by April Henry
“Let’s talk about it over lunch.” Laurel opened the door. Once we were both inside, she pressed her lips to my ear. “He knows.”
“What?”
Laurel put her hand on my arm, then continued to whisper. “Richter called even before the jail did. He said the cops might contact me, but I couldn’t bring you back to Portland. I thought Matt was asleep, but when I hung up the phone, he was standing in the doorway. He heard enough to guess some of it, and I ended up telling him the rest. He’s very angry with me.” She resumed her normal voice. “Hungry?”
Her expression told me what I was supposed to answer. “Yeah. I haven’t eaten since yesterday.” Maybe Laurel was right to be paranoid. After all, the FBI had hidden a recorder in my watch.
In silence, we drove to a diner. Since it was only eleven A.M. on a weekday, there was hardly anyone in the place. “Just seat yourself,” the skinny waitress said.
Laurel made a beeline for a booth in the back. It wasn’t until I was next to the bench seat that I saw someone was already there. It was my father, his back to the street, hidden by the tall booth.
I did a double take. Instead of jeans and a flannel shirt, Matt was wearing a suit and tie. I had never seen him wear a tie before in my life. His beard was trimmed close to his chin, and his hair didn’t even reach his earlobes.
When I leaned down to hug him, he quickly pulled me in beside him. I started to cry again, and he patted my back and made soothing noises. It was so good to see him. Even though I had only been gone from home for three days, it seemed like years. Laurel sat down on the opposite side of the booth, alternately looking at me and the door.
“We have pretty much zero advantages, so we have to hold on tight to the few we do have,” Matt said softly as he patted my hair. “And one of those is that they don’t know that I know. I borrowed Frodo’s car”—Frodo was the nickname of an old friend they had known since college—“and made sure no one was following me. We have to figure out how to get you out of this mess.”
“I can’t come home.” I tried to say the words like I meant them. “I need to stay here with MED so I can get the FBI the evidence it needs. I probably made the MEDics even more determined to do something. I told them that yesterday morning I saw a lynx.”
Laurel covered her mouth with her hand. Her surprise reawakened the wonder I had felt when I first saw it.
“You saw one?” Matt asked. “A real lynx? In Oregon?”
Laurel leaned forward. “Was it beautiful?”
I closed my eyes for a second, saw the mama lynx again in my mind’s eye, her beauty and her absolute wildness. “It was amazing. And she was carrying a kit in her mouth.”
“After thirty years . . .” Shaking her head, Laurel let her words trail off.
The waitress poured us all coffee and took our order. Laurel and I got omelets, and Matt asked for French toast. After she left, Matt said, “Why can’t the FBI just keep the MEDics locked up? If they’re all in jail, then they can’t hurt anyone.”
“The problem is, we didn’t do very much damage before the cops came,” I said, taking a sip of coffee. “About the worst the others can be charged with is vandalism. The FBI thought everyone but Cedar would make bail today. And Hawk got away clean.”
“You’re not going back to MED, no matter what the FBI thinks,” Matt said decisively.
“Matt’s right,” Laurel said. “When we were arrested, I was so afraid I wasn’t thinking straight. But when I got that call from Richter, I came to my senses. Now I’m not letting you out of my sight. We’re going back to Portland, and we’ll find a lawyer and fight this thing.”
“It won’t work.” Even though I wanted to believe I could quit, I knew it wouldn’t happen. “The FBI says they’ll put you in prison and that they’ll make sure you die before anyone listens to us.”
Saying the word “die” out loud made it seem even more possible. Matt’s brown eyes were snapping with anger, but his skin was all the wrong color, a pale gray with purple shadows under his eyes. After spending just a night in jail, I knew how impossible it would be for Matt.
Matt put his hand on top of mine. “It’s the parents who protect the children, Ellie, not the other way around. We’ll take our chances. And if we have to go to jail, so be it.”
