“You’re drunk,” I said.
“I had a moment of weakness,” he said.
I looked at him, my body shaking. “Were you drunk earlier when you came into the dressing room?”
I had known something was off. Wyatt was never that aggressive with me. If I hadn’t been so caught up in my desire for him, I was sure I would’ve figured it out.
“Brooklyn.” He came forward a step. “I have a problem and I didn’t handle it well tonight. But you knew this about me. You knew that I am broken.”
“What about the women?” I said, looking right into his eyes. “You told me you have an alcohol and drug addiction. You never told me that I’d find you in a hotel room with three women hanging all over you.”
“Is that what this is all about? You’re jealous?” He grinned and there was nothing charming about it.
“No, I’m not jealous. I’m disgusted, Wy.” I zipped my suitcase shut. “And I’m heartbroken. I’m going home.”
Wyatt grabbed my wrist. “What do you mean? You can’t go home, Brooklyn. Not over something this stupid. I’ll call Neil in the morning and he’ll get me back on track. I’ve had one slip in three weeks and you’re giving up on us?”
“Contrary to everything I’ve seen over the last three weeks, not everything is about you, Wyatt.” I tried to glare at him, but instead I started crying. “Jax is sick. Trisha called and it doesn’t sound good. He’s in the hospital.”
His eyes cleared instantly and he was my Wyatt again. “Shit,” he breathed, reaching for me. “I’m so sorry, love. I’m so, so sorry.”
I let him hold me because even when he was the one that had hurt me, he was still the only one who could take the pain away. Except this time he smelled like expensive booze and cheap perfume and for the first time, his arms didn’t feel like home. I pushed him away. “I can’t do this right now,” I said. “I need to go.”
“Brooklyn, there’s no way you are getting a flight in the middle of the night. Let me call and get us a private flight first thing in the morning.”
“No.” I answered firmly. “You’re not going with me.”
The pain that passed over his face was so intense it was almost impossible not for me to say something to take it away.
“You don’t want me to go with you?” he said.
“I need to take care of my family,” I said. “I can’t do that and worry about you. You are broken, Wy, and I can’t be the one to fix you right now.”
It was an impossible thing to say to someone that you loved more than anything. I felt like I was betraying him when he needed me the most. I worried that my words might cause him to spiral even more than he already had.
“Call Neil. Work through whatever you need to work through.” I reached out and put my hand on his chest. “This doesn’t mean that I don’t love you, Wy. I just love you enough to know that this isn’t working. I can’t fix you. You need to fix yourself.”
Those were the last words we said to each other for the night. I called Trisha and let her know that I would be there as soon as I could in the morning. Wyatt called some people and arranged for a private jet to take me home at 6:00. I finished packing my things and then managed to get a couple hours of sleep. Wyatt never joined me in bed and I found him passed out on the couch in the morning.
I knew that I should wake him, that he would want to tell me goodbye. I also knew that he would apologize a hundred more times and look at me with those shining silver eyes and I would get lost in them. I would forget how much it had hurt seeing him in that room last night. I would forget the cold way he had looked at me when he accused me of being jealous. I didn’t wake him. I kissed his forehead and ran my fingers through his hair, hoping it wouldn’t be the last time.
The car was waiting for me downstairs. It was strange to be boarding Wyatt’s plane without him. I hadn’t gone anywhere without him for three weeks. As we ascended into the sky, I wasn’t just leaving Wyatt behind. I was leaving behind my heart.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
J axson was fighting a bad infection. It had started as the flu, but then became strep. The infection had spread throughout his little body and he was in a medically induced coma. Trisha and Brian refused to leave his side, so I helped out by staying with the other kids.
I made them breakfast in the morning and sent them to school. Then I went to the hospital and sat with Trisha and Brian. In the afternoon, I made it home in time to greet the kid and help them with their homework, make them dinner, and get them ready for bed. This went on for a week until Jaxson had finally recovered enough to be moved to the pediatric floor.
The entire time I was with my family, I was worrying about Wyatt. He’d been calling me every morning and again every night. I took the calls because I was worried about what he might do if I didn’t answer. I knew that he was struggling and was relieved when he told me that he was checking himself into a treatment facility. I knew that was exactly the kind of help he needed, even if it meant that he wouldn’t be around to help me.
I had no idea if our relationship was salvageable. Neither of us were in a place emotionally where we could make the other person a priority in our lives, and that didn’t bode well for our future. My second week back in Starlight, a week after Wyatt had check into rehab, I found myself sitting up in the middle of the night watching television. I had been flipping aimlessly through the channels until I came across one showing Wyatt’s beautiful face.
The person interviewing Wyatt was also instantly recognizable. Jim Jones had interviewed hundreds of celebrities over the years.
“You’ve released five albums in the last eight years. That’s an impressive amount of work in such a short amount of time,” Jim said. “Do you ever worry that you’ll run out of material?”
“I used to,” Wyatt said. “When you write about your life experiences, you start to worry that if you become complacent or, as they say – settle down – that you’ll lose your edge. I don’t worry about that anymore, though.”
“Why not?” Jim asked. “Has something in your life changed to cause that shift?”
