by T R Tells
“Everything has been one big mess, and even though it seems like things are getting better, it’s taking up all of my energy.” He sighed, returning to the bench swing. “I’ve lost so much time without even being present —it’s like… I feel like I don’t belong. You know?”
He looked down at his feet as he swung back and forth. I slowly walked over to him and sat beside him. My feet hovered off the ground due to my small stature.
“I know… It’s like your body and soul don’t want to cooperate with each other.” He turned his head to look at me with wide eyes. “When I first gained my powers, I was confused, lost, and frankly, I panicked.”
I closed my eyes, remembering the first time a weapon appeared in my hands. It disappeared shortly after I had started screaming in panic.
“...I felt like a freak, and I was alone. I’d lost time when I had been unconscious, and it wasn’t like I could talk to my mom or Omari about this. Garvy didn’t even know until later, but even he doesn’t understand.”
I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was gazing at me with a stern expression while he listened.
“But my daddy’s words came back to me one night, ‘Hira, if you panic, you’re only going to sink deeper into the water. Even if it seems scary, focus on your objective to keep from drowning.’”
A brief image of his dark brown skin and hearty laugh echoed through my head.
“And what was your objective?”
I pursed my lips together then grinned. “People needed me. I had to do something about it. I had to make use of it; otherwise, I’d always keep drowning. So I keep fighting, and I help others. I make sure that they know they don’t have to panic, and someone will be there to help them to shore.”
He hummed and nodded. “That’s a good way of thinking of it… But how can I get back to feeling normal?”
I didn’t think anything could be returned to ‘normal,’ but I knew what he meant.
“Well… what makes you panic? And your objective is stopping that from happening.”
He didn’t hesitate to say as he looked at me, “Losing you, whether it’s by these Umbra Shades or because I’ve lost your trust. I feel empty without you Hira, you keep me whole. You’ve always kept me whole, and I’ve always known what I wanted, but you’ve been my silver lining ever since I met you.”
My heart squeezed in my chest when I heard those words. He often said how much I meant to him, but hearing it from him now, was like being wrapped in a soft blanket. I hadn’t even realized he’d grabbed my hands until my fingers were surrounded in warmth.
I glanced down to our conjoined hands for a moment, but I didn’t pull away. He was fully facing me, throat bobbing nervously.
“I swear to you, Hira, I don’t want Veronica. I just want you, and to finish school, to propose to you like I planned. But I don’t want to drown.”
I squeezed his hand. The doubt that had needled its way into my chest started to fade. We had a problem at hand, and both knew what our objective was. There was no time to panic.
***
I called for a Lyft since Alessander was unable to drive until he was medically cleared. It dropped us off at the Six Corners strip mall. We made our way to Starbucks so we could discuss more about Veronica and her pregnancy, but I needed coffee first.
“One large coffee, extra light and sweet,” Alessander said when he took his seat at the silver table. He had his cup in his hand and slid mine over to me.
I grabbed the base, and the warmth from the coffee made my fingers tingle as the chill started to disappear. I brought the coffee to my lips and tenderly sipped. The drink burned my tongue, making it sting. Still, the sweet caramel made me lick my lips and attempt another sip.
“Oh my gosh, that is so good.” I slouched in my seat and continued to sip. From my peripheral, I could see Alessander smirking at me with his own latte in the air. I raised my brow and moved my cup an inch away from my lips. “What?”
He chuckled and shook his head. “Nothing. I missed you burning your tongue.”
My cheeks burned, and I rolled my eyes. “Jeez, thanks. That’s what every girl likes to hear.”
I brought the cup down to the table, and Alessander did the same, his hands reached out to take mine, and I let him. We stared at each other’s hands for a moment. Even if we were in the middle of a Starbucks and there were quite a bit of people inside; when we were together, nothing else mattered.
“Okay, so, let’s get to the objective,” I took a deep breath, knowing that it’d be easier to rip off the bandage quickly. “What do you know about Veronica?”
Alessander sighed heavily, his thumb caressing the back of my hands. I couldn’t be sure if it was hard for him to speak or if he was just as tired of Veronica as I was.
“...I don’t even remember some things anymore, it’s all a blur, but I knew Veronica when I was eight years old. My mom was kind of friends with her mom, and invited her to a few events when she moved into the neighborhood. My mom never thought I was listening, but always talked about how she never spoke up at the events that my mother brought her to. At first, she thought it was because she was shy or awkward, but she was actually just cold and mean. She had a cruel look in her eye that drove people away.”
I nodded. I could understand that. Even though Veronica was sarcastic and didn’t give a rat’s ass about anything or anyone, there was something in her eyes that looked like she wanted you dead. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how Veronica’s mother treated her.
“Anything else?”
Alessander sucked his teeth and grabbed his coffee from the table with one hand while keeping the other firmly clasped in mine. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen pictures of her father. Or of her as a little girl, for that matter.” Alessander scrunched his nose and looked out the corner of his eye, as if he’d thought of something.
“What?”
“Maybe it’s nothing, but there was this man… He had an off way about him, but there was also something eerie, powerful. It kind of scared me as a kid. Even trying to remember him now, he gives me the creeps. All I remember is this dark look in his eyes, and it was like he had seen the world begin and end in mere seconds.”
