. I had to. I couldn’t even pretend to go on with Aunt Celia’s wacked out plans now I had an idea of what an actual, decent, exciting relationship could be like.
And, there was no way in hell I was going to have anything resembling a decent or exciting relationship with Fleur.
Maybe a mind-numbing one where I end up in jail for murdering my idiot wife…
I felt Jax nudge me.
“Austin?” I heard Mrs Robbins say.
“God, no,” I replied, then looked around. “Wait, what?”
A few people laughed and Mrs Robbins just looked at me a tad oddly.
“Are you feeling all right, Mister Cooper? You’re not usually this inattentive.”
My gaze immediately shifted to Lily. Way to be really obvious!
“I’m fine, thanks, Missus Robbins. Just a little tired. End of term and all that.”
She smiled at me, but still looked a little hesitant. “All right, then. Now, moving on…”
Jax leant towards me. “You sure you’re right? You were smiling like a nutter and not paying any attention.” Like I hadn’t realised that already.
“I was just thinking of Amanda and her penchant for Pemberley.”
Jax smiled wistfully. “They’ll be ours soon enough, mate. Something of our own that Aunt Celia can’t get her wide-reaching hands on.”
I leant back in my chair and tried to pay attention to Mrs Robbins.
Pemberley would soon be entirely mine and I was more excited than I cared to admit. I would indeed have one thing in this world that was solely mine and no one else’s. It was something I wouldn’t even have to share with my brother. Trying to keep Amanda away – if that were even close to what I wanted – would have been difficult.
Then again, having another certain girl walk Pemberley’s halls would have been even more difficult, but no less desirous.
I tried not to look at her as that thought hung around my mind.
Chapter Forty-One: Lily
I glared at Kate in the back seat, then turned back to Claire. We were waiting in the line of hundreds of cars to leave the Netherfield grounds for Christmas break.
“Dear God, you
can’t let her go.”
Claire sighed. “It’s already been booked, Lily, there’s not a lot I can do about it now.”
Gemma was busy sobbing about how it wasn’t fair that she didn’t get to go, while Kate was gloating.
“Don’t blame me if Penny Foster likes me best,” Kate said.
“Do you call all your friends by their full name, Katie, or just the rich ones?” I asked.
Kate barrelled on as if I hadn’t said anything. “Or that she wanted me to be her special friend-”
“Special’s right,” I muttered and Claire smiled at me.
“-for her visit to her grandmother’s.”
“But, I could be her special friend! Tell her, Mum!” Gemma wailed.
I sank down in my seat and tried not to listen to them. But, it was the best thing to take my mind off certain people, especially when said people smiled and waved at you as they put their things in a car next to yours. I returned the wave before I could stop myself. There wasn’t any harm in it really. I’d distanced myself well enough from the three of them that I could be sure my heart was safe, but they were still my friends…weren’t they?
“Those boys seem nice, Lil,” I heard Claire say, quietly enough not to disturb the argument in the back seat.
“The Cooper twins and Hunter Williams. They’re good boys.” When they’re not busy breaking girls’ hearts.
“Austin and Jackson? Which is which?” Claire laughed. “Can anyone tell them apart?”
“Jax is on the left, in the grey coat. Austin’s wearing...” I looked back, “ugh, leather, Oz, really?” I smiled and he shrugged as though he’d heard me.
He checked the traffic and jogged over to us. With little choice, I wound the window down and he leant on it.
“You must be Missus Brewer,” he said with a large grin, extending a hand over me, “pleasure to meet you.”
Claire shook his hand awkwardly, but smiled. “Likewise. Lily tells me you’re Austin?”
He nodded. “She is the only one who can tell us apart. Most people would have told you I was Jax.”
Netherfield Prep (Austen Reimagined: P&P #1) Page 27
