I certainly hadn’t thought he would end up giving me an orgasm or eating me out last night. That put me off-guard. In a good way of course. Hutch was different from any other guy I had met. I wanted to bring him out of his shell, help him experience things he had never done before, but that was all going to be on his terms. When he was ready.
I also wanted to be the first girl to give him a blowjob.
I smiled to myself thinking about that as I pushed the covers off to climb from the bed. Hutch liked to keep his apartment below zero, and I was freezing now that I was now longer wrapped under the blankets. I made my way toward the bathroom to shower before I had to head off to ballet practice.
The bathroom was small with just a shower stall, a sink, and toilet, but it was clean just like the rest of the apartment. I took a fast shower, washed my hair and body before I wrapped my hair up in a towel. I brushed my teeth, dried my hair off, and secured it in a tight bun for class. I lathered on some of my lotion that I liked to wear, cleaned up anything I had left behind, and as I was walking back to put on some clean clothes, Hutch was making his way back into the apartment, looking like a girl’s wet dream come true.
He must have come from a workout because he was dressed in nothing but a pair of shorts and sneakers, his muscles sweaty and exposed. I let my eyes roam over his perfectly toned body, right down to the V that pointed toward the dick he had yet to let me see before I met his brown eyes. They had a hard look about them. “Good morning.” Hutch’s voice sounded clipped.
“Good morning,” I greeted him back. “I figure by the way you’re dressed you were at the gym?” I asked.
“There’s one in my parents’ basement.” He ran his hand through his sweaty hair. “It’s not much, but it does the job.” Hutch finished off the water he held tightly in his fist. “Sleep alright?” He capped the bottle and placed it gently on the counter.
I clutched at the dirty shirt he let me sleep in last night. “Like a baby. You have the most comfortable bed in America,” I teased just to watch his ears turn pink. Cuddling up to Hutch was probably turning into one of my most favorite things, but I left that part out. He seemed a little on edge this morning, but I wasn’t sure why. “You okay?” I pushed.
“Fine,” he answered quickly. “Just need a shower.”
I nodded. “Sure, I’ll just get dressed and be on my way.” I didn’t want to upset him more than he already was. I turned to move back to where my bag was, but I felt Hutch’s hand on my elbow. When I looked up, his eyes had softened.
“Come here.” He tugged me closer until I was pressed against his chest. Hutch leaned down so that he could press his lips to mine. “Don’t think you’re leaving without me, Jills.” His voice sent shivers throughout my body.
“I wasn’t—”
He shook his head. “I’ll only be a couple of minutes,” Hutch assured me before tilting my head up with his index finger. “Coffee should be ready by now.” He dropped a kiss to my forehead before he walked to the bathroom and shut the door behind him.
I could not figure this guy out.
I knew Hutch liked me. It was obvious in the way he looked at me, kissed me, and the way he made me come last night, but this morning? He was acting super strange. I thought about this as I changed into a clean pair of purple tights, a matching leotard and skirt, before I slipped on a pair of white sneakers, making sure my ballet slippers were in my bag before I zipped it up. I carried my bag into the kitchen, placing it on the chair before my gaze moved to two travel mugs sitting on the counter. What time did Hutch get up in the morning? Did he actually sleep at night or was that an act?
I had so many things I wanted to ask him, but knew I couldn’t do that. Hutch had to be the one to tell me. It was obvious he had been hurt before. He was scared about the sex thing, but only when it came to be on the receiving end. I knew, from the rumors, that he had once been an outgoing football player, but something had happened to change him, but no one seemed to know what exactly happened. Not even Patrick had any insight on that.
“Ready?”
I jumped at the sound of Hutch’s voice, not having heard him walk in. He was already dressed in a tight-fitting white t-shirt, blue jeans, and his work boots. “That has to be the fastest shower in the world,” I commented.
“Told you I would be quick.” He opened both travel mugs and glanced over his shoulder at me.. “Do you want to take any coffee with you?”
