by Jeff Kinney
had superior weapons so attacking them
wasn't a good idea. They said they should
build a giant force field around the city
to keep the aliens OUT.
198
And then everyone started arguing and
the meeting got a little ugly.
The mayor had to step in to calm
everyone down. Then she gave a speech.
She reminded everyone about how the
people of Fairview wanted to keep the
zombies out of the city, and how great
everything was now that people and
zombies were living together in peace.
199
She said the city of Fairview was big
enough for EVERYONE and that the
smart thing to do was to let the aliens IN.
People got really choked up over the
mayor's speech and they got behind her
plan. And the next day the city rolled out
the red carpet for the aliens.
200
Well there are two kinds of aliens,
the good kind and the bad kind. And
unfortunately for the citizens of
Fairview these aliens were the BAD kind.
The aliens were used to people putting
up more of a fight but they were fine
with doing this the easy way for once.
201
After a while things started to go back
to normal in the city of Fairview. And life
was pretty much the way it was before,
only now with aliens.
And even though the aliens wiped out all
the humans and the zombies, they kept the
drive-through restaurants. Because they
were crazy for those tofu brains.
203
OK so maybe a few of the stories in this
book are just make-believe but I promise
this next one is 100 percent TRUE. And I
know because it happened to ME.
Well technically it happened to me AND my
best friend Greg Heffley. But there are
probably some parts he can't remember
so you'll have to trust me that I'm telling
you the TRUTH.
This happened over the summer when
Greg came to my house for a sleepover.
And it was a pretty big deal because it
was our first one since we got in trouble
for sneaking out the last time.
204
My dad made us both promise we would
be in bed by 10:00 p.m. And that was fine
with me since I start getting sleepy at
9:30 anyway.
At 7:00 my mom came down to the
basement with a big tub of arts and
crafts supplies so we'd have something
to do. And I was excited because I could
see there were two new bottles of
glitter glue in the tub.
But when my mom left, Greg said arts
and crafts were for babies and we
needed to do something that was actually
FUN. Which kind of stunk because I didn't
even get to use the glitter glue.
205
Then Greg pulled something out of his
bag. It looked like a scary movie and
Greg said he took it from his brother
Rodrick's room.
I said it looked a little TOO scary for me
and maybe we should watch the one that
my mom and dad just got me.
206
But Greg said this was a sleepover not
school and he put his movie in the player.
Well I really wished we had stuck with the
arts and crafts because Greg's movie
was totally TERRIFYING. It was about
these teenagers who find a book with
ancient writing and scary pictures inside.
207
And when one of the teenagers reads
the writing out loud the book releases a
DEMON.
Then the demon gets INSIDE one of the
teenagers and gives him evil powers.
208
And don't even ask me how the movie
ended because I made Greg shut it off
halfway through.
I thought Greg was gonna say I was
a chicken for bailing out but he said
the movie was terrible and the special
effects looked totally FAKE. Plus he
said the story didn't make any sense
because the teenager who got possessed
wouldn't have known how to read the
words in an ancient book.
Well the special effects looked pretty
real to ME, but I guess Greg had a point
about the ancient language thing.
I asked him if a person could get
possessed by a demon in real life and
Greg said that was fake too.
209
Then he said he'd PROVE it to me and
he started saying the words those
teenagers read out loud.
At first nothing happened and I thought
Greg was probably right about the movie
being fake. But then Greg's body started
to twitch and when he opened his eyes
he seemed TOTALLY different.
210
So now my best friend was possessed
by a DEMON. And I knew if my parents
found out they'd never let us have
another sleepover again.
I was hoping the demon would snap out
of it and go back to being Greg but he
didn't. And he made a mess of the shelves
that me and my mom had spent the
whole afternoon organizing.
211
Then the demon noticed the arts-and-
crafts bin and before I could stop him
he went totally CRAZY with the glitter
glue.
After the demon was done wrecking
the basement he headed upstairs. And
he must've had supernatural strength
or something because I couldn't slow him
down.
212
And if you thought the demon made a
mess of the basement then you should've
seen what he did to the KITCHEN.
I was nervous my parents were gonna
wake up because the demon was making a
huge racket and their bedroom was right
above the kitchen. So I needed to figure
out how to fix this situation QUICK.
Now I really wished we'd watched that
movie all the way to the end to see how
those teenagers got rid of the demon.
213
But I couldn't go back downstairs to
finish the movie because I didn't want
to leave the demon by himself. Luckily
Mom's laptop was on the kitchen counter
so I did a quick search. But I couldn't find
any straight answers and it seemed like
you might need a professional anyway.
One of the websites said you could get
rid of a demon with holy water but it was
almost 10:00 at night and I was pretty
sure the church was closed at that hour.
214
After the demon finished emptying
out the kitchen cabinets he started to
come after ME. And it's hard to stay
quiet when you're being chased around
a kitchen island by an evil spirit who's
chucking eggs at you.
Luckily the demon slipped on some baking
soda on the floor and that gave me a
chan
ce to ESCAPE. So I ran into the
bathroom and locked the door.
215
I didn't want the demon to know I was
in there so I turned off the lights and
stayed as quiet as I could. But demons
must have supernatural smelling or
something because it didn't take him long
to figure out where I was.
I was afraid he was gonna use his fire
breath to burn down the door. But it
got quiet for a while and that made me
EXTRA nervous.
Then I heard a weird rattling noise coming
from the doorknob.
216
Somehow the demon had figured out how
to pick the LOCK with a paper clip.
The next thing I knew the demon was
turning the doorknob. The only thing I
had to defend myself with was a toilet
brush, so I dipped it in the toilet bowl and
sprayed the demon with water.
217
It turns out you don't need to use
actual holy water to get rid of a demon.
Because a few seconds later Greg was
back to his regular self.
The bad news is that all the noise woke up
my parents and they sent Greg home. But
that was OK with me because the truth is
I start to get sleepy at 9:30 anyway.
OK so maybe I shouldn't have written
those scary stories because now I'M a
little spooked. And it probably wasn't
such a smart idea to write down that
demon spell in here because that could
cause all sorts of problems.
But I'm gonna show this book to Greg
anyway because I have a feeling he'll
really like it.
