But those days away from the confused dazzle he stirred up inside her had given her the chance to face the unyielding truth. His future was in Tevenar, and hers was in Ramunna. As soon as Elkan had challenged Hanion she’d known he would win. Elkan would be bound to Tevenar, and Josiah would never desert his master. For a little while she’d believed she could be happy with him here, but she’d realized she couldn’t. The Mother had called her to bring her power to her homeland. Tevenar had plenty of wizards. The people of Ramunna didn’t. They needed her.
If she couldn’t have Josiah forever, better not to have him at all. She’d be spared the grief of leaving him. He’d be spared the heartrending decision between loyalty to her and loyalty to his master. Maybe he would come to Ramunna at some point after he made journeyman, and if she was still unattached they might rekindle their relationship. But that was at least four years in the future. He’d probably have long forgotten about her by then and taken up with some other girl. Or a whole string of them. She knew better now than to expect him to wait for her when no promises had been exchanged. And she wasn’t going to offer or ask for promises if they couldn’t be together to keep them.
Josiah must have finally decided she wasn’t going to answer, because he rose. “Talk to you later. I’m going to take Sar to graze for a little while before it’s completely dark.”
Footsteps and hoofbeats receded. A hand fell on her arm. She looked up to find her father looking earnestly at her. “He’s a good boy, Kevessa. But there are others. You’ll be fine without him.”
“I know.” Kevessa forced herself to smile at him. “Tell me about Mama and Papa. They must be all right, or you would have said so right away. What happened when Marvanna invaded? Are they still in our home? Are my cousins well?”
“They’re fine, all of them. Keeper Emirre negotiated the surrender before the Marvannan soldiers made it that high in the city. Once the Matriarch and Armada were gone, the aristocracy realized their only option was to stop resisting and acknowledge Malka in her place. The transition went smoothly for the most part, although—”
Kevessa listened. The information was interesting enough that she was soon able to tuck her feelings away again. She would do her best from now on to act like a Tevenaran, forget about the brief relationship they’d shared, and treat Josiah as just another friend.
* * *
Meira kept darting to the window at the front of the house and scanning the street. Elkan had promised to check it out and give his opinion as soon as his shift on emergency duty was over. Master Elspeth had been reluctant to leave the keys with Meira overnight, but eventually she’d persuaded the trader that her odds of closing the transaction would be much higher if she did.
As soon as she spotted Elkan and Tobi approaching, she flung the door open. “Isn’t it perfect? The last tenants moved out yesterday. Master Elspeth couldn’t even wait until Firstday to show me.”
Elkan surveyed the cottage as he came down the walk. “It’s lovely. Although rather modest for a guildmaster.”
She waved away his protest. “Maybe I’ll be able to afford ostentation in a few years. Right now I need to plow as much money as possible back into the guild.” A thought struck her, and her face went hot. “Or are you talking about yourself? If you think something grander would be more appropriate—”
“Not at all,” he said quickly. “Master Dabiel always lived in the Hall. Not even the biggest suite. I think the Guildmaster before her did the same. No one expects the Wizard Guildmaster to keep a mansion.”
Meira nodded, relieved. The huge residences on Guildmaster’s Row intimidated her, with their ornate decorations and sweeping views of the sea, even if her new status matched that of their inhabitants. She much preferred this cozy dwelling, only a little bigger than her home in Shalinthan. She could easily imagine living here, while she could no more picture herself in one of those mansions than in the palace in Ramunna that Elkan had described. Although she supposed she could have learned to adapt if that had been what he wanted.
She led Elkan between the sitting room and stairs and through the kitchen, eager to show off her favorite part of the house. She opened the back door and made a sweeping gesture to indicate the spacious yard. “Ravid’s already right at home.” He was busily digging in a big pile of sand that filled one corner of the walled yard. “The last tenants had children about his age, too. He’s going to love being allowed to play out here alone. With the wall, I don’t have to worry about him wandering off. And look, there’s a swing, and a tree house for when he’s older.”
