Imperfect Consequences

by Piper Stone

  Flanking her side, he shoved his hands in his pockets and breathed in the salty air. “Coming here was a good idea.”

  “Mmm…”

  “I mean that. I really do.”

  “Good,” Shannon whispered. “Stephen is a… he’s an interesting man. He does seem to have a knack of getting inside of his patients quickly.”

  “Is that what we are, his patients?”

  “You know what I’m saying. I think, in truth, he thinks of us as members of a society of sorts, as if the world can’t quite figure out how to handle the kind of people we are. I don’t know how to put what I see into words.”

  David longed to touch her but kept the six inches between them. “We and these beliefs are different, I guess, to many in society. The funny thing is, we’re all just trying to find a centered spot in our relationship, one we can rely on and trust, find peace in.”

  “Is that what you’re doing?”

  “Isn’t that what we’re both doing?”

  Shannon exhaled. “I’m longing to have a total connection, one I don’t have to question.”

  “You mean a man you can count on?” David asked tentatively.

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You didn’t have to.”

  “David, I…” Shannon groaned. “I’m not trying to pick a fight here.”

  “And neither am I.” He heard the terseness in his voice and growled inwardly. “Why don’t we just talk? Okay?”

  Shannon remained quiet for a long time. “Abandonment. When I wrote the word, I wasn’t certain I was thinking about our relationship, but now I know I was.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m not certain who I am any longer. I just haven’t been focused, connected to anything or anyone.”

  “The job?” David asked tentatively.

  “That’s part of it. I used to love what I do. Now, I’m not so certain.”

  “Is this about being an attorney or the subject matter?”

  She smiled and shook her head. “The subject matter, I guess. I’m so sick and tired of working with people who think they’re all that and a bag of chips. Community associations aren’t just complicated and far too closely-knit environments, they’re really big sandboxes for very bad children. They house the kind of children you want to put over your knee and smack until they can’t sit for days on end.”

  “Kind of like how I feel about you at times?”

  Snorting, Shannon burst into laughter. “Exactly like that. Impetuous. Hard headed. Bitchy. They fit me to a tee.”

  “And we don’t even live in an association.”

  “Very funny, buster.”

  “You bet I am. Have to be,” David chortled. “So quit.”

  “Quit? You have to be kidding me?” Shannon turned to face him.

  “I’m not kidding at all. If the job is making you this unhappy, then quit. The firm is doing very well with new clients all the time. I know I’m working too many hours, but I’m going to be making at least twice what I’ve been, and I foresee more, much more.”

  She eyed him suspiciously. “So, what exactly am I supposed to do, be a housewife?”

  “No. Be anything you want. Open your own firm. Write.”

  “Write? As in books?”

  He had to think about how to answer. “The blog you started. People seemed to gravitate toward learning about domestic discipline. Why don’t you do that and see where it goes?” Seeing the surprise in her eyes made him feel warm inside. “Seriously.”

  “I… Not a bad idea.” Shannon looked away quickly. “I was offered a huge promotion, one that would take me into the stratosphere of my career.”

  “That’s… wonderful.” Jameson. David knew there were several strings attached.

  “Yeah, except it would mean moving to Miami.” Her words were barely audible, and she tipped her head, locking eyes with David.

  “Miami? As in Florida?”

  She nodded. “Yeah and they want my answer in days. I’d be in charge of a brand-new division there, one I know would be good for me. I’ll serve on the Board of Directors as well.”

  “Well, now.” David gave her a look, studying her face. “And what about my company, my firm that I’ve worked so hard to get off the ground? What about that?” David bristled.

  “Hold on. I didn’t tell him yes.”

  “Him? You mean Jameson, as in the man you were kissing?” The second he said the words, it was as if he’d struck her across the face. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

  “No, you have every right to question. Yes, he would be there for a while to help get the division running. I just…”

  “You just weren’t going to tell me about this until after we returned or until after you made your decision?”

