Lewis rolled away, easing Ty’s head to the pillows. “Gonna go check on Crissy. She’s probably asleep at her computer again.”
Shoving up on an elbow, Ty swept his hair back with one hand, staring over at Lewis, stomach rolling. “No, something’s wrong. What’s up?”
Wiping his belly with a pair of boxers, Lewis shook his head, his gaze skittering around the room and landing anywhere except on Ty. “She needs to sleep.”
“I’m not disagreeing with you. But that ain’t what I’m askin’ about and you know it. Tell me what that was just now?” Lewis grabbed a pair of clean underwear from a drawer and pulled them on as he shook his head. Ty was frantic to understand, because whatever he’d done was driving his lover from their bed and into the dark. Lewis—who loved to cuddle even more than Crissy—was abandoning the warmth under the covers and loose muscles that he’d earned, in an effort to avoid something Ty didn’t understand. “Lewis, what’s wrong? What’d I do?” Lewis slashed a glance his direction, the look so filled with pain Ty’s breath clogged in his throat. “Lewis?”
“Just…lemme go check on Crissy.” Lewis bent down, molding his lips to Ty’s. Firm and strong, the rasp of stubble across his chin left no doubt who Ty was kissing. He licked along Lewis’ lips, dueling with his tongue for a moment before Lewis pulled back. Forehead to Ty’s, Lewis finally admitted something that made the bile rise in Ty’s throat, “We need to talk, but I wanna wait until tomorrow. Okay? Can you give me that?”
Now it was tomorrow, and as much as he loved what Lewis was doing with his mouth, Ty had waited long enough. He used his grip on Lewis’ hair to pull him all the way off, staring down at his lover’s face.
Eyes half-lidded and dark with desire, Lewis’ lips were red, puffy, slick with wet from what he’d been doing. Ty swooped down and captured his mouth, plunged his tongue deep, and licked a long, firm stroke along the inside. Lewis responded in kind, and they dueled for supremacy, Ty retaining the upper hand only barely, angling Lewis’ head for a renewed attack, sucking and biting at his lips until the man groaned, the sound making Ty’s dick impossibly harder. That sound was what he wanted, that exact noise. Only more. I want more. “I love hearing you.”
He shifted his grip and tipped Lewis’ head to the side, attacking his neck with ferocious hard and sucking kisses, teeth threatening as he worked his way down, and then back up, latching onto Lewis’ earlobe with his teeth and eliciting another vibrating groan. “I love making you make those sounds.”
Ty brought his other hand up, cupping Lewis’ jaw and bringing his chin up. His mouth followed the path of Lewis’ Adam’s apple, the tang of sweat a deliciously spicy flavor he’d become addicted to. “I love you.” Ty pulled back and was staring down into Lewis’ face when he said those words so he didn’t miss the easing of his features. “You like hearin’ that.” Lewis nodded against his grip, head moving up and down slightly.
He assessed the location for what he wanted to do. They were both big men, and the chair Lewis sat in was sturdy but not wide. That meant the porch was a no-go, but Crissy was still asleep in their bed, not resting well, not with Lewis staying away all night. None of them slept well away from the others now, having become entirely accustomed to making a three-way puppy pile of tangled legs and arms, hands holding on even in their sleep, heads on shoulders or propped on ribs. It didn’t matter how, they were always touching, always in contact, and without that, they just didn’t do well.
“I want you.” He gave Lewis his desires in a soft statement and saw the instant the walls started to go back up between them. “Don’t, man. Don’t do that to me.” He pressed his mouth to Lewis’ neck, letting him feel the edge of teeth with every hard kiss. “Don’t make me wonder if you don’t like this. Don’t make me feel like an intruder, an unwanted distraction. Don’t make me feel less than.” Lewis bit off a curse, muscles bulging and flexing under Ty’s hands as if he were remaining still with only the greatest effort. “Let me in, dammit. I want you, wanna feel you.” Frustrated, Ty straightened and urged Lewis to rise to his feet, pressing closer with every movement. “Wanna know I’m still what you want.” Lewis’ mouth was on the side of his face, lips sliding along his jaw to his ear. “Wanna know you’re still in this.”
“Oh, baby, be careful what you ask for.” Lewis’ whisper rasped out slowly, words gaining vowels and sounds as he drawled them out using his deepest backwoods patois. “Be sure you want this.”
