Stella's Secrets

by Menaka Ravikumar

  It was in the corner, a few feet away from me, right in the middle of two sets of lockers. I took a cautious step forward.

  “Savannah?” My voice echoed through the hallway.

  “Stella? What are you doing?” I turned around to see Max, looking at me with concern.

  “Sorry. I, um… I thought I saw Savannah, Max.” I blurted.

  Max put an arm around my waist.

  “I think you’ve had too much punch. C’mon, let’s go home.”

  X-X-X-X-X

  Originally the plan was to have a sleepover with ALL of our best friends after the whole dance ended, but Max and I were both tired, so I decided to stay at his place. I was still a bit shaken up from seeing Savannah when we finally arrived at Max’s house.

  “You’re sure it’s ok for me to stay over?” I asked as Max unlocked the front door.

  “It’s fine. Mom and Caitlin went to the city to spend the night. We have the house to ourselves.” He flashed me a crooked smile before pushing the door open. Though it was freezing outside and we had to wear jackets, it was warm and toasty inside. I pulled off my Burberry trench coat and took out my phone from the inner pocket.

  Max disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a glass of water. He handed it to me and I gratefully emptied it. Then we went upstairs, to his room. I hadn’t brought a change of clothes with me, so I raided Max’s cupboard, then went to the bathroom to change. I washed my face and looked at the girl in the mirror. She looked extremely pale without makeup, her blue eyes tired.

  I can’t believe that’s me. I sighed, and turned away before stripping. I was pulling the t-shirt over my head when I noticed a scar on my left shoulder, one that I always thought I got from a bike accident or something. She has a few marks on her left shoulder. When I looked closely I realized that Mr L was right. Except, I had only one scar, not ‘a few marks’ as he had said. The realization that somebody had done something to me that I didn’t even remember happening hit me like a brick. I felt my legs get wobbly, and I slowly collapsed in a heap on the floor, dry heaving.

  I pressed my fingers to my temples, rubbing slowly to stop the growing pain. “Stella? You okay?” Max’s voice called a few seconds later. You can’t be afraid of what you can’t remember. You don’t remember anything. It doesn’t make sense to be scared. I told myself.

  “Yeah.” I pushed myself off the floor and put on Max’s t-shirt and boxers. Take deep breaths. I told myself, and I pulled my hair into a low ponytail and stepped out. “Hey, you take really long to change - Have you been crying?” I avoided his eyes and shook my head. Max cupped my face in his hands and forced me to look at him.

  “C’mon kiddo. Tell me what’s wrong.” He coaxed. I pressed my hand over one of his and forced myself to smile. “I’m fine.” He hesitated for a moment, gazing at me, before leaning in. As soon as his lips touched mine we were in sync. At first it was a soft, slow kiss, but very soon the kiss turned heated.

  Then Max walked backwards, lips never leaving mine even as he swiftly placed me on the bed. We were a tangled up bundle of limbs, hands moving everywhere, never getting enough of each other. Max pulled me onto his lap so I was sitting sideways, my legs hanging out on one side. and I tugged him closer as we went back to kissing.

  Want. Want. Want. For a moment I forgot everything I was going through. But it was still there as I kissed Max, in the back of my mind, where I was forcing it to stay so I could try to be happy. Try to act like I was ok.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him really close So close that I could feel his heartbeat. He pulled off my rubber band, and my hair fell on my shoulders.

  I fell back on the bed. I could feel the mattress sink in with my weight. All I wanted was Max. I wanted him desperately, no, I needed him.

  More. I want more.

  X-X-X-X-X

  When I woke up the next morning and found Max’s arm around my waist, I smiled. I slowly turned to face his sleeping face. He looked so beautiful, so calm, a small smile on his lips. His eyes flickered right before his blue orbs gazed at me, and he spoke.

  “Hey. Sleep well?”

