as long as we breathe.’
‘It doesn’t have to be like that.’ Miller is quiet in his retort, almost uncertain of his own claim. It makes my stomach turn.
‘Wake up, son!’ Tony casts his empty glass aside and grabs the tops of Miller’s arms, making him wince, not that Tony acknowledges it. ‘We’ve been over this time and time again. Once you’re in this world, there’s no escaping. You don’t get to leave when it suits you. You’re in it for life or you don’t have a life at all!’
I cough on nothing as I absorb Tony’s frank clarification. Sophia said it, Miller confirmed it, and now Tony’s reinforcing it. ‘Just because he doesn’t want to fuck for money anymore?’ I pipe up, unable to hold back.
Miller looks across at me and I expect to be ordered to keep quiet, but I’m stunned to find he looks to Tony, like he wants an answer to my question, too.
Getting involved with Miller Hart will be his demise.
It’s not as easy as just quitting.
The consequences will be shattering.
Chains. Keys. Life debt.
I’m about to force my body to stand, an attempt to appear stable and strong, when the door opens again and Sophia breezes in. The intense, difficult atmosphere multiplies by a million. I sit back in my seat while she casts her eyes around, giving everyone in the room a moment of her beady eyes’ time as she draws on her cigarette. I’m even more wary when Cassie appears, too, her perfection reinstated, but she’s looking worried and cautious.
Sophia saunters over to the drinks cabinet and pushes her way between Miller and Tony, and neither man objects. They step back and give her the room she’s demanding to pour herself a drink. She takes her time, her posture and actions screaming supremacy, then turns to face Miller. ‘Quite a violent reaction for someone who’s supposedly only fucking her.’ Sophia’s European accent makes the threat in her tone almost sexy.
My eyes close briefly, guilt digging their hateful claws into me again. I’m so fucking stupid. One eye peeks carefully, finding Miller looking down at her, his expression blank, his body deathly still. His time hiding me is up. His time to think of the best way to deal with this is up.
Because of my rash actions.
‘I only ever make love to that woman.’ He looks at me, nearly crippling me with the love in his eyes. I want to run into his arms, stand by his side and face her together, but my useless muscles are failing me again. When Miller returns his eyes to Sophia, the coldness of his blank expression returns instantly. ‘I only ever worship her.’
The shock on her face is obvious. She’s trying to conceal it, taking a sip of her drink and then a puff on her cigarette to assist, but I can see it crystal clear from all of the way over here.
‘Do you let her touch you?’ she asks.
‘Yes.’
Her breathing increases, a little anger now surfacing through the shock. ‘Do you let her kiss you?’
‘Yes.’ His jaw ticks, his lip curling into a snarl. ‘She can do whatever the hell she wants with me. And I’ll accept it all willingly.’ He leans into her. ‘I’ll even fucking beg for it.’
My heart explodes into a million shards of badly timed contentment, making my already unstable mind dizzier. Sophia is rendered speechless, taking quick, frantic sips of her drink and pulling on her cigarette in between. Her powerful composure has been obliterated by Miller’s confession. She suspected this, so it shouldn’t be a shock. Or did she underestimate the situation? Think it was something in nothing?
How very wrong she was.
Remaining a quiet spectator to the events unfolding, I cast my eyes over to Tony and see raw dread on his face. Then I look to Cassie and see shock that equals Sophia’s.
‘I can’t protect you from him, Miller,’ Sophia says calmly, though the edge of irritation is still so very apparent. She’s warning him.
‘I never for a moment expected you to, but know one thing. I’m no longer at your beck and call. We’re leaving,’ Miller declares, moving away from Sophia. He’s coming at me fast and determined, but I haven’t a hope of making it to my feet. I’m a shaking mess. His hand extends towards me and my eyes flick up to his, seeing hard reassurance in his blues. ‘Do you think there will be sparks?’ he whispers, his mouth seeming to move in slow motion, his eyes sparkling and raining strength and hope all over me. I accept his offering, keeping our stares locked while he pulls me to my feet. Reaching to my hair, he pushes a few strands behind my ears gently, then scans my face. He’s in no rush. There’s no urgency to remove us from the horrific situation. He’s simply content with making me melt before him under the penetrating effect of his eyes. He kisses me. Softy. Slowly. Meaningfully. It’s a sign, a declaration. And I can do no more than accept. ‘Let’s go home, sweet girl.’ My nape is claimed and I’m guided to his office door, the anxiety beginning to drain from me with the knowledge that we’ll soon be gone from here – away from this cruel world. For tonight, we can shut the door. And I hope tomorrow never comes so we don’t have to open it.
