by J. S. Cooper
I decided to go and get a bite to eat in the store café before making up my mind. I ordered a cheese and onion pastry and a cup of coffee. I sat there and wrote down my expenses as I contemplated which of the bags to get. As I sipped on my coffee, I started playing Temple Run on my iPad and got sidetracked from my decision.
“Excuse me, ma’am, we’re closing in ten minutes,” the cashier called over to me, and I jumped up. I had been sitting down playing the game on my iPad for the last two hours.
“Darn it. Can I pay for my handbag here, please?”
“Sure, ma’am.”
I jumped up and pushed both handbags into her open hands. I didn’t have time to make an executive decision right now. I figured I could always sell one on eBay and make a nice profit to boot.
“This is such a good deal,” I beamed at her. “I love Chanel.”
“Chunnel.” She looked at me with an odd look. “This is Chunnel.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I grinned. “Whatever they call it here. Back home a Chanel handbag costs over a thousand dollars.”
“I see.” She folded my bags in tissue paper and put them in a plastic bag.
“Here’s my card.” I crossed my fingers as she swiped it, hoping that it would go through. I was going to be super broke, but at least that would stop me from buying junk food.
“Here you go, ma’am. Thanks for shopping at Morley’s.” The cashier handed me my bags, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
“No, thank you.” I grabbed the bags and hurried out of the store. It was getting dark, and I still hadn’t been to the first house yet. I sure hoped Holly and Madeline lived in Herne Hill. I thought someone was looking out for me, because I saw a number three bus pulling up to the bus stop as I exited the store and crossed the street. I got on the bus with my Chanel handbags, feeling very happy.
10
Dear Diary,
I’ve never been a fan of the police, but I think the police in England have got to be a lot meaner than the police in the States. Do they not know what trespassing means? And do they really think I look like a robber? And why do they use the term robber? Shouldn’t they use the official term of thief? I’m going to ask Blake the legalities of it all. I’m definitely suing them and suing Holly Matthews. I’d sue that little brat, Madeline, as well, if I could. But maybe I’ll hold off for a bit – just to see if Ollie calls me.
I told the bus conductor that I needed to get off by Brockwell Park in Herne Hill, and he was kind enough to let me know when to get off. He pointed down the street and told me to walk under the train track overpass to get to Half Moon Lane. I walked slowly, enjoying the look of this town. It was quaint. The kind of place that I would like to live with Blake and a bunch of kids; if he hadn’t already dumped me. I walked past a pub and some stores and pulled out my paper to see what number I was looking for. I walked past Stradella Road and then Winterbrook Road; there was a church at the end of Winterbrook Road, and I wondered if I shouldn’t pop in for a quick prayer before going on to see Holly Matthews. But I knew I didn’t have time.
I finally came to the address that was on my paper, and I looked up at the house. It was cute. Actually, it was more than cute. It was homey and grand at the same time, a tall brick house with a gorgeous front garden. I could see lights on, and I walked up the pathway to ring the doorbell.
“I’ll get it,” I heard a young girl’s voice running towards the door, and my breath caught. It sounded very familiar. Could it be that I got the right address the first time around?
“Hello.” Madeline opened the door, and I grinned at her like the Cheshire cat. YES!
“Hi, Madeline. Is your mummy here?” I waited for her to recognize me and beam with happiness that her new friend from Hollywood had come to say hello.
“Who are you?” She frowned at me.
“It’s me, your friend.” I smiled at her gently, hoping to prod her memory with my soft smile. “I…”
“Help, there’s a stranger here to kidnap me!” Madeline screamed and ran away from the door, leaving it wide open. I didn’t want to say anything, but I wondered if she was a bit slow, having not recognized me and thinking I was a kidnapper but leaving the door wide open as she ran. She was either slow or stupid. I stood, smiling at the open air like a fool, and decided that I should walk in and explain the situation. It’s not like Holly Matthews wouldn’t recognize me. I mean, she was the one who had leaked the story of me marrying Bradley Cooper. She owed me!
