by Cara Wylde
“Since you left, I need a drink from time to time, so…” She shrugged as she poured two fingers of gin in both glasses. She pushed one over the desk toward me and took a sip of hers.
“Mom, I’m not drinking with you.”
She smiled bitterly. “You’re still calling me Mom.”
“Should I not?”
“No, no… you should. I raised you, after all.”
“You did.”
“Katia gave birth to you, but I raised you. And I did my best, please believe me. I’m sorry about your father. Stepan is… a difficult man.”
“Well, that’s one way of putting it,” I huffed.
She shot me a pained glance. “Stepan and Katia… They weren’t on good terms.”
I leaned over the table. The smell of gin entered my nostrils, and despite myself, I grabbed the glass and took a sip. Not bad.
“They were together for a while, both so poor they didn’t have a thing to eat most days. He did odd jobs here and there, she started working herself… but he didn’t agree with her… mmm… line of work. They broke up.”
“What was her line of work?”
My mom shrugged and took another sip of her drink. She was trying to dodge the question, and for once, I couldn’t blame her for it.
“She was selling her body,” I said in a stern voice.
Her eyes bore into mine. “How did you know?”
“I have my ways. So, they broke up. What then? Where are you in this story?”
“I was her friend. Before… you know. Before she started working. I knew her since we were ten, going to the same school. She dropped school after a few years, though. She used to disappear for days. I didn’t know much about her, just that her mother was ill, and she was her only caregiver. My parents would sometimes give me food for her, but when her mother died, she vanished for a year, then came back to ask me for money. I helped her, of course. She was an orphan now. That was when I met Stepan, her boyfriend. They were both renting a room in a rundown house on the outskirts, but they were barely surviving. I helped them for a while, but I couldn’t do much for them. It wasn’t like my own family was rich. Then she vanished again, and I found out months later what she’d started doing. From Stepan.”
“So, you stole her boyfriend or what?”
“I didn’t steal anyone. They were separated. He wanted nothing to do with her. After she’d left, he’d gotten a job at a factory, and he was doing better. Katia… had made her own choices. She was barely seventeen… I admit now, we judged her too harshly then. I judged her too harshly. All I could see was Stepan and how she’d broken his trust and his heart.”
“And you thought you could mend his heart.”
She smiled. “You’re judging me harshly now.”
“I’m not. I’m just stating some facts.” She nodded but didn’t say anything. “Where do I come into this picture. Or… when?”
“Years after. Stepan and I were married, and we were planning to move to the US. We’d worked hard to save enough money. She just appeared out of nowhere, at our door, with a baby in her arms. She said she needed me to take her. Take you. She had no one else she could trust, and she said it would only be for a while, until she got back on her feet. Stepan wanted to hear nothing of it. But I couldn’t turn her down. She said… no more than a month. Two, at the most. Until she managed to get some money and rent a better place. She couldn’t keep you, a mere baby, in the same room where she…” Her voice cracked.
“Worked,” I finished her sentence.
“I’m sorry, Mila. You were never supposed to hear this. I never wanted you to find out about your mother and what she… did. She didn’t come back for you after a month, and she didn’t come back after two months, either. We kept waiting, Stepan and I. Three, four, five months. A year passed, and there was no word from Katia. We went to the police. We just wanted to track her down. They looked for her for half a year, maybe, and then they gave up. She was nowhere to be found. It was as if she hadn’t existed in the first place. Completely vanished. And Stepan and I had to leave. We couldn’t wait any longer. What were we supposed to do? Abandon you? Take you to a children’s home and leave you there? We adopted you and made a promise to each other that we’d never tell you about Katia. There was no point. Just pain, shame, and disappointment. We didn’t even know who your father was. Stepan thought it must have been one of her clients. We gave you our name, took you to the US with us, and raised you as our own. Later, I found out I couldn’t have children. So, in the end, you proved to be a blessing.”
We were silent for a while. I finished my gin, and when she tried to pour me some more, I refused, covering my glass with my hand.
“So, she’s dead.”
My mom shook her head. She sighed as if she was in pain and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I don’t know. All I know is that she never came back, and the police never found her. Dead or alive.”
I nodded. “What was her name? Her surname.”
“Katerina Angelov.”
“Angelov. Mila Angelov.”
My mom smiled. “Not half bad.”
I wasn’t going to tell her that Headmaster Colin had started calling me Mila Morningstar since the day I found out who my real parents were. GC and Paz were doing the same when they wanted to piss me off. If she didn’t know who my father was, then that was a good thing. But did she… Impossible. Still… Dad did tear my letter to pieces.
“Mom, I want you to promise me something.”
“Anything, baby.”
“No more lies. From now on, only the truth. I need to know I can trust you.”
She reached over the table and took my hands into hers. “I promise, baby.”
“Okay, because I’m going to tell you something, and then I’m going to ask you something. And it’s important that you don’t lie to me now.” She simply looked at me, her eyes as big as saucers. Okay, maybe I was exaggerating a bit, but I needed her to understand how serious the situation was. “When I left a year ago, I went to Grim Reaper Academy. I accepted their invitation to apply, and I got in. I study there now.”