‘You’ll regret this, Miller.’ Sophia’s even tone halts Miller in his tracks, subsequently halting mine, too.
‘My life up to this point has been one big regret,’ Miller states clearly, his voice even. ‘Livy is the only good thing that’s happened to me, and I have no fucking intention of letting go of her.’ He slowly turns, taking me with him. Sophia has restored her air of superiority, Tony still looks pensive, and when I look at Cassie, I see tears in her eyes as she watches Miller. I study her for a few moments, and she must feel my stare burning into her because she flicks a glance at me.
She smiles.
It’s not a smug smile, hardly even there, in fact. It appears to be a sad smile of recognition, but after a few seconds, I realise it’s a comforting smile. Then she nods very slightly and substantiates my thoughts. She comprehends it all.
Sophia laughs wickedly, snapping both mine and Cassie’s attention back to her couture-decorated frame. ‘I could stop all of this in a heartbeat, Miller. You know that. I’ll tell him she’s gone. She’s nothing to you.’
I’m insulted, but Miller remains calm. ‘No thank you.’
‘It’s a phase.’
‘It’s not a phase,’ Miller counters coldly.
‘Yes, it is,’ Sophia retorts confidently, waving a condemning hand at me. Her reproachful eyes stab at me harshly, making me shrink a little. ‘You know only one thing, Miller Hart. You know how to make women scream with pleasure, but you don’t know what it means to really care.’ She smirks. ‘You’re the Special One. You. Only. Know. How. To. Fuck.’
I wince, resisting my overwhelming temptation to put her straight, but I’ve done enough damage already. The reason Sophia is standing here, oozing self-righteousness, is because of me. The reason Miller is bleeding next to me is because of me.
I can feel Miller building up into maniac mode. ‘You have no idea what I’m capable of. I worship Olivia.’ His voice quivers under the anger fizzing beneath his cool exterior.
Her face screws up in disgust and she steps forward. ‘You’re a fool, Miller Hart. He’ll never let you walk away.’
He explodes.
‘I love her!’ he roars, knocking every person back in the room. ‘I fucking love her!’ Tears burst from my eyes and I fall into his side. He immediately grabs me and pulls me close. ‘I love her. I love everything she stands for and I love how much she loves me. It’s more than you love me. It’s more than any of you claim to love me! It’s pure and light. It’s made me feel. It’s made me want more. If any fucker tries to take her away from me, I’ll fucking kill them.’ Pulling up for a second, he gathers a long breath. ‘Slowly,’ he adds, shaking beside me, clinging to me tightly, like he’s afraid someone will try right now. ‘I don’t care what he says. I don’t care what he thinks he can do to me. It’ll be him sleeping with one eye open, Sophia, not me. So tell him. Fucking run to him and confirm what he already knows. I don’t want to fuck for a living anymore. Tell him I don
’t want to line his pockets anymore. You’re not holding me to ransom. Miller Hart is out of the game. The Special One has quit!’ He withdraws and takes a few moments to suck in another calming gulp of air, while everyone looks at him, shocked. Including me. ‘I love her. Go to him. Tell him I love her. Tell him I’m Olivia’s now. And tell him if he even thinks about touching a hair on her precious head, it’ll be the last thing he ever does.’
We’re on our way out before I can gauge what we’re leaving behind, although I can imagine perfectly well. I can’t even process his violent declaration. His arm is draped around my shoulder, and it feels warm and comforting, but it goes nowhere near the sense of belonging that I feel when he has his signature hold of me. I wriggle free of him, making him look down at me, totally perplexed as we keep up our pace, and move his hand to the back on my neck. Then I coil my arm around his tight waist. He breathes a sigh of acknowledgement, returns his focus forward, and marches on.