“But it won’t just be you in prison. They said if I didn’t do what they wanted, they would make sure I was charged as an adult for the Hummer dealership.” I took a deep breath. “So I’ve decided I’m going to do like they said. I’m going back to MED, and I’ll stick with them for just a little bit longer.”
“No.” Matt shook his head. “Absolutely not. We’re not going to leave you alone any longer, Ellie.”
His jaw was set. I knew he meant it.
“How about this?” I said. “I know where the MEDics are staying. It’s a dump of a motel. Get a room there and keep watch. And if it looks like I need your help, I’ll find a way to signal you.”
Matt and Laurel stared at each other for a long time. Finally, Matt nodded. “All right,” he said. “We’ll do it. But you have to promise me that you’ll bail if things get too dicey.”
“I will,” I said. “But the FBI will be keeping an eye on me, too. It turns out they already know where I am at all times.” I tapped a finger on my watch. “They gave me this watch because it can record conversations. There’s also a GPS device in it so that they can keep track of me. So if anything happens, they’ll get there without my needing to call them.” I didn’t tell them about my recording Ponytail. It was an insurance policy, but I didn’t think it was enough by itself.
As we got up to leave, I looked down at my wrist with loathing. The watch felt like a dog collar. But, I vowed to myself, this dog was going to turn around and bite.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
“Sky!”
I heard my name as I walked past Blue’s Volvo in the motel parking lot. Startled, I whipped around. Coyote stepped out from an alcove at the back of the motel that held two vending machines.
I dropped my backpack and ran to him. For the moment, our argument from the day before was forgotten. We just held each other for a minute, rocking back and forth, and then he kissed me. His mouth tasted like coffee and apples. I let myself kiss him without thinking, without holding anything back.
At last I pulled away and looked past him at the closed door at the end of the row. “Are the others already here?”
His fingers encircled my wrist. “Keep your voice low. Hawk has my cell, so I couldn’t call you. I told them I was going to look for you, but really I just wanted to warn you off. I don’t think you should go in there, Sky.”
Why did Hawk have Coyote’s cell? “Where else am I supposed to go?” I said.
“How about home? I heard you got released to your mom’s custody. Turn around right now before the other MEDics know you’re here. Get out of here, call your mom and say you want to go home.”
“Some things are more important, you know that,” I made myself say. “It’s why you’re here. MED is important. The lynx is important.”
It started to rain, and the alcove provided little shelter. Lightning sliced the sky, followed almost immediately by a deafening crack of thunder.
“Come on,” Coyote said. “Let’s get out of the rain.”
I left my backpack in the alcove, and together we ran to Blue’s car. I scooted into the backseat until the armrest on the far side dug into my back. I couldn’t afford to be too near him now, not when I felt so close to breaking down and leaving the craziness behind. More than anything, I wanted to take Coyote’s advice. It seemed like the FBI was right, that Hawk was in charge now. And with Hawk in charge, bad things were sure to happen.
“Of course the lynx is important,” Coyote said. “But the way Hawk is going about this isn’t right. He’s crazy, and crazy people make stupid decisions. Please, Sky, I want you to be safe. And I don’t think it’s safe to stay with MED.”
“What do you mean, Hawk’s crazy?”
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“He’s all freaked out and irrational. He’s saying the cops and the FBI and maybe even the CIA are spying on us.”
I forced myself to laugh, but it probably sounded more like I’d been punched in the gut. “Really?” I said. “Why would he think that?”
“He’s convinced that there are bugs in the walls, tracing devices on our cars, that people are listening to him and watching his every move. He confiscated everyone’s cell phone. While we were in jail, he drove back to Portland and went to some weird spy equipment store. He came back with a bunch of stuff, including this wand that he’s scanning everyone with to make sure they don’t have microphones or something. He’s not going to spell out any details about what he’s got planned until he’s certain everyone’s fully committed—and that the walls don’t have ears.”
Behind my back, I started to unbuckle my watch. “That’s messed up,” I said slowly, trying to buy more time.
“I know. That’s why you should just turn around and leave before they even know you’re here. You could call your mom, or I could give you money for the bus.”