I shook my head. “I’m good, but thank you. Coffee just makes me have to pee a lot during practice.” I moved to wrap my arms around Hutch’s waist. “You smell good.” Like soap and whatever aftershave he had put on. Heaven.
Hutch gripped both my hands in one of his. “Thanks.” He squeezed lightly before he turned around to wrap me in his arms. “I enjoyed having you here last night, Jills. Do you...do you have plans tonight?” His voice shook slightly.
I rested my chin against his chest. “Are you asking me out on a date?” I watched as Hutch’s ears turned pink. When he gave a quick nod, I stood up on my toes to kiss his chin. “Then no, I don’t have any plans,” I told him.
“I have.” Hutch stopped for a moment, his brown eyes clouding. “I have therapy after work, which is an hour, but if you want to come by around seven?” He shifted his gaze above my head.
I saw the worried look all over his face. He had told me the truth, confided in me, and now he was waiting for my response.
“Of course, that’s perfect. It gives me time to wash up after practice.” Should I even mention the therapy? Hutch’s grip tightened. “I’m not sure—”
“I go three times a week,” he whispered. “Have been for years now.”
“Hutch—”
“Let me finish.” He released me so that he could pace the floor. “It helps, I guess, sometimes or maybe not, but I felt I should tell you. I figured that I was going to tell my therapist about you today, well, I already kind of did, but...fuck.” Hutch shook his head. “I hate this.”
I did too. When I didn’t know what to say or do for him. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.” Hutch turned to look at me with uncertainty written all over his face. “I know this is hard for you, but I’m here for you, no matter what,” I assured him.
Hutch caged me in against the counter. “You’re real, right, Jills?” he whispered. “You’re not a figment of my imagination?” His hand came up to pull on my bun, causing heat to pool inside my belly.
“I assure you that I am real,” I told him again.
Hutch’s mouth came crashing down on mine, and I couldn’t help but moan when his obvious erection pressed directly against my core. I dug my nails into his arms as the kiss escalated further, and I felt the urgency behind his kisses as our tongues swirled together.
“We,” Hutch murmured, his lips not leaving mine, “need to leave.” He finally pulled back.
“Before we’re late.” His eyes were nearly as dark as the night sky as he stared down at me.
I nodded. “Don’t want to be late.” I didn’t care, but something told me that Hutch was one of those people who stuck to punctuality. I watched as he did a sweep of his apartment. Maybe to make sure everything was in its proper place, or maybe to make sure he had everything; I couldn’t be sure.
Once we were outside, Hutch locked the door behind him, and together, we walked to my ballet practice.
***
Hutch kissed me goodbye at the door to the dance studio before he walked the rest of the way to Zed’s, which was just down the street, and then I walked inside only to find myself being stared at by the rest of the girls in my class. Madison Rae was the first to speak, and I could see by the way she was smirking at me that she couldn’t wait to let her comments fly.
“So, you two are what? Dating now?” She chuckled loudly as she looked around at everyone, encouraging them to join her. “Honestly, Jill, I don’t know what you see in him.” Everyone snickered in the background.
I shoved my bag in m
y locker before I spun around. “How is this any of your business?” I eyed Madison. When she didn’t answer, I shrugged. “I see how you have nothing to add to that.” I walked past her only to have her grab my arm and spin me around. “Are you serious right now?” I exclaimed.
The rest of the girls in class were younger than Madison and myself. We were the only eighteen-year-olds, the ones that had graduated and hoping to become famous dancers if we were lucky enough, but I knew them all. Ocean View was a small town. Jessie Hanson, the blonde on Madison’s left, lived a couple houses down from me, and Marley Holly, the brunette with big boobs, across the street from Bella. Both, however, would not want to cross Madison. She was always gunning to be the queen bitch in this town.
“You fucking him yet?” Madison hissed as she pressed her fingers into my skin so tight, I knew she was drawing blood. “Tell me something, Jillian, does he make noise when he comes or does he just open his mouth in a silent scream?”