Tobi prowled around the perimeter of the yard, sniffing everything. Elkan peered up at the small wooden structure in the branches of a gnarled tree. “I would have loved something like that when I was a child. My sisters had one, but they would never let me in, even after they apprenticed.”
“You never snuck in?”
“Of course not. I was much too well-behaved to do any such thing.” He returned Meira’s knowing grin with a wink. “Well, maybe once or twice.”
She laughed. Leaving Tobi to watch Ravid, she continued to show him around. He dutifully admired the placement of the privy, off to the side out of sight but convenient to the door. He expressed approval of the big cast iron stove and ample cabinets in the kitchen. He followed Meira up the broad stairs and toured each of the four bedrooms.
She saved the one she’d chosen for last. “This can be ours. I thought you’d like the view.”
He walked over to the window. Meira moved behind him and looked out. The Mother’s Hall stood silhouetted against the sky, looming over the roofs of the neighboring houses. She’d worried that darkness might lessen the impact of the dramatic sight, but instead it enhanced it. The Hall glowed from within, golden lamplight spilling from every window into the dusk.
He swallowed. “It’s beautiful.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist. “And it’s less than a mile away. You can pop a window open whenever you like and see what’s going on up there. That way you’ll never have to worry about whether you’re needed.”
He turned to embrace her. “I wouldn’t have thought of that. But you’re right.”
She leaned her head against his chest. “It’s about a quarter hour walk. There’s a stable on the corner that rents mounts, so you could probably make it in five minutes in an emergency.”
He was quiet for a moment, stroking her hair. “And if I’m not mistaken, the Miners’ Guild headquarters is about a mile and a half in the other direction. You said you wanted to set up your headquarters near them.”
“It makes sense; we’ll be doing the most business with them. Although I’ve had plenty of inquiries from other guilds as well. Everyone has ideas about how to put blasting powder to use in their craft.” She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Some are at least reasonable. The Watch and the Hunters’ Guild are interested in smaller versions of the weapons, maybe even handheld. But some are just ridiculous. A master from the Players’ Guild asked to buy some to use in the play she’s producing about the battle. I told her to smack some boards together and flash lantern light with mirrors so she wouldn’t risk burning the playhouse down.”
“Probably a smarter idea. Although I expect Josiah would be first in line to see her play if you’d agreed.”
She laughed. “If he ever wants to leave the Wizards’ Guild, I’d take him in a minute.”
“I’ll tell him. Although I expect he won’t be interested. He’s got a true wizard’s heart.” Elkan was silent for a few minutes. When he spoke, his voice was serious, but at the same time lighter than Meira had heard it since before the battle. “He may have just figured out how to make it possible to spread the Wizards’ Guild to Ravanetha after all. Without putting Tevenar at risk.”
Meira pulled back a little. “Really? How?”
“I’d better not say yet. I’m not sure if it will work. But it might.” His gaze shifted to focus somewhere beyond her, yearning toward the goal he’d given up a
s lost.
She’d never understood why he’d changed his mind so drastically about the future of the Wizards’ Guild. The battle had been the turning point. She feared it had something to do with her injury, but she didn’t know why that should have made a difference. Whenever she pressed for an explanation he’d only say that he’d given the matter a great deal of thought and concluded that he needed to make Tevenar his priority.
But no matter how grounded in cold reality his surrender of hope had been, it had hurt him. Only now, seeing how the possibility of its return affected him, did she realize how much. She kept her voice gentle. “You want that, don’t you?”
He took a deep shuddering breath. “They need the Mother’s power so badly. I’d given up, so I tried not to care, but I couldn’t forget. The way they begged for our help that first day. The way they stood in line so patiently, for hours on end, thousands of them. The people who’d been suffering for years, that we healed in a moment. And we barely scratched the surface. Withholding the Mother’s power from them is against everything she called me to do. And yet losing Tevenar would be worse, so I resigned myself to it. I thought it had to be one or the other. But maybe there really is a way it can be both.”
