‘Oh, Audrey! I’m just thinking about what might be good for you. I’m sure that’s Mike’s reasoning too. I don’t think he’s just plucked this Norfolk idea out of thin air. I think he believes it will do you both some good.’
Audrey sipped her tea. ‘If only I hadn’t fainted. He’s totally taking advantage of that when it was just a silly little thing.’
Harrie glowered at her.
‘What?’
‘It wasn’t a silly little thing. It was a warning.’ Harrie reached across the table to hold Audrey’s hand. ‘And I should know. All my life, I’ve been in this awful rush to get somewhere, to achieve something, to tick things off a list that other people seemed to have written for me. Now, I don’t want to become some kind of preacher – that’s the very last thing I want – but we’re alike, Aud. I see so much of me in you and I don’t want you to make the same mistakes as I have.’
‘You think we should move?’
‘I think you should think about it.’
‘But my business—’
‘It didn’t exist before, did it? You were fine without it so surely you don’t need it now. Not really. Not in the scheme of things.’
Audrey didn’t feel happy or convinced by Harrie’s argument.
‘I’ve put everything into that school.’
‘I know you have and it’s zapped all your energy.’
‘I can’t just walk away from it and leave London.’
Harrie sighed. ‘Well, then think about deputising. If you must go on working and building the school, hire some more help. Take the pressure off yourself.’
‘But that will cut into the profits.’
‘What good are profits if you haven’t got the time or good health to enjoy spending them? Think about it, Aud. Would you rather be working yourself into an early grave or taking time to enjoy your life? And, before you say it, I know you enjoy your work. We all do. None of us would have gone into teaching unless we loved it. We do it because we’re passionate about it, but this business of yours is eating up all your time. That’s what Mike’s told me at least. He hardly gets to see you and, whenever he does, he says you’re so tired that you hardly speak to him.’
‘Mike exaggerates.’
‘Mike worries, and not without good cause. You’re stressed, Aud. I’ve never seen you look so exhausted, and stress can be just as deadly as the thing that’s eating me up from the inside.’
‘Oh, Harrie!’
‘No, no! Don’t make this about me. We’re talking about you now. Maybe Mike’s Norfolk idea isn’t such a bad one. You’d be working together and that would be fun, wouldn’t it?’
‘Are you sure about that?’
Harrie laughed at Audrey’s scepticism.
‘You’d also be working from home so there wouldn’t be any travel involved.’
‘But a bed and breakfast? Is that really us?’
‘You won’t know until you try.’
‘But we wouldn’t be able to get away from our work. It would always be there around us.’
Harrie gave a wry smile. ‘Unless you haven’t noticed, you already take your work home with you now. You even brought it on holiday with you.’
‘But that will all calm down soon. A new business is special – it needs all the man hours you can throw at it.’ Audrey finished her tea and looked at Harrie. ‘What?’
‘I think you should listen to Mike. He might be onto something and I think it would be fun to have a change.’
‘You seriously think we should pack up and head to Norfolk?’
Harrie smiled again. ‘I think you should at least consider it.’
Harrie knew she’d rattled Audrey by being honest with her, but it sometimes took an honest friend to help you see the opportunities right in front of you that you weren’t always able to recognise yourself. The funny thing was, she had felt an immediate sense of excitement as soon as Audrey mentioned the Norfolk idea. She could really see her friend living there, working alongside Mike and strolling on the endless north Norfolk beaches, breathing in all that wonderful salty air. Surely that was preferable to being stressed out in a stuffy office or classroom. Harrie knew that her friend had worked hard to build her school and she sincerely admired her, but her dream seemed to have turned into a nightmare and Mike had obviously had enough of seeing Audrey put herself through it all.
Dear Mike. That was something else Audrey had to consider in all this. Marriage was a partnership and compromise was essential in order to make things work, and Harrie could think of far worse things than moving to the country.
