“Now we go home,” Ben said. “It’s this way.”
The moon was never full. But on some nights it glowed brightly, along with the ring of debris around it. The stars were bright too. It seemed to Ben that the universe itself wanted him to succeed. His nap on the transport had refreshed him. His face hurt, but the swelling was going down inside his nose. It didn’t feel as tight as before. His mouth was painfully dry, even though he sipped water from his emergency filter. Still, the excitement of getting safely back to the ship, and of testing the Zexum canister, drove him on.
“What if it’s empty?” Kim said.
“It’s not empty,” Ben said.
“Can you tell?” she asked. “I mean, just by holding it. Does it slosh around in there or something?”
“Zexum doesn’t turn to liquid,” Ben said. “It’s compressed gas.”
“So you can’t tell for sure.”
“There wasn’t a gauge on the nozzle,” Ben said.
“Well, what if that canister was nothing more than a holding spot, sort of like plastic fruit used for decoration?”
“It’s not,” Ben said.
“It could be,” Kim said. “You got the reactor taken apart pretty easily. It might be where they teach students how to build and repair them.”
“Then why the safety conditions in that lab?” Ben argued. “No, they were testing something in there.”
“I hope you’re right,” Kim said. “If we get back, and the whole trip was for naught, I’m going to be angry. And I’m going to take my anger out on you.”
“Go figure,” Ben said.
Magnum chuckled.
“It’s not funny,” Ben told him. “She’s being serious.”
They made good time through the salvage yard, despite the darkness. Ben feared running into Scalpers, but luck seemed to be on their side. Tension ran high when they were finally in view. Ben couldn’t breathe easy until they were on the Echo. He let the others through first. When he slipped inside the cargo bay, Kim already had the lantern lit. Ben turned and began closing the hatch using the manual lever.
“Here,” Kim said, pushing him aside. “We can do that. Get your precious gas to engineering and find out if we have enough to get off this rock.”
Ben wanted to argue, but he was too excited. He hurried past the stairs that led up to the main level and circled around to the engineering department. It was a long, rectangular room with big machines from the main engine to the artificial gravity generator.
His first stop was at the auxiliary batteries. They showed a total charge of just under half. He reached for the controls, and for the first time ever, turned all the lights in the engineering bay on to full.
Bright light filled the expansive department. He could see all of his beloved machines clearly, as bright as if they had suddenly been exposed to the full sunlight of midday.
He took the canister out of the coveralls and unwrapped it. Then looking up at one of the cameras, he held the prize up.
“This is it,” he said. “I’ve got a gauge somewhere. Give me a minute.”
There was no response. He knew Nance was watching, and probably Kim and Magnum too. Ben was a stickler for order in his department. Everything had a place. He hurried over to a built-in tool cabinet. A short search turned up a manual gauge that could be attached to the canister. It was a round gauge with a needle. He had taken it from an ancient helium tank long ago. The gauge screwed onto the canister, and with a deep breath, he pulled the safety pin. The pressure of the gas in the canister gave a reading. Tears filled his eyes as he looked up at the security camera to share the news.
Chapter 22
“It’s full,” Ben said. “There’s more than enough to start the fusion reaction.”
“Not until we run a final systems check,” Nance said.
“And maybe a full night’s sleep,” Kim added.
“Roger that,” Ben said.
“What’s with the radio lingo, Ben?” Kim asked. She had a cold pack held against her face and was sitting in the pilot’s seat directly in front of the large view screens.
“I’m just a little excited, that’s all,” Ben said.
He had rushed up onto the bridge after securing the canister of Zexum gas in the housing below the fusion reactor.
Kim swiveled around in her seat. The others were slightly elevated at their stations, which formed a semicircle around the cockpit. She had to admit the Kestrel class vessel was well designed. Built for a single pilot, she could control the vessel from her reclining seat, manipulate the artificial gravity, transition between hard vacuum and atmospheric flight, all without ever getting up.
There were a few empty stations. They didn’t have a communications officer or a navigator, but Nance could effectively run all the systems from her computer station. It made for a tidy ship in Kim’s opinion.
“Just don’t get ahead of yourself,” Kim said. “We’re all anxious to break orbit, but this is an old ship.”
“She’s ready,” Ben said.
He looked tired. There was still traces of dried blood on his face, and since pulling off the coveralls, everyone could see the blood stains on his shirt.
“We’re safe for the night,” Nance said. “And the computer will run diagnostics through the night. Why don’t we all get some rest? I’m sure you three could use it.”
“She’s right,” Kim said. “Tomorrow morning will be soon enough to test your contraption.”
“It’s going to work,” Ben said, grinning happily. “You’ll see.”
The look on his face was so full of hope that Kim couldn’t help but smile. Her desire to get off Torrent Four, and actually pilot a real ship, was growing stronger all the time. Despite the dark circles around Ben’s eyes, she thought he looked handsome. It scared her more than she wanted to admit to let her feelings for Ben grow. There had been a time when they were younger when she could have loved him. But their lives had moved in different directions, and she couldn’t help but believe it would probably happen again. She was flattered that he had come looking for her when his ship was ready to fly, but she also knew he had no other connections. The only pilot he knew was the same woman who had turned away from his dream to pursue her own passions almost a decade earlier, and yet fate had brought them back together.
