by Nikki Mays
Ben hops back and looks at me in alarm. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” The worry on his face would be sweet if I wasn’t freaking out right now.
I look into his worried eyes, with ones that I’m sure look terrified to him. “Ben,” I whisper, “we didn’t use a condom.”
He blinks a few times before nodding and taking a deep breath. “Okay,” He sits back on his heels, “well, I haven’t been with anyone but you for close to a year and have had a physical. And I’m sure that you’re clean as well.”
Momentarily forgetting that I’m freaking out, I frown and shake my head. “How can you be sure of that? I could be the town whore or something.”
His snort is annoying. “Except that we live in the smallest town in America that’s filled with the biggest gossips. Trust me, I know how long it’s been since you broke up with your last boyfriend. And the rumor mill would run rampant if you were the town whore.” He chuckles.
“Oh.” Is my genius response. “Okay, but what about pregnancy Ben? I was going next week to get an implant. I am on absolutely no form of birth control right now.”
“Okay, well it’s not like we’re kids Jess. We’re both grown adults with good jobs. It’s not the end of the world.” He gives me a boyish smile that alleviates some of my panic for reasons that I’m not going to look at right now. “Plus, just imagine how cute a kid with both of our looks would be.” His brow furrows. “As long as it’s a boy. We can’t have a girl who looks like you.” I start to get offended until he continues. “No way, I don’t own any guns. Little fuckers would be all over her. Then I would owe Marc favors for pushing them in front of cars for me and that shit will end badly. He’s the worst person to owe a favor to.” He looks up at me and blinks. “What’s wrong?”
I don’t even know how to process half of the thoughts that are running through my head right now. If I had to pick a feeling though, it would be horror.
I start to speak a few times and stop to try to collect my thoughts better. I bite on my bottom lip trying to think of how to go about this before deciding to just go for it. “You don’t want to have a girl because you would owe your brother in-law favors for pushing, mostly likely teenage boys in front of cars? Was that basically the main plot?” I ask oh so slowly, still unable to fully comprehend this conversation.
Ben nods his head while looking at me as if I’m the weird one currently. “Yeah, pretty much. Why are you looking at me like?” He tilts his head with a frown.
I can feel my eyes go wide. “Looking at you like what? A psycho who is going to ask a police officer to possibly kill someone?”
He moves around to sit firmly on his ass and holds out his arms. “Well I can’t do it. He has more practice.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “That’s… that’s not where I was going with that Ben.” I murmur.
He gives me thoughtful look that doesn’t make me feel any better. “I guess you’re right.” Huh, maybe it does. “I could probably get him to teach me how to do it and make it look like an accident, or as he likes to say “act of God” or whatever.” Never mind, the last thing I feel right now is better.
I ignore his disturbing chuckle to his last sentence for my sanity. “Do you seriously not realize how crazy you sound right now? You’re imagining throwing teenage boys who are trying to date your nonexistent teenage daughter in front of moving vehicles.”
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with planning out your life ahead of time.” He grumbles.
“There is when you’re planning murder!” I bring my hands up to my face and rub my temples. “You know what? Let’s just get back to the matter at hand. You know, the actual possibility of me being pregnant.”
“Okay?” His tone unsure.
How is it possible to want to kiss and kick someone at the same time? It has to be those stupid abs, those blue eyes and that freaking beard. It’s all the beards fault. What woman can actually turn down a man who can grow a full thick beard, that he keeps immaculately trimmed? No one, that’s who. I blame everything that has happened between us on the beard. And possibly a lot of alcohol that first night. But definitely the beard.
“What are we going to do?” I ask as the fear begins to creep back in.
He covers his lower half with my comforter and hands me his discarded shirt to put on. I take it from him and only inhale a little of his scent when I put it on.
“How would you like us to handle it if you are pregnant?” He says calmly.
Why the hell is he so calm? Wouldn’t most men be freaking out and running for the hills? I know all of my exes would be, even when we had been together for a while. Hmm, I need to ponder my horrible taste in men a little bit later on.
I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly. My hands begin to fidget with the buttons on his shirt. “I really don’t know. I didn’t grow up like you. I didn’t have a great example of how parents are supposed to be. What if I am pregnant and turn out to be as shitty as they are?” I grab onto the side of my head and yank at my hair. “Ah, what if I’m actually worse than they are?”
“That isn’t the case, so we don’t have to worry about that.” He says nonchalantly.
I blink a few times. “How could you know that Ben?”
He gives me a small smile before pulling me into his lap. He turns my face towards his with his index finger. “Because if you were anything like how you’ve described them to be, I highly doubt that you would be so concerned about your ability to be a good mother.” He says in a low, gentle voice that almost has me convinced that everything would be okay. “But since it just happened, you could always take the morning after pill.”
I lay my head against his shoulder and sigh. “I can’t take it. I’m allergic to Levonorgestrel, which is weird since it’s just a synthetic progestogen, but I can’t even take regular birth control pills. I found out the hard way when I was fifteen and tried to take birth control. My throat closed up and my entire face swelled. It was unpleasant to say the least.”