  I smiled in reply. Nothing was as beautiful as hearing Max’s husky, sleepy voice right after he woke up. Both of us just lay in bed for a while, talking about random stuff before going downstairs for breakfast. We had stayed up till almost one in the morning after making out for a little while, and ended up watching a movie before finally going to bed.

  “Aren’t Cait and your mom supposed to be back by now?” I asked as I sat down at the breakfast counter while Max pulled out a frying pan.

  “Yeah. Cait went for a sleepover, but mom only went for dinner with some clients, so she should be back by now. I’ll just give her a call.”

  After serving up strawberry pop tarts and scrambled eggs on toast Max used the cordless phone to call his mom.

  “It’s going to voicemail.” He groaned a few minutes later, frowning in frustration. I chewed a piece of my egg and swallowed.

  “Maybe she decided to stay the night or something.” I gave Max’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

  “Don’t worry., ok? They’ll be back.”

  X-X-X-X-X

  When I went home and managed to get to my room without any interrogation from mom and dad, I took out Mr L’s journal. I didn’t have anything to do for school except one English assignment, so I sat cross-legged on my bed and started reading.

  Half-way through the entries stopped abruptly, and then started again, though it was in someone else’s handwriting. Savannah’s. I read the first entry that was in her handwriting. There was no date, but I read it anyway.

  ‘Dig. Dig. Deep.

  Past the corpse,

  past the memories.

  You’ll find what you need.

  I re-read the entry again. I placed the journal down and closed my eyes. Savannah had left me a clue. That was it. I had to find her grave. I hadn’t visited the graveyard after Savannah’s burial. It was too hard for me.

  But I was going to take a risk this time. I thumbed through the journal, but there wasn’t anything else. With a sigh I got up and put on my Nike sneakers, put my phone in a small Capresse shoulder bag, and went downstairs.

  The house was silent, so I guessed that my parents had gone out to get lunch. I winced when the floorboards creaked beneath my feet. Wow. This house is old. I closed the front door behind me and pulled my jeep’s door open.

  The engine came to life within seconds, and then I was off.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Secrets near the grave

  I have always found graveyards scary. Day time or night. But somehow, when I pushed the gate open and stepped into the only graveyard in Glenville, I wasn’t scared. Savannah had been buried in the last few rows of graves, so I walked over. I noticed a piece of paper stuck on the headstone.

  I reached over and took it off. It was a printed message:

  ‘Task 2: Naughty, naughty

  girl. I wish you hadn’t

  delayed my plan. Dig next

  to the headstone, and

  you will find answers.

  -Anonymous’

  I knelt down next to Savannah’s headstone, looking for something to dig with. There were tons of twigs and small tree branches, but I spotted a cart with a pile of leaves and a shovel on it. I took the shovel, and without a second thought I started digging. Minutes later I hit something hard. I let out a puff of relief before dropping the shovel and reaching down to rub off the dirt from the hard surface.

  After that I lifted the box up with both hands gripping the edges on either sides. I had to lie flat on my stomach to reach into the pit, so when I pulled the box up my whole chest was muddy. I cursed under my breath. At least I had found the box. I decided to open it in the car. It was broad daylight, after all, so I couldn’t risk getting caught.

/>   I shovelled the dirt back into the pit and flattened it out before going to my car, box in hand. Closing the door to the driver’s seat, I placed the box on my lap and looked down at it. I lifted the lid. I picked up the first photo, placed right on top of the box, and turned it around. There was a picture of a small girl, lying on a hospital bed.

  Tubes were attached to her arm, and she was sleeping, her golden blonde hair spread out on the pillow. There were visible scratches on her legs, which I could see because her hospital gown only reached past her knees. It took me a moment to recognize who the girl was before I felt my vision becoming blurry- It was me, as a seven year old.

  “Oh my God… Oh my God!” My breath caught in my throat, and all of a sudden I couldn’t breathe. Deep breaths. Take deep breaths. I squeezed my eyes shut, and the memory hit me in a flash.