“I do,” Ty reassured him, flattening one hand against Lewis’ back, fingers fisting in his shirt to bring their chests together. “God, I do.”
“I wanted to talk first.” Lewis slipped his palm down Ty’s waist, curving around to his ass, gripping firmly, fingers digging in deep to haul their hips into alignment, the rough handling making his breath come quickly. If he only knew what it does to me. Lewis reminded him, “I think we needa have a convo, baby.”
“Then you shoulda come to bed last night.” Ty leaned back only far enough to get his mouth on Lewis’, kissing him hard, teeth clashing as their heads angled back and forth, lips working against each other. He used his hold on Lewis’ shirt to draw him towards the house and through the door, the kiss never breaking. When his eyes fluttered open, he saw Lewis’ were closed, his features twisted in passion. Lewis already looked like he was chasing an orgasm, and Ty wondered if he’d been hungry for this, too. “We can talk later.” His guttural mutter was covered on the end by Lewis’ husky laughter.
“Okay, baby. We’ll talk later. Seems I got some reassurin’ to do, and trust me, the things I’m gonna do to you are gonna lay those fears to rest.” Lewis’ hand slipped up Ty’s shoulder, curling around the back of his neck, and a thumb dug under his chin, lifting his mouth for another assault.
Wait.
This wasn’t what he’d wanted. This was Lewis taking control again, and Ty knew if he didn’t stop things in their tracks now, this encounter would end the way the previous ones had, with Ty pleasured and satisfied…and wondering what had happened to all his plans. If he didn’t change directions now, it would be him not getting to do a single thing he’d been dreaming of doing.
Mimicking Lewis’ actions from a few moments earlier, he curved an arm around his lover’s waist, hand slipping along bare skin as he traced the top edge of the fabric. Locating a gap with touch alone, Ty eased his hand into Lewis’ pants, finding him commando as he curled his fingers around the curve of one cheek, springy hair scratchy against his palm. Fingertips wedged into the crease of Lewis’ ass, he gripped hard, lifting and pulling in one movement, grinding his rigid shaft against Lewis’. And…Lewis froze.
It was only for the barest of moments, but Ty felt it cut through him. This could all still be tracked back to the night he’d broken up with Lewis and Crissy. He’s wrong. Ty felt like that mistake would follow him forever. I’m the one who needs to do the reassuring. “I want you, Lewis. That means I want to touch you.” He adjusted his grip, thrusting with his hips to create more friction. “I wanna feel you.” He held Lewis tight with the arm around his shoulders, retrieving his other hand to reach around and cup Lewis’ hard cock. “I wanna taste you.”
Lewis pulled back and stared at him, gaze dragging down across Ty’s features, snagging on his mouth when Ty knowingly licked a long stripe across his lower lip, curling his tongue at the end of the motion. He grinned when Lewis muttered, “Fucker.”
Ty lifted his hand and cupped Lewis’ cheek, thumb working across that sharp cheekbone, swiping a soft path back and forth under his eye. “That’s me.” He slow-motion scratched at Lewis’ scruff, smiling when the man leaned into the pressure.
“You sure, Tyler? Ain’t anything I’ll ever demand from you.” Lewis shook his head. “Or Crissy, and you know that’s a fact.” Ty did, having listened to Lewis coach them both on the importance of asking for what they wanted, and speaking up if anything was happening they weren’t okay with. “You want things to stay the way they are, we’re all good with each other as
is. You know? What we have is good. So fucking good. I don’t want to fuck it up.”
And there it is, Lewis’ fear laid bare.
“You didn’t fuck it up before, Ralph.” If Lewis could pull out his full name, he could do the same. “That’s on me. All on me.”
“I did. I took before you were ready. I didn’t ask what you were going through, just flowed along the surface of everything, and that…Ty, that nearly cost me everything.” Lewis swallowed hard, and Ty’s gaze tracked the action of that mouthwatering Adam’s apple he’d been attentive to earlier. “Nearly cost me everything that matters.”
“Actually, you nearly saved us weeks of pain.” Ty shook his head when Lewis tried to step backwards, following closely. “No, Lewis, you stay right here. I like you up against me, like feeling your strength pitted to mine. You stay right where you are and listen.” He narrowed his eyes. “You wanted to talk, I was willing to go without that if we could work it through, but we can’t, so we’ll talk. But it’ll be here on my terms, on our feet, my junk mashed up against yours, the heat of your skin on mine. Because when we’re done talking—and by we, I mean me, because I’m the one who broke things to begin with—I will still want all the things I want right now.” He shrugged, the corner of his mouth lifting crookedly. “Just, maybe you’ll believe me then.”
