by Hope Stone
I pictured Claire, her eyes big and gleaming as she looked at me right before we kissed. I heard the way she talked about her work, with jokes and sly phrases, but I could still tell she cared about what she did. I imagined the way her mouth quirked at the edges when she talked about all the adventures she wanted to have and places she wanted to travel.
There were no red flags in sight. Claire was smart and funny and charming. Not to mention gorgeous. I couldn’t obsess over Claire anymore. It was getting pathetic. I grabbed my phone and texted Moves:
Drinks at Blue Dog? 6?
He responded right away telling me that he would be there. That was the best thing about Moves. He never turned down a drink.
When I got there, I grabbed a beer and headed straight for a table in the corner. I knew that Moves could happily set up shop at the center table and start holding court, but I wanted a more private conversation.
Moves walked in and made a beeline for the table. Once we had settled in with our drinks, Moves looked me in the eye and raised his brows. “So? What’s going on?”
“How do you know something is going on?”
“Because you look practically giddy,” Moves said.
I rolled my eyes. However I looked, I knew it wasn’t giddy.
“Seriously, tell me,” Moves said.
“I’ve been seeing this chick,” I said.
Moves was never one for underreaction. He slammed his palm flat on the table and let out a whoop. Then he leaned back and gave a low whistle.
“You, Pin Gallegos, are actually seeing someone?” he asked. “Not hooking up, not just doing casual hang-outs with?”
I rolled my eyes. “Ok, ok I’ve been single for a while.”
“Not single,” Moves said. “Anti-love.”
“I am not anti-love,” I said. “You can’t be anti-something if it doesn’t exist.”
“Jesus,” Moves muttered.
“Ok, ok,” I said. “Can I just get back to the current issue, I could use your advice.”
Moves perked up at that. “But of course. The master is always happy to help the apprentice.”
I took a swig of beer. “I would not call you a master. But I will admit, you have more faith in relationships than I do.”
Moves nodded.
“And I guess I wanna know why?” I asked. “None of your relationships have worked out, but despite a string of failures, you’re still ready to dive into the next one?”
“Right,” Moves said. “I feel like I just got insulted.”
I shrugged and studied the table. I didn’t mean to call Moves’ past relationships failures, but he’d had five girlfriends in the last five years. Every single one, he had called his soul mate. I wanted to know how he had gone from soulmates to nothing. And I wanted to know how he got back up and kept moving after each relationship that he had wanted to last forever ended.
“Don’t know how else to ask it,” I said.
Moves pressed his mouth into a firm line and furrowed his brow. “S’alright. You may have a point.”
“I just don’t know how to trust a relationship,” I said. “I trusted one once, a long time ago. Didn’t end well.”
“Ok, but trust is so boring,” Moves said.
I gave him a quizzical look. Everyone knew that trust was the cornerstone of a healthy relationship and all that sappy stuff.
“It’s not just about trust,” Moves said. “Don’t get me wrong, trust is a big part of it, but it’s about something more. It’s more fun and exciting than that.”
“I don’t get it,” he said.
“You say you don’t have fun with this girl?” Moves asked.
“Of course I do,” I said.
“So enjoy that first,” Moves said. “You don’t have to go straight to the heavy stuff.”
“I just don’t see how I can not consider all the heavy stuff,” I said, drumming my fingers atop the table as I contemplated. “The heavy stuff is what’ll bite you in the ass eventually, right?”
“But the fun stuff and the stuff that makes you care about her in the first place.” Moves shook his head and waved his hand for emphasis. “That’s what gets you through the tough times.”
Moves leaned back and smiled, happy with his conclusion. I sighed.
Moves had a point. I was still scared as hell about everything that could go wrong with Claire. But the feeling of comfort and excitement I got when I was around her made me forget about the danger and tragedy that the future could hold.
I gave Moves a nod. I would think about his philosophy. I couldn’t make him any promises though. Moves leaned forward and clapped his hand on my shoulder. “When in doubt, just take it one step at a time.”
“One step at a time, huh?” I asked. “That’s tough for me.”
“Why?” Moves asked.
“I just keep thinking about what’s gonna happen at step 200 or 300,” I said.
Moves shrugged. “I never think ahead. Maybe I should.”
We both laughed and finished our drinks.
“Invite her to the club barbecue this week,” Moves said.
I looked up in alarm. It was no joke to invite someone to a club social event. It meant I was willing to introduce Claire to all the most important people in my life.
Then again, when I pictured walking into that barbecue with Claire at my side, a warm feeling spread through me. It would feel right, I realized, to introduce her to my brothers and their girls. I wanted to see her joke with Ryder and ask Raul about learning to ride.
She would fit right in as well. Claire wouldn’t be hesitant or shy around the bikers. They couldn’t faze her. She was undaunted by pretty much everything. In fact, she would relish meeting the guys and asking for good stories.
“Alright,” I said. “I think I will.”
“Awesome,” Moves said. “Can’t wait to meet her.”
I nearly choked on my swig of beer as I remembered. “Oh, you have.”
