by Anna Brooks
“Oh, duh.”
I love when she gets playful.
“How did you find me?”
“When?”
“Tonight. At Danny’s.”
My fingers continue to sift through her hair, and it still surprises me how soft it is. “Saw them drive off in that van. Followed it.”
“Does anybody else know what happened?”
“No. I knew I was dealing with little ball sacks, and once I saw you walking into the building looking more irritated than anything, I knew you were okay.” I have incredibly good judgment, so as hard as it was for me to contain my shit, I did. “I followed you up, but it took me a bit because I had to take down his guards. But then, admittedly, I listened to you and Danny for a bit.”
“I’m sorry.”
I kiss the top of her head and pull her even closer as she rolls to her side and throws an arm over my abs. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not. I hate lying. And even though it was just one big lie, it felt like one on top of the other, and I almost couldn’t keep up.”
“It’s okay.”
She shakes her head. “Where did you go tonight?”
Whatever the fuck it is we’re starting here, it has to be complete honesty. “Danny’s. I needed to set some shit straight with him.”
“Oh God, I was afraid of that. Did you two fight?”
“Nah, it’s all good.”
“Are you good?”
“I’ve got you, don’t I?”
Her eyes bug out of her head. “Uh, Noble. I made a false police report when I was a child, I stole shit, I was an informant for a dangerous and wanted criminal, I lied about being homeless, I stupidly out of jealousy threatened Paisley, and I stabbed you. How can you not see from my perspective that I’m freaking out because you seem to just be cool with all of that?”
She has no clue that her being an informant was a front, and we’ll keep it that way because if she finds out the truth, she’ll feel like she didn’t matter. I know she already feels that way about herself, so no way would I add to it. “I get it. But do you get that I don’t give a shit about any of that? You did what you had to in order to survive. As far as I’m concerned, we can keep all this shit between us. Nobody else needs to know. Not even Erik.”
“Q knows.”
I nod. “He does. I called him on my way to Danny’s tonight because now that I had a name connected to your past, I was going to have him dig even deeper. That was when he told me he already did. But him not telling me is between us.”
“Don’t be mad at him. He knew I was going to tell you eventually and I think he didn’t want to be the one to potentially ruin anything.”
I should be, that’s not shit he should have kept from me. “I get why he did it, but we’re not supposed to hide information like that from each other. Trust is paramount at Royal, and he kind of lost a little of mine.”
“Did I?”
“What?”
“Did I lose your trust?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Well, I still feel like a horrible, terrible, vindictive bitch for lying to you and everyone else.”
“If you want to tell them to clear your conscious, I bet they’d understand more than you can imagine. Especially Polly. You don’t think she would get you? She’d understand having to do whatever was necessary to survive.”
Her shoulders barely move when she shrugs. “I guess. I don’t know.”
“What can I do to help you realize you’re not a criminal, and you fought for yourself by any means necessary? That makes you a warrior.”
“I think you’re doing it every time you open your mouth.”
I think she needs so much more help than what I can give, but I’m gonna try. And part of that trying, I believe, is making sure that this is her choice, and she doesn’t feel pressure to be here. I want her here, I want everything with her, but if she needs time or space, I’ll give it to her. “Now that I know you actually have a home, do you want to go back there?”
“Honestly, I feel like you are my home. I know we kind of talked about it, but not with where we’re at right now, but I hope you’ll let me stay here, at least for a little while so you can figure out if I’m your home, too.”
Christ. “Yes. I want you here. Whatever we’re building, we’ve gotta be smart, Brinley. Me especially, with how fast this is going for you.”
“That’s the thing.” She runs her fingers along my chest, making random patterns. “I’m fine. Yes, I struggled when I was on my own at first, but since I’ve been with Danny, I’ve been fine. Honestly. I’m fine. I’ve been fine.”
“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but again, little red, you had a fucking mental breakdown at Erik and Polly’s house.”
“You’re right. I did. And the reason I did was because I just saw on the news that Danny was arrested. I thought I was going to be alone again. All of that paired with the stupid envy I felt for Paisley at that moment, and yeah, I lost it. But when I’m with you, I swear, Noble, everything is great. I don’t think about any of the bad stuff. It’s just you.” She pushes up on an elbow. “And now I have that. I have you. So I swear, I’m good.”
I want to believe her, but how the fuck am I supposed to know she’s really good? “I still think you should get some help.” She tries to push herself away from me, but I don’t let her go. “Listen to me. Stop, baby. What are you so afraid of?”
It takes her a second, but she finally releases a huge breath. “If I talk to somebody, I’m afraid I’ll end up telling them everything.”
“That’s the point.”
“No, Noble. I’ll tell them everything, and they’ll have to report it because of their legal obligation.”
“No, they wouldn’t.”
She shakes her head. “I can’t risk it. I’m fine.”
“If I find someone who I can get assurances from that no matter what you tell them stays confidential, would you talk to them?”
“How would you do that?”
“Would you?”
“I mean… I guess.”
