When he had heard of the grave situation his father was in, he had wanted to run to him but certain situations required his attention so he had stayed behind wishing the situation away and when it was over with, he had come running for him. A part of him wished he hadn't, he had wanted to remember him as the proud and powerful man of his childhood not the wasted skeleton he was now.
Dougal looked away from his father and down at the sleeping girl and the sweet memory of the night before flooded him. He clung to the warm memory like a cold man. She was painfully beautiful in her sleep, her face on a state of peaceful repose, her hair all over her face. Her mouth was slightly open and she snored softly. It brought a small smile to his face. It was a sound he would like to listen to forever, lying next to her and listening to her make little noises in her sleep, making her make those soft little moans that she did when he kissed her last night, again and again.
As though aware he was watching her, she moved to her other side, her back to him and not knowing why, it amused him.
“Dougal!” A soft voice called into a near gloom, a voice he recognised as his brother's. He stiffened, he had never spoken to Lucas before, nothing past greetings and acknowledgements. They had never talked like proper siblings like he had done with Seonag, his mother had always hidden him away from Dougal as if she was afraid if the lad was left with him he would do him great harm. It was always in her eyes when Lucas was within his reach and he resented her for that thought, that he would harm his flesh and blood was unthinkable. But still, for peace, he had kept away. But here was the lad now, seeking him out. Dougal wondered how much poison his mother had poured into his heart; how much she had turned Lucas against him. He'll get his answer soon.
The lad stepped into the pool of light the lamp had created, his head bowed and his demeanour was unsure. As Dougal was wondering what to say to him, the lad spoke.
“I came to see him earlier, but I got scared and ran away, like a coward.” He confessed shame dripping from his words.
“It's okay. Mayhap the change shocked ye, it happens,” Dougal said stiffly.
“It does?” Lucas said, looking up with eyes huge with hope. He had his mother's eyes but they weren't bright with hate and bitterness but instead with curiosity as his eyes moved up and down his older brother, taking a measure of him.
“Aye. I ken because I myself have done the same. Ye were braver than me I reckon, I couldna even open the door.”
“Really?”
“Aye.”
“Mother says father will die soon and ye'll send us away as soon as ye become chief.”
Dougal cursed Caitir under his breath to breath such words into the ears of a lad his age. What does she want? To turn his own brother against him by whispering poisonous lies and sowing seeds of discord and resentment.
“Nay. Never Lucas. Ye are my brother, I will never send ye away. Your mother is mistaken, her grief has distorted her mind but pay no attention to what she said, father will have my hide if I turn ye out and even if he doesna, I willna do that to my flesh and blood. Ye hear me, Lucas?”
The lad had ducked his head again as Dougal was speaking and he looked up after, his eyes glistening with tears.
“Thank ye Dougal. Can I train with the men on the morrow?”
Dougal felt something swell in him as the lad's request, it felt like the lad was opening a door of chance for them to be together as brother and brother, he appreciated it and grinned at the boy.
“Of course Lucas, we'll be glad to have ye there. Now go to bed, ye can come see father when the sun is up. We'll come together.”
The lad gave a responding grin and bounded out of the chambers. Dougal returned to studying his father. He should leave also, there would be more work waiting for him as the sun rose. He was turning to leave when he heard a shuddering sigh from Lili and looking down he saw she was shivering from the cold. It was then he became aware of how drafty the chamber was and there was no blanket covering her from the cold, she only had her gown for protection. A bit alarmed, he yanked the drapes shut stemming the entry of the cold air yet she continued shivering.
An idea occurred to him, with one lamp on she wasn't likely to get warm in the cold hall any time soon and having spent a lot of times outdoors exposed to the elements he was aware of how she felt. Fetching the only blanket he could find, a thin coarse one, he pulled off his boots and got in the bed beside her. It was a snug fit and his body was moulded against hers. Ignoring the fire that was igniting in him by the simple contact, he pulled the blanket over the both of them and settled to sleep.
But sleep did not come. Hyper aware as he was about the softness of her body, the lush curves hidden beneath her gown, the way she had tasted when he kissed her, the smell of her hair and the soft sounds she was making. She had stopped shuddering and her breathing had evened; she had relaxed against him. Succumbing to the urge that had swamped him, he put his arm around her and drew her even closer, his nose buried in the silky softness of her hair and inhaling the scent of heather and spices. She clung to his arm and her touch jolted him, she mumbled some nonsense that brought a smile to his face before settling back to silence. Somehow the smell of her hair, the rising and falling of her chest against his arm and the soft sound of her breathing lulled him to sleep.
“Ye will have tae step intae your father's boots while he is on the sick bed,” Master Aodh said.
“I am aware of that Aodh, I intent to do that. No need to remind me.” Dougal settled himself into his father's chair. It felt strange to him sitting here and being talked to by Aodh when all his life he had been on the other side of the oaken desk.
“Tell me,” he said, trying to distract himself from the onslaught of painful memories. “Would he…” He trailed off but Aodh understood him perfectly. His grave look told Dougal he had been foolish to ask but he went on. “It has been three days and there is no change in him.”