She furrowed her thin, overly plucked brows. “Grim Reaper Academy? Oh! I remember the letter… But I thought… I thought that was a prank. What even is Grim Reaper Academy? It can’t be a real school.”
I studied her closely. “You’re telling me that you know nothing about the place?”
She blinked. “Baby, I promise you, I know nothing about it. When you got that letter, that was the first time I heard of it, and I thought it was a stupid joke. You thought the same, remember?”
“But Dad… He took the letter from me and tore it to pieces. Why would he do that? If you don’t know anything, then he does.”
She shrugged. “You know most of his outbursts make no sense.”
“This one does.” I jumped to my feet and grabbed my backpack. “He knows something. He wouldn’t have snapped like that because of a joke that didn’t even concern him. Come on, we’re going home. I need to talk to him.”
She stood up slowly. “Baby, are you sure?”
“What do you mean?” I was already across the room, my hand on the doorknob.
“I want you to come back home. I do. But you’re angry now, and if you confront him…”
“I’m not afraid of him.”
She smiled. “My baby, you changed so much…”
“You are, though.” My voice cracked a bit. I turned to her and squeezed her arm lightly. “Mom, why did you stay with him? After all he did… to me, to you. You should have left him a long time ago.”
“Baby, you know I can’t. What kind of woman leaves her husband?”
“Her abusive husband?” That came out louder than intended. “A sane woman!”
She shook her head. I took her hand and pulled her toward the door.
“I’m not afraid of him, and you shouldn’t be, either. Because I’ll make sure he never touches you again
.”
CHAPTER TWO
We found Dad in front of the TV, as usual. One year away, and nothing had changed. Empty beer bottles strewn everywhere on the floor, an unfinished roast chicken on the table, among breadcrumbs and empty wrappers. Without a word, Mom started cleaning, not before making sure Dad had a new, cold beer in hand to appease him as I stood before him, blocking the TV.
“You’re back,” he said in a flat, unimpressed tone. “And you’re interrupting my game.”
I rolled my eyes and hit the on/off button on the TV. It was one of the old models that still had an on/off button. He huffed and leaned back in his armchair. He didn’t appreciate my attitude, but he was too shocked by my sudden appearance – even if he tried to hide it – to react violently.
“We need to talk.”
“We do? What the hell would we have to talk about? Look, kid, it’s a good thing you came to visit your mom. She’s been crazy since you left. I told her you’re not worth crying over, but does she ever listen?” He shook his head, as if he’d done his best here, he’d been a saint, and Mom was just so ungrateful. “So, go have lunch with her or whatever, then get the fuck out of my house. This year you’ve been gone…” He let out a full, hearty belly laugh. “It’s been great! So, how about you don’t ruin it for me, huh? I’ll make you a bargain, even. You can visit once a year, talk to your mom, but then you’re gone. You don’t live here anymore, brat. And even though she insisted we keep your room intact, you don’t have a place under my roof any longer. You’re on your own. As you should be.” He took a swig of his beer.
I was disgusted. He’d gained weight since I’d last seen him. Too much beer, bread, and steak. He smelled of sweat and alcohol, and I wondered when he’d last showered. He hadn’t changed, but I had. His words didn’t hurt me anymore. For one, I’d gone through much worse at the Academy, had barely survived year one, and there were still at least two people who wanted me dead. I’d dealt with a mage, an archangel, and a tentacled fucking monster. Stepan Lazarov couldn’t have scared me now even if he launched his fat ass at me and tried to hit me. Which he’d done in the past, and I’d been weak then. Not anymore. And two, he wasn’t my biological father. And that knowledge changed everything. He could say whatever the fuck he wanted. I didn’t care.
“Grim Reaper Academy. What do you know about it?”
He was silent for a second, and if I didn’t know him better, he looked like he was considering my words carefully. But I knew him better. He laughed.
“Grim Reaper what?”
“The letter I received last year, on my birthday. You remember it, don’t you? I read it out loud, in the kitchen. It was an invitation to apply to Grim Reaper Academy, and the second I finished reading it, you took it from me and tore it to pieces.”
He cocked an eyebrow, thought for another second, took a swig of beer. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. What the fuck is a Grim Reaper Academy, anyway? What do they teach there? How to kill people? Is it like… a school for assassins?” He laughed harder. “Ilena, see what books do to people?” He yelled after my mom, who was in the kitchen. “Work more, read less,” he turned back to me.
Mom appeared in the doorway. She watched us fearfully as she dried a freshly washed plate with a towel.
“Your beloved daughter here is going on about some academy for assassins. Meh. Too many fantasy books.” He reached for the remote control, which he probably knew wouldn’t help because I’d turned the TV off from the button. “Now, move.”
“I know you remember.” I stepped closer to him, fixing him with a hateful gaze. God, I really did hate this man! “You tore that letter to tiny pieces, told me to forget about it, and sent me to my room. You told me that I never received anything. Why would you do that? Unless you knew something about it. Unless you know, right now, even as you’re lying to me, about the Academy, about what it is, about who I am.”
He clenched his jaw. Slowly, he set his beer down and stood up. He rounded the table and leaned in to hiss in my face. Fuck, his breath smelled like a dumpster!