“I would say so.” He mutters into the top of my head. “Well, I guess the only thing that we can do is wait. And obviously use condoms from now on.”
I pull away enough to look at his face. “What makes you think that I’m ever letting you near me again?”
“Besides you being all snuggled in my lap?” The smug ass replies.
I narrow my eyes. “That doesn’t mean that your penis is getting near me.”
I watch his lips twitch and get annoyed with myself for the little flip that my belly does. “As much as I would love to keep this conversation going, it’s been a long day. Why don’t you go do whatever it is that women do to get ready for bed and I’ll go let Dragon out.”
He gets up and regretfully puts his tight boxers back on. “You’re sleeping here?”
“Where else would I be sleeping?” He leans against my wall with his arms crossed over his very defined chest.
“At your place?” I say to his abs.
“Yeah, that doesn’t really work for me.”
I look up into his dancing eyes. “And what if I kick you out?” I ask haughtily.
The grin he gives me is nothing short of wicked. “What would be the point? I’ll just let myself back in.”
I cross my arms, mimicking his pose. “Not if I take the key away from you.”
He bursts out laughing much to my annoyance. “Baby, you act like you’ve never met my mother. If she taught us anything, it was to always think of every possible scenario when you’re doing something that you’re not supposed to.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
He walks lazily over to me and says, “I made sure to make a bunch of keys just in case you tried to get that key back,” before giving me a brief kiss and walking out of my room.
“I swear, I don’t know how all of those boys didn’t end up to be criminals thanks to Dee.” I mutter to myself as I wash my face and brush my teeth.
I get into bed and almost immediately fall
asleep… still wearing his shirt.
The next few weeks are some of the fastest and slowest of my entire life. Thanksgiving is in a few days and the salon has been slammed. Everyone comes in to make sure that they look their best so that their family has one less thing to comment on. Seriously, listening to some of the stories they tell about what happens during the holiday makes me glad that it’s just usually me on my couch, with the exception of maybe Edge, but even that’s rare.
It’s been long enough that I could take a pregnancy test but I’ve been too chicken shit to actually do it. The fucked up part? I don’t know whether I want it to be positive or negative. I mean, obviously I don’t really want to be pregnant, but at the same time I feel like I might be disappointed if I’m not. I swear, I’m such a damn mess lately.
The only calming part of my day is when I see Ben, which should probably be the opposite but whatever. He practically lives at my place at this point, even though he has a gorgeous home. I even asked if he was ever going to go back to his place. His response? “When you’re ready to come with me.” What kind of man actually says shit like that? I was woefully under prepared for that one and actually had to hide in my bathroom for a little while. Like I said, chicken shit is the name of the game these days for me.
He comes over straight from work, lets Dragon out and plays with him for a bit before cooking dinner. He’s tried to teach me a few times, but he seemed to give up after I asked him why he couldn’t just microwave the steak to make it cook faster. The look of horror on his face would’ve been funny if he hadn’t actually pushed me out of my own kitchen and told me to never return. Dee is right about one thing, he is definitely over dramatic.
Speak of the devil and she appears, I muse to myself as she walks towards my chair and takes a seat. “Well sugar, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”
“Hi Dee.” I smile happily. No matter what kind of trouble she gets into or whatever mischief she causes, she’s still a ton of fun to be around. And she’s most certainly one of my most favorite people in the whole world.
She spins the chair and looks at herself in the mirror. She runs her hands through her hair. “We need to do something with this mop.”
I fluff out a cape and fasten it around her neck. “What do you have in mind?” Because Lord knows her brain is never empty.
Her next sentence confirms it. “I think I want something sexy and spicy.”
I can’t help my smirk. “Sexy and spicy huh?” She nods her head. “This sudden change wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain leather wearing biker, now would it?” I tease because I just can’t help myself.
“Well I have myself a sexy man. I should be equally as sexy, don’t you think Jessie?” Someone’s full of piss and vinegar today.
“Absolutely.” I agree. “Anything specific in mind?”
Her eyes catch mine in the mirror. “How about something shorter. Something to make me look a little edgy.”
I snort without meaning to and get a glare. I hold my hands up. “Face it Dee, you could be wearing a bonnet and would still be edgy, it’s just who you are.”
“Well sugar, I need you to work that Jessie magic on me today. I want to look good and feel confident this Thanksgiving.” She says but something in her voice is off.
“Why wouldn’t you be confident? Everyone loves your cooking.” For real, my mouth is watering just thinking about her corn bread. She’s brought some in for me a few times and I’m not too proud to say that I hid that shit so that no one else could get their grubby hands on it.
“Yes well, I still haven’t told Noah about Mac. And apparently, all of my other children have seemed to mind their own business for once in their lives. No one has let it slip to him yet.”
“Okay?” I don’t really see the big deal here.
“And Mac is spending Thanksgiving with us.”
We stare at each other for a few moments in the mirror. “Maybe he won’t realize?” I shrug, I mean it’s worth a shot.
“He’s a man honey, not brain dead.” She drawls. “Even Noah isn’t that thick.”
I snap my fingers. “Oh, you know how each year you can adopt a family during the holidays?”
