from his arms and gazes down at me. ‘Because the alternative is your blood on my hands.’ I lose my breath but Miller continues, saving me the trouble of finding any words. There aren’t any. And I know now, one hundred per cent, that there’s nothing I can do to stop Miller from killing Charlie. ‘I have no remorse for what I did to that man. I’ll have even less for Charlie. But I would never forgive myself if any harm came to you, Olivia.’
My eyes clench in pain at his honest words and I finally allow myself to take some time and evaluate what they did to him. He was young in the video. Amid all the other shit this poor man has endured, when did that happen? How many times did it happen before he flipped? Did Charlie organise it? Undoubtedly. And now he wants to subject him to some Russian woman who wants to degrade him again. Never.
‘I need to get that,’ Miller says as the phone rings. He lifts me from my feet and carries me out of the studio into the kitchen. He doesn’t release me to take the call, instead holding me just as tightly with one arm and answering his phone with the other. ‘Hart,’ he greets shortly, resting his bum on the table and dropping me to my feet between his thighs. I’m still stuck to his front, but he doesn’t complain or ask for privacy.
‘Is she there?’ William’s irritated tone is perfectly clear to me and likely to be, considering my cheek is welded to one side of Miller’s face and his phone to the other.
‘She’s here.’
‘I just took a call,’ William tells Miller. He sounds hesitant.
‘From?’
‘Charlie.’ Just the mere mention of his name sets my panic off again. Why is he calling William? They’re archenemies.
‘So suffice it to say he knows for sure that I’m sleeping with the enemy?’ There’s a touch of irony tickling the corners of Miller’s question.
‘Hart, he has copies of the footage.’
My heart slows down. I feel it, and I know Miller feels it, too, because he clings on that little bit tighter. ‘Let me guess – if anything happens to Charlie,’ Miller says quietly, ‘there are two people with instructions on how to find the copies and what to do with them.’
There’s a long pause, and I see William in my imagination rubbing stressed circles into his grey temples. ‘How’d you know?’
‘Sophia told me. And she told me she destroyed all the footage.’
The shocked gasp that travels down the line cools my skin. ‘No.’ William sounds almost defensive in his counter. ‘And you believe her?’
‘Yes.’
‘Miller,’ William goes on carefully, using his Christian name for a change. ‘Charlie is untouchable.’
‘You almost sound like you don’t want me to kill him.’
‘Fuck.’ William heaves out a sigh.
‘Goodbye.’ Miller tosses his phone onto the table without care or attention and places his arm around me.
‘William knows,’ I mumble into his neck, only just comprehending the last few moments’ conversation. ‘He knows what’s in that footage?’
‘I guess he suspected. Charlie has only confirmed it. There have always been rumours about a night at the Temple that resulted in the death of a man by my hand, but that’s all it was. No one knew the circumstances and no one knew if it was true. It’s like the best-kept secret of the London underworld.’
Miller wrestles with me a little, encouraging me away from him. We’ve been stuck together so hard and for so long, it feels like he’s ripping a plaster slowly off my naked skin. I hiss a little, then grumble my protest, but he just smiles fondly. I have no idea what there is to smile about. Reaching up timidly, he gently strokes across my forehead, moving into my hair, pulling it away from my face. ‘I’m amazed you’ve still not turned to dust, sweet girl.’
I smile a little, searching his face. ‘I’m amazed you’re resting your naked bum on your dinner table.’
He reins in his smile, trying to scowl. ‘My table couldn’t be any more polluted than it already is, thanks to my beautiful girlfriend.’ He stops and seems to consider something for a moment. ‘Are you still my girlfriend?’
Albeit insanely inappropriate, I can’t help smiling brightly at my beautiful love. ‘Are you still my boyfriend?’
‘No.’ He shakes his head and takes my hands, bringing them to his mouth and kissing each of my rings and my knuckles in between. ‘I’m your slave, sweet girl. I live and breathe for no other purpose but you.’