“Everything has changed,” Wyatt said with his trademark grin. “I fell in love with an amazing woman.”
Jim returned his grin. “That’ll do it. Nothing can shift perspective quite like love. You’ve done a lot of interviews over the years and you never really talk about your personal life, but could you tell us a little bit about this woman?”
“She’s my best friend,” Wyatt said. “We’ve known each other since we were teenagers and she’s always been the best part of my life. She helped me through some really dark times and I’m just glad we’re finally at a place where we can focus on good times.”
“Is this the woman that you brought on stage at your performance in Starlight last week? Jim asked. “Brooklyn Monroe?”
Wyatt nodded.
“You mentioned dark times in your past. I’m a big fan of your music, and I know you’ve poured a lot of those details into your work. Your father was an alcoholic, correct?”
Again, Wyatt nodded. “That’s true. My father was an abusive alcoholic. He was also absent a lot and I mostly raised myself.”
“He eventually kicked you out of the house?” Jim said.
“When I was sixteen, he couldn’t hit me anymore. I was big enough to hit back. So, he kicked me out.” Wyatt said it all so matter-of-factly. “I moved in with a good friend of mine. His name was Ryder, actually. That’s where I got my stage name.”
“You’re speaking about him in the past tense,” Jim noted.
“Ryder was killed in a car accident our senior year of high school. Brooklyn and I were with him and we were both injured in the accident.” Wyatt’s face darkened. “The three of us used to write songs and perform together. After Ryder died, Brooklyn and I grew apart. It was hard to be around each other and not think about Ryder.”
Jim nodded sympathetically. “That’s understandable. I’m sure that ordeal was very traumatic for both
of you.”
“It weighed on my heart for a long time,” Wyatt admitted. “I thought that I handled it well at the time, but Brooklyn was the one to identify that my coping mechanisms were less than ideal.”
“Alcohol?” Jim said and Wyatt nodded. “Drugs?” Wyatt nodded again.
“I checked myself into rehab two years ago.” Wyatt paused. “Only a few people know this, Jim. It’s not something I’m proud to admit, but I feel like I need to share this with my fans. I think it’s important for people to know that they aren’t alone if they are struggling with addiction.” He paused again and looked at the camera and it was like he was looking right at me. “The same things that break us can make us stronger. Even though my recovery hasn’t been perfect, I’m a stronger person now than I have been in the past. I owe a good deal of strength to Brooklyn. I think that because of my upbringing, I believed for a long time that it wouldn’t be possible for someone to ever love me. Including myself. Brooklyn proved me wrong. She loved me and that allowed me to finally love myself.”
I had to turn off the television. I was crying so hard that I couldn’t see anything anyway and my sobs were drowning out Wyatt’s voice. It took me a long time to compose myself enough to reach for my phone. Wyatt had told me he wouldn’t be using his phone for the next few weeks, but I called him anyway. I was stunned when he answered after the first ring.
“Brooklyn.” His voice was so hopeful.
I tried to speak, but all I could get out was, “Wy.”
“Honey, what’s wrong?” He sounded so far away. “Talk to me.”
“I just needed to hear your voice,” I said, closing my eyes and trying hard to pretend that he was lying next to me in bed.
“I’m glad you called, love.”
“How are you?” I asked.
He sighed. “I’m doing okay. I’m getting the help I need, but I really miss you. I wish I could be there for you. How’s Jax?”
“A little better. He’s still in the hospital, but he’s awake now.” I lowered my voice. “I miss you so much, darling.”
“I’m glad you called.”
“I wasn’t going to. You told me that you wouldn’t have your phone, so I didn’t even expect you to answer. I just…I had to try.” I frowned. “You’re not going to get in trouble for this, are you?”
“In trouble? We’re not in high school anymore, Brooklyn.” Wyatt laughed and it was a beautiful sound. “Phones aren’t prohibited, I’ve just been avoiding it to focus on my recovery. I also didn’t want you to feel like you had to keep checking on me when you’ve got other things to worry about. But I was never not going to answer if you called.”
“I’m glad you answered.” I was surprised at how much better I felt already. “It’s really late. Did I wake you up?”
“Don’t worry about it.” He didn’t sound tired at all. “I was actually dreaming about you anyway.”
“Oh yeah? Anything good?” I teased.
He laughed. “Really good.”
“You know, there’s something that you and I have never tried.” I used a deep voice and said, “What are you wearing?”
“I’m in bed, love.” His tone was playful. “You know I always sleep naked.”
“You don’t have a roommate, do you?” I asked in alarm.
“Yeah, he’s lying next to me right now,” Wyatt said sarcastically. “How’s this working for you? Am I turning you on yet?”
I could picture his cocky smile just as clearly as his naked body. “Surprisingly, yes.”
“What are you wearing?” he asked.
“Your t-shirt.” I said honestly. “It still smells a little like you.”
“I hope that’s a good thing.”
“Not as good as if you were actually here with me, but it’s an okay substitute.” I looked at the empty space next to me. “I’m lying. There is no substitute for you.”