  ”Stella, honey, you need to tell Mr L what happened to you, ok?” Mom said. I shook my head.

  ”H-He t-told me not to tell. H-he said he-he would c-come b-b-back to hurt me…”

  My eyelids flew open. I dropped the picture. Deep breaths, Stel. Deep breaths. I counted slowly to ten, then braced myself before picking up the next picture. It was a close-up of my small face. My left eye was swollen and purple, my lower lip was cut and bleeding. There were a lot more pictures of my legs and hands, full of bruises.

  The bruises are all visible. But the last few pictures were different. They weren’t of me, they were of Savannah. I gasped, one hand clamping over my mouth. So she had been hurt too. Oh, Anna. Why didn’t you tell me?

  Hot tears blurred my vision, and soon they fell freely. I squeezed my eyes shut, my sobs coming out in whimpers. Anna looked about eight years old in the pictures, though her injuries looked worse than mine.

  There were burn marks on her legs, and one picture showed her bruised, bloodied hands. I wiped my tears away, put the pictures next to me, on the passengers seat, and shifted through the rest of the box. Who could have possibly done this to us? And was it the same person?

  I sighed. Maybe Samira knows. The thought came suddenly, but I shot the idea down when I remembered that Samira had gone MIA weeks ago. And she wasn’t answering her phone. There wasn’t anything more in the box, except for one neatly folded paper. I quickly unfolded it and read:

  ‘Stella,

  I am so sorry. I wish I could tell you something more, but I don’t know a lot. Someone is stalking me, Stel. I’ve done my research, and I think the same person is going to come after you.

  You already know that they hurt both of us. Now you know we were hurt by the same person. I don’t remember much, but I do know that it was the summer before third grade when it happened, and my mom and I were going to New York. You might hear a similar story about what happened to you. Don’t be too sure about what they tell you.

  I came so close to finding out who did it, and the whole incident left me broken. I’ve had nightmares ever since.

  You will probably change your mind about me when you find out the truth, but, believe me when I say there’s more to the story.

  I know you’re desperate for answers, but trust me, you just have to be patient. And don’t trust anyone. Never let them see you sweat. I’m going to miss you, Stella J. Consider this my goodbye, and good luck. I hope you’ll find what you’re searching for.

  XOXO

  Savannah Mason

  I ran my fingers through my hair. So Savannah knew that she was being stalked, and that I had been raped. Why hadn’t she told me? I knew it was a crazy thought, but I needed to remember. I had only one other option, and that was to go to the two people who definitely knew almost everything about me. They would remember what happened.

  I sighed. They were the only option left: My parents.

  X-X-X-X-X

  The drive home was very long, though it was only because my house was all the way on the other side of town. I pulled into my driveway, parked, and sat for a minute, a million thoughts swirling in my mind. I checked my phone for messages and was shocked to see six missed calls from Alex, and messages from my parents, and the girls, asking where I was.

  I grimaced. The girls were going to kill me for ditching them. I wondered what mom and dad had called me about. Maybe they wanted to scare you. A voice in my head spoke. Well, it worked. I shook my head and opened the car door, but not before pulling on one of my extra hoodies to hide my dirty t-shirt.

  My hands started sweating as I walked to the door. I was hoping my parents weren’t mad at me, and were just worried since I’d disappeared suddenly. I twisted the door handle and pushed the door open, surprised that it wasn’t locked. The house was eerily silent, the only sound heard was the creaky door closing.

  I tried to be as quiet as possible, and winced when the door made noise. I was walking past the living room when all of a sudden the lights flicked on. “Where do you think you’re going, Stella?” I paused mid-step to face my parents, who were sitting on the sofa. Next to my mom was none other than Maria Winters.

  Bust-ed.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Truth

  “Have a seat. We need to tell you something.” I obeyed my mom’s orders and sat facing them on one of the single sofas.

