“I was getting a cloth to clean you up.” Hutch held out his hand. “Please.” I couldn’t see his ears in the dark apartment, but something told me they were probably bright pink.
Once I was washed up and clad in another one of Hutch’s shirts, we sat down on the couch, with the lights on and the television off, facing one another.
“You’ve changed.” I traced his palm with my finger. “I think I like this alpha male version of you,” I teased just to see him blush.
“This isn’t about me, Jills.” Hutch took his free hand and tilted my face up, this thumb dragging along my jaw. “Tell me.” His voice sounded sad. “Tell me what I did.” I saw the way his baby browns filled with tears, and I was in his lap before I could stop myself.
“It was never you, baby, I can promise you that.”
“Prove it, bean, because you made me feel like I wasn’t the man you wanted.”
I cupped his face with my hands. “You’re the only man I wanted in my life, Hutch Kelly. Always and forever. There has never been anyone after you.” I slid my lips over his.
Hutch flashed a brief smile. “Please tell me,” he begged again.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jillian
“I had plans to stay,” I admitted before I got up to sit on the couch. I held up a hand before Hutch could interrupt me. “Remember how I came back from visiting New York, meeting my roommate, and going to check out my school? How I wanted to stay here with you instead?”
Hutch nodded.
I swallowed hard as I twisted my fingers together in my lap. “Before I came here, after I got home on that Sunday, I went to the Angry Egg and applied for a waitress job.” I glanced up to find Hutch staring at me with total surprise all over his handsome face. “I...I...I had decided that I was going to stay in Ocean View with you. Work at the Egg, and hopefully, you would let me move in here with you.”
Hutch narrowed his eyes. “Jillian, what the fuck?” he snarled. It looked like the wind was completely knocked out of him.
“Let me get this all out, Hutch, or I’ll never finish.” I pinched the back of my neck. “I had it all planned until you told me I would end up hating myself or you for not following my dreams. Maybe not right away, but five or ten years down the line.” I felt tears beginning to fill my eyes, but I let them. I was an asshole for leaving him behind. A pussy for not having the guts to tell him in the first place. “Which I realized I would. I would hate myself for not at least going to New York like I had wanted since I was five years old and trying to make it.” The tears began to fall now. “I should have said goodbye, but I knew that if I waited, I would chicken out and stay here with you. I couldn’t bear to see the look on your face when I left. I couldn’t deal with saying goodbye to you. I thought that it would be easier.” My voice cracked. “I hated it. I hated living there, but at that point?” I sobbed. “I was there. I had left you, and I had nothing. I wanted to come home, but what was I going to say?” I buried my face in my hands as my body shook angrily.
Hutch moved closer so that he could pull me against him. He didn’t say a word as I cried; he just held me until everything was out, and I felt like I had nothing left in me. When I was done, he smoothed the wetness from my cheeks and stared into my eyes. “I wish you would have told me, Jills.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “If you had just...” He shook his head. “You’re here now though,” he whispered.
“You still want me? Why?” I dared asked.
“I will always want you.”
Another sob threatened to escape my chest. “I hate it there so much, Hutch. I’m a great dancer here, but just an okay dancer in New York. I’m so fucking tired all the time and—” His lips descended on mine before I could finish my sentence.
“Stay here. With me,” he murmured. “Get a job at the Egg.” A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. God, he was so fucking handsome.
“You’re with Madison.”
His nostrils flared. “I’m not with Madison. Not the way you think,” he told me. “We have a daughter who I love with all my heart, but that’s all we share.” Sincerity shone from his eyes. “I never stopped loving you, Jillian.” His lips brushed mine before he pulled back. “You could buy the ballet studio. It’s for sale.”
“What?” I blinked at him.
“Yeah, I saw the other day that there was a For Sale sign on it. You could teach ballet to the kids in Ocean View. We could get married, start a family, and have a life together here.”
“You...you want to marry me?”
