by Jenn Vakey
The challenging note in the last part of that was one I hadn’t intended. I actually found myself regretting it when I saw the way he responded. After watching me for a moment more, he reached down for the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head. It had just hit the boulder my clothes were on when I saw him kicking his shoes off, his socks close behind.
“What are you doing?” I asked wide-eyed, my heart starting to pound as I considered what exactly was happening.
“Taking advantage of one of the last decent days for swimming before it gets too cold,” he answered firmly, if not a bit playfully.
I had seen him take his shirt off before, that first day in Alkwin, but there was something so very different about this. I stood there transfixed until I saw his hands move down and start working the button on his pants. It was like the spell had been broken that was holding me, and I quickly turned my back to him.
Heat now surging through my body, I felt so exposed standing here. Part of me wanted to leave, knowing that swimming with a boy in my underwear was against everything I had been raised to believe. There was also the fact that I was determined to leave in two days, and I might never come back. As much as I hated not knowing what was going on with him, this past week had actually been easier because he was gone. On the other hand, everything inside of my body was telling me to stay. Begging me to stay.
The splash that echoed through the air made my decision for me. It was too late now. He was already in the water. With me. It would just be rude to get out now. It would make things awkward between us. Or that was what I was going to tell myself.
Glancing back over my shoulder, I saw him emerge about ten feet away. He slid his hands over his face, wiping the water off before pushing back his hair. It was darker when it was wet, appearing more brown than the wheat colored blonde it usually was. His eyes, though. The green in them actually seemed to shine as the light reflecting off of the surface of the water met them.
Stunning.
“It’s a little cooler than I like it, but it’s not bad,” he said, moving a few inches closer to me. I made myself turn back to face him, but I was careful to stay under the surface of the water. Not that it really did much good. The river was clean, clear. “Wait until you feel it during the summer.”
I felt a pang of regret, knowing that I, in all likelihood, wouldn’t be here during the summer. Not wanting to spoil what could be the last time I really got to spend time with him, though, I quickly pushed that aside. I had wanted a good memory to take back to Eden with me. I couldn’t think of a better one to have.
“The last time you caught me outside of camp you interrogated me,” I pointed out.
Rhydian shrugged, bobbing slightly in the water. Had he moved closer again, or was it just a trick the water was playing? “You caught me on a bad week,” he said casually. “Something happened in Eden, then you showed up. See, most of the people in camp got out clean. No one knows they’re alive. Those of us who didn’t have targets on us. I couldn’t trust that you weren’t sent here to try to get to me. A beautiful girl who was injured and without a sponsor would be one way of going about it.”
Guilt surged through me again, knowing that was exactly the truth of it. He had been right, and I had tricked him into thinking otherwise.
Wait, did he just call me beautiful?
And there were those eyes again, watching me for a reaction. I swallowed hard, trying to keep myself from blushing. There was nothing that could stop my breathing from speeding, though. Or the fact that I felt even more exposed than before. Especially since I was sure now that he was a couple feet closer than he had been. And I was still very much half naked. So was he.
Okay, I had to change the subject.
“So, what has you in such a good mood today?”
“No,” he answered swiftly, though it came out with an easy smile.
“No?” I asked with a shocked laugh.
He shook his head. “I can’t tell you, and I don’t want to lie to you.”
Damn that guilt. I really didn’t want to lie to him either. And why did he have to keep saying nice things that made me want to be around him more instead of plotting to leave.
Not knowing how I could possibly respond without giving myself away, I did the only thing I could think of. I pushed my hand forward and splashed water in his face.
His eyes opened wide, a shocked laugh coming out as he splashed me back. I tried it again, but he caught my wrist this time. When did he get close enough to do that?
My insides twisted as he tightened his hold on it, pulling just enough to move me closer to him. I wanted to ask him what he was doing, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t even find it within myself to attempt to stop him.
Rhydian still maintained his hold as he reached up with the other hand and moved the wet hair from my face, his fingers brushing over my cheek before tucking it gently behind my ear. He was almost timid in his movements, like he was worried that I was going to go reeling back.
I didn’t. I didn’t even want to. All I could do in that moment was look at him. His eyes as they worked their way around my face. His lips as they parted just slightly to let out a breath. Then, when I didn’t show any resistance, he pulled me even closer, although not by my wrist this time. It was the other hand, which had slid to the back of my neck somehow without me noticing. He pulled me up to him, lifting me out of the shelter of the water. And I didn’t even care. Especially not when I felt the pressure of his lips against mine.
A kiss. My first kiss.
Heat rolled through my body like waves.
I had no idea what I was doing. My body completely took over, waking up when I felt him pull my bottom lip between his, sucking on it just enough that I found myself pulling in a breath.
I shuddered.
When my lips parted, he took it as permission to gain entrance, his tongue sliding in and brushing against mine.
Everything inside of me exploded after that. My skin felt like it was on fire, my lips tingling and begging for more. My arms moved up over his shoulders, bringing me even closer to him. Whimpering at just how amazing this new sensation felt.