“Hello,” I called out as I walked in. “It’s me, Maggie Lane.” I walked past a rather messy living room and down the corridor to what I assumed was going to be the kitchen. “Hello, Madeline, it’s me Maggie, also known as the kidnapper.” I laughed in jest at my joke and screamed as I felt someone come up behind me and twist my arm.
“Who are you, and what do you want?” a man’s voice growled at me, and I yelped in pain.
“Ow, watch it!” I screamed out. “I just came to visit Holly and Madeline.”
The man dropped my arm, and I turned around, jaw dropping. He was gorgeous. Holly had done well for herself; he looked more around my age than hers. He had golden blonde hair and hazel eyes that stared at me meanly.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Matthews.” I apologized to the sex god who was standing in front of me.
“Richards,” he corrected me.
“Sorry, what?” I looked at him in confusion.
“I’m Oliver Richards.”
“Um, sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” It was his turn to look confused.
“Sorry Holly didn’t take your name, and I’m guessing she didn’t give it to Madeline, either.”
“Uncle Ollie, why would I have your name and not Daddy’s?” Madeline looked up at her uncle with big bashing eyes.
“I have no idea, Maddy.” He stuck his tongue out at his niece and then looked at me. “I’m Maddy’s uncle, Holly’s brother. Holly and Luke are out to a show right now.”
“Oh.” I sighed, though I did feel a tinge of happiness to hear that he wasn’t Holly’s husband. “When will they be back?”
“Not until later.” Ollie stared at me with keen eyes. “Why’d you want to see them?”
“Well your sister printed some lies about me,” I started, before the front door came crashing in (I had been smart enough to close it, unlike Maddy). Three policemen came running through the door.
“Hands up, hands up!” they screamed at us. “Hands up!”
I reluctantly put my hands up and wondered if there was some sort of drug bust going on. It wouldn’t surprise me. It did seem that Holly was a shady sort of character. It was just my luck to get involved with her.
“Who’s the trespasser?”
“She is!” Madeline screamed and pointed at me before falling to the ground in sobs. “She came to kidnap me! Save me, save me!”
I stared at her with my mouth agape at her theatrics before a policeman grabbed me. “Ma’am, why are you here?”
“Wait, what?” I looked at them with a beguiling look. “That little brat is lying. Ask Ollie.”
Ollie looked at the scene in front of him and he looked like he was trying not to laugh. “Um, Officers there has been a mistake. I called the station prematurely.”
“So this lady is not trespassing?”
“Trespassing?” I looked at them indignantly. “I am just here visiting these liars. I think the whole family are liars frankly. Can you arrest them for that?”
The policeman looked at me like I was the crazy one and started to leave. “Sir, please call us if you need help.”
“Yes, I will. Thanks.” Oliver walked with them to the door and closed it behind them. Madeline stood up gracefully and ran to the kitchen, singing a nursery rhyme. I stood there in shock, wondering what had just happened.
“Your whole family is crazy, huh?” I frowned at Oliver.
“Madeline is a little drama queen, if that is what you’re asking,” he grinned, and I noticed that one of his front teeth w
as slightly chipped.
“A little drama queen? She’s crazy.” I sighed. “She could have had me arrested.”
“Well, to be fair, you did just walk into the house uninvited.”
“She left the door open.”
“She’s a kid.”
I bit my lip and kept the words “a stupid one” to myself. I didn’t think Oliver would appreciate me slagging off his young niece. And yes, ‘slagging off’ is an English term; I learned it from watching an English show called ‘EastEnders’ in my hotel room.
I sighed. “When will Holly be back? It is of vital importance that I speak to her.”
“Well, I suppose after all this, you can have a beer with me, watch some TV, and wait for them to get back.”
“Thanks,” I smiled. “I’d like that.” I followed him to the kitchen and took the Foster’s Lager he handed me, deciding that it would be too much to ask him if he would be able to make me a cocktail instead. My nerves were frazzled, and I felt like I needed a really stiff drink that was sweet enough to hide the taste of a killer, super strong liquor.