No, she thought, not fate. She was a strong believer in free will. There were no cosmic forces controlling her life. And while she appreciated what Ben was doing, she didn’t know if she could be happy living on the Echo permanently. It was a fine ship, and he had done an excellent job putting her back together. Even her quarters were in good shape. The long, narrow room was clean and well organized. Kim appreciated having her own space. Most of her life had been spent sharing space with others, and a great many nights she had camped under her kite in the slot canyons. Knowing they were secure in the Echo was more luxury than she was used to. Having her own private quarters seemed incredibly lavish.
There was even a small bathroom in the back of her berth, with an actual shower. Ben had found mirrors that weren’t cracked somewhere in the vast salvage yards or among the hulking wrecks of space cruisers that had crash-landed on Torrent during the war. She got to her feet, ran a hand over the back of her chair, and let herself feel a sense of pride and ownership in the old Kestrel class vessel.
It could all end in a moment, she knew that. The whole thing might go up in a ball of fire when Ben started the fusion reactor. Or engine trouble could send them crashing down on their maiden voyage. Nothing in life was safe. Security was an illusion. The best she could do was to ensure that everything under her control was ready, including contingencies. With that thought in mind, she stopped beside Ben’s engineering station.
“We need space suits,” she said.
“What?”
“In case we lose atmo,” she said.
“That’s not going to happen,” he replied confidently.
“Hoping for the best isn’t my strong suit. I’m not sayi
ng you have to get it right now, or even before we leave, but we all need to have a suit. Just in case of emergencies.”
“Yeah, okay,” Ben said. “I’ll look into that.”
She smiled at him. The swelling around her eye was going down. The cold pack helped. And part of her hoped he could see that she was proud of what he had accomplished.
“You want some help cleaning up?”
“No,” Ben said. “I’ve got this. Try to get some sleep.”
“That won’t be a problem,” Kim said, stifling a yawn. “See you in the morning?”
“Sure,” Ben said. “Good night.”
She walked to her quarters feeling as if she had done something wrong. After going inside and closing the door, she sat on her bed. It was clean. The mattress was covered with a sheet, and there was a blanket and an old quilt to cover up with, but she didn’t pull back the bedclothes. Instead, she reviewed her actions in her mind.
Had she said something wrong? She didn’t think so. Perhaps she hadn’t shown enough enthusiasm. Perhaps her skepticism over the fusion reactor had hurt his feelings. He hadn’t acted as if he were hurt. So why, she wondered, did she feel as if she had done something wrong?
In the bathroom, she looked at her eye. It was red, but it had opened enough that she could test her vision. No permanent damage, she thought, but her face was painful to touch. She pulled off her clothes and crawled beneath the covers. Her room was nice, but it lacked any personality. She hadn’t had the time or the inclination to decorate. The truth was, she hadn’t expected to stay as long as she had. If the ship really was flight worthy, she would decorate. At least a little. A comfortable chair might be nice. Perhaps she would have the opportunity to pick up a few knickknacks on their travels. Hopefully, more clothes.
She turned off the light and lay in darkness. The ship was quiet. An intruder would have to break into the ship’s hull, which would be nearly impossible without major machinery. And even if someone could get into the ship, her cabin was locked. She was as safe as she’d probably ever been, but she felt a tremor of fear. Ben felt too far away. And maybe her fear wasn’t for her life but for a different kind of loss. Maybe she had begun to think that her dreams could come true. Was it really possible that they could leave Torrent Four behind? Perhaps even possible that she could love someone?
Her entire body tensed at the very thought of love. If she had learned anything in her life, it was that love was dangerous. Love made people do stupid things, and she refused to let herself even contemplate something as dangerous as love.
She rolled onto her right side and closed her eyes. The key was staying in the moment, she thought to herself. Enjoy the soft bed. Enjoy the relative safety of her life at that moment. Let the hope of flying fill her with joy. Tomorrow would be a new day, and she would face it when it came. Sleep was sweeping her away and she let herself go. There was no worry in sleep, no pain. Just blissful oblivion, which was more than enough for her at that moment. Her last thought, before she drifted off to sleep, was happiness that she would be present in the morning when hopefully Ben’s dream came true. With that wonderful thought, she fell asleep.
Chapter 23
On the bridge, Nance watched Ben go off to bed. She knew him well, knew he was hurting. She even noticed the tension in his posture. There was excitement in the air, but also fear. They had done everything possible to get the Echo ready to fly. But there were some things that couldn’t be tested outside of fueling the old ship up and taking off.
Kim was right about one thing: If they had made a mistake, the entire ship could be destroyed by the fusion reaction. She didn’t know how she would handle that. The Echo was more than the hope of a better life for her. It was her home, her whole world. When she went outside in the morning, it would be the first time she had set foot outside the old ship in months. If she lost it, she had no idea what she would do, or where she might find the strength to move on.