“Talk to me. You talk, I’ll listen.” Lewis grazed his lips across Ty’s, the rough bristle of his scruff electrifying. “And then I’ll talk.” He grinned, the tip of a finger tracing down the curve of Ty’s ear. “Then we’ll move on to the naked wrasslin’.”
“Promise?” Ty heard the question fall from his mouth and he winced, because it sounded so damned hopeful and vulnerable, and way too much like some little thirteen-year-old with a hopeless crush on someone entirely out of his league. But isn’t that the way I feel about 90 percent of the time?
“Promise you, Tyler.” Lewis rested his forehead against Ty’s, his eyes slipping closed as he breathed deeply. “I promise you will do everything you’ve been thinking about. Everything I’ve been holding off on. Everything.”
Chapter Three
Lewis
Knees locked, he stood, chest pressed against Ty’s bare one, listening to the man breathe. In and pause, then out in a controlled rush. Lewis deliberately slowed his breathing to match, the heat of Ty’s skin radiating through him, hating the coiled tension of the toned muscles under his palm. It took a moment, but Ty finally cleared his throat indicating he was ready to speak. Lewis braced, ready for the worst.
“When you came over that night, I was already worked up for a fight. If you’d’ve taken a swing at me, it woulda made my damn night, I was that wound up. I’d already smashed Crissy to pieces with my words, left her standin’ in her apartment cryin’, and I was just holdin’ tight to whatever anger I could still muster up, which wasn’t a fuck of a lot. It hurt.” Lewis opened his eyes when Ty paused, closing them quickly to hide from the pain in his face. “So goddamned bad. Like nothin’ I’d ever felt before. You know?”
“I do. I do, Ty. You weren’t alone in that.”
“No, but I caused it. I made that out of whole cloth, and I knew. I fuckin’ knew what I’d done. Lewis, that’s the worst thing, the part I can’t get past, is I knew in the moment it was the wrong decision, but I couldn’t stop it. Not by myself. I couldn’t stop it.”
“You tried.” Lewis offered him an out, not expecting him to take it, and was unsurprised when Ty shook his head, arm tightening around Lewis as he leaned forwards to bury his face in the crook of his neck. He’s carryin’ so much fuckin’ pain. It was killing Lewis to hear Ty like this. “Yeah, you fuckin’ did, baby. I was there, I know.”
“I didn’t do enough. I fucked up, and then it was like a slow-motion wreck, you know? I could see it coming and didn’t want it, really truly didn’t want it, but I couldn’t seem to help myself stop it.” His shoulders jerked, and Lewis wrapped him up, both arms around his back, holding on tight. “I fuckin’ love you, man. I love Crissy, and you, and I still wrecked it all.”
“You chased the fuck outta me in that apartment.” Lewis stretched the fingers of his hand, reaching for and playing with the ends of Ty’s hair that dangled down his back. We need to get to the fun part of the night, let me put his mind to rest. “Chased me, pressed me into the wall. Rocked my goddamned world, because it was everything I wanted. That’s when my fuckup compounded yours.”
“You didn’t fuck up.” The words burst from Ty as he tried to push away, but this time it was Lewis who held fast. He forced Ty to stay in place until he finally relaxed, head a welcome weight resting on Lewis’ shoulder. More than a minute later, Ty picked up the conversation again, the solid embrace seeming to bolster him enough. “You didn’t, Lewis. You, everything you did, everything you gave me that day, it scratched and scratched at my anger, wearing down every fear, until—fuckin’ finally—there was a moment when everything felt in balance.”
“What happened to push it wonky? That’s what’s been tearin’ me up. I don’t know what I did to put a stop to it, and it was like you ran into a motherfuckin’ brick wall, man. One second you were there, and I knew it was too fast, too much, but you were into it and I…fuck, Tyler. I wanted it so goddamned bad, I let that want overrule my head and what I shoulda done. Then in an instant, you’d slammed on the brakes and we were headed towards that wall. I blinked, and you were shut down, and a moment later I was out the door, closing that on half of the best thing I’d ever held in my hand. I’ve spent hours tryin’ to see where I fucked up. Tryin’ to understand how I coulda done different by you, worked things out to keep you. I wanna keep you, Ty. More than anything, I wanna keep you.”