The hand that had grabbed my wrist before moved to the small of my back, holding my body against his. And that only magnified everything I was already feeling. His bare skin pressed against mine, the warmth of it reaching inside of me. When I used my hold to lift myself up even higher, both of his hands moved down to my bare thighs, pulling the up until my legs were wrapped around his waist. His careful restraint slipped away. The kiss deepened, making me want to know what other ways he could make me feel alive like this.
In that moment, nothing else mattered. Not Adler, not Eden. My departure and what the days to come would bring slipped to the back of my mind. All I could think about was him.
Rhydian was the one to pull away first, which probably surprised us both. He moved one arm around my back to support me, while the fingers of his other stayed tangled in my hair. The way he looked at me wasn’t like anyway I had ever been looked at before. His eyes had a glaze to them, his lips parted and red. There was a look of shock as he stood there, pulling in heavy breaths.
But not regret.
“We should get back,” he said, the words coming out almost numb on his tongue. “It’s almost lunch time.”
I nodded, completely unable to even remember how words were made. Then I let him lower me back down, his hand not leaving my back as we walked back toward the shore. I was in such a state of both shock and bliss that I didn’t even attempt to cover myself as we walked out and moved toward where the clothes were on the boulder. I don’t even think I managed a blush when I caught his eyes moving over me before he turned so I could dress.
What just happened? I know things had been different right before he left, but how did they go from that to this? From him disappearing completely, not even attempting to see me, to him crossing that unspoken barrier and kissing me?
And why couldn’t I stop smiling?
Something deep inside of me told me that I had just made a big mistake. I couldn’t expect to be able to get out of Alkwin if things were changing between us like this. He already followed me out when I left the dorm at night before. I had seen the worry he had when it came to me getting hurt or being in dangerous situations. If he knew what I was planning, he would never let me go through with it. Nothing short of telling him the truth would keep him from trying to stop me. With this, and the fact that I wasn’t actually doing what Adler wanted, even that might not be enough. Not if he knew that my sister was still alive. Still in Eden.
But that little voice of reason still didn’t seem to be enough to keep me from wanting to grab him as we walked in silence back to camp. To wrap my arms around him and get him to make me feel all of that again. To get lost so completely in him.
I had no idea what I was doing.
Neither of us talked as we walked back into camp and into the dorm. We just walked side by side, our hands grazing against each other until we parted ways at our bedroom doors.
Closing mine behind me, I leaned back against it and pulled in a deep, satisfied breath. It was all I seemed to really be able to do. Then my fingers moved up to my lips, brushing against and relishing the way they were still tingling.
That was… amazing. I had heard people talk over the years–mainly newlyweds–about people being bad kissers. I could say with complete confidence that Rhydian wasn’t one of them. And I hated myself for wanting to do it again.
When I couldn’t stand there any longer, I grabbed clothes and walked down the hall to the bathroom, taking a quick shower to rinse off the river water. I finished and dressed with only minutes left before lunch was to be served.
To my surprise, Rhydian actually sat down with us at lunch. Before today I might have been curious about his decision to sit next to Joury, who was directly across from me, but those questions weren’t even registering. In fact, most thoughts weren’t. Unless I really tried, it was very difficult to actually concentrate on the conversations being held.
My head was still spinning, confusion rocketing through me as I tried to figure out what I was supposed to do. But every time I saw his gaze shift toward me, those other feelings started to take over. The ones that caused my insides to jump whenever I saw him. The ones that really wanted to kiss him again.
“So, Leeya, what did you do with your morning off?” Joury asked.
My attention snapped to her, though I had to blink for several seconds to actually absorb what she had asked. Once I had, it took every ounce of determination I had not to smile. “I went for a swim,” I said, hoping it sounded casual. Rhydian’s gaze flicked toward me, a secretive smile raging in his eyes. Seeing it made my heart pound so violently that I feared someone might be able to hear it. Was there an ability that gave someone enhanced hearing? That would be bad.
Thankfully, it wasn’t something anyone at the table seemed to possess. Zaydan jumped in and started telling some story about the river. The moment I was certain he wasn’t about to say he had been out there today and had seen us I let my thoughts drift again.
“I’m free this afternoon,” Joury said when he was finished, turning her attention to Rhydian. Her voice had softened, her fingers spinning in her hair. I watched her curiously, trying to understand what she was doing. Definitely trying to get his attention. Like the touching. Maybe that was her way of expressing her interest in him. He didn’t seem to notice, or even to need it. I never did anything like that. Oh, I really didn’t understand how things worked. “If you’re not going to be tied up with things, do you want to get some training in? You must be going stir crazy by now.”
“I’ve already got my time booked for today,” he said, shifting his fork around on his plate. “I think I’ve got some openings in a couple days. Just check my schedule.”
He was friendly with her, but he hardly even faced her when they talked. It was so matter of fact, none of those hidden emotions shining in his eyes like I had been seeing. He didn’t look at her the way he looked at me. Watching Joury sink back slightly in her seat, I wondered if he even knew what I had picked up on. If he did, he was just ignoring it.
