No. There are no easy answers. I know that, even if I’m having trouble accepting it.
“But you couldn’t lead in Sabine Valley because of your sister, right?” Aurora, savvy as always, narrows her eyes. “I heard the Amazons have had a bit of trouble.”
“A bit of trouble.” I sound bitter. I should keep my thoughts to myself, but the truth is that I can’t speak to any of my people about this. No matter if we’re in Carver City or Sabine Valley, we’re Amazons. We owe allegiance to our queen, flawed though she may be. We aren’t a people who expect blind obedience, but unless I’m willing to wade in and try to fix things, I have no place to talk in a way that might undermine my sister’s power further.
I shouldn’t talk to Aurora about it, either. No matter that she stands outside the hierarchy, she is still Hades’s creature. But… What does Hades care for other empires? He’s a spider in a web of his own making. If he keeps his finger on the pulse of neighboring cities, it’s only to serve the purpose of keeping our city stable.
I’m simply looking for an excuse. I open my mouth, but the server appears before I have a chance to decide if I want to shut down this conversation or indulge in it. Aurora cuts in and orders a salad before I have a chance to order for both of us, and amusement curls through me at her continued pushback. It’s what I want, after all. She delivers in spades. I order and wait for him to leave the room before I turn to her.
Apparently I do want to talk about things.
“My sister underestimated her enemy.” I still don’t understand why. The Paine family created one-third of the power structure that kept Sabine Valley running smoothly. There were conflicts, of course there were conflicts, but that’s what the quarterly feasts were designed to combat. They served that function perfectly when I was still in the city. Had things changed that much in the following decade that the Amazons and Mystics were willing to work together to oust the Paine family? I don’t know. My information is incomplete, and Aisling isn’t talking. “I don’t know what convinced her not to send people to hunt them to the ends of the earth, but they survived the coup eight years ago. During Lammas, the seven sons of our old enemy arrived and demanded to participate in the ritual combat.”
Aurora takes a sip of her wine. “Why not just kill them then and be done with it?”
“It’s forbidden. The laws of feast days are laws, if unwritten. No one can ignore them or they risk complete ruin. Every single person in Sabine Valley will turn against them.”
Aurora’s watching me closely, a strange look on her face. “It sounds like those guys have reason to want their revenge. Like they’re justified.”
“Undoubtedly.” I stare into my wine. “And they’ve earned it through the ritual combat. They took on seven of the best warriors the three leaders had to offer and won. It’s not the revenge that bothers me, it’s the method.”
“That seems rather nitpicky.”
“There are rules, Aurora. You take your revenge with the people responsible. You don’t go after those who had nothing to do with it.” My hand shakes, and I can’t tell if it’s anger or sorrow. I carefully set the glass back on the table. “Two nieces and my baby brother. They are the ones paying the price for my sister’s mistake. That is what I can’t forgive.”
She laughs awkwardly. “It’s really weird to think about you with family. You’re such a lone figure.”
That surprises me enough to look at her. “Did you never stop to think that there’s a purpose to that? When it comes to enemies, I am the only one with a target painted on my chest. No one will look at my people, at my friends, at my distant family, when they only have eyes for me.” I can see from her face that she never considered it, and why would she? I have spent so long being the ice bitch queen, it shouldn’t surprise me when that’s all people see. It’s the sole purpose of that role; though, after all this time, it hardly feels like a role any more. It’s simply me.
But it’s not all of me.
The sheer vulnerability that I just shared with her makes my skin crawl. I take a drink of wine and clear my throat. “That’s enough of that. Pull up your dress. I’m ready for an appetizer.”
14
Aurora
I almost welcome the sexual distraction. It’s easier to deal with than this new angle of Malone. I have watched this woman for years, waiting for the right opportunity. In all that time, I’ve never once seen her as anything other than a woman who worships at the altar of ambition and little else. Yes, she takes care of her people, but that doesn’t negate the damage she’s done or the people she hurts. It doesn’t change the fact that she took away one of the most important people in my life when I was far too young to withstand the loss.
I don’t know why it never occurred to me that Malone would have family, friends, people she cared about beyond Ursa. She was just an ambitious monster who wasn’t content with second place in Sabine Valley, so she came here to rule. Of course she didn’t care about the people she left behind.
I realize now that I’ve been making a lot of assumptions.
It doesn’t change what Malone did to my mother, but it also isn’t the sum of who she is. The knowledge shouldn’t change anything. There is a perfectly good steak knife sitting on the table between us. She’s relaxed and distracted. All I have to do is grab it and plunge it into her chest, bearing her down to the ground and cover her mouth so she can’t scream. I can almost picture it in my head. Almost. All I have to do is move, is attack, is act out the revenge that I was so sure I wanted when I agreed to this.
I will my hand to move. I will myself to ignore the barely shielded pain in her voice when she spoke about her nieces and brother. I shouldn’t want to comfort her. She’s my enemy. I close my eyes for a long moment, but the fire that encased me when I formed this plan flickers just out of reach. All I feel is a drenching sadness. I unclench my fist and open my eyes. It doesn’t have to be tonight. I can get my revenge later. “Is there anything you can do to help them?”