She looked out of the kitchen window, where Audrey was walking in the garden. She’d been out there herself, walking through the rain-soaked grass with bare feet and inhaling the air, which was pure and fresh after the storm. There was nothing quite like it – a summer garden after a downpour. The colours seemed brighter, deeper and the scents seemed stronger, especially so when it might be the last summer to enjoy such things, she thought to herself. No, there was nothing that heightened the senses quite like a death sentence.
She’d go back outside in a little while, she told herself, shaking her dark thoughts out of her head. First, though, she’d go and see Samson. She was eager to talk to him again to make sure that things weren’t weird between them after she had told him about her cancer. Cancer had a way of spoiling friendships and of making people wary or scared and she hoped the rotten disease hadn’t stolen Samson from her.
‘There’s only one way to find out,’ she told herself.
She made her way to the chapel, ready for her second trip up the scaffolding to see what she now thought of as her angel. Although she didn’t relish the idea of climbing that ladder again, she believed she would handle the height issue better this time.
She could hear Samson at work as she entered the chapel.
‘Hello!’ she called.
She heard the tools stop and his sandy head popped over the scaffolding. ‘Hello!’ he called back.
‘Can I come up?’ Harrie asked, moving towards the ladder.
‘No!’
Harrie blanched, surprised by his response. ‘Oh, okay.’
‘I mean – not today.’
‘What are you up to?’
‘Nothing. It’s just – a bit delicate. I’ll show you another time.’
‘I’ll hold you to that.’
‘I know you will.’ He grinned. She liked his grin. She remembered that, not too long ago, he had only ever scowled at her. ‘Did you have a power cut?’
‘Yes, we did!’
‘I trust you were prepared for it.’
‘Well, I didn’t really believe you, I’m afraid. I mean about the power going. So we had to come in here in the dark to get our candles. It was very spooky.’
‘Why didn’t you believe me?’
‘I thought you might be exaggerating.’
He shook his head in mock despair. ‘You’re in the middle of nowhere here. If there’s a storm, there’ll likely be a power cut.’
‘I’ll remember that for next time,’ she told him. ‘You want a cup of tea?’
‘Sure.’
Harrie left the chapel, breathing a sigh of relief that things seemed pretty normal between her and Samson.
He came down the ladder for his cup of tea and she sipped her own herbal one.
‘How’s my angel?’ she asked.
‘Pardon?’ He looked a little taken aback.
‘The angel you’re working on up there,’ Harrie said. ‘Did you think I was calling you my angel?’
‘No!’ Samson said.
Harrie laughed. ‘I can if you want.’
‘I’d rather you didn’t.’
His cheeks were burning bright and he cleared his throat. ‘Your angel is doing fine. A bit more work to do on the stone around her, but she should be safe for another few hundred years after that.’
‘Wow! That’s amazing. Do you think you could chisel some of the rotten bits out of me and give me
a few extra years?’
Samson stared at her, his mouth dropping open.
‘Sorry,’ Harrie said. ‘That just came out. I shouldn’t have said—’
‘I would if I could. Believe me.’
Harrie could have sworn there were tears in his eyes as he said this but, if there were, he quickly blinked them away. She’d often had this response – she was the one with the disease and yet she found she spent an awful lot of time comforting others as they cried. Harrie hadn’t cried herself for months now. Not what she considered proper crying anyway, other than with Honor, that was. She’d had sympathy crying, like when she’d told Lisa and Audrey. How could one not cry when one’s friends were in such pain? But she hadn’t really cried for herself for a long time now. She must be getting good at this cancer lark, she thought.
‘I’ll leave you to it,’ she said to him, reaching out to take his mug from him.
‘Harrie?’ he said, just as she’d turned to leave. ‘I’m here. If you need to talk. I might not be much of a talker myself, but I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener.’
‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘That means a lot.’ She paused. ‘And I promise – no more chisel jokes.’
He grinned. ‘Okay,’ he said.
