by Jayci Lee
“Find out what? What were you going to tell me?”
“Sophie’s adoption was finalized.” Her shoulders shook but she held his gaze. “Everything we bargained for—your deal with Vivotex, Sophie’s adoption... We did it. We won. Now there is no reason for us to stay married...except I couldn’t bear for us to end. I wanted forever with you.”
“I don’t believe you, and I sure as hell don’t believe in love and forever.” His head spun and he barely managed to stay on his feet. “It’s over.”
He wanted to snatch the words back as soon as they left his mouth. It wasn’t over. He would beg her to leave Klapper.
But her blood drained from her face and she stood eerily still. Fear gripped his throat. No. Please, no.
“You’re right.” Her voice was steady and strong when she spoke at last. “It really is over.”
Natalie walked past him with her chin held high. Every nerve in his body screamed for him to stop her but he couldn’t. Time must have passed because the next thing he knew, Natalie was standing in front of him again, fully dressed and holding a suitcase in her hand.
“I’m leaving.”
“You can’t leave now.” Not ever. He dragged his hand down his face. “It’s not even light out.”
“What I do isn’t any of your concern. Not anymore,” she said, her face drawn but resolute. “If you don’t mind, I’ll ask my friends to pick up the rest of my things later.”
He swayed slightly and widened his stance to steady himself. She seemed to be waiting for him to say something, but he could barely stand, much less speak. Oh, God. What have I done?
“Goodbye, Garrett.”
It was the final nail in the coffin, and he felt shrouded in darkness. He welcomed the oblivion as he listened to Natalie leave with a quiet click of the door.
Seventeen
Natalie barely made it to Mrs. Kim’s apartment before her knees gave out and she crumpled to the ground. Her friend was at Natalie’s side within a second.
“What’s wrong?” Mrs. Kim supported her by the waist and led her into her living room. “What happened?”
A sob broke from Natalie and sorrow enveloped her. Hot tears streamed ceaselessly down her cheeks until she felt wrung dry. She lay down on Mrs. Kim’s couch and closed her eyes. Consciousness was exhausting...
The next time Natalie opened her eyes, it was dark out. She’d barely made a sound, but Mrs. Kim was at her side.
“You need to eat something.” The older woman set a bowl of cereal on the coffee table. “I need to go to the market to make you a proper bowl of jook, my famous Korean porridge, but I couldn’t leave you alone.”
Natalie shook her head and flinched. It hurt. It hurt everywhere.
“Fine. Let’s start with some water, shall we?”
Mrs. Kim held a cup to her lips and she swallowed. Once. Twice. “No more. I can’t.”
“Give yourself a few days to grieve, then no more.” Mrs. Kim pressed a kiss to Natalie’s forehead. “Think of Sophie.”
Natalie sat up and looked at the bowl Mrs. Kim had brought her. She never knew Cheerios could expand five times their size by soaking up all the milk in the bowl. Natalie settled in to witness the entire process—without curiosity, without interest. It was food she was meant to eat, but couldn’t.
I don’t believe you.
She clenched her eyes shut.
It’s over.
Her mom had abandoned her and her dad couldn’t stand her.
Stupid, lonely girl. You should’ve known Garrett would never love you back.
The dark, gaping hole in her soul spread—patient in its malice, in its cruelty. Soon it would swallow all that was good and bright in her. She looked forward to it because maybe then she could find some peace. A peace for the dead.
Only the mother in her would survive. She would eat, talk and breathe as long as Sophie needed her.
* * *
“What the hell is going on, Garrett?” Adelaide burst into his office and opened the blinds, letting in a shaft of blinding sunlight. “Have you turned into a vampire?”
Garrett hadn’t slept in days and it felt like a sledgehammer was pounding inside his head. Sunlight didn’t help, so he’d closed all the blinds and shut off the lights.
“Leave. Now.”
“I had a feeling he would be a wreck,” Mike said, closing the door behind him.
“You told me they might’ve had a fight, but this is ridiculous,” she huffed at his best friend.
Garrett didn’t see any reason to talk to them, so he kept abusing the keys of his laptop, even though the document on his screen made no sense. Nothing made sense.
“Where’s Natalie?” Adelaide said, stepping deeper into his office. “I’ve been trying to reach her for over a week, but she hasn’t responded to any of my texts except for the first one.”
He jerked up his head and met his sister’s eyes. “What did she say?”
“All she said was sorry.” She leaned toward him, bracing her hands on his desk. “Where is my sister?”
Sorry. Sorry for what? Unbalanced laughter built in his chest.
“Hal-muh-nee is worried sick. It isn’t like Natalie to ignore her calls.” When Garrett didn’t respond, Adelaide shook him by the shoulders. “What’s wrong, oppa?”
Mike gently withdrew her hands from him, and leveled him with disappointed eyes. “I told you not to do anything rash, Song.”
“Screw you, Reynolds.” His voice was a low croak. He couldn’t remember the last time he ate or drank anything other than Scotch.
“Shut up and listen. We found the mole. Peter Klapper seduced a naive new hire in the media department—”
“I know it’s not Natalie,” Garrett interrupted.