“So, can I ask what is so important?” Oliver asked me as we settled into the couch. I noticed he was sitting quite close to me, and I wasn’t sure if I should tell him that I had a boyfriend, though I didn’t really know if I did.
“Your sister printed a story saying I was married to Hollywood heartthrob Bradley Cooper and that I was a star myself, and it’s not true.” I paused. I didn’t really want him to know why she got the idea that it was true.
“Hmm,” He looked at me in surprise. “Why would she do that?”
“I have no idea.” I crossed my fingers quickly.
“Hmm,” he said again. “That’s weird, and if it’s not true, she could get in a lot of trouble for libel.”
“I promise I won’t sue.”
He laughed. “I think she would be more concerned that Bradley Cooper was going to sue.”
“Oh. True.” I looked at the clock on the wall and yelped. “Oh my. Is that the time? I have to go.” I jumped up off of the couch. “I seriously can’t stay any longer. Can you please tell Holly what I said, and ask her to print a retraction?”
“Okay.” He looked at me oddly. “Do you have a phone number for me to call?”
“Yeah, you can call me here. Ask for Maggie Lane’s room.” I wrote down the hotel’s number.
“Okay, Maggie Lane. I’ll be in touch.” He walked me to the door and then shook my hand. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Maggie.” He leaned forward and kissed my cheek and I walked away, dazed and confused, with a warm feeling in my stomach. A handsome Englishman had kissed me; I thought I was floating on cloud nine as I walked down the street. He didn’t know me or owe me anything, and he had kissed me, albeit on the cheek, and he had my number. I walked to the bus stop, grinning like a fool, and didn’t think about Blake at all on the way back to the hotel.
11
Dear Diary,
The whole Bradley Cooper husband debacle has been cleared up. Thank God. Though Blake doesn’t seem to have gotten out of his bad mood. Not that I care anymore, though. He’s an idiot. I’m going to focus my energies on Oliver, who is so clearly not an idiot. He may even be cuter than Blake, if that’s possible. And guess what – he’s a writer as well. It may be that he’s my soul mate. Ha! It would serve Blake right if I dumped him before he decided what he wanted to do about our relationship.
I got back to my hotel room late. I was worried that Blake was going to be super worried and ask me where I’d been, but he was nowhere to be seen. He certainly wasn’t waiting for me in my room, and he didn’t come banging at my door to see where’d I’d been. In fact, he hadn’t even left a message for me with the front desk or a note on my door. My good mood was gone as soon as I realized that Blake hadn’t even missed me. Ha, I wondered what he’d think if he knew a sex god had kissed me? I debated going to his room to tell him, to see his reaction, but I wasn’t so sure the jealousy route would work well with him. He’d likely just dump me, and that wasn’t what I wanted. And it had only been a kiss on the cheek, so it wasn’t like Ollie was a true backup.
I lay on my bed sulking and decided to send an email to Gayle, to see how she and Ben were doing. I was hoping to get back some sort of bad response. Not so bad that they had broken up – but maybe they were fighting like me and Blake. Maybe Ben Bonkers had slipped up and asked someone else out. I frowned as I typed away, ashamed of myself for hoping that my best friend was also going through a bad patch in her relationship. I reread my email to make sure it didn’t sound like I was hoping to hear about some sort of catastrophe on her side:
Hey Gayle,
What’s up? I’m here in sunny London. Hahaha. What they say is true. It’s pretty gray and rainy here, but I love it. I am having soo much fun. What about you? How is LA? Miserable without me? HAHA. How is Ben Bonkers? I hope he is staying true to you! Blake and I are good. We did it! Shh! I know. It was great. I think he put the love in lover. I hope Ben is as good in bed as Blake. Not that I care, lol. Though Blake and I are kind of on a break right now. Long story – I’ll tell you later, but let’s just say Bradley Cooper is to blame. Sign up for any new marathons as yet? I think I’m going to join Weight Watchers, as I want to lose weight. I’m going to look online to see if any of the other suckers have posted the plans on a blog so I don’t have to pay the monthly fee! ☺
So I met a cute guy today – he is English, his name is Oliver and he looks like a sex GOD. Can you remember the name of the book that we read that talked about sex gods again? I may want to reread it. Talking of books – mine is coming along slowly. I think I’m going to start a new book and forget the kids’ and YA stuff. Maybe I’ll write a dating book ‘How to Marry a Millionaire.’ Do you suppose people will have expected me to have married a millionaire first, though? If so, how hard do you think it will be for me to marry one before the book comes out? Help me find one, yeah? As I think Blake and I may be done.