Audrey stood at the edge of the swimming pool, looking down into its aquamarine depths before diving in. She needed to lose herself in a world without words, without phone calls from husbands or advice from well-meaning friends. So she swam, slicing through the water with grace and precision, her body fully supported and her mind concentrating only on movement.
She wasn’t sure how long she spent in the water but, when she got out, she felt both refreshed and relaxed as she grabbed her towel from the sun lounger and dried herself. The sun was warm on her bare skin and she applied some lotion before putting on her hat and glasses and sitting down.
She had to admit that she was hurt by Harrie’s words. Well, maybe hurt was too strong a word. Surprised. Yes, that was more like it. Harrie had surprised her. Ever ready to fight one another’s corner, Audrey had felt almost betrayed that her friend had taken Mike’s side so quickly. She’d been so sure that Harrie would be as outraged as she was by Mike’s audacity at having an estate agent around and his subsequent proposal to leave London, but Harrie had simply smiled and thought it all a wonderful idea.
But was it wonderful? It was Audrey’s instinct to fight for herself and she had to admit that she didn’t always see the point of view of others. Now, she tried to imagine how Mike was feeling and how he’d endured all those years in a place he felt no love for. He’d done that for her and he’d never complained. Well, he’d dropped a few hints throughout the years about how much more space and air and sky there was in Norfolk and how much less noise and pollution. She’d always smiled and nodded, but hadn’t really paid it much attention.
But maybe you should, a little voice said. Maybe Harrie was onto something and a new adventure, working closely with her husband, might just be worth considering. Oh, but her beloved school. She had such dreams for it and yet, if she was totally honest with herself, it had been a total nightmare from start to finish. She kept telling herself that things would get better, easier, but there was no guarantee, not really.
As she closed her eyes against the sunshine, Audrey began to wonder what it might be like not to have to get up so painfully early each weekday morning and do the commute to a job that was proving punishingly hard and work long into each evening and still not be able to keep on top of things. She’d had a small taste of what it might be like while staying at the priory. Of course, if they were to run a bed and breakfast, that would be hard work too, but it would be a different sort of work and Mike had said that they would own their property outright and so not have a mortgage to worry about anymore. That in itself was a wonderful incentive.
Audrey groaned. What was she thinking of, even considering such a ludicrous idea? She could never walk away from her school and give up her life in London. She’d have to put Mike straight. Norfolk was just a dream. Maybe they could have a holiday there so he could get it out of his system. Yes, that’s what they both needed – some time out together, walking along those endless sandy beaches and eating chips sitting on a sea wall. Then, she thought, normality could resume.
‘How’s Samson getting on?’ Honor asked as she and Harrie took an afternoon walk down the lane. They’d all had a marvellous lunch made by Mrs Ryder that had consisted of far too many goodies, and Harrie had felt the need to burn some of it off.
‘You should really go and see for yourself,’ Harrie said.
‘Oh, I did.’
‘You did?’
‘I sneaked in the other day.’
‘Did you say hello?’ Harrie asked.
‘No, I didn’t want to disturb him.’
‘He doesn’t mind. Well, he says he does, but he’s slightly less grouchy if you take him a cup of tea. Maybe you could do that when we get back.’ Harrie smiled at her daughter, but noticed a shadow pass across her face. ‘What is it?’
‘I got a call from Benny.’
They’d reached the end of the track to the priory now and took a footpath which crossed a meadow. Harrie waited for her daughter to continue.
‘Are you going back?’ They stopped walking.
‘Would you mind?’ Honor asked, her eyes full of anguish.
‘Of course I wouldn’t mind! I’ve been expecting it.’
‘But I don’t want to leave you, Mum.’
‘It won’t be for long. I’ll see you as soon as I get home.’
Honor sighed. ‘I’m not sure yet. I might stay. Benny can do without me for a little longer and I want to spend more time with you.’