Hutch dragged his thumb along my bottom lip. “You find that so hard to believe, beautiful girl?” God, he had changed so much since I last saw him. Or maybe, this was the Hutch he had always been.
“You’re different,” I whispered, reaching up to touch the light-colored scruff that covered his jaw.
A smile appeared on Hutch’s face. “Therapy,” he answered, like that was the answer to everything. “I’m not different, Jilly, I’m me.” He kissed the tip of my nose lightly. “I love you.” He grabbed my waist and lifted me up onto his lap. “First thing on my to-do list,” he murmured as he dropped little kisses against my mouth, chin, and neck. “I want to get some meat on these bones.”
I moaned softly as he licked along my collarbone. Hutch’s touch had always been gentle, but now it felt a little more dangerous. A little more feral. “Then what?” I sighed softly.
“What do you want?” Hutch stopped to cup my face with his big, calloused hands.
“You.” Not that he ever doubted that, but I wanted him to know that now. More than ever, I wanted Hutch. “Make love to me.” I lifted my hips so he could pull down his boxers. My panties were still in a crumpled heap on the floor. “Right here, right now.”
His darkened gaze was enough to tell me he’ll devour me. “Your wish is my command.”
***
I forgot how much I loved Hutch’s bed. It was so soft and comfortable. Not to mention he was lying next to me with his arms wrapped tightly around my body like he was afraid I would disappear again. Not that I blamed the man. He not only made love to me like I had requested last night, but then he proceeded to eat me out until I screamed his name, afterward fucking me again right here in this bed. God, I missed him.
He stirred next to me, his face still buried in my neck as he started to wake up. “Good morning.” He gave me a sleepy smile and ran his hand through his messy blond hair. “Fuck, you’re really here,” he whispered.
“I am.” I caught my phone lighting up out of the corner of my eye as it sat on the table, but I ignored it. I just wanted to stay here all day, but I knew that was impossible. “Feels like a dream though,” I admitted.
Hutch tilted his head. “How so?” He moved his hand up to my head. “You miss me that much, bean?” He grinned as he started to drag the blanket down. “Wait, do you have a tattoo? When did you get that?” His finger traced the small, pink ballet slipper on my hip. “Sexy,” he whistled.
I pretended to slap his hand away. “I got it last year with Madison. My roommate. We’re actually like besties.” I giggled as his fingers tickled my ribs.
“So I was right?”
“Smart man.”
Hutch dropped wet kisses all over my stomach. “You really hate it there, huh?” He dragged his gaze up to mine. “You don’t really like to talk much about it.” He glanced over where my phone sat. “Someone is really trying to get your attention this morning.”
I twisted around to grab my phone. “For someone who said they weren’t going to be bridezilla...shit.” I sat up to unlock my phone to reveal dozens of texts from Jo.
“Everything okay?” Hutch asked. “You look upset.”
Jo: Where are you?
Jo: The wedding is off!
Jo: I need you!
Jo: I’m serious, Jill!
Jo: Pat cheated on me!
I glanced back at Hutch. “I have to go.” I flung the rest of the covers off to jump from the bed. “Somethin
g happened last night.” I found my bra and my ruined panties in the living room where Hutch had left them.
“I guess so.” Hutch had his phone in his hand. “What an idiot,” he groaned as he shook his head. “Damn it, Patrick.” He began to shove his jeans on. “I guess I need to go talk to my brother.” He met my gaze just as the front door flew open to reveal Madison.
“Is this why you didn’t come home last night?” she exclaimed. “I thought you were done with her, Hutch?”
I found my pants, pulled them on—sans underwear—and quickly yanked my shirt on. “I’ll let you deal with this.” I had my sister who needed my help right now.
“Deal with?” Madison roared as she turned to me.
“Mads, don’t,” Hutch warned.
Madison shook her head. “You can’t have us both, Hutch, that’s not how this is going to work.” She stuck out her left hand. “Did he bother to tell you we got married yesterday?” It was like a kick to the stomach when I saw the gold band wrapped around her finger. “I didn’t think so.” Madison dropped her hand. “Nothing fancy; I’m afraid. Just down to the courthouse, but it’s official. I’m Mrs. Hutch Kelly, and you’re not.”
