I knew she was ready for me, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold back. I wanted to fuck her hard and fast, but I needed to bring her up with me, and watch her explode all over my cock.
With my thumb stroking her clit she stirred again. This time, she moved her hips begging me to stroke her faster. I slipped the head of my cock inside her as I continued stroking her clit. I felt her body tense, then shudder violently as I brought her over the brink and into ecstasy. Yes. Give it all to me.
Even before her body could settle, I plunged my cock deep inside of her. She cried out my name and dug her finger nails into my shoulders.
“Please, James. Please, I…,” she begged softly in shallow breaths.
I didn’t hold back. I fucked her harder and faster, and she begged for more. I tried to hold back but she pulled me closer and met my thrust with her own.
“Fuck. I can’t… I… oh…Robin…” I cried out with an explosion of a release that ripped through my entire body. I collapsed on her trying to catch my breath. Even as I lay there, I could feel my body still trembling. Never have I felt such passion, such desire, such need.
I rolled onto my side and felt a bead of sweat run down my cheek. I brushed it away, and realized the rest of my face wasn’t sweat. How could sex bring me to tears? I never fucking cry. I’m not an emotional person. I don’t feel this deeply about anyone.
Pulling her close, I kissed her gently on the top of her head. Robin had already fallen asleep. I raised myself onto my elbow and looked down at her beautiful face. I could almost picture myself waking up to her each morning.
It was a crazy thought. This was just a vacation love affair for her. In a few more days she’d be back in Miami and I’d be who the hell knows where.
I felt another ache, this time it wasn’t my cock. The thought of one day never seeing her again, caused me physical pain.
Fuck. It happened without my even noticing. I love her.
Now there was a bigger issue. What the hell am I supposed to do about it?
I laid my head down, nestled close to her. Sleep was what I wanted, but answers were what I needed. Robin and I only had a few days left together and I have no clue as to what to do. If I can’t make an normal relationship work, how the fuck would I managed to maintain a long distance one?
No matter how I looked at it, the end result was the same, failure. My options are break her heart now, or later.
Whoever would’ve thought I’d be breaking my own in the process?
Chapter 17
Robin
We’ve been back in Tabiq for three days and everything was perfect, and yet, not at all either. My days were filled with working on the teakwood business proposal, while each night, James and I had dinner together and then spent our nights making love. It was a routine that one could easily get used to, but was going to abruptly come to an end.
There was only so busy I could keep myself so I didn’t think about it 24/7. It didn’t matter my feelings on the subject. Logically, we didn’t work. We’re two different people and our lifestyles don’t mesh. Even if I made some changes to mine, James made it clear what he wanted and none of it included settling down anytime soon, if ever.
Thankfully I had other things that needed my attention right now. The clock was ticking on them as well.
I needed to talk this through with someone. But who could I tell that wouldn’t ask me a million questions that I didn’t want to answer? It was all so damn confusing and when I think I have it figured out, nothing adds up.
Zoey, why did you have to leave so fast? I really could use you right now.
Looking out the window I debated on taking a walk on the beach. Maybe it’d help clear my head. The odds were once I was out there James would come strolling by and any chance of thinking clearly would vanish.
That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. I only had three days left of vacation and I wanted them to be as stress free as possible.
The room phone rang and I went to answer. Please be James.
“Good morning.”
“Hi Robin. It’s Ziva.”
This was a pleasant surprise. “Hi. How are you?”
“I’m good. Checking to see if you how you were making out with that business proposal you’re doing for Zoey.”
Shit. She told you about that?
I could feel my pulse pounding in my head all over again. I knew I should’ve taken that walk on the beach.
“I’m working on it.”
“That sounds like it’s not going so well. How can I help?” she asked.
Do it for me?
“I know what I want to say, but somehow every time I start to put it on paper, it doesn’t feel right. Like it’s…missing something.”
“Do you have all the facts that you need?” she asked.
I knew I did. “There isn’t a detail missing. The plan includes everything from how many trees a year, to which age trees can be harvested. Also what the trees will be utilized for as well as where the items will be marketed,” I said. “I even had it listed out the percentages set aside for future developments.”
“It does sound like you thought about everything. So why don’t you think it’s finished?”
“Because it’s missing something and I have no idea what. Normally I’d have a coworker read it through to see if they could figure it out. But I am sworn to secrecy. That means I’m all on my own on this one,” I sighed.
“No you’re not. You have me. My husband Alex. Bennett is still here too. And don’t forget that handsome fella of yours, James.”
Ha. He’s not my guy. “I…don’t want anyone to think I can’t do this.” I didn’t mean for those words to be spoken out loud. “I mean, Zoey asked me to do it.”
“Robin, did she say you had to do it all alone?” I shook my head and Ziva continued. “Then don’t. One thing I have learned since marrying Alex is life is so much better, easier, when you lean on each other. It was a hard transition, but what a difference it has made in my life.”