“What? You thought Natalie was the spy? Are you freaking crazy? Please tell me you didn’t accuse her of being the spy.” His little sister sounded furious and scared at once. Her voice trembled when she said, “She was worried about you, Garrett. She didn’t know anything until I told her. Oh, God. You broke her heart, didn’t you?”
“Hush. It’s going to be all right.” Mike wrapped his arm around Adelaide’s shoulders and dropped a kiss on the top of her head.
“Hal-muh-nee needs to know what happened, but I can’t tell her on my own. You’ll come with me, right, Michael?”
“Of course,” he said in a soothing voice. Then his face turned stoic as he addressed Garrett. “Go find Natalie and fix the mess you’ve made. I’ll deal with the mole and track down the puppet master.”
“Look for connections to Rotelle Corporation and Jihae Park.” Garrett had suspected Rotelle’s involvement for a while.
“Your almost-fiancée Jihae Park?” Adelaide wrinkled her nose. “It was just an informal agreement between the elders. Why would they go through so much trouble to give you grief?”
“Her jae-bul family probably hasn’t lost a single thing in their life,” Garrett said with a humorless laugh. “They felt slighted so they sent her to the States to give me hell.”
“If that’s true, she played you exceptionally well,” Mike said, frustration clipping his words. “You fell right into her trap all because Natalie dated Klapper when she was a college kid.”
Garrett gripped his hair in his fists. “Get out.”
“You deserve to be happy, Garrett. Both of you do,” he said, concern infusing his voice. “Don’t throw this away.”
“Out!”
“Come on.” Mike steered Adelaide toward the door.
“But we can’t leave him like this.” His sister sounded like she wanted to pummel some sense into Garrett.
“Give him time.”
“Time for what?”
“Time to get it through his thick head that he’s in love with Natalie.”
“He doesn’t know he’s in love
with her? How could...?” The door shut quietly behind them, muting Adelaide’s next words.
Garrett tried to inhale. Maybe he needed to exhale. He couldn’t do either because he already knew. He was in love with Natalie and he’d done everything in his power to push her away to protect his sad, scarred heart.
Did I ever believe she betrayed me? No. Natalie was incapable of the duplicity he’d accused her of. It came down to fear. He was afraid she wouldn’t stay with him because he couldn’t love her. He couldn’t admit he loved her because he feared love more than anything. But he couldn’t lose her like this.
Now was time to face his fears. All of them.
* * *
Garrett had searched everywhere for her, pulling all the strings he had, but she’d disconnected her cell phone, wasn’t using any of her credit cards, and there were no flight records. When he hit dead end after dead end, Garrett had hired a private investigator. The idea of a stranger tailing his wife and daughter, observing them unseen and unheard, was distasteful, but they’d been gone for two months and he’d run out of options.
Garrett ran his hand down his face and slammed his laptop closed. The board of directors was convening in a few hours to vote on his appointment as CEO. If he hadn’t been a shoo-in as the company’s heir apparent, then closing the biggest deal in Hansol’s history should secure him the position.
Becoming the head of Hansol had been Garrett’s lifelong goal, but it had paled and wilted when Natalie left. He couldn’t muster up much concern for his professional future. He had to win back his wife.
Imprisoned in his beautiful and terrifying hope, Garrett arrived close to half an hour late to the board meeting. He was out of his mind with desperation to see his wife, but he wiped his face clean of all emotions as he entered the boardroom.
“Gentlemen. Ladies.” Garrett bowed from his waist to the board members and sat opposite his grandmother. “Hal-muh-nee.”
She acknowledged him with a nod and studied his face. Her expression betrayed nothing but her eyes clouded with concern. Garrett wanted to place his head on her knees and weep—something he’d never allowed himself to do, even as a child.
The board members continued to go down a list of items on the special agenda. As Garrett waited, the board reached the main agenda, and his grandmother straightened her spine imperceptibly.
“Dear ladies and gentlemen of the board...”
Garrett’s cell vibrated in his pocket and his heart picked up speed. Without taking his eyes off the speaker, he took out his phone and unlocked it with his thumb. When it was ready, he lowered his gaze to his lap with the barest shift of his head.
I’ve located her current residence and workplace.
His private investigator had come through. He stood up so abruptly his chair tipped over and all eyes snapped to him. Garrett had no doubt leaving the meeting at a crucial moment like this could cause a scandal or convince his grandmother to block his CEO appointment. But every minute apart from Natalie was time lost. He made the only choice he could.
“Hal-muh-nee, I found Natalie.”
His grandmother’s lips trembled for just a second before she nodded with authority. “Go.”
Garrett sprinted out of the conference room and the meeting erupted into chaos. He didn’t care. All that mattered was finding his wife and fighting for forever.
Eighteen
“Sophie Harper Sobol!”
The eleven-month-old laughed and waddled around the living room buck naked. The rascal had, of course, skipped crawling and gone straight into walking. Natalie just prayed she’d outgrow the streaking phase.
“Look, missy,” Natalie said after body tackling her. “Mommy has to go to work and you need to finish getting dressed.” If she didn’t drop Sophie off with her grandparents soon, she’d be late.