I pout as I look down at his waves, his lush lips making side-to-side brushing motions over the tops of my hands. I don’t like the word slave. Especially following what I’ve just witnessed. ‘I prefer boyfriend. Or lover.’ Anything but slave.
‘As you wish.’
‘I do.’
He forces his face up to mine and gets nose to nose with me, searching my eyes. I feel like he’s feeding off the light he claims to find in them. ‘I’d do anything for you,’ he whispers. ‘Anything.’
I nod, feeling my irises burning from his concentrated gaze. ‘I know.’ He’s proven that. ‘But you can’t go to prison.’ He can’t fight for his freedom and then get locked up. It would be insane to consider that as a potential out. Seeing him once a week for . . . however long it might be won’t be enough.
‘I couldn’t survive a day without losing myself in you, Olivia Taylor. It’s not an option.’
Relief makes me dizzy. ‘So what now?’
He cuddles me fiercely before roughly releasing me and wiping at his cheeks. His face takes on an edge of determination, and when I should expect this to settle me, I find it unnerves me. ‘I need you to listen to me carefully.’ His palms rest on my shoulders, holding me in place. My heartbeat quickens. ‘Charlie thinks he has me cornered. He thinks I’m going on that date and trusting he’ll hold his end of the deal. And just in case you have any doubt racing through that mind of yours, he would never have upheld his end of the bargain.’ He taps my temple gently, giving me high brows.
I don’t like where this is heading. Miller looks too determined, and I can see with clarity him trying to inject me with some, too. I’m not sure he can. ‘What are you telling me?’
‘I’m telling you that I’m going to the Temple. I’ve accepted Charlie’s out, and—’
‘No! I hate to think of you with her.’ I know that’s the least of our problems at the moment, but possessiveness is getting stronger by the second. I can’t control it.
‘Shhhh,’ he hushes me abruptly, placing a finger over my lips. ‘I thought I told you to listen carefully.’
‘I am!’ I’m going to lose my mind. ‘And I don’t like what I’m hearing!’
‘Olivia, please.’ He takes my shoulders and shakes me a little. ‘I need to go on that date. It’s the only way I’ll get into the Temple and close to Charlie. I won’t be touching that woman.’
Close to Charlie. I withdraw, wide-eyed. ‘You really are going to kill him, aren’t you?’ I don’t know why I’m asking. He’s told William. I heard it with my own ears, but maybe I thought I’d wake up. This is the longest nightmare ever.
‘I need you to be strong for me, Olivia.’ His grip increases, almost to the point of pain. He pushes his lips to my forehead and breathes in deeply. ‘Trust me.’
Seeing the pleading in Miller’s eyes jars something within me, and then the flashbacks from the repulsive footage replay over in my mind. It only takes a second for me to recall the overwhelming need I felt to see Miller hurt that man. To know justice had been done. I want this to be over. I want Miller to be mine now. And then Miller’s words. They make perfect sense now.
You possess every part of me, Olivia Taylor. For all of the wrongs I have done and all that I am yet to do, I’m asking for your mercy. Only your love will see me through this hell.
‘OK.’ I don’t even shock myself with my easy acceptance. This is an easy decision. I’m suddenly full to the brim with resolve. I’m sound-minded and determined.
I want to be free of the invisible chains, because I am shackled, too. But mo
re than anything, I want Miller to be free. Wholly free. He gets to decide who he belongs to. He chooses me, and that can’t happen until this shit is over. He’ll never be mine until this is finished. No interferers. No living on the edge. Our histories will be as they should be. History.
‘Do it,’ I whisper. ‘I’ll be here for you. Always.’ His eyes fill with water and his chin trembles, fuelling my own tears to build. ‘Don’t cry,’ I beg, placing myself into his chest and guiding his arms around my back. ‘Please, don’t cry.’
‘Thank you.’ His words are disjointed and gruff as he cuddles me fiercely. ‘I don’t think I could love you any harder.’