Harrie could see the conflicting emotions in her daughter’s face and heard the unspoken words. Honor knew all too well that this would be Harrie’s last summer and that tore her heart, and so she decided to make things really easy.
‘If you want to know the truth,’ she began, ‘I was going to suggest you go back. I know you’ve got so much going on and it must be an agony not seeing Benny, and I’ll be just fine with Audrey and Lisa to keep me company. And you can come back any time you want,’ she added, feeling Honor’s indecision like a great weight.
‘You’re the best!’ Honor hugged her mum in the middle of the meadow as the joyous song of a skylark poured down upon them.
Evening was an especially quiet time at the priory. The frantic buzz of the bees and the high-spirited singing of the birds had mellowed. Harrie, Audrey and Lisa were sitting in the courtyard garden, breathing in the heady scent of the lavender in the fading light. It seemed almost luminous at this time of day; its rich purple positively glowed.
It had been deeply relaxing, watching the slow progress of the shadows across the lawn, feeling how the temperature dipped ever so slightly. Harrie loved sitting there and would often do so for hours, the pages of her book turning slowly for she found it hard to concentrate when there was so much beauty around her.
Although she didn’t believe in regrets, it had always seemed a great pity to Harrie that she’d never owned a garden, but the properties within her budget had never come with anything more than a simple backyard. She would have loved somewhere with sunny corners and shady nooks – somewhere she could feel protected. Rooms were all very well, but they could never really compare to a garden. What a joy it must be to be able to leave one’s house and enter a garden, she thought, and a garden such as the one at the priory would be a daily blessing.
She gazed up at the great tower, her mind drifting towards the past.
‘Cistercian, Augustinian, Benedictine – they’re wonderful words, aren’t they?’ she suddenly said. ‘Your tongue can cartwheel around them.’
‘You’ve had too much wine,’ Audrey said.
‘I haven’t had a single drop. I’m drinking fruit juice.’
‘It’s funny without Honor,’ Lisa confessed.
‘Yes,’ Harrie said, ‘but it was right
for her to go.’
‘Missing her chap?’ Lisa asked.
‘Absolutely.’
‘Ah, young love. It’s so wonderful,’ Audrey said.
‘Middle-aged love can be wonderful too,’ Harrie told her.
‘Oh, don’t say that! Don’t say middle-aged!’ Audrey said with a cringe.
‘Yes, it sounds awful, especially to someone like me who’s still single,’ Lisa said.
‘Are you still single?’ Harrie asked.
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean you and that gardener.’
‘We’re just friends,’ Lisa announced. ‘Like you and that stone bloke.’
Harrie laughed.
‘Aren’t you two having a fling?’ Lisa asked.
‘No, we’re not!’
‘Why not? He’s a good-looking man.’
‘I’m not here to have a fling. I’m here to be with my friends and just relax.’
Lisa seemed puzzled by this. ‘Really?’
‘Yes. Why are you so surprised by that?’
‘I don’t know. I guess, well, if I was you’ – she paused, swallowing hard – ‘I think I’d be wanting to do stuff like jetting off around the world and jumping out of planes over the Alps or swimming naked in the Great Barrier Reef.’
Harrie smiled. ‘I think that’s what people think they’d want to do, but I want to sit here and think. I want to watch the clouds in the sky and listen to the doves in the tower or find myself a nice deep windowsill and just stare out at the garden.’
‘But isn’t that . . .’
‘What?’
‘Depressing?’
Harrie shook her head. ‘I’m not just thinking about the you-know-what. I’m thinking about everything. I’m thinking about when I was a child . . . when I found out I was pregnant after being told I could never have children . . . All sorts of things that normal life doesn’t give you time to think about. That’s what this disease has given me – the chance to slow down and just think. I don’t have to run around anymore like a mad creature. It’s so incredibly freeing.’
Lisa still didn’t look convinced. ‘But aren’t there things you want to do? I mean—’
One Last Summer Page 23