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m hurrying back to you as fast as I can, Brooklyn. I promise.”
“I know you are. The things that break us also make us stronger, right?” I said.
“That’s right.” He paused and I knew without being able to see him that he was wiping away a tear. “We should hang up so you can get some rest.”
“Will you stay on the line? I just… I want to hear you breathe.” I couldn’t think of any other way to explain how I was feeling.
“Okay.”
I don’t know which one of us fell asleep first, but I do know that the rhythm of his steady breathing was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard.
That one phone call did a lot to improve how I was feeling. Knowing that Wyatt was in a good place emotionally and that he was taking the time he needed to address his addiction allowed me to focus my worry on Jaxson and my family.
Jaxson was improving every day, but it was a slow progress. Trisha was still spending almost all her time at the hospital, but Brian had to go back to work. I continued to spend my days by Trisha’s side whenever I could, though with her out of commission, I had to go back to work at the café. Tyra and Zack covered as many shifts as they could, but it was a lot to ask of them. I made the decision to hire another employee to help out.
One morning when I was opening the café, I heard a familiar song on the radio. I froze, stunned by what I was hearing. It was the first time I’d heard Falling for You on the radio. Even though I knew we had recorded it with the intent to release it, I’d just assumed that plan had changed after everything that had happened. As I listened to Wyatt’s voice, I wished more than anything that he could be there with me for that moment.
I hadn’t called Wyatt since the night of my breakdown, but I’d texted him every morning to tell him that I loved him. This morning, I did the same thing I always did and was surprised when he didn’t reply immediately. Figuring he was busy with group therapy, I shrugged it off.
I didn’t hear from him until later that night, when the phone rang just after I stepped out of the shower. “It’s you,” I said happily, wrapping a towel around me.
“It is,” he said. “Are you home?”
“I am.” I grinned at my reflection in the mirror. “It’s good to hear your voice.”
“I was thinking we could do more than just talk,” Wyatt said. “What are you wearing?”
I grinned. “A towel, actually. I just got out of the shower.”
“I timed this well,” he said. His voice was deep when he said, “I want you to do something for me.”
“Oh yeah?” I flushed happily. “What would you like me to do, Hudson?”
“Open your door.”
My breath caught in my throat. That request could only mean one thing, but I couldn’t believe that was possible. My feet moved slowly toward the door as my heart pounded faster. I yanked open the door and my breath came out in rush.
“You’re here!”
Wyatt caught me as I lunged into his arms. “I’m home,” he said. “I hurried as fast as I could.”
“I’m never letting you go,” I said.
“I’m moving this inside,” Wyatt said with a laugh as he backed me through the doorway. “Your towel isn’t covering much right now.”
“I don’t care,” I said, burying my face in his neck and breathing deeply. “I can’t believe you’re really here.”
“Hey, look at me a sec.” Wyatt loosened his grip so I could pull back and lift my head. “You’re even more beautiful than I remember.”
I smiled. “Sounds like I might need to refresh your memory.”
“Actually, as much as it pains me to say this, could you put on some clothes?” He grimaced. “I need to talk to you about something and it’s a little hard to focus with you in that towel.”
“Okay. Just give me a second.” I stepped back and tried not to look worried. It was rare for Wyatt to be this serious. After I was dressed, I joined him on the couch. “Better?”
“Not better,” he said with a shake of his head. “But necessary.”
&
nbsp; “What do you want to talk about?” I asked.
He sighed. “This is hard for me, Brooklyn. I never expected to be having this conversation with you.”
I held my breath, anticipating his next words. I was convinced he was about to break up with me for good. That was the only thing that could explain the rueful look he gave me.
“How I treated you in New York was unacceptable. It doesn’t matter that I was drunk and backsliding. I still knew what I was doing that night and I knew that it was wrong. I just didn’t care until I saw you standing in the doorway of that hotel room.” He blinked a few times as he looked at me. “I’m never been more ashamed of myself than I was in that moment.”
“You warned me that our relationship wasn’t always going to be pretty,” I said.
“I don’t get a pass on being a jerk just because I also happen to be an addict,” Wyatt said. “I hurt you that night. I swore that I would never do that.”
“You made a mistake, Wy. I’ve already forgiven you.” I put my hand on his arm. “I think you and I just have to acknowledge that New York doesn’t bring out the best in us.”
He smiled faintly. “That’s putting it mildly.”
“I don’t blame you entirely for what happened that night. I know that I wasn’t the best version of myself while we were on the road. You warned me about the lifestyle, but I didn’t understand until we were in the middle of it,” I said. “I was trying so hard to protect our privacy that I shut down. I know you tried to make the best of it and you never complained when I asked to hide out in the tour bus.”
“I was never going to complain about alone time with you, love. I just didn’t like seeing you so closed off.” Wyatt reached over and lifted a strand of my hair, twirling it through his fingers. “You brought so much light to my life, I hated that my lifestyle was darkening your world.”
“What made you break that night, Wy?” I asked. It was the one question that I hadn’t been able to stop asking myself. “Was it something I did?”
He flinched. “No, Brooklyn. Of course not. I broke because I’m an addict.”
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