The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end at the description. Could that have been Veronica’s father? Or maybe someone had mistreated her mother and her? The flips in my stomach told me that he probably wasn’t good news.
“And do you think that he was abusing them?”
Alessander shrugged. “Maybe. I do remember… ” he paused and his hand on mine tightened. I frowned and looked at him oddly.
“Alessander, it’s okay. I’m okay, I just want to know so we can get through this together,” I told him and placed my hand on top of ours. His eyes searched mine. I knew he must’ve been contemplating whether or not to tell me this bit of information, but I wouldn’t hold anything against him.
I wouldn’t allow Veronica to come between us.
“She was crying one day, I might’ve been eleven at the time, and she had opened up to me and said that she felt alone. She was never good enough for anyone, especially her mother, and she always felt like she didn’t belong. They never saw eye to eye, and she could never please the rest of her family.”
I didn’t say anything as he hesitated again, rubbing the back of my hand.
“I didn’t think about my words then. I never liked seeing anyone upset, so as a child, I said I would always be there for her. I never knew how much my words would end up meaning.”
My heart squeezed in my chest, and my entire body stiffened. Alessander hadn’t noticed because he was still looking down, but I could hear my blood rushing in my ears like an ocean wave. That’s what she meant by promise. I swallowed the lump in my throat, hoping to regain control over myself. I wasn’t sure if I was angry or sad about his declaration.
—But it had been long before he knew you, and he was a kid.
Alessander finally looked up, and the look on his face t
urned to panic. He sat up straight as he looked at me. “...You have that look on your face. I promise you, Hira, it didn’t mean anything but what I intended it to be as a child. I love you, and I know it seems far-fetched now, but from the moment I saw you I knew that I wanted you, and that you were meant for me.”
This explains her vendetta against me.
I sighed and grabbed my now lukewarm coffee, bringing it to my lips. I made a face and then put it down on the table. “...I mean, I am hurt, you basically promised yourself to someone else.”
“Hi—” he started to say, but I held up my hand to let him know I wasn’t finished. He pressed his lips together and slouched back in his seat.
“—But you were a kid, and honestly, she took it too far. Her situation might not have been her fault, but she’s forcing things on you because she’s holding onto the old you. The past has never been too kind to her, and you have only been good to her since then.”
We both didn’t say anything for the longest time. I let the noises of the Starbucks echo through the restaurant as people came in from the frigid cold. Customers sat down with their group, Yoga moms coming in from their workout as they laughed, and high school girls discussed their next girl’s night. I envied my old life when I didn’t have to worry about Umbra Shades or crazy exes, but had I not gained my powers, I wouldn’t have saved the people that I did at the end of the day.
“Has she said anything else since the last time we were at school?” I asked, breaking the silence. “It should be impossible for her to know that she was pregnant in such a short time.”
Alessander flinched at the last part. “She texted me right after my mom picked me up from school.” He dug his hands into his pocket and pulled out his phone, unlocking it before handing it to me. “She would make my life a living hell and bring me to court, and she would say I raped her.”
There was a hardened tone in his voice that made me look up at him, and I could see how deeply his brows furrowed as he scowled.
I looked down to read through the two texts she sent after Alessander told her that he’d block her if she continued to message him. I was disgusted by her actions. Whatever she had gone through in the past or not, it didn’t make me hate her any less.
I handed him back his phone.
“I don’t think she’ll do it. She has this warped mentality of having a family and the convoluted thought that she loves you. Since, apparently, she never had that herself, she wouldn’t risk that.” I hated saying it, but it was the truth, and getting more police involved was not what we needed. “But, we’ll get through this together. I know we can.”
I slid off the chair and leaned across the table to meet his lips. They were soft and inviting. His hands held my face and pulled me in deeper. My heart was beating fast in my chest, but I knew we had best calm down before we got kicked out.
I separated from the kiss, my cheeks burning. I brushed my hands through my curls, looking around to see if someone was watching us until my phone vibrated in my pocket.
I saw Alessander check his phone at the exact same time.
“It’s Trey,” we said together, then looked at each other. We laughed.
“Want to go to a movie? He writes: ‘Mahogany is feeling better, and her parents didn’t say anything this time’.”
We both agreed that not only would it be best to get our minds off of Veronica, but we hadn’t had time to spend with our friends like we used to.
“You tell him that we’re already at the Six Corners and we’ll meet him there. I’ll ask Helene if she wants to join us.”
***
When Mahogany and Trey walked through the doors of the cinema, I thought that everything seemed fine. Trey was smiling; his eye was still bruised but was healing. Even Mahogany had a smile but that was only after I approached her.
A heavy pressure settled around my shoulders and halted me from moving further. I tried not flinching as I wondered what could be the problem. I narrowed my eyes and looked at the top of Mahogany’s head, and just barely visible was a cloud.
Were things really fine? I’d never seen such a thin cloud.
“Hey, Hira,” Mahogany said before wrapping her arms around me. If she noticed me acting weird, she didn’t say anything and tried to muster as much of a smile as she could.