The music is back, pumping through the speakers at every turn, but the elite clientele are far from back to normal. Crowds of people are gathered everywhere, huddled close, obviously discussing the earlier scene involving the club owner. It makes me think of something. ‘Do all of these people know who you are?’ I ask, feeling eyes begin to bore into us from every direction of the club as we emerge from the stairs.
He doesn’t look at me. ‘Some,’ is his straight, one-word answer, telling me he knows what I’m talking about, and it isn’t the fact that he owns this establishment.
The evening air collides with my body, sending instant shivers bolting through me. I snuggle farther into Miller’s side and catch the eye of one of the doormen. His mean face straightens as he watches Miller escort me from the premises and across the road where Miller’s Mercedes is parked. As I’m guided to the passenger door, I glance across to the front of the club, seeing the guy who Miller has just beaten to within an inch of his life being bundled into a taxi by another bouncer. I’m suddenly very worried. ‘He needs treatment,’ I say. ‘The doctors will ask questions.’
The door is opened and I’m gently pushed to the seat. ‘Those types of people don’t want the police involved in their affairs, Olivia.’ He pulls my seat belt across and buckles me up. ‘You’ve no need to worry.’ He plants a light kiss on my head and pushes the door shut, then pulls his phone from his pocket and makes a brief call as he rounds the car.
Those types of people.
This world.
It’s very real.
And I’m in the centre of it.
Chapter 12
The alcohol and exhaustion have caught up with me. My head is woozy and my legs are like jelly. As we’re walking through the lobby of his building, Miller scoops me into his arms and marches on. ‘Where you should be,’ he whispers, pushing his lips to my temple.
My arms twine around his neck and my head rests on his shoulder, my eyes closing, finally relenting to my tiredness. My weak request to be taken to Nan’s was refused. I didn’t argue. He needs calm, and I know his flat, with me inside of it, will bring him closer to achieving that.
Until we open the door again tomorrow morning.
The black shiny door welcomes us and is soon opened and kicked softly closed, locking the world outside. My eyes remain shut as I’m carried onward, the familiar clean smell of my surroundings settling me further. It’s not the fond scent of Nan’s house, but I’m happy to be here with Miller.
‘Can you stand for me?’ he asks, turning his face into mine. I nod and ease up on my grip, letting him gently place me on my feet. The concentration of his face holds me rapt as he undresses me slowly and carefully. All of the usual habits are here with us – the clothes being folded before he puts them in the laundry basket, his soft lips parted just so, his eyes swimming with emotion. Once he’s seen through his task, he looks to me in silent demand, so I step forward and begin to slowly strip him down, even folding his blood-stained suit before placing it in the basket, despite it being more at home in the bin. Seeing past the puncture wound and blood to allow my eyes to indulge in his perfection is impossible. His hands are covered in red stains, his chest, his jaw. I’m uncertain as to which blood belongs to Miller and which to the guy who appeared so unexpectedly from my sordid past. His timing couldn’t have been worse, though I doubt Miller’s reaction would have been any less violent had he materialised on any other occasion.
I reach up and gently prod around the site of the wound with my fingertip, trying to gauge whether it needs professional attention.
‘It doesn’t hurt,’ he says quietly, taking my hand away and placing it over his heart. ‘This is my only concern.’
Smiling a little, I step into his chest and lift myself to his body, wrapping my limbs around him, absorbing him. ‘I know.’ I murmur into his neck, savouring the feel of his overgrown waves tickling my nose and his harsh stubble on my cheek.
Strong hands slide onto my bum and his lean legs stride towards the shower. My back is pushed up to the tiles the moment we enter and he pulls back, denying my face the warmth of his neck. ‘I just want to clean us,’ he says, a slight frown on his face.
‘Elaborate.’ I’m delighted when I see his lip tip at one corner, his eyes developing a shimmer of playfulness.
‘As you wish.’ He reaches over and flicks the shower on, and the instant warm water rains down on us. His hair flattens on his head and the blood on his chest starts to pour away.