“I don’t know.” The lie colored Ty’s voice, made it shake and Lewis shook his head, thinking I cain’t let him get away with that bullshit. Ty’s cheeks colored, but he persisted with more deception. “No, I don’t.”
“Did I make you feel like that was why I was there? For a blowjob and sex?” Ty’s head shook side to side, but he’d fallen mute. I’m on the trail. “Like I was only in it for the feel-good times?” Another silent headshake. Goddammit, give me something. “Then what, Ty? What happened? You gotta fuckin’ talk to me, man. The only way we’re gonna get past it is to figure it out. Otherwise, I’m gonna keep fuckin’ up, because I’m scared I’m gonna do whatever it was again, make you leave us. Don’t leave us, Ty. Don’t.”
After an extended and frightening silence, Ty offered a not-at-all reassuring, “I won’t.”
“I’d have said you never would, but what happened, happened, and now it’s up to us to sort our shit out so any of us leavin’ ain’t a worry ever again. You’d talked to Ace earlier that day, right?” Ty sighed, the breath he huffed out sounding angry. “Okay, we’ll back up a bit. You said you were down in New Orleans, waitin’ on me, but I didn’t know, so I didn’t show. You spoke to Truman in the bar. What did he say?”
Once more, there was a period of silence that seemed to stretch on for hours. Lewis’ heart clenched and ached in his chest, because right now, right here, even holding his lover in his arms, he didn’t have full faith that everything would work out. He needed it to, wanted this relationship more than anything, just like he’d told Ty, but without understanding what had enabled the man to walk away before, he didn’t have any faith that they wouldn’t get there again.
“Boastful asshole.” Ty’s mutter was low and angry, scarcely more than a whisper, but even that was more than he’d given Lewis in the past few minutes, so he grunted and held his tongue. “He was claimin’ you’d fucked him.”
The accusation made Lewis’ head pound, teeth gritted with fury, but he held tight to his irritation, channeling the emotion into a statement he hoped would draw more out than a question might. “He said more than that.”
Added silence, this interrupted by Ty shifting, sliding to the side so he could burrow a little closer all along Lewis’ body. That’s good. At least he ain’t movin’ awa
y.
Still quiet, Ty’s sigh preceded his words by only a breath. “Said you had a cycle, pointed to Greg as an illustration.” Lewis’ instinctive reaction was to bunch his muscles, preparing for a fight already weeks in the past. He knew Ty had felt the flinch when he whispered softly, “Hush, Lewis. He’s dead and gone, and ain’t never gonna haunt you again.”
“If ever there was someone I regretted fuckin’, it’d be that man. And you know I never screwed Truman. I done told you that.” He heard the biting edge of anger in his voice and tried to tame it back. “What else was said? You told me all that, but you got caught up in talkin’ about Ace hearin’ everything, and that’s when I got pissed because you were takin’ lies and hearsay as truth and fact, and all without asking me. Didn’t even ask before you acted. Foolish man, playin’ foolish games with the hearts of everyone, because you couldn’t be bothered to fuckin’ ask a goddamned question.” Lewis pulled in a slow breath, unclenched his teeth, and gave a low demand he hoped Ty couldn’t ignore. “Now, what else was said that torqued you over?”
“I…I heard the asshole’s voice in my head, talkin’ about you. I’d been down by the suite, and we were outside Plaisirs Caches. He and I were standin’ on the sidewalk and he told me ‘Po’Boy doesn’t do relationships. It’s just sex to him.’ I knew he was wrong, but the idea stuck.” Ty’s body shook. “He said you played and had your fun, and then when you were done—you were good and done. I got spooked about Ace hearin’ the call, which he did, but the man clearly doesn’t give a shit, because you heard what he’s pushin’ me for.”
Lewis knew Ace was indeed pushing for a change in the CoBos leadership and had made it clear he expected certain commitments from Ty. That played back into the conversation Lewis needed to have with Twisted, but if he allowed Ty this sidebar, they might never get back on track to finally clearing the air. “Bring it back to us for now. We can talk club later, baby.” He twisted the strand of Ty’s hair around his finger, giving it a tiny tug. “Back to us, yeah?”
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