“Moa, you look good… How are you feeling?” I asked. I saw Trey and Alessander over to the side, talking as they buttered the tub of popcorn we’d bought.
“Feeling better, I guess. Ups and downs, but you know… ” There was a slow drawl in the way that she spoke that made my stomach churn. I didn’t see the ominous shadow around her, but I was worried about the pressure I’d sensed earlier. “I’m glad Alessander is doing better and adjusting… sucks that his ex came back.”
My eyes widened, and I looked at Mahogany. The expression on her face hadn’t changed. She seemed rather calm, even bored, but not angry that her best friend hadn’t told her anything and she had to hear everything from her boyfriend.
Damnit, Trey.
“Moa, I’m sorry, a lot has been going on, and you hadn’t been feeling good, your mom and dad probably would have called the cops on me. There just wasn’t any time.”
The only thing that Mahogany did was shrug her shoulders. “No, I get it. There are things more important, I don’t want to be the burden you constantly have to think about.”
I frowned. The heavy pressure returned, and I started to get an itch on the back of the neck. Moa, why are you saying this? Before I could respond, I saw bright red hair walking through the doors of the movie theatre. I released a sigh and smiled when Helene approached us so I could introduce her to everyone.
“Looks like everyone’s here, you three ready?” Alessander asked us.
“Man, we need another guy friend so the testosterone balances. How about we invite Solomon?” Trey chuckled. Alessander, Helene, and I said ‘no’ simultaneously. He held up his hands in surrender, lips stretched into a smile, He then walked over to Mahogany and took her hand.
“Fine, fine, just a suggestion.”
The heavy pressure settled on my shoulders again, and I looked over at the forlorn expression on Mahogany’s face as her gaze was cast down to her feet. I’d hoped that a day at the movies with my friends would be just what we needed, but the tightening in my stomach suggested otherwise.
I didn’t want to think about the worst-case scenario.
Chapter Seventeen
By Monday school was back in session, and Mom had said that she would drive me to make sure that things were going accordingly. I couldn’t imagine the stress that my mother was going through. I hated the thought that she would adapt Apathy, but she was a strong woman and wouldn’t let anything drag her down.
“Mom, where’s Omari? I haven’t seen him in the morning lately,” I asked as I got in the passenger seat. She was placing AJ into his car seat.
“The precinct needed more people to come in for duty,” she said, strapping in AJ as he giggled. She closed the door and walked to the driver’s side before getting in. “Apparently, the news raved about ‘a vigilante’ that saved some girls from a pedophile. Then there was an incident at The Paper Doll where people reported seeing a hooded figure fighting a gunman. It seems they want to keep track of this vigilante and the random attacks, if they could be connected.”
My heart dropped, but I casually took my phone out of my pocket so my mother wouldn’t see my face. I noticed a message from Alessander saying that he wouldn’t be in school until later in the day, but my mind was wrapped up in the fact that my mother had seen the news. Did she figure that something was strange? What was she thinking right now? What was Omari thinking right now?
Calm down, Hira. This no time to hyperventilate, then you’ll really have to explain yourself.
“Oh? That sounds kind of sketchy. The news makes it sound like the person is some superhero or something.” The car had already started rolling off our street. I wasn’t paying much attention to what
was on my phone as I nonchalantly scrolled through Pinterest memes. “What do you think?”
I glanced at my mother. She had the steering wheel in one hand as she concentrated on the road, before giving me a look from the corner of her eye. I couldn’t help it if my mother was suspicious; I needed to know how much she knew and if I needed to have some kind of back-up excuse.
“What do I think? I think that someone should not be endangering their lives on a whim. Yes, what they’re doing is good, but they could get hurt—or worse. I’m sure that they have a family out there, and they’d be pretty selfish to put their life at risk like that.”
My stomach tightened as guilt settled in. My mother wouldn’t share her thoughts on the matter to make me feel guilty, even if she didn’t know that she was doing it.
“Whoever is doing this should leave matters to the police. We don’t live in a comic book world where we need heroes prancing about and fighting evil.”
Or do we?
Who knew how much this Apathy could spread? The way the world worked, people could be running amok with Umbra Shades waiting to feed their ‘The Great One.’ If something like that was possible, I couldn’t be sure what the world needed.
“But what if, Mom,” I said. I knew I shouldn’t have said anything, but my mouth was running on autopilot, “the police aren’t able to do anything? Like there was something that was out of their limits.”
Yeah, okay, like that isn’t suspicious.
My mother parked the car outside of the school and turned to me in her chair. “What is this all about, Hira? Why the sudden fascination?”
I swallowed the lump building in my throat, hunching my shoulders. “No reason, really. I guess it’s just interesting, and I just figured that if there was someone there, that was helping, could they really be a vigilante? I’m not saying they’re like a hero, but they shouldn’t be targeted like they are now. Do you think the Tribune would do a story about them?”
She sighed. “I don’t know, baby. You understand my feelings on the subject. I would just hate seeing this person getting killed trying to do the right thing because someone else messed up. As for the Tribune, there will definitely be conversations about it, but it isn’t a story that we can latch onto, unless—God forbid—the end of the world happened.”