Everything Hutch had said to me last night was a lie. Was that his way of getting revenge? “I have to go,” I muttered before I shot out the front door with my shoes in my right hand and hurried down the steps, trying to keep myself from exploding into tears.
Hutch was married.
Not just married; Hutch was married to Madison Rae.
Jo was sitting on the front porch as I made my way across the street. I tried not to let my feelings show as I dropped onto the steps next to her and pulled her into my arms. Now it was my turn to comfort my sister after she had helped me so many times before.
“I didn’t think he would actually go through with it.” She sobbed into my chest.
Wait a second. I pulled back to look at Jo. “What does that mean?” I searched her face. “Back up and tell me the entire story.”
Jo pressed her lips together as she sat up. “Okay, so we always had this agreement.” She squared her shoulders.
“What kind of an agreement?”
“Pat and I had never been with anyone else. I mean I lost my V-card to him, and he lost his to me. We both knew that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with one another—”
I jumped to my feet. “Are you telling me that you told Pat he could fuck around last night?” I was so not emotionally stable to handle this right now. I had my own shit that I was going through.
“No, well, kind of.” Jo’s eyes filled with tears again, and I dropped down next to her.
“Wait, did you come from Hutch’s place?” She let her gaze roam over me. “Did you sleep with him?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Not the topic at hand,” I reminded her. “Back to you and Pat.” I felt my throat close up when I remembered the fact that Hutch was now married to Madison. “Fuck,” I whispered as tears burned my eyes.
“Holy shit, you did.” Jo touched my arm. “Sweetie, maybe you need to talk to me instead?” Her brows furrowed together.
“You have two seconds to tell me what happened with Patrick before I go inside,” I hissed.
Jo held up her hands. “Fine, fine. He just got a blowie from a stripper.” She rolled her eyes. “I might have blown it out of proportion. The wedding is not off.” She shrugged her shoulders.
I closed my eyes, trying not to freak out on my sister. “I’m going to go inside, take a shower, and wash last night off my body,” I said calmly.
“Can I ask you another question?”
“Fine.”
“Why is Madison coming over here?” My eyes flew open to see Madison marching up the front walk like a woman on a mission. Probably to sever my head off and hang it on her wall so she could stare at her every morning to remind herself she won.
Jo and I both stood up before she even made it to the steps. “That’s far enough,” I grunted and folded my arms across my chest. “You won, you got Hutch. Happy?” I watched her nostrils flare.
“No, bitch, I’m not. Are you clean?” Madison seethed, and I heard Jo gasp next to me. “I know that Hutch only goes bareback so I hope you don’t have any STDs from the guys you slept with in New York.” I was going to smack her into next year, but before I had a chance, Jo stepped forward.
She slapped Madison right across the face. “How dare you!” she cried. “You come here, to our house, and accuse my sister of carrying a disease when Jillian is the one that should be running down to the clinic after sleeping with Hutch. You’re a whore, Mads, and you’re always going to be. Doesn’t matter if you end up with him, doesn’t matter if you don’t. You’ve never been equal to us.” She watched the expression on Madison’s face change from shock, to angry, to glee.
“Jilly, you didn’t tell her?” She smirked. “I won, Jo, fair and square. So, yes, I might be a whore, but I’m Hutch’s whore wife.” She waved her hand in the air. The one with her damn wedding band on it.
I grabbed my sister before she could jump onto Madison. “Leave,” I growled. “Now, Madison, before I let her go, and trust me, she’ll do much worse than just slap you this time.” I turned away as Madison turned and walked back toward Hutch’s apartment.
“Jesus.” Jo sighed. “So, that’s it, huh?” She hugged me.