“And who do you think you are?”
I stood my ground. One year ago, I would have cast my eyes down, slouched my shoulders, apologized profusely, and gone to my room, hoping he wouldn’t take revenge on my mom for my disrespectful behavior. But I wasn’t that person anymore. I wasn’t Mila Lazarov. I was Mila Morningstar, and that had to mean something. I had to make it mean something. Although I was pretty sure I was going to take my mother’s name sooner or later.
“I know I’m not your daughter. I know you and Mom adopted me in Bulgaria when my real mother disappeared. Her name was Katia.”
He was taken aback. He retreated a few steps, hit the coffee table with the back of his knees, and almost lost his balance. He recovered quickly and plastered that smirk of his – which I’d come to hate – on his lips.
“Is that so? And who told you?” He turned to my mom. “You told her, woman?” But she shook her head, and he looked back at me. “So what? Now you know. Good for you. Now you know you don’t belong here. You never belonged with us. You leeched off us like the parasite that you are…” He spread his arms. “But I’m a good man. I have a big heart. I took you in, fed you, clothed you, sent you to school. You should be thanking me, you ungrateful brat!”
“Why do you hate me so much? What have I ever done to you?”
He pointed his finger at my face. “You exist.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I exist. I remind you of her, don’t I? What? Do I have her eyes? Her hair? I remind you of her and how she left you.”
He cursed in Bulgarian and spat on the floor, then turned on his heels and stormed out of the house. That was so like him.
“Now you’ve done it, baby,” Mom said with tears in her eyes. “Why do you have to be so direct? So harsh?”
“No more lies.” I walked to her and wiped her tears with the hem of my wristband. “He can’t blame it on you anymore. I’m not your daughter, so it’s not your fault.”
“Do you think that’s why he blamed everything on me? No! Because I was the one who wanted to adopt you. I was the one who wouldn’t let you go. After you leave, he’ll… he’ll…” She started crying harder.
“Shh… Mom. Mom! I’m not leaving. There’s one week left before school starts. I’m staying here.”
“But he said…”
“I don’t care what he said. He knows about Grim Reaper Academy. He’s a piss-poor liar, and I’m not leaving until I get the truth out of him.
But I was wrong. I stayed the week and didn’t accomplish a thing. When he realized I wasn’t going away this time just because he’d said so, he made a habit of getting out of the house early in the morning and disappearing until late at night. I had no idea where he went. Some rundown bar, most likely. All I knew was that it was the first time in my life – and his – when he was the one staying out of my way. Why? It was so unlike him. Which made me wonder… What else had I been wrong about?
At least, my mother could take a break. I’d never seen her so happy and relaxed as I saw her that week, when we were just the two of us all day. We went grocery shopping, stopped by the diner a few times a day to make sure everything worked smoothly, and she didn’t even care that the new girl was making mistake after mistake. It didn’t matter, because we were together, and my dad was, for once, minding his own damn business. We had our coffee in the morning, in peace and quiet, and I told her about Grim Reaper Academy and what I studied there. I told her about the ocean, the woods, the luxurious dorms, the teachers… and I may have slipped a thing or two about GC and Paz, although I avoided mentioning one was a false god and the other was a demon. It was hard for her to grasp there were supernatural people in this world, and while she accepted the fact, she avoided talking about it. I could tell she didn’t want details. It was easier for her to stick to her world view and think the students and professors at the Academy were normal people, like me an
d her. There was a certain feeling of safety that came with the notion, and she wasn’t yet ready to give that up.
There were things I didn’t tell her, though. I didn’t tell her about the bullying. I never mentioned Sariel’s or Lorna’s names. Not even Francis’s. I didn’t tell her about the Great Old One sleeping under the school, deep in the ground. I didn’t tell her I’d almost died at least two times. I was still here, and that was all that mattered. And I didn’t tell her about Valentine Morningstar. Most days, I didn’t want to believe I was his daughter myself. Most days, I hoped that if I stopped thinking about it, stopped acknowledging it, then it would simply stop being true. I knew it was silly. I didn’t tell her about the prophecy, either, but I did tell her about Patty, my best friend, and about Klaus. She felt better about me leaving again for a year knowing that I had friends where I was going.
Dad wasn’t there the morning I left for Salem, Massachusetts. By then, I knew he was hiding something. How would he know about Grim Reaper Academy, he, a human, an ordinary man who’d never had a brush with the supernatural? Or maybe, that was where I was wrong. No matter. I would be back one day, and he wouldn’t be able to avoid me then. I’d make sure of it. For now, I considered the fact that he’d stayed away from home for a week my first victory against him. And victory tasted sweet. Especially when the prize was seeing my mom smiling, going on about little nothings, and giggling at her own bad jokes.
We said our goodbyes, and I walked to the train station. I needed to burn the two pounds of fat my mom’s hearty meals had put on my hips and thighs.
“See you two blockheads tonight?” I group texted GC and Paz.
“You took forever!” Pazuzu whined. “We’ve been here for three days!”
“School 2morrow no time for shit,” GC explained in his unique writing system.