  “You’re part of this decision!” Shannon’s eyes flashed.

  “Yeah, I can tell.”

  “Bastard!”

  The slap was hard and right across his face. Hissing, he grabbed her wrist, twisted her arm around to her back and yanked her against him. “Never do that again. Do you hear me? Never!” As soon as he heard her whimper, he let go.

  She jerked away, and the momentum made her off balance. She hit the sand with her knees and hands, moaning as she lowered her head.

  “Oh Jesus.” Dropping beside her, David was mortified at his actions. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t trying to hurt you.” He could see others from the group watching them. He hated being in an open space, being looked at like he was an abusive husband. Maybe he was.

  Crying softly, she kept her head down. “I… you’re… so… you’re right.”

  “No, I’m not right about anything. Nothing. I shouldn’t have grabbed you.” David gently rubbed her back, surprised she didn’t flinch.

  “Look, I was taken off guard by the promotion opportunity. I thought they were going to fire me because I’ve been not all there lately.” Laughing, she rubbed her mouth and sat back on her haunches, giving him a cautious look.

  “You’re all gung-ho. Why in the world would you think they’d fire you?”

  “I’ve been so distracted, made some mistakes. I just thought for sure I was being called in so they could fire me. When they offered me the job, I laughed in their face. I actually laughed. Then Jameson was tasked with trying to convince me, so we went out. He did his best to sweeten the deal and I can tell you, it’s very sweet.”

  David couldn’t resist. “How sweet?”

  “Let’s just say you wouldn’t have to work if you didn’t want to. Ironic, isn’t it? You’re telling me to quit and stay home, and I could tell you the same, just that you’d have to give up everything you’ve worked so hard for. I bought time to think about it, but not much time. If I don’t take it, I have a feeling my days are numbered. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just nervous, not thinking clearly.”

  “Because of us.”

  Shannon took his hand, kissing his palm. “Yes, but mostly me. I’m questioning so many things about why I can’t be a better wife, a better partner. I can’t seem to be your friend and it’s really bothering me.”

  “That’s why we’re here, honey. To get some help and I am on board with this. I really am.” The anguish in her eyes was killing him.

  “I know.”

  “You really think I’d leave you over a job offer?”

  “No.” Moving in the sand so she could face him, she took both hands. Tears were streaming down her face and for a full minute, she wouldn’t speak. “You’re going to find out soon enough because the Press has already contacted me. I was married to Mark Preston, the wide receiver from The New England Patriots.”

  Oh, dear God, he wasn’t certain he could fake not showing that he knew. “You’re kidding me? Didn’t he go to prison or something?”

  Surprised, she opened her eyes wide. “Yes, because he killed a man, pretty much in self-defense, but the court system didn’t care and he… he paid for his crimes, but he was an angry man when he was put away. I should have been there
for him, but I couldn’t. Not that he wanted me to and I don’t know, I just tried to fix things, but there was no way and…”

  David placed his finger over her mouth. “Honey, you’re rambling, and you don’t have to do this. If you’re afraid of Mark, then we’ll get a protective order.”

  “No. You need to listen to me, please. What happened was all my fault.”

  “Your husband beating a man to death was your fault? Give me a break. I hear he had some real anger issues, the kind that need serious help.”

  Shannon titled her head. “You read about him. You know, don’t you?”

  “What I know is that you’re not to blame. He is. I understand why you’re afraid of him.”

  “I thought I was, but seeing him the other day was…”

  “What?” David interrupted. “What the hell do you mean you saw him the other day?”

  “He followed me and found me at the club Jameson took me to, but just listen to me. Please,” Shannon begged. “He’s a broken man. Prison wasn’t good for him, in the sense he’s so haunted, so beaten. He is so remorseful for what happened that I can’t be angry with him. I just can’t.”

  “But he ruined your life.” David couldn’t believe she had any care for the man. Not after what he did.

