by Tyler, Q. B.
“I’m…good.”
“You sure?” His eyes rake down my body and up again, like he’s not sure that I’m telling him the truth. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair again. “Listen, Livi, I realize that I was an asshole, and I should have been more understanding of the situation. I just wanted to apologize.” He looks at the ground as he shoves his hands into his pockets.
“Olivia, not Livi,” I correct him.
Only Bennett calls me Livi. That’s his thing.
I can see the hurt in his eyes over my correction. “And that is…big of you,” I continue. “But you didn’t have to come down here to tell me that. I believe you already apologized, anyway.”
He drops to the chair in my office and leans over, resting his forearms on my desk. “I don’t want to see you get hurt, Olivia. I do care about you. I know that I’ve been a dick, but you broke up with me to go back to the man that broke your heart. The man I helped you get over.”
Tears prickle in my eyes as I think about refuting his statement that I was back with Bennett. The thump that is still loud between my legs won’t exactly allow that. “I know.” I bite my lip, the tears forming in my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” I wish I knew what to say, but the words are failing me.
“So, what was I…just a substitute until your ex came back? I stroked your hair and held your hand, and made you strong and confident again, all so you could go back to your husband?”
It feels like the wind has been knocked out of me. My stomach is in knots and my throat is suddenly drier than the Sahara. I let out a breath. “No. I never anticipated any of this. I didn’t know that he’d lose his memory and forget what happened that made us broken…” I tell him honestly. “I’m working through all of that now.” I sniffle back the tears. “But I never meant to hurt you, I swear.”
He snorts. “Thanks.”
“I’m serious, David. I…can’t thank you enough for…”
“Using me?” he interjects.
“No! I…”
His eyes snap to mine, cold and angry and defeated. “Did you fuck him?”
I blanch at his words. “David, you’re out of line. That’s none of your business.”
He stands up and shakes his head. “So, that’s a yes. Wow, that took what? A week?” He looks down at his watch before cocking an eyebrow at me. “Classy, Liv.”
Fuck this. I really don’t need this. I get he’s angry, but he doesn’t get to slut shame me for being intimate with my own husband. Ex-husband. WHATEVER.
Remembering where I am, and the fact that I’m entirely to blame for David’s feelings, I calmly speak. “I’d like you to leave.” It’s as if something switches inside of him and he takes a step forward. He reaches his arms out and I flinch away from him.
He frowns. “I’d never hurt you, Olivia. You ran back to the man that broke your heart and you won’t let me touch you?” he shouts as his eyes widen, and for a moment I think he might put his hands on me. I pick up my phone, wondering if maybe I need someone to get him out.
“I’m calling security.”
“For fucking what?” he snarls.
“Because I already asked you to leave, and I’d like you to respect that.”
He huffs and narrows his gaze at me before he takes a step back and shakes his head. “You’d think for someone who was hurt as deeply as you’ve been, you’d be more careful with other people’s hearts. Goodbye Olivia.”
I push through my door and stop almost dead in my tracks when I see Bennett sitting on my couch—with his mother.
“Caroline.” The fake smile that I’d perfected for my mother-in-law, makes its way onto my face just as Bennett jumps to his feet almost guiltily and makes his way towards me.
“Baby…” He can sense my tension, I’m sure, and after the day I’ve had, the last thing I want is to deal with Caroline.
“Olivia.” She nods and takes a sip of her sparkling water, and I glare at Clarke for giving her one of my La Croix.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” I ask, as I slide my slingbacks off my feet and leave them by the door.
“You just leave them there? What, are we in a barn?” She scrunches her nose and looks at my shoes and then at me.
“Mother,” Bennett admonishes and she puts her hands up. I scowl as I pick them up and make my way to my bedroom. I don’t even have a chance to shut the door when he’s behind me. “I am so sorry.”
“Why is your mother here, Bennett?!” I whisper harshly. I want to yell, but a part of me is still scared shitless of Caroline Clarke, and the last thing I need is her hearing the tantrum I’m about to throw. “I’m trying really hard to be respectful because she is your mother. But we aren’t together, and this is my house. And I am this close to telling her to get the fuck out of it. Now what is she doing here?” I hold my index finger and thumb no more than a millimeter apart and hold it in front of his face.
“Okay, first of all, we are together.” His voice is even and awfully confident for a man I’d yelled at this morning. “Secondly, she showed up and I wanted to call you or text you to warn you but my phone doesn’t fucking work.”
“You’re getting a new phone,” I tell him as I put my shoes in my closet and pull off my jacket. “She just showed up?”
“Yes, she wanted to check on me.”
“And let me guess, she had something to say about the fact that I wasn’t here?”
“No. I made it perfectly clear, you’ve been the best nurse.” He raises an eyebrow at me and I scowl at him as I drop on the bed.
“I don’t have it in me for her right now, so can you guys go somewhere else for your mother son bonding or her Olivia bashing. I just can’t.” My eyes well up with tears, and I’m trying my best not to succumb to the pressures of the day but I feel my heart squeezing in my chest.
Bennett must sense I’m at the end of my rope because he sits next to me on the bed. “We’ve had a long talk about how she treats you.”