“Yes.” She gives me a dubious look.
“Easy, this year it’s adopt a biker.”
“Sugar, have you been breathing in too many chemical fumes?”
I roll my eyes. “It’s not that bad of an idea.”
“It’s not good.”
I twirl her chair around to face me and cross my arms. “It’s better than just having both of them show up and blurting it out before telling everyone to dig in.”
“Actually…” The look on her face is calculating.
“Oh no! You cannot ruin the entire meal. Ben has been looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner for weeks. Him and Mason even have some dumb plan to fast the day before or something so that they can fit more into their stomachs. Come up with another idea.”
“Hmm, and how is it that you know this?”
“Because he’s like a younger you. He made himself a bunch of damn keys to my place so that I can’t kick him out.”
She raises an eyebrow at me. “Yes, because it’s awful having someone to cook you dinner. I’m sure that you’ve tried hard to kick him out.”
I purse my lips. “I considered it when he kicked me out of my own kitchen.” I mumble.
“Sugar, he told me about that. You do not belong even looking into a kitchen after that comment.” She chides. “Honestly girl, putting steak in the microwave.”
“You and your son are both a pain in my ass.” I grumble.
“A mother does not need to know about her son’s sex life dear.”
I give her an exasperated look. “There is something seriously wrong with you.”
She snorts non too delicately. “This coming from the woman talking about adopting a biker.” She scoffs.
“It’s a solid idea.” I defend before turning her back around and getting to work.
About an hour later and Dee looks fabulous with her new haircut. The woman can really pull off a short bob. Mac isn’t going to know what hit him looking at her.
“Sugar, this looks absolutely perfect! You really are a magician when it comes to hair.” She gushes making me blush. Compliments just aren’t my thing, seeing as how I never got any growing up. And… shutting those thoughts down.
I give her a genuine smile. “I’m glad that you like it.”
“Like it? I love it.” She turns this way and that in the mirror. “I think that I can even pull off being in my early fifties right now.”
“Definitely.” I agree with a giggle.
She wraps her arms around me in a tight hug and kisses my cheek. Kellie is right, there is something magical about one of Dee’s hugs. The world just seems like a less sucky place.
She steps back and gives me a stern look. “Make sure that you both are at my house no later than three o’clock on Thursday, ya hear me? Dinner starts promptly at four.”
I can tell that I look like a deer in headlights. “Oh, you want me to go too?”
She blinks at me a few times before her hand goes to her hip and her eyes do that squinty dagger thing that she’s so good at. “Where were you expecting to be while Ben was at my house?”
I flush bright red and give a little shrug. “At home, like usual?” I pose it as a question even though it’s not. Nope, just the sad facts.
“No, you’ll be spending it at my house with Benjamin. Hells bells, you would’ve been spending all of them at my house if I’d had known that you just stayed home by yourself.”
“It’s not a big deal. I’m used to it.” I try to sound the least pathetic as possible.
Her cheek twitches. “Yes, well from now on, you’ll be at my house, for every holiday.” She gives me a pointed glare.
“Okay.” Is all that I say for fear of pissing her off more than she seems to be. Geez, I didn’t think that it was that big of a deal.
; “Right, well, make sure you tell Benjamin not to bring that whiskey again this year. I will not be having all of them acting like fools and having a food fight with dessert.”
“That actually happened?”
“Yes, never let those boys near hard liquor when they’re together. They act like they share one brain cell that they just let die.” She huffs. “Remember, no later than three.” She yells over her shoulder as she walks to the front to pay.
Is it weird that I now want to stock up on Johnny Walker Black?
Chapter 10
Ben
“You’re really starting to creep me out,” Jessie says from her seat at the kitchen table.
I turn and look over my shoulder, to see her eyeing me like gum that’s stuck on the bottom of your shoe. I continue to flip the bacon while simultaneously frowning at the grumpy woman with vibrant red hair. She decided to go from cotton candy to Jessica Rabbit yesterday and I’m not sure how to take it. On one hand she looks sexy as hell, on the other, I’ve heard a woman say that if a woman dyes her hair red it means she’s depressed or about to go psycho or something. I don’t really remember, but I’m wondering if I should be scared.
“About what?” I ask genuinely confused.
Things have been going great between us, finally, well besides the little pregnancy elephant in the room. An elephant that I’ll admit that I’m even too scared to bring up. We’ve been using the whole, if we ignore it, it’s not real kind of thing. I know as a grown man, a simple stick shouldn’t frighten me as much as it does, but dammit, I still don’t know what result I’m actually hoping for.
She picks up her coffee cup and holds it just in front of her lips. “You’re so cheerful and have been humming since you woke up this morning. It’s just not right.” She grumbles before taking a sip of the liquid that’s helping her pretend to be human right now.
One thing I’ve learnt about the gorgeous pain in the ass, she doesn’t do well in the mornings, especially without coffee. She’s actually pulled off a pretty good impersonation of a dog or a wolf when I’ve tried talking to her as soon as we woke up. Truthfully, I didn’t think that it was possible for a human’s voice to get so low to growl like that.