I half expect her to push the command, but she sighs. “No. The victor of the match sets the reward, and the reward they demanded for the loss in combat is handfasting. It was agreed upon by all parties. The ceremony was completed that night. There’s nothing we can do.”
I stare. I know Sabine Valley is a completely different environment, of course, but surely I didn’t misread Malone that badly. “Since when have rules ever stopped you from taking what you want?”
“Rules are there for a reason. The more you flout them, the more ammunition you give the people who work against you. A ruler is only in place through will of the people, whatever their motivation, be it fear or love or loyalty. The moment you start breaking your own rules is the first step toward the end. All the Brides agreed to the handfasting. If my sister attempts to kill the Paine brothers now, the entire city will build a pyre with her name on it and scramble over each other to light the first match.”
I shudder. Handfasting is a year-long marriage-type relationship. A year can be an eternity or a blink of an eye, but I can’t imagine being strong-armed into that situation with the enemy will be anything but torture. “Still. Isn’t there something to be done?”
She gives a faint smile. “My nieces and brother are made of sterner stuff than can be broken by this experience, and it’s not in the Paine brothers’ best interest to truly torture them. Every single person picked wasn’t part of the decision-making process that resulted in them being run out of town. That was no doubt intentional.” Her smile fades. “But it doesn’t change the fact that my sister made a misstep. She’ll have lost the trust of some of our people, and that is worrisome, especially when her heir is currently little more than a captive to Broderick Paine. It reeks of weakness for both of them, and that’s something the Amazons will never accept. If something happens…” She gives herself a shake. “It won’t. I don’t know why I’m musing on this.”
Because she’s got the mind of a general predicting the waves of a war. I lean forward, cu
rious despite myself. “What will happen if the Amazons lose faith in your sister and her heir?”
“We’re a matriarchal society. They’ll either skip to Aisling’s second daughter, Thea, or they’ll skip Aisling’s tree entirely.”
Understanding washes over me. “You’re second in line.”
“I am fourth in line,” she says tightly.
“But if they skip your nieces, you’re second.”
Malone looks away. “I don’t want the throne. There was a time when I did; it’s the reason I left, because I love my sister too much to unseat her. But I don’t want it now.”
She left Sabine Valley because she loved her sister too much to stage a coup. I don’t know why the thought rocks me. Everything about this conversation is turning my assumptions on their heads. It doesn’t change the core of who Malone is, but…
I need time to process this new information. That’s the only excuse I have for leaning in and kissing her. I can’t say that she commanded me and I’m obeying. It’s pure instinct. I can’t even pretend it’s entirely to distract—either me or her—because a small, traitorous part of me wants to chase away the lost look in her green eyes.
She goes still for the space of a heartbeat, as if I’ve surprised her, and then her hands are in my hair and she’s taking control of the kiss. I find my hands on her shoulders and, when she doesn’t stop me, I skate them down the slice of skin barred by her shirt. Her skin is so soft. I can’t believe I’m allowed to touch her.
I should be grabbing the knife perched at the perfect angle on the table, should be looking for a way to use this vulnerability against her. I just…can’t.
I have time. There will be other opportunities. I tell myself a thousand lies as I slip my hand into her shirt and cup her bare breast. She’s built small and perfect, and she inhales sharply against my mouth when I stroke my thumb over her nipple. Malone lifts her head a little. “So bold.”
“What? I’m not allowed to touch you?”
She shakes her head slowly. “Why did you say yes, Aurora? I know Hades gave you a choice about this assignation. You hate me. Why agree?”
I kiss her again instead of answering. I have a feeling she’ll see through whatever lie I can come up with, and I’m sure as hell not telling her the truth. No matter how carefully she touches me when we’re not in a scene, this woman is a brutal warrior. If she thinks I’m a threat, she’ll slit my throat and deal with the fallout later. And she can deal with the fallout. Hades might be furious, but he’s balanced too precariously to go to war over a single person, no matter how much he cares about me. He’s not the type to let his emotions get the best of him. There will be consequences, yes, but nothing Malone can’t survive.
She allows the kiss for a few long moments and then moves, shoving me back against the cushions on the floor and pushing up my dress to bare me from the waist down. Malone brackets my throat with one elegant hand and shoves two fingers into me with her other. “You don’t want to answer that.”
“No,” I gasp.
“Just like you don’t want to talk about your exes.” She strokes me slowly. “Do your other partners realize how much you keep back, Aurora? How you use sex to deflect from subjects you don’t want to discuss? It’s rather clever.”
I’ve had sex in front of other people more times than I can count. It’s a common occurrence in the Underworld. I’ve acted out fantasies upon fantasies over the years, dredged every single one of mine from the darkness and thrust them into the light. I’ve never done anything like this. We’re outside the kink community, outside the club, outside a personal residence. If someone walks in, they’re not going to expect to find Malone finger fucking me before dinner. It feels almost wrong, but in the most delicious way possible.