I hugged her back. “That’s it,” I whispered.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Hutch
Marrying Madison had been a spur of the moment idea. It had been something I had suggested because I was furious with Jillian for not talking to me, for showing up at Patrick’s party with fucking Knox, and I wanted to prove once and for all that I was over her. I knew it was a lie. Fuck, the entire town of Ocean View knew it was a lie. I felt like the world’s biggest asshole. Jillian finally told me the truth, spilled her guts out, told me she loved me, and then Madison had come crashing through everything to ruin any chance at a future we might have together.
“You in here?” Patrick’s voice carried through my open screen door. “I can see you, so don’t try and pretend you’re not.” The sound of the door slapping shut behind him had me sitting up. I had managed to shower, put on clean jeans and a shirt, but that was about it before I dropped onto my bed. “Jesus, you look like shit,” he commented.
I flipped him the bird. “If you’re here to give me hell, I don’t want to hear it.” I swung my legs over the side of my bed.
“For?” Pat tilted his head.
Did he not know? “Why are you here?” I tried to change the subject, but I could already tell by the look in my brother’s eyes he wasn’t having it.
“What’s your deal?” He glanced around my small apartment. “You don’t even live here anymore—You fucked her!” Pat exclaimed before he slapped me on the back.
I grunted, “Don’t talk about Jillian like that. Remember what happened the last time, Pat? She’s your soon to be your sister-in-law,” I reminded him.
He chuckled. “You’re not denying it.” Pat dropped onto my couch making himself comfortable. “Hey, I got a blowjob from one of the strippers last night.” He puffed out his chest as if it was something to be proud of. “Which you would have known if you hadn’t left my bachelor party early.”
“I got your text.”
“Bet your night was better.”
“Not talking about my sex life with you.” Christ, that was more than I wanted to share with him.
“Ha! So you did sleep with Jillian?” Pat grinned. “Are you two back together? You can ditch Mads now?” He lifted his right leg to rest his foot on his knee. “Because honestly, she’s a drag, dude. Jo hates her, and I’m not really fond of her myself. She was always hanging off me when we hung out even though she knew I was with Jo. Pretty sure she slept with Knox while he was still dating Jillian and that’s why they broke up.” He stopped to stare at me.
I ran my hand through my hair yanking on the ends. “Thirsty? I have water,” I mumbled, m
aking my way to the kitchen to pull out two cold bottles from the fridge. I handed Pat one as I sat down next to him.
Pat narrowed his eyes at me. “I thought you would be doing cartwheels or something. You’ve been pretty hung up about Jillian for years. You love her, right?” When I nodded, he opened his bottle to take a swig. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“I fucked up,” I answered.
“How bad?”
I let out a loud sigh. “Really fucking bad.” I dropped my eyes down to the floor. “I married Madison yesterday,” I confessed.
Patrick shot up so fast I expected him to trip over the coffee table. “Wait, you did what?” he exclaimed. “You just told me you loved Jillian, bro, how can you go and marry that sea creature?” His eyes were wide when I looked back up.
“She’s not that bad.” She was pretty, but not nearly as beautiful as Jillian.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“You can leave if you’re going to act like an asshole.” I pointed toward the door and for a second, I thought Pat was going to do just that, but instead, he sat back down. “What?” I asked as my brother stared at me.
Pat shook his head. “I don’t know what to say.”
I snorted. “That makes two of us.” I leaned back against the couch. “I love Jillian. With all my heart and soul. She is it for me, man, but—”
“She left,” Pat finished my sentence. “I know. I saw what happened when Jill was in your life. You became my brother again. The Hutch you were before...then when she left?” He shrugged as he took another swig of his water. “You lost your ever-loving mind on us.” Pat glanced up at the ceiling. “You have to get rid of the trash.”
“Watch it. Mads is the mother of my daughter,” I growled.
“Jo slapped her this morning.”
Water nearly sprang from my nostrils and it took a good sixty seconds to gather myself together. “That must have been something to see.” I chuckled. “How exactly did that go down?” I asked.
Out of the Dark Page 17