“If there is, you’ll make it happen.” She put all the conviction she could muster into her words.
He didn’t respond out loud, but he pulled her close, dropping his head to rest on her shoulder. She held him tight, trying to convey with her body her love for him and her faith in his ability to accomplish whatever he set his mind to.
She wished she could stay there for hours, but it was getting late, and other matters pressed. Reluctantly she disengaged. “We’d better get Ravid and head back to the Hall. What should I tell Master Elspeth? Do we want the house?”
“It’s your decision.”
She’d been as patient with him as she could, but it was time to press a little. “It’s our decision. I want you to live here with me. Whether we ever stand up together or not. I’ll cover the rent, but I want this to be your home, too.”
He hesitated. She waited, wondering if she’d acted too soon, pushed too hard. He glanced over his shoulder, out the window to where the Mother’s Hall shone in the distance.
Finally he turned back and gripped her hand. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I’ll pay my half of the rent.”
Happiness swelled in her heart, spilling onto her face in a broad, silly grin. “Your third. I’m paying for myself and Ravid both.”
“Half,” he said firmly.
She raised her eyebrows and shrugged. “I guess that’s fair. You’re covering Tobi’s share, after all.”
He smiled at her teasing tone, but his voice remained serious. “That’s not why.”
“I know.” She gave him a swift, hard hug and headed for the door. “I’ll give Master Elspeth the good news in the morning and go shopping for furniture in the afternoon. We can start moving our things down from the Hall as soon as she draws up the contract and we both sign.”
“Yes.” His step was light as he followed her.
He’d acquiesced so easily she was tempted to ask for more, but she restrained the impulse. One step at a time. Moving into their new home would keep them occupied for the next week or two. And the Guildmaster election would take place soon. She’d wait until that was over and he was secure in his new position to nudge them even closer to full commitment.
Fifty-Two
Nirel put her thick stack of notes into Elder Davon’s hands. She’d had longer this time, so had taken care to be complete and legible. “This is everything the Herder Guildmaster would let me have. She only let me copy the stud books that pertained to the animals we bought.”
Elder Davon leafed through her notes, making approving noises. “Excellent. The transfer of ships to the Armada is well underway. The captains have their instructions for returning when the Matriarch releases them and what to do if she becomes difficult. Nolaren got back from the farm he’s been observing a few hours ago. We can leave for Faithhome in the morning.”
Nirel kept her face pleased, although her heart sank. She dreaded being confined in close quarters with Nolaren again.
The trip here had been horrible. He’d started out perfectly polite and reserved. But little by little he’d pressed his attentions on her. At first just a hand on her shoulder or an arm around her waist. Later, a touch on her cheek or a seemingly accidental brush against her breast. Never anything the Ordinances forbid to a betrothed couple, but everything they allowed.
The last day he’d followed her to the dim corner of the hold where she went to escape him. Without a word he caught her and pulled her against his body. His mouth descended on hers and his tongue probed between her lips.
She tried to endure him as the Ordinances demanded she must, but her disgust and fear grew too strong and she squirmed away. He let go, his smile indulgent and knowing. “Soon you’ll learn to enjoy things like that. Once we’re wed I’ll introduce you to pleasures you can’t imagine. The Lord of Justice created men and women to please each other.”
Nirel shivered at the memory. Actually, she could imagine quite clearly what Nolaren intended. She’d grown up around animals, and her mother had always been willing to answer questions out of her father’s hearing. She didn’t doubt sex could be enjoyable with the right partner, but the more time she spent with Nolaren the more certain she was that he would never be that for her.
Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do about it. Elder Davon and Nolaren’s father had signed the betrothal contract. Unless she was caught committing some gross violation of the Ordinances that caused him to set her aside, their marriage was as inevitable as the coming of winter. And she would not disobey the Lord of Justice, even to escape it.