Thank God. Not that I think she has something wrong with her, but I know she needs an outlet. She needs someone who actually knows the right responses to what she’s feeling instead of someone who will just tell her it’s going to be okay, then go behind her back to make it true.
“What about you?”
I tilt my head down to listen better. “What about me?”
“Have you ever talked to anyone?”
Now I’m the one stiffening. Leave it to her to call me on my shit. “I’ve talked to you.”
“And I’ve talked to you.”
Touché. “My shit happened a long time ago; yours is fresh.”
“If I talk to someone, then you have to too.”
I grind my teeth together. That shit is not happening. It’ll be a cold day in hell before I’d ever talk to a shrink about my problems. Fuck no, fuck that. “Okay, babe. Sure,” I lie. “Have you thought about what you want to do?”
“Do with what?”
“Your time. Now that you’re living with me. You don’t have to work unless you want to, but I eventually have to go back, and you’ll be here alone. You can take some college classes or something, too. Whatever.”
The entire mood in the bedroom just took a nosedive.
“They don’t let people who didn’t graduate high school take college classes.” Her embarrassment is palpable, and I give her a squeeze.
“You can do that then, instead. If you want. Like I said, whatever. If you wanna stay here with Luna all day, that’s fine, too.”
She sits up and opens and closes her lips, like a cute little fish. “You don’t care that I’m a high school dropout?”
“No. Why would I?”
“Because it makes me even more of a loser that I can’t offer you anything. You have all this stuff, your house, money, a truck, a dog, a job. I have nothing, Noble. Some clothes at my apartment, but that’s it.”
>
I pull her back down and flip her to her back, then cage her in. “Are you done?”
“Apparently, I am.” She bites her lip.
“I want to get one thing straight. What you offer me is you. It’s all I want and more than I deserve, but exactly what I need. So if I hear you talk about yourself like that one more time, I will spank your ass, you understand me?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” I roll to my back. “Now, it’s been a long day. I’m exhausted. Cuddle up to me and kiss me before I go to sleep dreamin’ of you.”
Chapter 15
Brinley
“You look beautiful.”
I startle and smile at him in the mirror as I finish putting on my lip gloss. “Thank you. You look pretty hot yourself.”
He grins, and there’s something different about him since last week and everything that happened with Danny. He seems less tense, and he’s definitely more loving. He holds me at night and kisses me in the morning. He kisses me all the time. He touches me all the time.
But he hasn’t made love to me.
And it scares me because I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
Then he looks at me like he’s looking at me now, like there isn’t anybody else in the world but me, and I think that maybe I’m doing something right.
He steps in behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. His fingers splay against my stomach, and he pulls me back against him. His heat causes a shiver down my spine, and when he presses his lips at the place where my neck and shoulder meet, my entire body shivers. “You expect me to keep my hands off you when you wear something like this?”
I look at our reflection, his hand roaming over the little black dress. It’s tight and dips low in the back, but for the most part, it’s pretty plain. He’s in dark gray dress pants and a mahogany button-down shirt that fits him perfectly with a black tie.
“You ready?”
“Yeah.”
He rests his chin on my shoulder and gently rocks us back and forth. “You look good in my arms.”
“I know.”
His lips quirk, and he kisses the spot just below my ear. Before he pulls away, he nips my earlobe. “Come on. I need to feed you, and if I stand here much longer, I’ll be eating something other than steak.”
I giggle and link my fingers with his when they find mine. He helps me into the truck and holds my hand on the way there, too. It was his idea to go out to dinner, he wanted to take me on a date, and there was no way in hell I was going to say no.
It seems surreal, but the entire time we’re sitting across from each other at the restaurant, I can picture myself doing it for the rest of my life. It’s just so easy between us. Talking, laughing. Everything just feels right, and it seems like we’re finally on a path upward. A forever path.
I’ve just set my napkin down after licking the chocolate off my fork from the most delicious cake I’ve had in my life. Just like the steak I devoured for dinner. “That was so good.”
“Yeah, it was.” He leans forward and rests his hand on top of mine, rubbing his thumb back and forth over my knuckles, causing tingles to shoot down my arm and into my belly. “Have I told you how pretty you are?”
I don’t get a chance to answer him because Noble’s jaw tenses and his eyes turn stone cold when a man and woman step up next to our table. The guy is dressed like Noble except his pants are black and his shirt is baby blue. The woman is decked out with sparkly silver heels and a tight red dress that shows every single one of her curves.
“I know you like it rough, but I didn’t know you liked to play Daddy.”
The muscle in his cheek spasms, and he slowly stands, but instead of addressing the woman, he turns to the guy next to her. “Get your motherfuckin’ eyes off her, or I swear to Christ I’ll knock your ass out right here and right fuckin’ now.”
I’ve been around a lot of shit in my life. Seen a lot of people. Heard a lot of stuff.
When Danny killed that guy who was beating me up because I didn’t have any money, he didn’t say a word. Just walked up and shot him in the back of the head. I’ve always known the controlled and silent ones are the most dangerous. And Noble exercises an unprecedented amount of control.
