Pike doesn’t say a word. He simply nods in understanding.
Ara stares at me, demanding my attention. She mouths, “Are you okay?” her brow knit in concern.
I shrug, unsure of whether I am or not. “I’ll see you guys in the room later.”
“We’ll be a little while. Not too long.” Xan finishes his drink. “I can’t leave until things with Lorna work out.”
“In other words, we’ll be here forever!” Micah laughs.
“Maybe not,” Aaron counters. “Look.” He clips his head toward Lorna, who chats with another, older woman. She appears to be looking our way, or more specifically at Xan, and smiling. “Maybe Xan’s right. Maybe she’s interested.”
Xan’s chest puffs out. He struggles to hide the satisfied grin curling the corners of his mouth.
“Oh man! Aaron’s right!” Kai claps his hands and tosses his head back. His laugh is so rich and hearty, the entire table joins in. “This could be an interesting night for him.”
Their laughter and words are overwhelming. Grating. Any other time I’d find the situation hilarious. I’d be laughing and commenting along with them. But not now. Not today.
“I’ll see you guys later,” I say and turn on my heels to leave.
As I make my way through the crowd, I hear my voice being called. “Lucas! Lucas, wait up!” Stopping, I turn and see Reyna. She presses past people and makes her way to me. “Hey. Want some company?” She smiles.
“Nah, you should stay and enjoy yourself. Looks like things are fun back there.” I nod toward our table. “Besides, I don’t think I’ll be good company.”
Her smile wilts. “Oh. I see.”
“It’s not you,” I say quickly. “It’s me. I’m all messed up right now.”
She studies my face for a moment. “Let me help you. And then I’ll be the judge of whether your bad company or not.” She looks over her shoulder, to where Xan is carving a path through people with his gaze, boring a hole into Lorna with his eyes. “Besides, I have a feeling things with Loverboy Xan and Lorna are going to be the real mess here. I don’t think I can stomach watching it.” She turns back toward me. “So like it or not, I’m coming with you.”
Mirroring the smile she wears, I nod. “Come on.” I extend my hand to her. She takes it, slipping her palm against mine and intertwining our fingers. Together, we leave Fat Sal’s and head to our room. Once upstairs and inside our room, I shut the door. “I hope you don’t mind. I just didn’t feel like walking around the city or anything. Just felt like being here.”
“Whatever you want. I just want to help.” She sits on the edge of her bed and takes off her boots. I sit facing her and do the same. “So, Lucas,” she starts, cocking her head to one side. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
I release a sound that’s somewhere between and exasperated huff and a laugh. Rubbing the back of my head, I say, “I don’t know where to begin.” I stare at the worn carpet for several beats. When I look up, Reyna waits patiently, her gaze soft and welcoming as she looks at me. Staring into her eyes, twin pools of crystal-clear water, any walls I have crumble. I cannot lie to her. I can’t feign strength or confidence I don’t have at the moment. “I’m not sure whether I should be happy with what I just did or ashamed.” My gaze drops to a loose thread on the bed covering. “I just…I don’t know.” I shake my head.
“I think you should be proud of yourself for what you did,” she says.
“Proud?” My head rears as if I’ve been struck. “Proud that a man begged for mercy and I didn’t give it to him? That I was unfazed by his pleas at the time?”
“Lucas,” Reyna say quietly. “Did he show that boy mercy last night? Did he show Liam mercy?”
“No, but—” I start, but Reyna continues speaking.
“Ask yourself this: would many more die by Ryker’s hand had you not done what you did?” she asks.
I consider what she’s said, pausing and thinking before I answer. “I suppose.”
“If you hadn’t killed him, he’d have killed Liam’s father for sure, and who knows how many more people. Just because he can.” Her line of thought is reasonable. But I’m not sure she’s sincere. Maybe she thinks I’m a killer now. Maybe she’s letting me off the hook because she’s scared of me.
“What makes it right for me to decide to be the one to stop him? I’m no one. I’m not here to punish bad people or judge. I’m here to take care of the people I love. To keep them alive and survive.”
“You’re a good person, Lucas. That’s who you are. That’s what gives you the right. If there were more like you, I’m sure this city would be a lot better,” she says.
I stare at her for a long moment. “Do you really think that?” I ask finally, my voice strangely vulnerable and foreign to my own ears. “I mean, are you telling me the truth? You really don’t think I’m just like the people here now?”
Her lips press to a tight line and she shakes her head slowly. “Do you think I would ever do that? Honestly? Do you think I would judge you or think badly of you for defending what’s right?” She chews her lower lip for a moment, staring at her lap. “I’d have done it myself if you hadn’t.” Her eyes lock on mine, and in them I see truth. I see the core of who she is. I see why I respect and admire her as I do.
“We’re so much alike,” she mutters to herself.