“Aye, and with each sun rise and sun set he grows weaker. He has not long to live lad, all we can do is ease his passing.”
Dougal had already known that fact and accepted it bit it hurt nonetheless to hear it said out loud. He had known a day would come when his father wouldn't be there anymore, whether from age or illness or a war, he didn't know but now that the day was coming, he felt like a wee lad, scared, unprepared and unsure.
“’Twill be alright lad. Your father wouldna want ye to break down on the account of him.”
Dougal nodded at that. His own grandfather had died long before Dougal was born, when his father was little more than a wee lad and he had had to step into the rather large boots left behind. Although there had been a few missteps on his part, at the end he had being a chief everyone respected and loved. Dougal was much older than his father had been when he had to take the responsibility of the clan and he had done a good job of it, it was his turn now and everyone would be watching him, measuring him with the same yardstick as his father. It was his fear that he would let them down.
“He'll do good lad, ye are too much like your father, you have his mind and his cunning.”
Dougal felt grateful for those words and was about to ask Master Aodh the service of an advisor he had rendered his father when a soft timid knock came on the door and it opened to reveal Lili. At the sight of her, his heart sped up. He had been seeing much of her lately as she has become Aodh's assistant in taking care of the sick Laird. Every evening he had stayed outside the door listening to her play and be soothed by it. The night he had lain by her side on the narrow bed, his arm around her, was the best and most peaceful of his life but he had had to leave before dawn, reluctantly though, as not to startle her with his presence when she awoke. He would remember the soft warm feeling for the rest of his life, as well as the taste of her lips.
She blushed at the sight of him but nonetheless remained composed and was about to speak before Aodh burst out.
“Damn it lass! I told ye not to leave him alone.”
She didn't start at the fi
erceness of his voice instead she waited until he was done before relaying the message. “The Laird is asking for ye master Aodh and I dinnae leave him alone, lady Seonag is with him.”
Aodh looked mollified and a bit sheepish. “Oh!” He said. “I best be on my way then. Come along lass.”
Lili snuck a glance at him as she followed the physician out, her cheeks rosy with blush. Dougal thought the image had seared itself into his head forever. Smiling, he returned to the report on his desk when for the second time that morning, the door to the solar was opened admitting Lady Caitir in all her cold glory. She swept in, the hem of her dress and earasaid trailing behind her. She was decked in the jewels his father had presented for her on the day they got married, and for the first time since he had known her she was wearing makeup. Intrigued, Dougal leaned back against the seat, wondering what mischief she was up to.
“I see ye have made yourself comfortable in my husband's seat.” She said with enough vitriol to dissolve the desk into a puddle of goo.
“My father's seat and none can make themselves comfortable in this chair with all the knobs and knots. Can be quite a pain in the arse.”
Caitir looked sharply away as though his words had physically wounded her.
“I have not come here to listen to your foul words,” she hissed, still looking away from him.
Dougal knew it was her way of dismissing him, letting him know that he meant nothing to her. Once it had hurt now it was just irritating. He saw her as she was now, a bitter jealous woman who clung to years long scorn as though they were her a piece of wood keeping her afloat in a churning ocean. Curious, he wondered why she was here. She had never sought him out before, decked in her fineries like armour.
“Then why have ye come? I dinnae request your presence. Have ye come to congratulate me?”
Caitir scoffed, her head turning sharply to face him and he was surprised by the fire of rage and hate burning in them.
“Congratulate ye!” She spat out. “Dinnae be a fool bastard, my husband still draws breath.”
“Why have ye come?” He repeated.
Her eyes burned fiercely for a moment before dimming and he saw something behind her eyes that he had never seen before, something like fear and anxiety. But it was gone in a moment as she schooled her expression into a blank mask.
“I have a favour to ask of ye!” She said through gritted teeth.
It must have cost her a lot to admit that. Dougal wanted to tease her, to deny her of her request as she had several of him but he checked that impulse he was a man grown now not a wilful and impulsive youth.
“What is it Caitir?”
“I know of your disdain towards the McLagans, and ye've fought my husband so hard on the issue of Seonag's marriage to Marcus McLagan.”
“But they are married,” Dougal pointed out.
“Aye, but it is a hand fasting, a temporary marriage. If my husband dies ye'll be the leader of the clan and ye can break the marriage if ye choose to.”
“Ye are asking me not to.”
“I’m begging ye not to.”
Dougal leaned forward, placing his hands on the desk. “Why? Why did ye marry your daughter to a McLagan. You brought the proposal to father and convinced him it was the right match. Why?”
“I did no wrong in what I did. Marcus McLagan is the perfect match for my daughter and my husband saw it that way too.”
“Except me, and now father is sick and I could have the power to destroy what you've been working for.”
“That's why I came to ye, to beg ye not to end the marriage. If ye loved my daughter as ye claim ye do, it is the best thing we can do for her.”
There was more she wasn't telling him and even if he prodded at her she still wouldn't say. To be honest it hadn't occurred to him that he could end Seonag's marriage and now that it was so, he pondered on it.
“Verra weel. I will think upon it. If that is all…”
“Aye it is.” She seemed to struggle with saying something before turning on her heels and striding out from the solar.