Once they sailed, she would be trapped on the ship with him. But maybe she could win a few more hours of freedom. “Elder Davon,” she said respectfully. “May I have your permission to visit the market? I’d like to acquire some helpful volumes from the booksellers there. In particular, I’ve heard that the first of the wizard’s Histories contains a detailed account of the founding of Tevenar. There may be information in it we can use.”
Davon nodded thoughtfully. “That might indeed be useful. I’m too busy to accompany you, but Nolaren is free. I’m sure he’ll be happy to escort you to the market.” He opened a drawer of his desk and dug inside. “Here’s some money to buy a copy of the First History and whatever other books you think we might need. And enough for you and your betrothed to enjoy the evening meal at one of the Tevenarans’ restaurants. The Ordinance that commands moderation can be interpreted loosely when it comes to an outing with your future spouse.” He smiled fondly as he pressed the coins into her hand.
She closed her fingers around them. “Yes, sir,” she said dully.
“I think Nolaren’s in his cabin. Be sure not to get separated from him. I don’t trust these Tevenaran men to behave with propriety.”
“Yes, sir,” she said again, and left the cabin that served as Davon’s office. She wanted desperately to disobey and slip off to the market alone, but duty won out. She walked to Nolaren’s cabin and knocked on the door.
He was very pleased to accompany her, of course. He took her arm as soon as they crossed to the dock and didn’t relinquish it all the way to the market. Only when Nirel located a promising-looking bookseller’s shop did he let go, and even then he hovered behind her as she rifled through used copies of the First History, looking for the one in the best shape.
After she settled on one, she asked the bookseller to direct her to other potentially useful tomes. He was happy to oblige, even though Nolaren fixed him with a forbidding stare and cleared his throat every time his hand came too near Nirel’s as he passed her a book.
The bookseller, a journeyman with pleasant features and thick curls that reminded her of Josiah’s, seemed to take it as a challenge. He deliberately let his hand brush hers, smirking at Nolaren when his face went red. “I th
ink you’ll find this one especially valuable. It’s got detailed information about dressing and cooking wild game. It was written by a married couple, a master hunter and a master cook.”
“That’s perfect,” Nirel said, eagerly taking the book and flipping through it. “We’re going to be depending on what we can hunt for quite a while, I expect.”
“I’ll give it to you for half price, because you’ll make better use of the information than anyone in Elathir. And because you’re the prettiest customer I’ve had all day.” He gave her a broad wink.
Nolaren stepped up to the bookseller. He stared at him, and in a low, dangerous voice said, “Nirel, that’s enough. Give the merchant his money. Pack up our purchases and we’ll be on our way.”
The bookseller glared right back. “I think she can decide for herself whether or not she’s finished.” He turned to Nirel. “Would you like to see more, or should I bundle these up for you?”
She scrambled in her purse for coins. “No more. These will do very nicely. Here.” She shoved the coins into his hand, touching him as little as possible.
The bookseller accepted them and deftly wrapped the books she’d chosen with twine, looping a handle at the top. He passed them to her.
Nolaren took them from her hand. “I’ll carry those. Come. Let’s eat quickly and get back to the ship.”
The bookseller said, “Thank you for your business, Nirel. Come again any time. But leave your overbearing friend at home.”
Nolaren practically snarled at him. “Refrain from speaking to my betrothed. Nirel, say nothing more to him.”
The bookseller gave him a long look through narrowed eyes. “I don’t know how things are done in Ramunna, but in Tevenar anyone may speak to anyone they like. If Nirel chooses not to speak to me, of course I’ll respect her wishes, but I don’t see that you have any say in the matter.”
“Excuse my betrothed,” Nirel said hastily. “It’s been a long day and he’s tired. Nolaren, stop being rude to the nice young man and take me to a restaurant.”
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