Anyways, email me back before I eat a whole cake.
Maggie
I bit my lip as I read the last part. It did seem to me that Blake was done with me. It just seemed so unfair. How could he want to dump me already? I went to log onto Facebook when I heard a knock at my door.
“Maggie?” Blake’s voice called through the door. “Are you still up?”
I grinned and ran to the door and opened it slowly and looked at him with a feigned tired expression. “Yes, can I help you?” I yawned.
“I just wanted to say hi before I went back to my room.” He smiled at me, and I noticed he was still in his suit.
“Are you just getting back from work?” I said incredulously.
“Yes.” He yawned. “It’s been a long day.”
“Oh.” I paused. My heart wanted me to ask him if we were still boyfriend and girlfriend but my brain told me that would be a bad idea. He’d had a long day and didn’t need to deal with the juvenile me right now
“How has your day been?”
“Fine,” I smiled. “I wrote quite a bit.” It wasn’t technically a lie. I had written, just maybe not that much.
“Great.” He looked at me and raised his hand to tuck a flyaway hair behind my ear. “I should get to bed.”
“Oh, okay.” I stared at him with my heart fluttering.
“What are you doing?”
“I was just writing, actually.” And about to go on FB and stalk you, I thought in my head.
“Wow,” he smiled. “I guess I should leave you to it.”
“You can come in and watch TV if you want.” My voice was soft, fearing rejection.
“I might fall asleep.”
“That’s okay.” I suddenly felt shy. “If you can sleep with the TV on.”
“That I can.” He grinned. “Let me go change and have a shower, and I’ll be back in about ten minutes.”
“Okay.” I laughed happily.
Ten minutes to shower and change? He was definitely all man. But was he still my m
an? I debated changing into one of the sexy negligees I had bought before the trip. I didn’t want to come off as desperate, plus, what if he fell asleep? I’d never feel sexy again. I ran to the bathroom and brushed my hair and then reapplied some light makeup to my face. Nothing too sirenish though, I didn’t want to look washed out.
“Maggie?” Blake pushed open the door just as I had finished changing. I had on a tank top and a pair of boy shorts. I figured I could try and look as sexy as possible without him thinking I was trying to seduce him.
“Hey, Blake. Make yourself comfortable,” I called out to him as I finished up in the bathroom. I walked out and found him lying on top of the bed in plain white T-shirt and a pair of navy blue boxer shorts. He looked sexy, and if I had a lot more confidence or alcohol in my body, I might have just jumped on him. As it was, I sauntered over to the bed as sexily as possible and stopped by the side of the bed. “What are you watching?”
I sighed, a bit annoyed; he hadn’t watched me as I walked over to the bed. Instead he was flicking through the channels.
“Just looking for a good movie or some sports.” He finally grinned up at me, and his eyes crinkled. “Why are you wearing your top inside out?”
“Huh?” I looked down and saw the label sticking out. “Oops.” I turned around, pulled my top off, and pulled it back on the right way. Then I jumped on the bed and lay down next to him.
“Is soccer okay?” Blake stopped the channel on a match, and I smiled and nodded.
“That’s fine.” I picked up my iPad and waited for him to make a move on me, wondering if I should tell him about my day. I wasn’t sure how he would react, so I decided to keep it to myself. “So, have you thought anymore about us?” I couldn’t stop the words from coming out of my mouth.