“What about you?” I asked. “You should get out of here if you’re so worried he’s crazy.”
“Because we do need to do something about the lynx. I want to hear what Hawk has to say. I’ll stick it out if the plan makes sense, even it’s risky. But you don’t have to take that risk. Sky—Ellie—please don’t go into that room.”
“I have to, Coyote. I can’t explain it to you, but I have to. After seeing the lynx, I know how important this is.”
He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes, and we stayed like that for a long minute.
Finally he sighed and said, “Then at least listen carefully to what everyone has to say. We need the save the lynx, but we can’t sacrifice our principles—or ourselves—to do it.”
Coyote opened the car door, swung his legs out. While his back was turned, I shoved the watch in between the seat cushions as far as it would go and followed him out.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Coyote knocked once on the door of the room, and it opened a crack. A blue eye peered out. Then the door opened just wide enough for us to slip through. There were seven people crowded into the long, narrow room.
“I found Sky,” Coyote said.
“Hey.” I tried to smile. The air was warm and stale, and there wasn’t enough of it. The curtains were closed, and the ceiling light seemed to have only a forty-watt bulb.
Blue was sitting on one bed, and Coyote sat down next to her. I started to follow, but Hawk put a hand on my shoulder. He was holding a long black wand. “I need to make sure you’re clean.”
I held my arms up at shoulder height, as if I had been pulled aside by airport security. The wand didn’t squawk about my backpack, but it let out a loud buzz as it passed my hip. I jumped, but Hawk seemed to have expected it. “I’ll need your cell phone, Sky.”
“Why?” Even though I didn’t have a choice, I didn’t want to give it up.
“All of them got handled by the cops. They’re probably listening in on every call we make. So I’m dumping them.”
I gave him my phone, and Hawk threw it in a pillowcase that held a half-dozen others. Grizz, Liberty and Meadow were sitting on the other bed. “Where’s Cedar?” I asked. “And Seed and Jack Rabbit?”
“Cedar had priors, so he’s still in jail,” Liberty said. “The other two went back to Portland. They couldn’t hack it.” She made a face at their cowardice.
“And I have more bad news,” Hawk said. “As soon as they heard we were in jail, the loggers cut down our sits.”
Around me, I heard gasps and moans as everyone registered the impact of Hawk’s words. The Old Man—gone? The earth must have shaken for miles when he hit the forest floor.
“What chance does the lynx have now?” Meadow’s voice broke.
Hawk straightened up. “We’ve come to the part of the war when the fighting is house to house, when you have to get up close and personal with your enemy. Violence has always been a last resort. But now our backs are against the wall. Are you with us? Because if you’re not with us, then it’s time to leave.” His pop eyes stared at each of us in turn.
Coyote jumped to his feet. “Who’s ‘us,’ Hawk? You don’t speak for every MEDic. I’m not arguing about the need to save the lynx. But if we hurt someone, we’re playing on their level. We can’t wash our hands in blood.”
Hawk’s response was quiet and measured, and all the more frightening for that. “We’ve tried nonviolence. It’s not working. If you had a gun in your hand and were given a moment with Hitler, would you try to persuade him with a petition or a protest that he was wrong? Or would you do what needed to be done?” He paced the length of the room, his hands jabbing the air, and with each step, the tension rose. “I’m not talking about striking out in anger. I’m talking about taking the next rational step.”
“This isn’t kill or be killed,” Blue pleaded. Her tone was desperate. “This isn’t our life against theirs.”
“Tell that to the lynx,” Grizz said. “Her life is on the line.”
“This isn’t what MED is about,” Coyote said. “MED is about saving the planet. And we can’t save the planet by slaughtering people.”
“I’m not talking about slaughter.” Hawk paused. “I’m talking about taking out a selected high-value target.”