“You’ve had talks with her before. Nothing changes.”
“This time is different.”
“How?”
“I told her I’d make a choice if she couldn’t treat you like the woman her son is in love with.”
“A choice?” I’d never given Bennett an ultimatum or asked him to choose between his mother and me. I just grew thicker skin and learned to deal with it the very few times I had to, but to hear him standing up to her so fiercely in protection of me makes me feel like maybe he would do whatever it took to win me back.
“Yes, one she wouldn’t love.”
“Me?” I say weakly.
“Yeah, you. Who else?” He gives me a half smile. He pulls my hand into his and gives it a kiss. “I’m sorry about this morning. I didn’t mean to pressure you.”
“Can we talk about it later?” I ask him. “I just want to lay down if that’s okay?”
“I think my mom wants to talk to you. Can you just come out for a little?”
“Bennett…” I start knowing the only way to not have another tedious interaction is to confess to him what happened with David.
He’s going to lose it.
Four and a half minutes later, my door slams open and Bennett is moving towards the living room with me scurrying behind him.
“Mother, can we finish this another time? Olivia and I actually have somewhere to be.”
“Oh, yes of course. I understand prior engagements.” She purses her lips and reaches up on her toes to give Bennett a kiss as he lowers his face. She comes face to face with me and gives me a warm-ish smile. Though I’m not sure if it’s as fake as the one I’m sporting. “Olivia, I’d like for us to have lunch soon. Anywhere you’d like. I’d like a chance to get to know you better.”
I nod, not knowing what to say or whether to take her words as genuine, but I suppose only time would tell. It isn’t something I’m prepared to deal with tonight.
The sounds of her Prada heels are still resounding through the apartment when Bennett is on the move
towards the master bedroom. “I’ll kill him.”
“Bennett, no!” I run after him and almost slam into the back of him when he stops suddenly and turns around.
“Did he touch you? I swear to God if he touched a hair on your head, I’m going to break his fucking fingers.” His eyes are wild and angry, and I know the idea of anyone touching me makes him furious.
“No! No, I’m okay. He’s hurt, Bennett. He didn’t say anything I didn’t already know.” His words stung more than I expected and though I never intended to hurt him, I felt an emotion I could only surmise to be guilt was coursing through my veins.
“He has no right to talk to you like that. Fuck that.” He growls.
“Is it all that surprising? I hurt him.”
“And now he’s borderline stalking you.”
I shake my head. “We don’t know that.”
“Well, I’m not waiting until we know for sure. I’m paying him a visit, and then you’re getting a restraining order.” He says as he moves into the master bedroom.
“For what? He didn’t threaten me.”
“I don’t give a fuck. I know a guy. He’ll put it into motion. He needs to leave you alone.”
“Fairly certain that’s not legal.”
“Fairly certain neither is me murdering him. So, you can choose how the law gets broken and by who, Olivia.” He pulls off his sweats and replaces them with jeans. It’s then I see another suitcase in the room and I wonder if Caroline also brought him more clothes. “Go change.”
“I’m going too?” I squeak.
“Someone has to tell me where he lives. Besides, I’ve seen enough scary movies to know, I go after him and all the while he’s camped out here, waiting for me to leave and then he moves in. No. You go where I go.”
“You’re insane, you know that? Stop with the scary movies. He’s not even dangerous! I’m sorry I even told you. You’re overreacting.” I roll my eyes as I leave his room. I don’t make it two steps before I’m pressed against the wall and his lips are on mine. The kiss is warm and wanting and before I can deepen it, he pulls back. My eyes flutter open and meet his piercing gaze and I can see the worry and fear in his eyes. “I just got you back,” he whispers. “I’m not letting anyone take you from me. He’s unstable and I don’t fucking like it.”
“He’s not unstable, he’s hurt. You were too when I left you. You showed up everywhere I went for six straight weeks.” He presses off the wall and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Bennett, look at me,” I tell him and he does so reluctantly, cocking an eyebrow at me. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?” He chuckles.
“Like you’re irritated with me. I just don’t think it’s fair for you to go over there and flaunt that you’re…back in the picture.” I stand in front of him, running my hands up his chest and to his shoulders which used to be my signal that I wanted to be picked up. He remembers and instantly I’m in his arms with my legs wrapped around his broad waist as he carries me to my bedroom.
“I’ll let this go…for now,” he says as he sits on the bed with me in his lap. “But if he keeps reaching out, I’m going over there to have a little chat.”
I roll my eyes and move out of his arms, pulling off my skirt and pulling on a pair of jeans. Bennett sits on the bed, watching me carefully before he speaks again. “Why are you changing?”
“Did you still want to go to your apartment at least?”
He nods, recalling our conversation from earlier. “If I remember correctly, I have a work phone, I can at least use that for now. Until we get my phone open. You sure we can’t just go to Apple?”
“Not without them completely wiping your phone clean.”
His eyes widen in shock before his expression switches to confusion. “That is wild, what if a scorned lover changes your code or you do it when you’re drunk?”
“Then you’re fucked, and just pray you’ve got everything backed up to the cloud.” I shrug.
“The what?”