That thought was more frightening to her than anything. Death held less dread than losing the Echo. She turned her head to where Magnum sat quietly. He looked tired too, but happy. And there was something reassuring about his steady, quiet presence. She had missed it over the last few days and when he had gone with Ben to the canyon races.
“I’m glad you’re back,” Nancy said quietly.
He smiled and nodded, but didn’t speak. Still, his eyes looked at her. Not just at her features, or even her body, but at her. She felt like he saw her. He saw past the bulky clothes and the guarded expression on her face. He was unfazed by her fears and limitations.
Suddenly he got to his feet, and she feared he was going off to bed. But instead he moved closer to her, slipping into the small chair at the communication console right next to her. The fear that he would leave morphed into fear of what he might do. But he didn’t do anything. As she sat staring at her computer monitor, oblivious to the slowly compiling data on the screen, he just sat quietly.
Finally, she found the courage to speak. “You don’t talk much.”
“Not really,” he said, his voice soft.
“Why is that?”
“I guess I just got used to being alone,” he replied.
She looked at him. A feeling of sadness made her throat tight. She didn’t mind being alone, but she never doubted that Ben would be back sooner or later. He was her best friend, and a comfort. He had taken her in, given her space and the tools she needed to make her life worthwhile. He sometimes got caught out in the salvage fields, but he always came back sooner or later. The thought of Magnum being all alone made her feel frightened and sad for him.
“Do you like to be alone?” Nance asked.
“Sometimes. It’s hard to trust people.”
“I understand that feeling. That’s probably why I spend so much time with computers. They don’t leave.”
“Someone was foolish enough to leave you?”
She smiled, but it was a sad smile. Talking about her past always made her feel lonely and just a little desperate, so she changed the subject.
“Are you excited about tomorrow?”
He nodded.
“Ben said you really came through at the Big Market,” she said. “Without your help, they wouldn’t have been able to get the gas we need.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess.”
“You traded weapons for credits and got enough food for a month. I’d say you did more than your share.”
It was his turn to look away. She wasn’t sure, but she thought he looked embarrassed. Making other people feel at ease was not in her skill set.
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” she said.
“It’s nothing.
“Not to me, it isn’t,” Nance said. “I like having you here. It makes me feel like there’s nothing we can’t handle.”
“I’m glad,” he said. “Are you busy?”
“What? Me? Right now? Well, no. I’m just waiting for the computer to finish running its battery of tests on the ship.”
He stood up and took the single step that separated them. Her entire body trembled as he reached for her hand. In all her life, she had never felt so divided. One part of her wanted him to scoop her up and carry her away. He was so strong, so capable, just being near him made her feel safe. Yet, the other part of her wanted to run away. She couldn’t stand the thought of being hurt. It would be much better to simply remove the possibility. Feelings weren’t binary; they shifted and changed without cause or reason. The last thing she wanted was to be ruled by her restless, unreliable emotions.
When his hand touched hers, she had to force herself not to flinch. He took her hand and pulled her to her feet. She didn’t resist. He was taller than she was. Her head only came to the middle of his chest. He pulled her toward him and wrapped his long, thick arms around her. They didn’t speak, there was no need. She stood cocooned in his strong embrace, feeling the warmth of his body and listening to the steady rhythm of his heart beating in his broad chest.
&nb
sp; Chapter 24
Ben didn’t sleep much that night. He was excited about firing up the fusion reactor. The possibility that it wouldn’t work didn’t even factor into his mind. Other things might not work, but the fusion reactor was perfect. He was sure of that.
Still, it wasn’t his excitement that kept him awake. Nor was it the pain in his face. He was feeling better, especially after irrigating his nasal passages and finally being able to breathe normally again. His side hurt more than his face, but the injured rib wasn’t too terrible, more of a dull ache that flared up if he inhaled too sharply. What kept him awake were the mental images of the Salvage Scalpers he’d helped kill in the abandoned transport. No matter how hard he tried, when he closed his eyes, he saw their bodies flying apart. He saw them falling lifeless to the floor of the transport, blood spilling out of gruesome wounds he had inflicted.
In reality, he hadn’t inflicted all the wounds. The worst had come from Kim’s shot using the hand cannon. But, in Ben’s mind, the carnage was all the same. People had died and it was his fault. No, he reminded himself. They were the aggressors. No one had made them act that way. He certainly wasn’t to blame, but he felt a sense of terror and frightful responsibility no matter how he rationalized the violence.
When morning finally came, he was the first person up. He went to the upper level and ground a protein brick using a pestle and mortar. Once the protein was ground down into a powder, he mixed it with synthetic chocolate powder and water to make a sweet drink. There was enough for the others to have a full glass after Ben drank his fill. He sat looking up at the sky through the observation windows, waiting for the others to rise. Soon, he would be able to do what he had dreamed of for over a decade. The Modulus Echo would come to life again. Not in a barely discernible way using the solar panels to charge her auxiliary batteries, but with a real fusion reaction that would not only power every system but also recharge her batteries and allow the old ship to fly once again.
“Good morning,” Nance said, coming up the stairs.
Kestrel Class Page 11