All Natalie got was another evil giggle in response. Raising a natural-born troublemaker was exhausting work, but she was grateful for the all-consuming distraction. Sophie had saved her. Had kept her alive. She shook away the bleak memory of her first days apart from Garrett.
Blowing out a calming breath, she ran to the closet and pulled on her work clothes. She was working as the office manager of a booming chain of diners around Queens and Brooklyn while she looked for a permanent job in New York. She’d just about given up hope of getting a position in her field after leaving Hansol. If her latest interview didn’t pan out, she would start applying for managerial or even entry-level positions and prove herself all over again.
For the time being, she enjoyed her job. There were two employees at the “corporate office.” Herself and Debbie, the one-woman accounting department. Debbie was easygoing and kind, but more importantly, she never read tabloids or watched gossip shows, so she didn’t know Natalie was Mrs. Garrett Song. Or rather, the soon-to-be ex-wife of Garrett Song.
They’d gotten into a little habit where Natalie brought in pastries and coffee in the morning, and Debbie shared her homemade lunch. Today was supposed to be blueberry-scone day, but after getting Sophie ready and dropping her off at Lily and Steve’s, Natalie decided to stop by the nearby doughnut shop so she could make it to work on time.
She started pleading her case as soon as she reached the office. “I know this isn’t your favorite, but Sophie was being extra rascally this morning and I was running late.” Debbie was standing at the small reception desk with a strange expression on her face. “I’m so sorry. I got us the buttermilk ones that aren’t drenched in sugar glaze...”
Natalie trailed off when a tall, dark figure stepped out from her office. His face was impassive, but his eyes were molten onyx, churning with unfathomable emotions.
Garrett.
Debbie took the bag of doughnuts and coffee from her slack hands. “Whoever he is, I’d keep him.” With a sly wink, her coworker trotted off to unload their breakfast in the kitchen.
Natalie debated whether to run for it but she wasn’t sure which way she would go. She’d missed him so much, and ached to wrap herself around his body. He had to leave before she gave in to her heart.
“How did you find me?” She turned her back because it hurt to look at him.
“You’d disappeared without a trace so I hired a PI to find you for me.”
“You did what?” She hugged her arms around her midriff as a shudder ran through her. Her eyes darted around the office, imagining someone watching her.
“I’m so sorry, but I needed to find you.” Garrett held out his hand as though to touch her but quickly withdrew it. “I promise you the investigator is discreet and thoroughly professional.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she sighed, waving aside his apology. “I was going to contact you once we were settled in. We need to file our divorce papers. It’s uncontested and we have no shared property, so it should be relatively simple.”
“Natalie, we aren’t finished.”
She frowned at the odd tone of his voice. Whatever he’d meant by that, they couldn’t talk about it out here. Natalie walked past him into her office and indicated for him to close the door. She sat behind her desk to create some distance between them.
“If you mean the divorce, then no, we aren’t finished, but we soon will be. I want all the loose ends tied up, so Sophie and I can move on.”
Garrett flinched, and Natalie’s frown deepened. He acted as though her words were gutting him.
“How is she?” His voice was a rough whisper.
The suffocating pressure in her heart reached a breaking point and she nearly doubled over in pain. Gripping the arms of her chair, Natalie choked down the lump in her throat.
“She’s doing great. She’s getting bigger, stronger and faster, which means she can make more trouble in less time.”
A sad but genuine smile tilted Garrett’s mouth, and Natalie’s eyes roamed hungrily over him. When he caught her gaze with fire in his own,
yearning blanketed her mind like thick fog blinding a driver. He searched her face and something akin to hope swept across his features. Then, with a suddenness that startled her, he circled her desk and kneeled in front of her.
She pressed back into her seat, not trusting herself to be so close to him. Garrett caught her instinctive retreat and the brief spark that lit his eyes flickered and dimmed. He was quiet for a long moment before he spoke.
“We found the mole who passed the information on to Klapper. A woman in the media department...”
So that’s what this is about. He found out she didn’t betray him and the guilt was tearing him apart. She clenched her hands to fight her instinct to reach out for him. To hold his head on her lap. She hurt for him but she had nothing left in her to soothe his pain.
“If you’re here to apologize, there’s no need,” she said, sounding as weary as she felt. “I’m sure you had your reasons for suspecting me in the first place.”
“My reasons?” His laughter rang with bitter regret. “I had my damn reasons but none of them excuse what I did.”
“I already told you. You don’t need to apologize.” He had to leave. She wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer. “If it’ll help you sleep better, then I forgive you. I really do, so please leave now. If you care even a little about me, please just leave.”
“No.” She thought she misheard him. It was a broken rasp. Then determination flared in his eyes and he said with finality, “No.”
“How could you—”
“I care more than a little bit about you.” He held her arms. “I love you, Natalie.”
“Leave.” She tugged her arms free and stumbled blindly away from him. “I want you to leave. Now.”
“I can’t.” Garrett rose to his feet, but only his eyes—lost and frightened—followed her. “I’ll do anything you want. Everything. Except leave you. I can’t do that.”
She shut her eyes to the naked need on his face. “Can’t or won’t?”