  I had planned on running straight up to my room with the box, but I placed it on my lap then, waiting for the three adults to speak.

  “What’s in the box, Stel?” Maria asked casually. I had been going for daily therapy sessions to her for the past few weeks and had gotten used to her calling me by my pet name.

  I sighed, and without meeting her eyes, opened the box, took out all the pictures, and put them on the coffee table.

  I knew it wasn’t a good idea to confront my parents with Maria watching, but I needed to know what he did to me, even if it was horrible.

  “These are photos of me after I was kidnapped, and raped. Do you remember this, mom? Dad?”

  “Where the hell did you get these?” Mom asked, frowning.

  “Does it matter? Something happened to me, right? Why don’t I remember?” I turned to Maria.

  “Is it because it’s buried in the back of my mind? Or is it because I’ve erased it from my mind?”

  “Stella, you need to calm down-” Dad started, but I was so angry, I slammed my fists on the coffee table, making it shake. Then I leaned forward, glaring straight into his eyes. My parents both winced.

  “What the hell did he do to me?”

  “Stel, please calm down.” Maria said, putting her hand on my shoulder. I shrugged her off.

  “Calm down? Calm down?! Are you freaking kidding me right now? I just found out that I was raped-”

  “Almost raped.” Mom interrupted. I looked at her in shock.

  “W-what?” I spluttered. My mom sighed.

  “It was an attempted rape, Stella.”

  X-X-X-X-X

  I couldn’t stop staring at mom. “You were seven, when it happened. We were on our way into the airport when we lost you in the crowd.” Her eyes were filled with tears. Dad wrapped his arms around mom and pulled her close, before continuing.

  “We searched everywhere for you, and ended up calling the police. They searched everywhere in the city for you. We thought we had lost you. After four long days, the police found you in an abandoned warehouse. You were barely alive, and you had extreme internal bleeding.” Dad swallowed.

  “You wouldn’t tell us what happened. But we eventually found out, because that night the nightmares started. You would always wake up screaming for us, and you had panic attacks after that. We didn’t know what to do, but Andie told us to go to Maria.”

  “I hypnotised you into forgetting everything that happened.” Maria said. “But I guess your memories must have been triggered by something. Where did you get this box?”

  “I -” My phone beeped in my jeans pocket. I sighed, but pulled it out.

  �
��You poor almost raped grape.

  I bet you’re getting zapped by

  the memories. Have they all

  come back yet?

  -Anonymous’

  My stomach churned. “Um, I’m sorry. I have to go.” I stood up, not bothering to collect the photos scattered on the coffee table.

  “Where are you going?” Mom asked.

  “To get some air.” I replied, and quickly walked out the front door.

  X-X-X-X-X

  As I turned my jeep’s engine on my phone rang. Max.

  “Hey. Is Caitlin back yet?”

  Max sighed. “No. Stel, I’m worried. Mom is coming back at four o’clock but I’ve given Cait a ton of missed calls, and all I’m getting is her voicemail.”

  “Oh. Ok. Uh, do you need me to come over?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “Ok, I’ll be there. I love you.”

  “Yeah. Love you too.” He hung up. I put my car in reverse and headed to Max’s house.

  He opened the door before I could ring the doorbell. He looked so worried and scared.

  “Stella.” He said, his voice hoarse. Then he took my hands in his and pulled me into the house before pressing me against the door and kissing me. I moaned softly when he removed his lips from mine and led me to the living room sofa.

  Then he pulled me down next to him, but he didn’t kiss me again, just held me tight and looked very frustrated.

  “What? What’s wrong?” I asked, my hand cupping his cheek. Max let out a shaky breath. “I’m sorry. I just can’t stop thinking about my dad.” When I gave him a look of surprise he continued.

  “I never got to say goodbye to him. He was abducted, then murdered. What-What if the same thing happens to Caitlin?” A single tear rolled down his cheek.