Part of that is pure Malone. She’s staring down at me with something wild in those green eyes, something fierce that calls to a part of me I’m still not entirely comfortable with. Her fingers flex at my throat, not cutting off my air at all, but making me feel chained in place. Held down. Captive. She slides her thumb over my clit. “Did you agree to this assignation to punish me?”
Too close to the truth.
I swallow hard, the movement pressing my throat more firmly against her palm. “Why would I want to punish you?” She doesn’t know who I really am. There’s no way she’d interact with me the way she does if she realized the woman she took everything from twenty years ago had a daughter. A daughter Malone is sliding a third finger into right now.
“Could be any number of reasons.” Her cheeks have gone a little pink and her lips are swollen from our kisses, her lipstick a little smeared. She strokes her middle finger against my G-spot, something like pure satisfaction flickering over her expression when I moan. “Maybe because I’ve been ignoring you for so many years.”
I laugh a little, though it comes out as a gasp. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I haven’t been hard up for company in the intervening time.”
“No, you haven’t.” She circles my clit again. “Pretty, popular Aurora. You’re everyone’s favorite, and yet you’re always left in the dust when they find their people to settle down with. They don’t see you, and the ones who do want to change you. They don’t appreciate you for the gift you are.”
I’m suddenly terrified that Malone truly does see me. I try to keep my mouth shut, try to just enjoy this without digging myself deeper into a hole I’m not sure I can climb out of. “Do you?”
“Fierce Aurora. Protective Aurora.” She picks up her pace between my thighs, driving me toward orgasm as if we’ve done this a thousand times before, as if she knows my body as well as I do. “Deadly Aurora.” Her smile is just as fierce as her eyes. “Yes, I see you.”
I orgasm. It’s just a physical thing, just a tiny death, but it feels like something’s shifting inside me. Like something is changing that I can’t afford to change, not if I want to keep my feet on the path I’ve trod for more than half my life.
It feels like forgetting.
I shouldn’t want to forget. I shouldn’t betray the memory of my mother, my grandmother. I am simply so tired. Tired of fighting, of plotting, of hope. That must be why I’m craving this woman’s touch. No one has ever undone me in the same way that she does. I’ve never craved that undoing the way I am now.
Malone gentles her touch, bringing me back down with the same expertise she ramped me up. She holds my gaze as she lifts her fingers to her lips and sucks them deep. Tasting me. My entire body clenches at the sight. It doesn’t matter that I just came, that she’s my enemy; I want her. “Malone—”
She ignores me and pulls my dress back down, smoothing it into place, her touch lingering on the sequins for a moment before she sits back. “I’m famished.”
“Malone.”
“Aurora.” The snap is back in her voice, the coldness I recognize… Though it’s different now. It feels brittle, like it might crack beneath my feet at any moment. Not like the deep permafrost it used to be. Or maybe that’s all in my head. I honestly can’t be sure.
It shouldn’t matter. It can’t matter.
I carefully sit up and move to a kneeling position. “Yes, Mistress.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?” I stare hard at the bright red of the cushion in front of me. “You want me to stop talking and stop pushing, right? Here I am, being obedient.” Why am I so angry? I should be happy that she’s reestablishing the proper boundaries between us, reminding us of our respective roles. I didn’t expect to need that reminder as much as she apparently does. That must be why I’m furious. It’s certainly not because she’s shutting me out.
She presses a single finger to my chin and guides my face up until I meet her gaze. “We’re not through talking.” Without looking away from me, she reaches to the middle of the table and presses the button to summon the server.
He arrives a few minutes later, bringing in our food, replacing our pitcher of water, and disappearing just as quickly. I
pick up my fork, but I’ve lost anything resembling an appetite. It’s so tempting to put the utensil down and just drink some more wine, but I can practically hear Allecto’s voice in the back of my head.
You want to defeat a warrior, Aurora? You have to train like one; and that includes eating.
A rousing pep talk when I was twenty-two. Now she just shoves extra protein on my plate any time she catches me during a meal. It’s annoying and endearing in equal measure, and with that in mind, I start working on the chicken scattered throughout the salad. “If we’re not finished talking, what are we talking about?”
“I would have thought it was obvious.” Malone cuts her chicken like she does everything else—with precise violence. “We’re going to talk about you.”
15
Malone
Aurora is no rabbit, but she certainly impersonates one when she’s backed into a corner. She freezes, and her eyes go wide. “Me? What could you possibly want to know about me that you don’t already?”
I eat a bite of chicken slowly before speaking again. “We’ve established that the innocent act doesn’t work on me. Try again.” It shouldn’t irritate me that she keeps throwing up shields, treating me like every other one of her patrons. Maybe it wouldn’t have before I forgot myself and told her too much about Sabine Valley and my family, though I doubt it. Aurora gets under my skin like no one else I’ve ever met, and I crave the truth of her.
She eats for several long moments, and I can practically see her considering and discarding strategies to react in a way that will get her what she wants. Which is obviously not to talk about herself.
If I weren’t already determined to find out more about this woman, her resistance would only pique my curiosity further. I focus on my meal but watch her out of the corner of my eye. I have thousands of questions about this woman, but best to start with a relatively simple one. “You’ve been in the Underworld for nine years.”
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