“What?” Moves asked. He sat straight up at this news. “When?”
I smiled and enjoyed Moves’ befuddlement. “Here actually.”
Moves’ eyes widened as it dawned on him.
“No fucking way,” he said. “The blonde chick the other night?”
“Yup,” I said.
“Ok, so I’m definitely your best man?” Moves asked.
I rolled my eyes. Inviting Claire to the Outlaw Souls barbecue was one thing; getting married was quite another.
Despite my dismissal, Moves made several more jokes. I let him go on for a while because I was feeling appreciative, but when I was done with my beer I stood up and said goodbye.
When I got back to my place, I typed out a message to Claire:
Biker barbecue this weekend, you wanna come?
Her response came in minutes:
Yes! Perfect opportunity to find someone to teach me to ride!
I grinned at her enthusiasm and texted back:
You think I’m not good enough?
She fired back in no time:
Oh, I like to keep my options open.
For the rest of the evening, I couldn’t stop smiling.
Sixteen
Claire
I couldn’t believe my luck. Pin was full of information, but I couldn’t come out and ask him if he was in any way, shape, or form involved with illicit drug activity. A barbecue with all the bikers would be different. I wouldn’t even have to ask, I could just observe. I could pick up plenty of details about the other Outlaw Souls and their habits. I would gain so much more intel than could be picked up on a casual date with Pin.
Because I had to admit that we were dating now. Whatever was between us, it was not just casually hanging out with mixed intentions. There was something new and very delicate growing.
I couldn’t think about that though. I had to separate my pesky feelings from the case. And going to the barbecue was definitely the best choice for the case.
If I was really lucky, Zoe or Hector would be there.
Maybe tucked into the host’s house or sitting on the edges looking nervous. I didn’t think this case was going to be that easy though. After a few days of digging through the details of Zoe and Hector’s disappearances and interviewing friends, the case was only growing murkier and murkier.
I responded to Pin’s invite as quickly as I could and then set my phone aside. It gave me a warm feeling in my stomach to text him, and it was too easy to fall into the trap of texting him back and forth for an hour. We had done that yesterday. I sighed and turned to my notes.
I wanted to have a firm grasp on everything I knew before the barbecue that weekend. Any random little fact might help. I could think of a thousand ways a biker might give away what happened to the teenagers without actually coming out and telling me.
I flipped to my page with notes from my chat with Liz. I had tracked her down the afternoon after Pin slept over, and my hunch had paid off. Liz was a wealth of information. I just had to approach her from the right angle.
Instead of ambushing her at school, I had texted her an explanation of who I was and what I wanted. Zoe’s parents had already told Liz that they were hiring a PI, so Liz agreed to meet me at a coffee shop after she was done with school for the day.
Liz was a nervous girl. From the second she sat down in the seat across from me at the table I had selected in the corner of the shop, she was fidgeting. She tugged at the hairbands on her wrist and fiddled with the ends of her mousy brown hair. I gave her a big smile to try and put her at ease, but it didn’t seem to help. It made me wonder if she had always been this way, or if she had changed after Zoe left.
“I don’t really know if I can help that much,” Liz said. “I already told everything I could think of to the police.”
“That’s ok,” I said. “Honestly, I just want some insight into Zoe as a person, and I figured you would be the best one for that.”
“Oh.” Liz blinked three times as if it had never occurred to her that someone might want to know about Zoe’s personality or characteristics. I didn’t blame her. Our society has a strange habit of misunderstanding and misrepresenting teenage girls.
Liz took a dainty sip of her caramel latte and then set it down. She chewed on her lower lip as she thought. “Her parents could probably describe Zoe better than me.”
I did my best to not roll my eyes. I had great sympathy for everything a junior high school girl goes through on a daily basis, but I couldn’t stand low self-esteem. If Liz spent her whole life discounting her knowledge and words before she even said anything, then no one was ever going to listen to her.
“I’m sure Zoe kept a few secrets.” I gave Liz a conspiratory smile. “We don’t tell our parents everything, right?”
Most times, I hate that I look so young. It’s harder to get taken seriously. But in this case, I wanted Liz to see me as a friend. Not a parent. Not a police officer. I wanted her to think of me as someone just a few years older than she was. I had even worn skinny jeans and leopard-print ballet flats to try and look a bit more hip.
Instead of leaning forward to gossip with me, Liz just lifted one shoulder and let it drop. “It was just the guy she was dating. But she didn’t even tell me that much about him.”
This was a sore spot. I could tell by the way Liz looked down, it had hurt when Zoe had shut her out all those months ago. The wound was still tender. I could use that.
“Yeah, I heard about him,” I said. “She only told you that he was older, right?”
“I saw a text on her phone and asked,” Liz said. “She told me he was older and they had to keep it on the down low.”
“See, that’s odd to me.” I tapped my finger against my lower lip in a show of thinking. “I would think Zoe would wanna brag all about her new boyfriend.”
I widened my eyes and shook my head, as if I was so over girls who boasted about their boyfriends. Liz mirrored my annoyance in an instant. I had played it right.