“The cloud. It’s like a virtual storage or something,” I say pointing to the sky. “I have no idea what the fuck it is, but I pay like five dollars a month for extra space.”
“Apple is literally garbage. I’m going back to a Samsung after this.”
I cringe, and scrunch my nose in disgust. “I will never text you with green bubbles.”
“Snob,” he jokes. “But seriously, I can also grab my laptop, I haven’t checked in on the market. I have no idea how it’s doing or even where it is after two years. I feel like I’ve been off the grid for an eternity.”
“Yes, I definitely think you should get some of your things. And who knows, maybe something at your apartment will trigger your memory.”
“I’m not trying to overreact, Livi. And maybe this is partly due to my own jealousy that there’s been someone else.” He lets me go and he grabs my hand as we walk down the block towards the corner to hail a cab. “It makes me crazy that he touched you and I know—I know I set all of this in motion with my choices, I just…”
I squeeze his hand not exactly knowing what to say as he raises his hand towards the street. “You need to tell me if he bothers you again, alright? I know you want to let this go, but if he keeps bothering you, we’re escalating this.”
I nod, knowing that he’s right. He ushers me into a cab and I give the driver the address to Bennett’s apartment. It takes us about twenty minutes to get there, and I’m grateful for the virtual silence we’re riding in as I mentally prepare for entering Bennett’s apartment. I know where it is, but I’d never been inside, and I’m honestly afraid of what I might find.
Amanda’s clothes hanging in the closet?
Her panties in his bed?
Or maybe Amanda hadn’t meant as much to him as I thought, and he had a slew of women in and out of his apartment. I bite my bottom lip as we come to a stop in front of Bennett’s building. He helps me out and I stare up at it, a knot in my stomach that I wasn’t expecting.
“Hey, you alright?”
I let out a breath and nod once. “It’ll be weird being in your house. One that’s not going to have any signs of…me.”
He crosses his arms and follows my gaze towards the door where a doorman stands staring at us warily. I don’t recognize him, and I’ll admit to driving by once or twice…a week…early on in our separation. “Do you want to wait in the lobby, and I’ll just run up?”
“No.” I shake my head. I’m curious and maybe also a glutton for punishment, but a part of me wants to know what he was up to while we were apart. I know if we are going to be together again, I have to let all of these things go, but there might be some things I need to know. Blanks that even Bennett won’t be able to fill in at this stage.
“I don’t want to make you upset if there’s anything up there…”
“Mr. Clarke.” The doorman opens the door for us and he looks me over before looking at Bennett.
“Thank you,” he responds. “Oh, this is my wife.” He points at me and I can see the confusion on the doorman’s face before fixing it and I give him a polite nod and wave before Bennett guides me inside.
I wait for him to lead the way, temporarily forgetting that he doesn’t know where we’re heading so I pull up my American Express app to pull up the credit card statement that we still share so I can confirm his apartment number when I hear a woman’s voice. I look up in time to see a woman flying around the counter and towards us. Her red hair flowing behind her long and wild as she pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose.
“Oh my God, Mr. Clarke! We’ve been so worried. I’ve spoken to your mother and Amanda, and I just…” She looks at me and then back to Bennett. “I…how are you feeling?” There’s a pang of jealousy hearing that she knows Amanda well enough to speak with her regarding Bennett. He must feel it because he squeezes my hand.
“Still a little banged up but getting better. My wife has been taking really good care of me.” He smiles as he points at me and I’ll a
dmit this little game is getting uncomfortable. When it’s clear none of these people know who I am, it just adds salt to the wound that I could feel opening the second we pulled up to the building.
“Right.” She nods. “Well, it’s good to see you, and nice to meet you.” She nods at me. We make it to the elevator and I shoot Bennett a glare.
“Can you stop doing that?”
“Doing what?”
“Clearly they’re used to seeing Amanda, or whoever else…not me.”
“Well, I want it to be clear that I’m with you, just in case anyone’s been here. Who even knows what my mother has been telling anyone and what if Amanda has shown up here?”
I sigh, as we reach the fifth floor and Bennett follows me out of the elevator. “Nice building. I wonder what the units are going for?” He runs his hand along the wall and I look up at him. “Not for us, I’m thinking about work.” He chuckles. “Although, I think we should look for somewhere new.”
The words us and we blare in my mind. “You want to move out of our apartment?”
His eyes widen and he stops me in my tracks. “What did you say?”
“What?” I repeat what I said in my head and realize my Freudian slip.
He smiles, his eyes light and seductive as he pulls his keys from his pocket. “You said ‘our.’”
I clear my throat and continue walking down the hall. “I meant ‘my.’”
“Too late. You said ‘our,’ and I think it’s something to think about…a fresh start for us.”
I frown when we stop in front of his door. “I love that apartment.”
“I just thought we could think about it. If you want to stay, that’s fine.” He shrugs as he tries a few of the keys to figure out which is correct. “I want to be wherever you want to be.” He smiles and stands in front of the door, looking down at me. “Now, before we go in here, you need to promise not to hate me for anything you may find.”
I nod reluctantly, knowing I can’t be upset over something that happened while we were apart.