  “No, I ruined his life. I um…” Shannon looked down.

  David cringed, knowing what she was going to say. “Honey, you can tell me anything. Anything.”

  Shannon wrung her hands and remained quiet for a full minute. “Mark and I were having troubles. Honestly, I thought he was having an affair or ten. He always had a roving eye. I was lonely living in a town where I had no friends. I worked a hell of a lot, even then and after one night I saw him with a woman in a bar, I went to one myself and had a few drinks. I ran into Mark’s best friend there.”

  “Jonesy?”

  “You did find out things.”

  David nodded. “I knew you were worried, so I looked him up. I know the rumor.”

  “That Jonesy and I were having an affair?”

  “And that Mark killed him in a drunken rage.”

  “There’s more to the story,” Shannon whispered as she looked toward the ocean. “See, Walker, that’s Jonesy’s real name, he and I had a lot in common. He wanted to finish law school after his illustrious football career was over, which it would have been soon. He had bad knees and was one major hit away from forced retirement. I helped him get into Harvard Law School. No one knew he was going to take his retirement.”

  “And you fell in love.” For some reason, the news bothered him. Maybe because he could see the faraway look in her eyes.

  “Yeah. We did. Walker was so different than Mark, so loving. For all the big brawn that he was, he could be such a teddy bear. I didn’t mean to fall in love. In fact, I ended it with him because of the guilt I felt.”

  “Let me guess, you reneged, and Mark found out?”

  Shannon rose to her feet, folded her arms and walked toward the ocean.

  David studied her tense form before getting up and moving behind her. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he could hear how ragged her breathing was. “You really cared about Walker.”

  “I cared for both men. I had loved Mark once. He swept me off my feet. Then things changed. The fame got to him and he forgot about me. He believed all the hype. Walker was different, humbled. I’m not certain if it was his upbringing, or the fact he was black, but he was grateful for everything.”

  “Including you.”

  “Including me,” Shannon breathed. “For that, he was murdered.”

  “Honey, you’re not to blame.”

  “If I’d just left it ended none of what happened would have. But I couldn’t stay away.”

  Sighing, David kissed the top of her head. “That was then. Let it go. I don’t blame you for anything. You were trying to find your way. If for any reason you think I will leave you because of that, you’re just wrong. Okay?”

  Shannon stepped away from him until her feet were completely in the water. “You need to hear the rest.” This time her voice cracked.

  David remained still, giving her space.

  “The confrontation didn’t happen in a bar. That was a coverup designed by some PR team. That’s why the rumor mills are there, but no one, not even the police, know the real truth about what happened.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Mark found out more than just Walker and I were having an affair. That’s what set him off. He took a call and he, um…” Coughing, she shook her head over and over again as if pushing away the memory.

  David so longed to hold her in his arms.

  “Mark took a call from my doctor. See, I had to lie about everything. And when he heard the word congratulations, well, he… fell apart.”

  Instantly, David knew. Oh God. Oh God. His heart was breaking for her and for…

  “Mark confronted me, and I was so shocked I said nothing. He knew the baby wasn’t his because we hadn’t had sex in months. He put everything together and was going to ruin Walker. He was going to fucking ruin him,” Shannon squeaked. She raised her fists to the sky.

  “Oh honey, what did he do?” David whispered, his heart racing. Karma was far too fucking cathartic.

  “Mark screamed at me that I was a whore and picked up the phone. He called a reporter he knew, one who would do anything for a big story. I was so fucking pissed off I jerked the phone out of his hand and tossed it across the room. Then it got ugly and Mark… Mark…”

  Unable to take her tears, David reached out for her, turning her so he could cradle her shaking body in his arms. “Shh… It’s going to be all right.”

  “No. Let me finish. I have to finish this.” Shannon pushed hard against him, breaking the hold. She choked back a moan and gently beat his chest with her fist. “I shouldn’t have tried to do anything, but I couldn’t let him ruin the man I… I loved. Don’t you see?”