“Yeah, I mean, I don’t even know if he was actually her boyfriend,” Liz said. “To be honest, it seemed like he was using her.”
I leaned forward and raised my brows. Everyone loves to gossip. You just have to direct them to the right topic. “To deal drugs? Did she ever mention that?”
“Oh, no,” Liz said. “I never heard her say anything about drugs, I just meant it seemed like he was using her to make an ex jealous or something. Like, I got the idea he was not as into Zoe as she was into him.”
“How did you get that idea?” I asked.
“Well, Zoe would get really moody,” Liz said. “She would be on her phone all the time and, when I peeked over her shoulder, I would see that she was texting him but he wasn’t texting her back. It drove her crazy, but then eventually he would get in touch with her and she would be all smiles until it started over again in a few days.”
“You’re observant,” I said. “You’d make a good PI.”
Liz smiled up at me. Poor girl probably didn’t get enough praise. Liz wasn’t an athlete, nor was she a great beauty, and she didn’t have brains galore. She was just average. Overlooked by boys and adults. Now her one friend had vanished as well.
“Can you tell me anything else you noticed about him or the relationship?” I asked.
Liz pressed her lips together and looked at the ceiling as she thought. She was really thinking at this point, not just giving me basic answers.
“Well, he was a biker,” she said.
“How do you know that?” I asked.
Liz shrugged. “Zoe started wearing a leather jacket that he gave her. She mentioned him taking her on a few rides.”
I leaned forward with eagerness. “Did the jacket have a patch sewed on?”
“No,” Liz said.
An Outlaw Souls patch would have been all too obvious. I nodded. Then I leaned back and gave Liz a careful look.
“I know this might be awkward to ask,” I said. “But I do feel I need to know now if Zoe was sexually active with this guy. Do you know if she was?”
Liz’s cheeks turned pink. It was a safe bet that she was a virgin. It didn’t mean Zoe was, but I filed the information away.
“She had condoms,” Liz said. She lowered her voice to a tiny whisper on the last word. “But I’m not sure.”
“Ok, thanks for telling me,” I said.
“He also had a scar,” Liz said. “I never met him, but Zoe mentioned how he had this scar on his cheek from a fight he had gotten in and it was really hot or something.”
I nodded. As if this case wasn’t dramatic enough, now the main villain had a signature scar.
That was all I got from Liz when it came to the facts of the case, but at least it was something. She gave me plenty more context as well. She described Zoe as being really nice and kind-hearted, almost a pushover. Zoe had grown a little more glum and irritated when she started seeing the mysterious older guy, but she had always apologized to Liz after snapping at her.
Zoe was a people-pleaser, I realized as I skimmed my notes. She wanted to make everyone happy. It sounds nice, but it’s a surefire way to get manipulated. Especially if you end up in the wrong pair of arms.
Liz had been sad about Zoe. She missed her best friend. Something told me that Liz had been missing Zoe since before she even ran away. Zoe had become distant when she got involved with the biker, isolating herself. It was a classic tale. Get a young person away from all their friends, make them depend on you, and then they’ll do anything you say.
As for Hector, I still didn’t have much. I had chatted with a few of his friends who had confirmed what his parents told me. He got really into bikes. Started cutting class. Grew distant. Then one day he was gone.
His friends had seemed confused when I asked about drugs. I wanted to know if Hector had dabbled in anything before. They blinked before slowly nodding.
“Not marijuana,” I said. “I’m talking heroin or cocaine.”
Their little teenage eyes had bugged out of their heads, which was confirmation that Hector had not
been shooting up, at least not in front of them.
I lifted my pen and jotted down the date of the barbecue. It was the day after next. I had an urge to invite Pin over. I wanted to see him. We could watch TV and chat, and it would take my mind off the case.
Except that was bad. Pin was part of the case. When I saw Pin, I should be thinking of the case, not the way his smile was ever-so-slightly crooked or the way he looked right into my eyes when I was talking.
Or how much I wanted to sleep with him again. I was happy we hadn’t gone further than kissing the last time we saw each other, but I couldn’t deny I had the urge to go further. I wanted to know what it would be like now that I knew Pin a bit better.
It was a distraction though. And it was dangerous to yearn for Pin like this.
I decided I would tell him I was busy with work tonight and tomorrow. I would wait until the barbecue to see him again. That way, I could use the time apart to cool down. I would let my little crush fade.
Only, as I put away my notebook and prepared for bed, I worried that it wasn’t just a crush. I could tell myself over and over that the barbecue was going to be a reconnaissance mission. It was going to be crucial for my investigation into Outlaw Souls.
But when I thought about the barbecue, I just got excited to spend more time with Pin. And when I pushed aside the excitement, I only felt guilt. I was using him. He thought we were just starting to date. That we had innocent motives and clear intentions.
Before I met Pin, I would have said I was willing to do anything to solve a case. I would lie, beg, borrow or steal in the name of an investigation. Now I wasn’t so sure if I was capable of that.
Now it felt like I was about to cross a line.
Seventeen