“You’re such a bitch,” I snapped at her, disgusted at the angle of her thoughts.
“Girls!” We both spun around at the sound of our teacher, Mistress Dubois, as she clapped her hands together. I felt Madison’s hand slip away from my arm. “Starting positions, please.” Her heavy French accent floated through the room as we all hurried to get to the barre as she requested.
I shot a look over to Madison as I made sure to get as far away from her as possible, but the sting of her nails in my skin throughout the day never let me forget what she had said to me. I avoided her all day, and when I met Hutch for lunch, he either didn’t see the marks, which were now scabbed over, or didn’t say anything.
He did make sure our plans were still on for dinner, and by the time I left the dance studio, I couldn’t wait to spend the evening with him and forget about everything else.
Chapter Nine
Hutch
I sat down on the oversized couch and looked around my therapist’s room. It hadn’t changed much since I had started coming here eight years ago. Same white bookshelf in the left corner, with different books, although I suspected they were switched out every couple of months, newer plant because she didn’t have much of a green thumb so they all kept dying, and a tired looking painting of fruit on the right wall. It looked like someone at least dusted and cleaned in here every week because this time the painting was not crooked like I had commented on Friday when I was here. Stuff like that bothered me with my OCD issues. There was a beat-up desk shoved in the left corner of the room that I had only seen Megan, that’s what she insisted I call her, sit at once or twice, and it was overloaded with folders, notepads, and boxes of Kleenex.
Megan was seated in middle of the room directly in front of me with her tablet, a worn-out coffee table separating us. Her hair had been a rusty orange color eight years ago, but now it had faded into a grayish white. I glanced at the window that looked toward the overgrown lawn and wished I had rescheduled. I wanted to be anywhere but here right now. I didn’t want to talk about myself today.
“So, Hutch.” I continued to stare outside as Megan spoke. “On Friday you mentioned a girl, but things hadn’t gone the way you thought.”
I nodded. “Jillian.” Just the sound of her name made everything inside my head spin around. The way her lips tasted, the way she tasted, and the way her warm body felt against mine. I glanced over at Megan to find her watching me curiously.
“That’s a pretty name.”
“She’s a pretty girl.”
Megan smiled. “Does she know about what happened to you, Hutch?” She crossed her legs and placed her tablet on the arm of her chair.
I shook my head. “No.” I dropped my gaze to my legs as the left one jumped up and down.
“You went on a date though. The carnival,” Megan went on. “You argued afterward because someone said you were too different. Have you spoken with Jillian since that night? Reached out to her at all even via text?”
“I, uh, ran into her Saturday night. We talked.”
“And?”
I could feel my neck and ears burning from embarrassment. “We kissed, held hands, and I sort of gave her an orgasm, orally.” At twenty-six, I shouldn’t be such a novice about sex, but it wasn’t really my fault that I was this way.
Megan must have picked up her tablet again because I could hear her typing. “Did she offer to return the favor?” I nodded. “Did you want her to?” she pried further.
“Of course.”
“What happened when you told her no?” she asked.
I shook my head. “I freaked out. I told her I wanted her, but I couldn’t.” I felt anger burn inside my body. “Jillian is so, fuck, she’s perfect. I started to get upset and wanted to hit something, but you know what? She said it was okay.” I met Megan’s eyes. “I feel like she can see inside me and knows me better than I know myself.”
“Maybe she does.” Megan uncrossed her legs. “You’ve talked about having sex then? She knows you’re a virgin?” When I nodded my head, she pressed her lips together. “You’re going to have to tell her the truth. If you want this relationship to work, tell her what happened to you.”
I chewed nervously on my bottom lip. “I’m afraid that she’ll push me away,” I admitted.
“Hutch,” Megan leaned forward, “what would you do if she doesn’t?”
I had absolutely no idea.
***
Hutch: Traffic is not moving.
Jillian: I think you’re trying to get out of date. Just break it to me easy, honey. You’re seeing someone else.