  “Yes, honey, I do see. I…”

  “How can you?” she interrupted and wiped her eyes. “Mark backhanded me, the force threw me against a wall just as Walker came in after hearing the commotion. All Walker did was try to tend to me and Mark… killed him. He killed him! They argued and screamed, I tried to intervene, and I lost my balance and fell again. I think I lost consciousness.”

  David stood quietly and watched the resolve of the woman he loved change before his eyes. The shell of strength she’d so firmly had around her was gone. The woman standing in front of him was vulnerable, unsure of herself. “And the baby?” The brute had killed the baby. My God.

  She exhaled slowly before her eyes traveled across the perimeter of the ocean. The waves lapped at her feet, the sound merely a whisper across her heated skin. “I don’t think having the child would have been a good idea anyway. That part was an accident. I don’t think of Mark as a monster. He reacted in anger. I don’t remember much about what happened. I was in a lot of pain. I do know he called his manager. He called his fucking manager and not 911. I was told later it wouldn’t have mattered. Walker was dead the second he fell against the glass coffee table, his neck broken. What I knew later was that the manager helped cover up what happened. The police were told a fairly horrific story and I suspect that’s the reason he only received manslaughter one.”

  “Did you testify?”

  “I did, but of course, my credibility was challenged. After the trial was over, I ran. I admit it. The Press was hounding me and suddenly, I was the bad guy. I was the one who’d cost a star his life. There were so many rumors floating around at the time, there was no way to muddle through the truth. I shouldn’t have left.” Shannon shivered.

  “The truth is, you couldn’t have done anything more than you did. You were damn brave. Jesus. No wonder you’re terrified of him,” David whispered.

  She shook her head. “I think I’m more afraid of facing what happened between us. I know I was wrong, which makes what we’re going through worse. What I can tell you, in all honesty, is that
I need to talk with Mark, to tell him I’m sorry and…”

  “Now hold on here!” David realized his voice was booming.

  “David. Let me finish.” She pressed her hand against his chest. “What Mark did was reprehensible, but I had a part in what happened. In order for me to face my demons, I need to say my peace and he deserves to say his. I know it might sound ridiculous to you, but I need to forgive him as he does me. I need to set free the horrors that were started so many years ago in order to be able to move forward. I realized that when I saw him the other night. He was merely looking for my understanding, not even my forgiveness, but I have to allow him time to move on. Can you understand that?”

  Her eyes were imploring, yet so honest. She needed this from David. She needed his total understanding. Shannon was accepting what had happened, forgiving herself as much as she was trying to forgive the man who’d killed her lover as well as her baby. He opened his mouth and suddenly, a flood of emotions so brutal and so very raw raced into his system, cutting off his air. He could see his ex-wife, the lovely woman who hadn’t deserved what had happened to her any more than Shannon had all those years ago. He was cut from the same cloth as Mark. There was no way he could get away from his past. Brushing his fingers across her cheek, he nodded. “More than you know. Do what you need to do. I won’t stand in the way.”

  Shannon seemed relieved, her eyes twinkling in the rising moonlight. Her entire body relaxed, a real smile crossing her face.

  “Do you still think I’m going to abandon you?”

  “Given my behavior as of the last few months? I wouldn’t blame you at all.” She took both of his hands into hers, rubbing her fingers across his skin. “I love you so much, but…”

  “No buts. We’ll get through this. I don’t have any doubt this Jameson guy wants you.” When she didn’t immediately object, he sighed. “He told you?”

  “He… not in so many words. But I know what he wants,” Shannon said quietly. “David, I don’t want him. I don’t want any other man. I just want to move past my life that once was, so I can learn to become the woman you need.”

  David leaned forward, kissing her lips. “You’re already the woman I need. Just find the woman you want to be. Deal?” Keeping the lilt of his voice light, he rubbed her back, but demons inside of him were screaming to be released.