She was barely gone when another knock came and Lili came into the solar, her face flushed but from exertion and not embarrassment, her hair askew and her eyes frantic and worried. He was already out from his seat and coming towards her.
“Master Dougal!” She panted out. “Lady Seonag has ran away!”
Chapter 12
He is taking this calmly, Lili thought, too calm if I might add. What is he thinking?
“Are ye certain of what you speak?” Dougal asked. “Calm down, wait until your heart has stopped racing before ye answer. Deep breaths, that's it.” His hands were on her shoulders, steading her and providing a bit of comfort.
Lili nodded, breathing deeply and evening until she felt her heart beat returning to normal.
“Good, now tell me. Where has Seonag gone to? Wasn’t she with Aodh and father?”
“Aye she was but she left under the excuse she wasna feeling verra well. Then the chief was asking for her and I was sent to go fetch her but she wasna in her room.”
“Did ye check the garden?”
“Aye, but she wasna there. And also, her lady mother's to and young master Lucas'. Master Marcus also hasna seen her since morning. Some of the guards said they saw her leave for the outer bailey and I thought she mighta gone to the chapel but father Colum said she hadna come to the chapel. The guards at the gatehouse said she left on her horse into the village.”
“How long did they say she was gone for?” Dougal asked.
“About half an hour.”
“Alright, ye've done verra well Lili. Now in want ye to go back to your tasks, the men and I will find her and bring her back safely. She provably went into town to buy some trinkets.”
Lili nodded in support of that theory knowing fully well that Seonag had ran away and with Ailbeart. He was missing as well and Mistress Eubh had caught her as she searched frantically for Seonag to deliver that news to her. When Lili had informed her of Seonag's absence the older woman had come to the conclusion that they both had given into their passion and absconded together.
“Oh that mooncalf will be the death of me,” mistress Eubh had moaned, deeply distressed.
Lili had wondered if she should tell Dougal about Ailbeart's disappearance as well on her way up to inform him that Seonag was missing but decided against knowing fully well his disdain for her friend. He would have him severely punished and most possibly banish him from the castle, and she would not want that. She had planned to take Wee Laird with her when Dougal was busy taking out the men on a discrete search party for his sister, and thoroughly search the castle for Ailbeart for the remote chance he was in one of his hiding places, sulking over Seonag's marriage.
“Ye'll be careful won't ye?” She blurted as Dougal headed for the door and then mentally cursed herself for speaking to him in such a familiar way. Even though they had shared a kiss, even though she had woken a few midnights ago to his arms around him, keeping her warm from the cold, he was still her master she was nothing more than a servant. Just like Ailbeart was.
“Of course, we'll find Seonag and bring her back safe and sound before an hour runs out. Dinnae worrit yourself.” He accompanied his words with a kiss to her forehead and left her in the solar, gaping.
Lili collected Wee Laird outside the keep when she had sufficiently recovered from the shock. Their first destination was the tower but there was no sign of him there, nor was he in the garden, or Eubh's garden or in the abandoned shed right next to the brewery. It was almost sundown and more than an hour since Dougal had assembled a search party of his most trusted men to look for his sister and with each moment they were gone, she felt Ailbeart would surely be caught and punished.
“Have ye found him?” Mistress Eubh asked her when she went to the kitchen to check if he had returned while she was out searching.
“No mistress Eubh, I've checked the places I know of that he could be hiding in but he is not there.”
> There was clear panic written on the head of the kitchen's face, a panic Lili was feeling at the moment. Ailbeart was stubborn, if Dougal had caught up with him and Seonag already he might decide to fight him rather than returning meekly with his tail between his legs. Dougal was a trained warrior while Ailbeart was just a really clumsy tall lad who had never held a sword before, Dougal would tear him to pieces. Fear crept into her heart, fear for her friend and some for Dougal as well if he would have to beat Ailbeart to pulp before he could return with his sister. He wouldn't want that, she knew that of him, even though he held the lad in contempt. But he might if Ailbeart forced him.
Distantly she wondered what had led them to finally run away, who had thought of it first and convinced the other, or had they thought of it together. Ailbeart had been so distant ever since Seonag's hand fasting that they should have suspected he would do something like this, she would have tried to talk him out of it if she was in the kitchen but alas she had to nurse the chief, a task that had kept her so busy she could spare a single thought for herself not to talk Ailbeart. Even though she had been busy and had a tangible excuse, she still felt she had failed him.
“Have ye checked the hills, and the loch? Aye, the loch he likes going there as well,” Lili asked.
“Aye lass. Sent Ailis tae check bu' he wasna there. He has run away wi' lady Seonag.” She made a distressing sound. “He'll surely be found and turned oot of the castle. Ye should go back ter your post lass, there's nothin' we can do but pray he has the sense tae abandon this foolish dream he has and return home. Go back Lili, the chief will surely be needing ye.”
Lili went but with great reluctance. The chief was asleep when she returned to his chambers and master Aodh gave her a series of instructions before he departed. With nothing to do except wait, Lili prayed that the two rebels were both alright and were on their way back to the castle already before Dougal found them and Ailbeart got into trouble.
Healing the Highlander's Heart Page 8