Leaning on someone else wasn’t easy for me. My uncle and father expected me to pull my weight in the firm and doing so on my own. “That’s a new concept for me.”
“Do you want my help?” she asked.
“I’d love it. Should I get the proposal?” I asked.
“Nope. I already know what you’re missing,” she said.
That was amazing, and also very discouraging. Ziva didn’t even look at page one and already she believed she knows what I missed. It must be huge and I must be blind. I’d hear her out because it was the respectful thing to do. But I highly doubted whatever she had to say would be beneficial.
“What’s missing?” I asked.
“Tabiq,” she said.
If Ziva would’ve actually read the proposal, she’d see that Tabiq is all over the document. “I’ll double check it. Thank you.”
“You don’t understand do you?”
I’m trying. “Actually, no.”
Ziva said. “You’re doing a proposal like you would as an attorney. What you need to do is write it like you were a Tabiqian. Put the heart of the people on the paper. Facts are good, but we are not a corporation. We are a people.”
Oh my God. Why didn’t I see that. “Ziva, you’re right. I was so busy making sure that there was no loop holes that I forgot who I was preparing it for. It’s not a business proposal. It was supposed to be something Tabiq could be proud of. Something they could be known for and pass the trade down for generations.”
“See. You get it now,” Ziva said. “I’m glad I could help.”
“So am I. Now all I need to do is go and re-write it.”
“You can do that or you can leave it as it is,” she said.
“But you just told me to put Tabiq in it,” I said. It needed to be fixed. It was my job to fix it.
“Not on the paper Robin. I meant in you. Keep it in you and then when you talk about all those fact on the paper, they will mean so much more,” Ziva explained.
“Ziva, I think Zoey picked the wrong person to do this. Obviously you could do this with your eyes closed.”
She laughed. “I know my people. Paperwork? Not so much. But Robin, I have seen you with Lily. I heard what you have done for her. You have the heart of a Tabiqian woman.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I knew it was meant as a compliment. “Thank you.”
“Now would you like a little bit more advice?” she asked.
That last one was right on the money. I’d be a fool to pass up more. “Sure. What do you suggest?”
“That you hang up this phone and spend the rest of your vacation doing something you enjoy.”
“I like helping people. This paperwork is important to Tabiq,” I said. Usually I could get lost in the legal verbiage. But that hasn’t been the case. I was losing my interest in what normally made me happy. What scared me is I would return to Miami and still not have the spark that I used too.
“Robin, you can’t help anyone until you first take care of yourself. So please, enjoy your vacation. Make memories. And when you go home, take a piece of Tabiq with you. Because we would be honored if you decided to come back and visit us again,” Ziva said.
“I will. I promise,” I said then hung up the phone.
There was something special about this place. The resort was five-star and you couldn’t ask for better treatment. But it felt more like home, even more than my real home. Leaving was going to be harder than I imagined.
Although I promised Ziva I would be back, I had no idea when. My reality was work, work and more work. Maybe that’s why this place made me feel like I’ve never felt before.
I don’t want this to end.
I never thought I’d say it, but I didn’t want to go back. I knew what was waiting for me. Piles of paperwork, court dates booked and clients calling me at all hours of the day wondering what I was going to do to help them. But what about what I need? Do I even know what that is?
Before coming to Tabiq I thought that was making partner at the firm. Now that title seems more like a pair of cement shoes. It wasn’t going to be easy, but I was going to need to tell my father that I don’t want to be a defense attorney any longer.
I don’t want to be a lawyer at all.
My heart pounded with this revelation. I had to travel half way around the world to learn I wasn’t happy in my life. There was still a problem what I hadn’t resolved. What do I want? I couldn’t go home and sit on a couch staring at the television waiting for an epiphany. Like this proposal, I needed a plan.
This one needed Robin in it, not Tabiq.
Walking over to the desk I pulled out a notebook and pen. It was ridiculous, but I was going to map out my life plan.
I spent the next few hours writing things and crossing them out. It was surprising that this was much more difficult than most defense plans I have written. As I looked it over, I saw my problem. It listed what I wanted. Also included my goals in detail including how I would achieve them. But there was a category that I hadn’t even given much thought too. A family.
Did I want love, a husband and children? God, it’s crazy but I’ve never even changed a baby’s diaper. What kind of wife and mother would I make?
A horrible one.
I could picture it. All of us sitting down as family to dinner, one that I cooked, and we all talked about our day. I’d tell my husband about the walk in the neighborhood park that I had taken out children and how they loved the swing set best. He’d promise me to have one built in our back yard so our expanding family could enjoy it every day. He do anything for our children, and proved it all the time. But the nights were for us. We’d spend hours talking about our dreams, our future. And then when the lights went out, we’d show each other just how much we loved each other.
I sighed. It was picture perfect except for one issue. None of that was achievable. At least not for me. Not only am I not the stay at home mom type, but I’ve never had a connection with anyone I’d want that with.
Not till James.