Hutch: What? Are you serious right now? I am sitting in the middle of I95 in wall-to-wall traffic, Jills. *Attachment loading*
Jillian: I was only kidding. When I get hungry sometimes, I say things that I don’t mean. *heart emoji* It’s called hangry. Ever heard of it?
Hutch: I am going to be much later than I had planned.
Jillian: Guess the dress I planned to wear will have to wait.
Hutch: Dress?
Jillian: Nope, you don’t get to see it now. You’re trying to weasel your way out of it. Might have to finger myself too.
Hutch: Wtf, Jillian?
Jillian: *laughing emoji*
Hutch: You’re not playing fair. Did you not see the picture I sent?
Jillian: I did. Doesn’t mean I can’t pleasure myself thinking about your giant wang.
Hutch: You haven’t even seen my dick yet.
Jillian: Imagination, honey.
I clutched the steering wheel so tight my knuckles turned white before I dropped my forehead against it. I had been sitting in this traffic for twenty minutes and it had yet to move. Now my cock was hard, my stress was at an all-time high, and Jillian was talking about touching herself while thinking about me. I straightened to text her back.
Hutch: Can’t you wait until I get there?
Jillian: You going to eat me out again?
Hutch: Yes.
Jillian: Then I can wait *water squirting emoji*
She used those emojis too much, but I kind of liked them.
Hutch: What if it’s midnight?
Jillian: Don’t care.
Hutch: Even if it’s in your bedroom with your mother in the house?
Jillian: Still don’t care.
I brought my attention back to the traffic as I moved half a millimeter, then I texted Jillian again.
Hutch: Under my mat, you will find a spare key to my place. Go, let yourself into my apartment, and wait for me.
Jillian: Are you sure?
Hutch: Would I tell you if minded? There are some peanut butter cookies in the cabinet if you get hungry.
Jillian: I’ll see you soon.
***
I was nervous when I pulled my car into the driveway at almost eleven o’clock. Jillian and I texted off and on while she told me she was watching Netflix on my television, waiting for me. When I told her I didn’t believe her, she sent me a selfie of herself, smiling, perched on my couch, followed by the open contain
er of cookies. I wished I was there, snuggled up with her. Sure, eating her pussy was what I was thinking about coming home to, but I wanted to hold her. Jillian was the sun, and I was the wilted flower that needed her light.
There wasn’t a single light on in my place as I stepped inside my apartment. I toed off my shoes, and I moved closer to my bed to find Jillian lying there in my Kenny Chesney shirt, her big green eyes watching me in the moonlight.
“Welcome home.” Her voice sent shivers up my spine and caused my cock to jump to attention. She eased her body onto her side. “Missed me as much as I missed you?” She ran her fingers over the comforter.
I nodded, afraid to speak. Jillian looked more beautiful right here, right now, than any other time I had ever seen her. I watched as she sat up and pulled her dark hair out from the bun she kept it in, causing it to tumble down around her shoulders. Fuck me.
Then she shot a blinding smile at me. “I thought about wearing that dress I told you about, but...” She stood up, causing my shirt to fall to her knees. Desire skidded through my body. No dress could make me feel the way her wearing my shirt did right now. “I figured that could wait for another time.” Jillian stood up onto her toes so easily, probably because of all her years of ballet, and hooked her arms around my neck. “You’re so fucking handsome, you know that, Hutch?”
“Shit.” My cock jerked against my jeans so painfully that I was afraid it might do permanent damage. Jillian’s lips fluttered against my jawline, causing me to groan. “Wait.” I needed to get myself together. This was too fast, too much, and if I wasn’t careful—
She took a step back as she released me. “I’m pushing you, aren’t I?” Her eyes were wide. “I’m sorry.”
“Jillian, you’re beautiful.” My hands went to my hair. “I fucking...I want you so badly. I keep imagining being buried inside you would be like being wrapped inside heaven.” I bit my lip and copper flooded my mouth.
Out of the Dark Page 7