The conversation went back to the others after that, which I was grateful for. It meant that I didn’t really have to pay attention. My focus was able to stay on trying not to flush when I saw Rhydian glance over at me. Anything to keep the others from knowing what had just happened between us.
Everyone cleared out after lunch to head to their lessons or responsibilities. I wasn’t in any hurry, because I still had the rest of the day off. I didn’t make it far when I stepped out of the dining hall, though, before I felt a hand grip my elbow.
“Ready for training?” Rhydian asked, steering me toward the field.
I looked up at him curiously, but let him take the lead. “I thought you had your times taken today.”
He raised an eyebrow and shot me a sideways look. “I do. I’ve got to see what Aarys has been teaching you.”
My heart started to skip when I realized what he was saying. That I was the one he had been planning on spending his training time with. I looked down at my clothes as we walked. My jeans were a little tighter than I usually wore when training, but not to the point that they would be restrictive. My maroon tank top fit tightly, but it would do. Besides, I should probably learn to fight in a variety of clothes. I couldn’t always guarantee I’d have the most comfortable attire on if the need came to defend myself.
Rhydian didn’t release his hold on my arm until we reached the training field. There was something so different about him is we stood facing each other and stretched. His eyes were on me instead of looking around, watching me like we had a big secret between us.
“Show me what you’ve got,” he said, grabbing a pair of bastons and handing them to me.
I took my place in front of him, twisting my wrists to spin the bastons at my sides the way Aarys had taught me. The move made him smirk, which only made my insides burn more.
Rhydian swung first, something I had no problem blocking. Over the past week, my moves had become a little faster and smoother. Still far from perfect, but I was getting better.
It felt almost like a dance moving with him. There was something about it that felt so different than when I was working with Aarys. An excitement to it. One I could see he could feel too. It was in his eyes when he looked at me. More than just enjoyment. There was desire there, hunger. Something that only build as we moved faster, strikes hitting harder.
I spun around and caught Rhydian’s leg when he wasn’t expecting it. Using his loss of footing, I slammed my shoulder into him, tackling him down to the ground. Rhydian landed with a grunt just moments before I positioned myself on top of him, pinning his hands down like he had done to me the last time we fought. I smiled at him as he growled, but I didn’t maintain my seat for long. Using the same move he had before, he flipped us over so that he was on top. Once again pressed down against me where he lay between my legs. That fire in his eyes raging now, his heavy breaths brushing against my face.
“Concede?” he asked. Licking his lips, his eyes shifted down toward mine.
All I could do was smile. I knew he had bested me, but it didn’t feel like I had lost at all. Seconds passed where I didn’t answer. Nothing more than the involuntary gasp I let out when he shifted his body against mine to maintain his hold as I struggled, and I felt just what sparring with me was doing to him.
The sound I gave made his gaze jump to mine, his green eyes dark in a way that almost took my breath away. He was so close to me, his face no more than inches from mine. And, man, I really wanted him to kiss me again. To close that small gap and press his damp lips to mine. Feel the force of his tongue against mine, a completely different kind of fight. A fight for control.
But he didn’t.
The sound of people in the distance popped the bubble that had surrounded us. Brought us back to the present, and the fact that at any time, someon
e was bound to walk out and see us.
Giving me a little chuckle, Rhydian pushed up and lifted me to my feet. I had to take a step back to get control of myself. I never liked feeling like I didn’t have it, but that’s exactly how he made me feel. I wanted to hate it, to try to distance myself from it, but I couldn't.
We were done training after that. Like me, I had a feeling he knew that we were playing with fire. That the more we went at each other, the closer we were being pushed to the point that we wouldn’t be able to maintain control. I was glad that he was trying. I needed that from him. Two more days. All I needed was two more days before I could put my plan into action. Before I could go get my sister.
The one thing that I was able to get from this new development was a determination to win. To not only get her back, but to make it out of Eden alive. I wanted to come back to him and explore these feelings more. I just had to hope that was even an option.
“You don’t have anything going on in the morning, right, Leeya?” Aarys asked during dinner.
I looked up from my plate and shook my head. I had another morning free, which I had been planning to use to finalize the details of my plan. There were still a few things I needed to work out, like how I was going to get back inside the wall. That wasn’t one I could really ask anyone, though. Not without raising suspicions.
“I’m going out to meet a new arrival at the archway,” she said. “Do you want to come with me?”
My first instinct was to say no, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Mostly because I didn’t actually know how to get to the archway. I had been unconscious when Rhydian carried me in. I hadn’t wanted to risk going out looking for it since then, because then I could be faced with questions I didn’t want to answer. Ones I couldn’t answer. Going with her would mean not having to search around for it blindly in the middle of the night.
“Sure,” I responded. “Sounds fun.”
She smirked widely. “Awesome. Be ready by five. We like to get there right as the sun comes up.”