‘I’m quite fascinated by you, too.’ I smile sadly, already planning what on earth I can do to busy myself when he sees through his promise to kill Charlie.
Can you die for one night and come back to life?
Once we’ve finally relented and given up our holds of each other, Miller takes his phone and wanders out of the kitchen to make a few calls.
In the meantime, I wander pointlessly around the kitchen, searching for something to do, anything to clean up or tidy. Nothing. I sigh my exasperation and find the dishcloth under the sink, then set about wiping up watermarks around the sink that aren’t there. I go over and over the same spots, rubbing at shiny stainless steel until I can see my face in it. It’s an awful sight, so I continue with my senseless wiping.
But then I pause.
Boom . . .
I slowly turn, armed with the damp cloth, and rest against the sink, looking across to him at the entrance. He’s leaning on the doorframe, spinning the phone slowly in his hand.
‘OK?’ I ask, folding the cloth and turning away from him to put it in its rightful place, thinking I should try an attempt at normal. I laugh at my stupid endeavour. I have no idea what normal is.
When I get no answer, I pivot slowly, biting my lip nervously.
‘Arrangements have been made.’ He means for his supposed date.
I nod, my fingers now rotating my ring nervously. ‘When?’
‘Tonight.’
‘Tonight!’ I blurt, shocked. That soon?
‘There’s an event at the Temple. I’m required to accompany her.’
‘Right.’ I gulp, then nod decisively. ‘What’s the time?’
‘Six.’
‘What time . . .’ I pull up and take a deep breath. ‘What time is your date?’ The words make me want to vomit.
‘Eight,’ he answers tightly, keeping cool blues on my fake brave face.
‘So we have two hours to get you ready.’
He frowns. ‘We?’
‘Yes. I’m going to help you.’ I’m going to bathe him, shave him, dress him, and kiss him goodbye, like a woman would who’s seeing her boyfriend off for work. Just a day in the office. That’s all.
‘Olivia, I—’
‘Don’t try to stop me, Miller,’ I warn, approaching him and taking his hand. He wants me to be strong. ‘We do this my way.’ I pull him over to the docking station and scroll through the tracks, looking for something a little upbeat. ‘Perfect,’ I declare, pressing play. Rihanna’s “Diamonds” joins us and I turn on a coy smile, delighted when I find a lovely smile gracing Miller’s face, too.
‘Perfect indeed.’
I start to lead the way to his bedroom, but I’m tugged to a stop.
‘Wait.’
Reluctantly, I halt when all I want to do is lose myself in the task of readying him.
‘Before we do things your way,’ he says, scooping me into his arms. ‘We do things my way.’ He’s moving before I can object, carrying me to his bedroom. I’m placed gently on the bed, like I’m the most delicate object in the universe, before his sits on the edge, one palm resting on the mattress so he can lean over me. ‘I need to have you once more.’
I press my lips together and work hard to hold on to my emotions. He means once more before he leaves to murder someone. The pad of his finger lightly settles on my bottom lip as he gazes down at me, and then he slowly walks his fingers over my chin, down my throat, and onto a breast. Every nerve ending ignites under his soft touch, my nipples tingling, begging for some attention. I’m not denied it. He keeps his eyes on me as he slowly drops his mouth to one breast, giving it a little flick of his tongue, before grazing the very tip with his teeth. My back bows and I fight to keep my arms at my sides. My other breast is claimed by his hand, his palm cupping it possessively, squeezing and moulding as he begins swirling his tongue around my other nipple. I shift on the bed, my legs twitching. I give in to their insistence to move and bring my knees up until the soles of my feet find the mattress.
He’s being super gentle, a total turnabout from our frantic fucking when I arrived. I sense there is more to it than just having me one more time. He wants to refuel on strength.
‘Nice?’ he asks, before filling his mouth with my breast, sucking gently.
‘Yes.’ I hum my pleasure, feeling the heaviness in my lower tummy intensifying. My arms take on a mind of their own and leave my side, my hands searching out the softness of his waves. He laps, licks, and sucks meticulously while my palms rest lightly on the back of his head, following his movements rather than pushing him farther into my chest.