But I’ve never in my life experienced what murder actually sounds like. I didn’t even know it had a sound until now. Until some man he obviously doesn’t like was looking at me like he wanted to devour me. I even caught his leery gaze, and it made my stomach turn.
Afraid Noble will do something publicly that he’ll regret, I start to stand. His eyes, no longer gray but blacker than a panther’s raven coat, don’t leave the man across from me. “Sit.”
I fall back to my butt with no protest, thinking wisely that now is not the time to challenge him. Unsure of what to do, I bite the inside of my cheeks and simply watch him. The power behind his shirt stretches the fabric thin as his muscles tense. His tall frame is like the goddamn David statue but made of granite. The only movement is from his lips when he says, “I will not say this again, so I suggest you two listen and do it really fuckin’ good.” I swallow from the intensity of his warning, but he keeps going like what he’s saying is rehearsed as he glares at the woman. “I fucked you once because you offered up that cunt on a silver platter, and no man unattached and available would turn that shit down.”
Okay, that stings. I offer myself up to him all the time, and he turns me down. Maybe because I don’t look like her. She’s nothing like me. Thick, blond hair. Her frame is tall and curvy. A real woman. The exact opposite of me. But he holds me at night. He always has his fingers linked with mine. His hand is always on me somewhere when I’m close enough to touch. That has to mean something.
“After we were done, I was done. I don’t know what you thought, and I don’t know why you get your rocks off when your wife fucks another man.” He angles his head at the guy. “But I don’t want any part of it, and I fucking swear on my daughter’s grave if either of you ever…” He leans over the table now, his knuckles already white from holding his hand in a fist turn transparent with the pressure of his body leaning on them. “Think to so much as look at her, and I know exactly what you’re thinking when you do, I won’t kill you, but you’ll wish you were dead because I will fuck with you in ways you don’t even know exist. Am I clear?”
“Whatever, man.”
“Not whatever. Am. I. Clear?”
He swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing quickly with the movement. “Yeah, you’re clear.”
Noble stands straight. “You better make sure your wife gets me, too, Bruce. Get her ass outta here and do that where I don’t have to fuckin’ look at either of you again because this will be the last time I see you.”
“Let’s go, baby.” She flicks her wrist at me and lifts her lip in disgust. “He’s not in the mood to play since he’s got a new toy.”
I gasp when Noble grabs her arm and yanks her to him. I look around the restaurant nervously as people stop eating and start staring. His grip on her is rough, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a red imprint when he lets go. Her husband doesn’t make a move; he just stands there with an almost bored-like expression. Nobody makes a move.
Noble’s chin touches his chest. “Was I not clear?”
“Let me go, Noble.”
“Bitch, was I not clear?”
Her squeak must not satisfy him because he repeats his question.
“You were.”
“Right. I was. You wanted me to fuck you again, and now you’re gonna get it, just not in the way that you were hoping. You won’t know when or where I’m gonna fuck you, but the first thing I’m gonna do is call Bebe.”
I have no clue what Bebe has to do with it, but this woman’s tan skin pales. Noble releases her and takes a step away, and then reaches in his back pocket for his wallet. After tossing some bills on the table, he sticks his hand out. “Come on, darlin’.”
I scramble out of my seat, thankful I finished my dessert because if I did
n’t I’d seriously want to box it up and bring it home. He practically drags me through the parking lot but has enough restraint to open my door and help me inside his truck. Great. Perfect day ruined. And how it was ruined is fucking awful.
With the mood he’s in, I don’t even bother saying anything until we’re back home and in the house, but when we get there, I let him have it. “So you obviously had a thing with them.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Oh, no. No way. Not this time, Noble. It’s your turn to open your mouth and tell me something.”
He does the exact opposite and clenches his jaw tight.
“What does Bebe have to do with anything?”
“Nothing.”
“What does Bebe have to do with it?”
“Nothing you need to worry about.”
It makes sense now. I wasn’t sure exactly why he was pushing me away initially. At first, it was because of the age, then I thought maybe it was because he thought I was broken. But now I know. It’s because he knows I won’t be into whatever the hell it is that he likes in bed. “Does the other woman have to be married or…?”
“Don’t.” He yanks at his tie and throws it over the couch.
“Is that why?”
“I said don’t.”
I follow him into the bedroom and don’t let up. I get right in his face. “That’s why you won’t sleep with me.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“I thought it was because I was homeless.”
“You’re not homeless.”
I roll my eyes to hide the pain. “Then I thought it was because of our age difference.”
“It’s just a number, babe. Doesn’t mean anything. Don’t do this shit. It was a good day.”
“You’re right, age doesn’t mean shit, but I am doing this. You were all over me at the fair, but then you met Danny, and ever since you found out, you’ve been different.”
“I have not.”
“You have. You’re still all over me, but I’ve been blind. I thought you were moving forward, but you’re not. I’m so stupid. I thought it was because you couldn’t get past the fact that I was lying to everyone, but it’s not that. It’s nothing that I’ve done. It’s what I won’t do.”