There was silence as everyone considered this. I saw different emotions on people’s faces. Hawk and Coyote were both lit up with intensity. Meadow’s face was twisted in a grimace, but I wasn’t sure if it was distaste or just the pain from her ankle. Blue had her arms crossed. Grizz looked puzzled, and Liberty was nodding in agreement with Hawk. I tried to keep my face blank.
Liberty said, “Let’s not be making this bigger than it needs to be.” In the dim light, her dreads looked like Medusa snakes. “Hawk is talking about a surgical strike. That’s all.”
Meadow sat up, wincing as she moved her foot. “But MED has never been about harming animals or people.”
“But if we don’t act, the mama lynx and her kit will die,” Hawk said. “In the legal system, they call it the lesser-of-evils defense. If we stand by and watch someone being murdered, are we any better than the murderer?”
He came to a stop in front of me. I had to say something. “No,” I answered. Did anyone else hear how my voice shook?
Blue got to her feet. “Say exactly what you mean, Hawk,” she demanded, her hands on her hips. Suddenly, she seemed taller. “Don’t try to dress it up as something else. You’re talking about killing people.”
Hawk whirled to face her. “Is it a greater evil to kill a single human—a species that is definitely not endangered—or to let a whole species be wiped off the face of the Earth?”
“Killing someone is crossing a line, and once you do it, you can’t go back,” Coyote said. “You’ll hurt MED and every person in it. We’ll lose any bit of credibility we’ve built up over the years.”
“Fighting one evil doesn’t give you the right to create another,” Blue said. “I can’t be any part of this.”
“Neither can I,” Coyote said. He held out his hand to me. “Come on, Sky, let’s go.”
I dug my fingernails into my palms. “Sometimes,” I said, more to myself than to Coyote, “you have to do things you don’t want to. Yesterday, I saw the lynx and her kit. I think it was a sign that we have to do something.”
Blue begged me. “Sky—come with us!”
“I can’t.” My voice cracked.
She knelt at my feet. “Don’t you see? We can still stop the logging without resorting to violence. We’ll check the traps I set, and once we find fur, we’ll get a judge to grant a moratorium on the logging.”
“Like that will work,” Hawk said, waving one hand dismissively. “Go ahead, though. Be my guest. The rest of us will be making a real difference.”
But Blue kept looking at me until I slowly shook my head. Her eyes filled with tears.
The room went quiet as Hawk found Blue and Coyote’s cell phones and handed them back. “I’m going to get rid of the rest of these,” he said, hefting the pillowcase, along with a grocery bag filled with old newspapers. “When I come back, I expect to find you both gone.”
In silence, Blue and Coyote gathered up their things. As they were about ready to leave, Meadow suddenly burst out, “Blue, can you take me to the bus station?” She gestured to her injured ankle. “I’m not in any shape to do anything dangerous. And after yesterday, I know I can’t do jail time.”
“Go, then!” Liberty said fiercely. “It doesn’t matter!” But her voice wobbled, belying her words.
As Blue helped Meadow to her feet, Coyote picked up his backpack and came back to me, his voice low so that no one else could hear. “Sky—Ellie—please come with us.”
“I can’t,” I whispered.
He touched my cheek, and I felt it all the way to my toes.
And then he walked out the door.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
“So what are we going to do now?” Liberty asked when Hawk came back.
Hawk must have noticed that Meadow was gone, but he didn’t ask about her. “We’re going to do what we should have done in the first place. We’re going to take out Gary Phelps.”
“But will killing Gary Phelps really solve anything?” I tried to sound cold and rational, as if it didn’t matter either way. “Won’t someone else just step up and fill his shoes?”
“Any new CEO will think twice before they order PacCoast to start clear-cutting again. Stonix has a dozen other businesses. They’ll look somewhere else to maximize their profits.”
Now that we could all picture a real person and not a faceless enemy, Grizz seemed to hesitate. “Like, okay, can’t we just firebomb PacCoast’s offices at night, you know, when they’re closed?”
“It’s too late for that,” Hawk said. “If we want them to stop logging, we have to send them a message they can’t miss. A million people die every day. But this one time, it will mean something.”