‘I do.’
He nods a little and reaches behind him to push my thighs from his waist before doing the same with my arms. I’m on my feet, my back resting against the wall, watching Miller closely. His palm meets the wall by my head and he leans in, his nose a millimetre from mine. ‘I’m going to glide my hands over every curve of your perfect body, Olivia. And I’m going to watch while you writhe and fight to contain your desire for me.’ His fingertip traces a burning path down my wet hip, onto my thigh. I’m struggling for control already, and he knows it.
I rest my head back, parting my lips to gather more air.
‘I’m going to pay extra special attention just here.’ Heat radiates through me when he strokes tenderly back and forth over my pulsing centre. ‘And here.’ His head drops to my chest and he sucks a tingling nipple into the warmth of his mouth.
I hold my breath and hit my head against the wall behind me, fighting my natural instinct to seize him, feel him, kiss him.
‘Tell me how it feels,’ he orders, clamping his teeth onto my nipple, sending a sharp shot of pain down to my core while his fingers glide back and forth, constantly and calmly. My backside flies back in a lame attempt to escape the intense sparks of pleasure, but I wind up thrusting my hips forward, keen to capture the sensations and make them last forever.
‘Good.’ My voice is nothing but a husky, pleasure-fuelled gasp.
‘Elaborate.’
I start to shake my head, unable to fulfil his demand.
‘Do you want to touch me?’
‘Yes!’
‘Do you want to kiss me?’
‘Yes!’ I cry out, going to place my hand over his to increase the pressure on my clit, but finding the willpower from God knows where to stop myself.
‘Then take it all.’ It’s a demand, and only a second later, I’m attacking his mouth and my frantic hands are all over him. He bites my lip, so I bite him back, making him growl. ‘Do what the fucking hell you like to me, sweet girl.’
So I grab his cock and squeeze. It’s hard. It’s hot. He throws his head back and yells, his fingers working faster over my pulsing nerves, bringing me closer and closer, encouraging my own hand to fly over his shaft.
‘Shit!’ he gulps, and drops his head, his face contorting, his jaw tense, every feature razor sharp. My budding climax accelerates under the power of his eyes drilling into me and I begin to thrust my hips forward to meet his strokes.
He follows suit.
We watch each other as we bring each other to a head, me crying out constantly, M
iller panting in my face. Drops of water are forming on his dark lashes, making his already heated eyes glisten wildly.
‘It’s coming,’ I shout, trying to concentrate on seizing the pleasure that’s about to send me dizzy while ensuring I maintain my strokes so Miller gets his release, too. ‘It’s coming!’
It’s all very urgent – my feet shifting to stabilise me, Miller pushing his body farther into me, our mouths clashing and working frantically. ‘Fucking come, Olivia!’
I do. His command sends me wild. I bite his tongue, dig my nails into his flesh, and squeeze his cock hard, feeling it throbbing harshly in my hold.
‘Ooooh, shiiiit,’ he groans, going limp and collapsing against me, pushing me into the wall. I feel the heat of his essence hitting my tummy even through the heat of the water. ‘Just hold it,’ he pants. ‘Don’t let go.’
I do as I’m bid, working him slowly down as I thrust my hips gently against his hand, my heart racing, my mind focused only on getting through my blitz of pleasure. He’s pinning me to the wall with his tall body and his face is buried in my neck. Our breathing is laboured and broken. Our hearts are clattering, bashing together from our compressed chests. And our worlds are perfect.
But just in this moment.
‘I’ve not touched us with any soap,’ he pants, rolling his fingers around my flesh, then slowly pushing into me. My eyes close and I squeeze my muscles around him. ‘Yet I feel we’re cleaner already.’
‘Take me to bed.’
‘And give you my thing?’ He nips at my throat and then sucks gently, nips and sucks.
I smile through my exhaustion and release my hold of his semi-erect cock, moving my arms to circle his shoulders. I muscle my face into his, until he’s forced to free my throat, and locate his lips. ‘I want every part of you touching me,’ I mumble past his lips. ‘Don’t let go of me all night.’
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