I didn’t need to put James on paper to know he wasn’t looking for the same thing. James just wanted to be in the Marines again. From what I knew, that wasn’t possible.
Fate sure does like to mess with us when we’re not looking.
I felt for him. At least he knew what he wanted. I just wish he could still have it. Here I was searching for mine.
I forced myself not to think about James and think solely about myself. It took time but eventually it started to come together. I had listed what I wanted, my goals, and how I was going to reach them. That was more than I thought I could accomplish in just a few hours. But I knew the document was far from complete.
I started a new page and this time, I was including my personal life. Never had I thought about love, marriage and children. But they are something I want. And not working at the law firm, I might actually have time to fulfill these dreams, desires.
There were just a few things standing in my way.
How am I going to tell Dad I don’t want to be a lawyer anymore? And how was I going to find the family I want when the man I want it with has more walls up around his heart than I do?
There was no set time period of finding the second part. That would come naturally. That only left me with the issue at hand.
Should I call Dad now, or wait till I’m back in Miami?
I wasn’t taking the coward’s way out. When I go home in a few days, it will be to close that chapter in my life. It won’t be that easy. I have things that need to be finished, and clients who will need to be moved over to my Dad or my uncle. But once my calendar is clear, I’ll be free to start working on what I want.
Too bad I can’t have who I want too.
Can’t have it all in life.
My cell phone buzzed and I looked at the text.
MISSING YOU. James said.
It touched my heart seeing those words. He’d left my bed earlier this morning, but even before he’d left my hotel room, I was already missing him. I couldn’t bare the thought of what it was going to be like when we no longer see each other, hold each other.
It felt like a knife twisting in my heart. I’ve falling in love for the very first time, and now all I can do is count the hours until my heart shatters into a million pieces.
Why can’t this vacation last forever? Eleven days with James was far from enough. Even a lifetime would see too short.
All I could do was make the most of the last night he and I had together. I told myself I wouldn’t cry. I won’t be sad. I’ll act like this isn’t killing me.
Guess I’m going to need an academy award performance if I’m going to pull that off.
It needed to start now. I kept my text response short and simple.
MISS YOU TOO. I’M THINKING WE TRY SOMETHING NEW FOR DESSERT TONIGHT. I teased. Since neither of us ate sweets, he knew I was referring to sex.
Might as well give him something to remember me by. And since this was going to be our last night making love, I planned on being awake all night, making sure we make every second count.
SOUNDS DELICIOUS. He said.
I tossed my phone on the couch, leaned back and closed my eyes.
Oh I wish we could have it all. But our eleven days in paradise is about to end.
Chapter 18
James
I’ve been back from Boston for a few days now and the only thing that I enjoyed about being here was spending my nights with Robin. That was about to come to an end. And what Bennett just said, only added to my already bad mood.
Bennett had to know this wasn’t what I wanted. Fuck, I’m an all in the action type of guy. Tabiq is too…quiet. If anyone should understand what I was looking for, it should be Bennett. He used to be the same way.
Guess marriage and a couple of kids changed that.
But I had neither in my future. The woman I love is leaving tomorrow and all I want is my life to go back to normal. My greatest fear was this was my �
�new normal’ and I hated it.
“James, I’d really love to have you on board. Think about this and give me your answer tomorrow,” Bennett said.
It wasn’t want I had wanted. I understood Bennett’s reasoning for offering me the position. He wanted and needed to be able to spend more time in the US with his family. Since I didn’t have one, it wasn’t as though I would be giving up anything by staying in Tabiq. At least not in Bennett’s eyes. For me, it felt like I was being put out to pasture.
“Bennett, I was looking for something more heavily involved with the rest of the team.” Something where there’s some action instead of feeling like I’m a beach bum.
“I know things have been quiet since you arrived in Tabiq. I consider that a good thing. That isn’t always the case. We got lucky this time. The Chief of Police was able to apprehend Vecca and the others without our assistance. Even the guns were confiscated. In the past it’s gotten ugly. Men were wounded on both sides. If I have my choice, I’ll take quiet any day.”
Loss of life was something I didn’t want either. “Then maybe it’s time to consider the fact the team is not needed any longer,” I stated.
“If only that was possible. Tabiq may have come a long way, but even the police know that if the Hendersons and I pull out, it’s only a matter of time before someone else steps in. Someone without the Tabiqian people’s best interest at heart. You know as well as I do what would happen,” Bennett said. “And I’m not sure Tabiq could recover twice.”
The more I learned of the history of Tabiq, the more the horror stories stuck in my gut. These people had been through hell. No one should have to face it once, never mind be worried of going through it again. I’ve dedicated my life to protecting those who couldn’t protect themselves. Was staying here, taking this offer, any different? Just because I’m not in a uniform any longer, doesn’t mean it’s any less important.
“You really believe I’m the person you want here?” I asked.
Eleven Days in Paradise (Barrington Billionaires Book 11) Page 14