‘You taste out of this world, Livy,’ he mumbles, kissing his way around my nipple and down to my midriff. I let my lids flutter closed in bliss and absorb every precious second of him feeling me, kissing me, worshipping me. His lips are everywhere on my torso, making me moan and writhe. The delicate bites of my flesh, his lips raining gentle kisses everywhere, it all provides the detachment I need from our imminent future.
I suck in air when his hand drifts close to the apex of my thighs, my tender, sensitive, wet flesh begging him to venture there. ‘Hmmmm.’ My head falls to the side, my hands now firming up on the back of his head in a silent hint. I want his mouth there.
He circles his thumb lightly over the top of my clit as he continues kissing my stomach. The friction makes me go rigid and hold my breath. ‘Always ready for me.’
I sigh, letting him work me up with his tender caresses. The ache in my groin is bubbling as my breath hitches, and I try my hardest not to moan, just so I can hear Miller’s pleasure-filled murmurs.
‘I want you to come like this first.’ His fingers slip into me and every greedy muscle clings on. ‘Then I’m going to make serious love to you.’
‘You always make serious love to me,’ I mumble, transferring my hands to my own hair and gripping hard at my scalp. My hips start thrusting up, matching his tempo.
‘And it’s the most gratifying feeling.’ His fingers flex within me. I gulp. ‘Your eyes smoking out as your pleasure builds. The tiny little pants of air as you try to control it.’ He circles, putting some weight behind his touch, making me shift up the bed. ‘Nothing can come close to watching you shatter beneath me, Olivia.’
I’m going to shatter now.
‘Are you nearly there?’ he asks softly, moving his face down and blowing a cool stream of air over my quivering centre. It propels me to the edge as I tighten my grip of my hair and clamp onto his fingers as he thrusts and slowly circles.
‘Ooooh,’ I breathe, my head beginning to slowly shake from side to side. ‘Miller, I need to come.’ All of my blood rushes to my head as I struggle to regulate my breathing.
I cry out when his mouth encases my clitoris, his fingers still pushing into me gently. I’m beginning to shake uncontrollably. ‘Miller!’
He withdraws his fingers and moves fast, lying between my legs and placing his hands on my inner thighs to push them wide apart. I go rigid, probably hampering him, but my climax is taking hold. The wet heat of his mouth suckling at me pushes me gently over the edge as I expel a long controlled rush of breath. I liquefy on the bed. I’m pulsing under his tongue, long and steady, drinking in air and circling my hips into his mouth. ‘I love it when you cry my name in desperation.’ He laps his tongue around my soaking core, gently easing me down f
rom my subtle release.
‘I love it when you make me that desperate.’ I spasm when his lips scatter gentle pecks all over my swollen centre, working his way back up my body until he’s at eye level with me. Gazing into his burning eyes, he swivels his hips and plunges deeply, catching me a little off guard. His brow is shimmering with sweat, the gorgeous lock of hair skimming his damp skin. ‘You’re so warm.’ He pushes forward some more, his eyes flickering. ‘You feel so fucking good.’
I press my lips to his and he responds on a long, low moan, circling my tongue slowly with his. ‘Not as good as you,’ I mumble against his lips, his long stubble grazing my face.
He breaks our kiss and circles my nose with his. ‘We’ll agree to disagree.’ His hips swing into action, pulling out slowly. ‘Olivia,’ he whispers my name, and it only serves to increase my heart rate and transform the heat in my veins to flames. ‘Olivia Taylor, my most precious possession.’ He pushes forward soft and slow and with the utmost control.
My back bows, my hands taking a hold of his shoulders, feeling the flexing muscles as he withdraws again.
‘I love taking my time with you.’
I close my eyes on a long moan and let him do exactly that.
‘Don’t deprive me of your eyes, sweet girl. I need to see them.
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