Stunned and honored by her comment, I say the first words to cross my mind. “Thank you.” On the surface, her words may have been little more than a fleeting thought or observation. But inside they resonate deep in my marrow.
“For what?” She looks truly confused.
“For saying I’m like you,” I say quietly.
Reyna tilts her head back, staring up at the ceiling. She laughs. “After all you’ve done for me, for Ara and Pike, for all of us—including perfect strangers—you’re flattered by me saying we’re alike? You think it’s a compliment to be like me rather than the other way around?”
“Yes.” I shrug. “I do.”
She stands and I panic. Is she leaving? I stand, too, suddenly beset by nerves so pronounced I shiver. “Are you okay?” I ask. I touch my hand to my forehead, suddenly hot and cold simultaneously. “Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry if I offended—”
“No, no, you didn’t offend me. It’s nothing like that.” She tucks a lock of silvery-blonde hair behind her ear.
“Then what is it?” I ask.
She places a hand on my forearm. The fine hairs on my body rise and quiver at her touch. I look directly at her. “I just can’t imagine what you see...” She stares up at me through a veil of dark lashes, leaving her sentence unfinished. “What you think is so great that it’s a compliment to be like me.”
“That’s simple.” I contemplate resting my hand atop hers but fear I’ll lose the ability to speak if I do. “Everything.”
Eyes widening before narrowing and lips parting, she studies my face. “Everything?” she breathes.
“Everything.” I swallow hard against the fear I feel and continue. “Your bravery. Your kindness. Your sense of humor. Your intelligence. Your instinct.” I could go on and on, but limit my rambling to a few key points. “And your beauty.” I blush and realize I may have just implied I want to look like her. Panicking, I blurt, “But I don’t want to look like you. You’re very pretty, but you’re a girl.” My face feels consumed by flames, so much so my eyeballs feel like twin orbs of fire. “What I mean to say is I wouldn’t want to look like a girl. But I guess if I had to be a girl, I’d want to look like you.” I hear the idiotic words spewing from me, uncontrollable and spastic. Like vomit. Though I want to stop myself, I can’t. “Oh gosh. What I’m trying to say is you’re beautiful. That’s all,” I say. “I’m not making any sense.”
“No, you are.” She licks her lips and smiles. “I think you’re beautiful, too. And not like a girl.” She winks.
I slap my hand to my forehead, leaving it there and covering my eyes. “I’m such an idiot. I just ramble on an
d on sometimes.”
“Lucas, look at me.” She waits until I lower my hand. “You’re who I want to be with,” she says tenderly. “You, exactly as you are.” Her sudden seriousness catches me off guard. Her words surprise me. They’re a very pleasant surprise.
I’m suddenly aware of how close we are. I’m reminded of how petite she is next to me. Fit and toned from years of hunting, and then training and battling in the arena, she’s lithe and lean. Her head reaches my chest. In the moments that she stands before me, as near as she is, I realize I’ve spent so much time with Reyna, but never had the opportunity to truly look at her. My thoughts had been so preoccupied with Ara and Pike, with survival. The time to truly take her in as I do now never existed. I’d never been so fortunate. But I am now.
As I gaze at Reyna now, as I look upon her face with its pale skin, translucent blue eyes, pert nose and rosebud lips, I see something more than I’ve ever seen before. Mustering as much courage as I can, I reach out, touching a lock of her hair. The silky strands slide through my fingers. I smile, chuckling softly. Nervously. “Your hair is beautiful,” I say and hear the tremor in my voice. “You’re beautiful.” I brush my hand down her cheek, gently trailing my fingertips to her jaw. Watching my fingers upon her skin sparks a tingling that quivers a path straight up my arm to my heart. I’m sure the wild throb at the base of my neck is visible. It pounds in time with my heart, speeding dangerously when her hands grip my waist. I cup her face, leaning forward and closing the distance between us. With infinitesimal slowness, I lower my head, tilting it slightly to one side, until my lips hover above her. My heartbeat races so frantically I fear it’ll break free of my ribcage. I have no idea what I’m doing, haven’t planned any of it. My heart has simply taken control.
Reyna’s warm breath feathers across my lips. She rises up onto her tiptoes and I’m unable to wait a second longer to taste her lips. I close my eyes and press my mouth to hers. Instantly, her soft lips meld with mine, her heart thundering against my chest, and the world around us dissolves. A thrill of excitement bolts down my spine and my skin is claimed by pinpricks of exhilaration. I draw her closer, deepening our kiss, and I have to remind myself to breathe.
I do not pull away. I do not want to ever pull away. What’s happening feels comfortable. It feels right. It feels better than anything I’ve ever experienced. The events of the day fade. The public trials, Liam’s death, Bran’s attempt to avenge it and Ryker’s final challenge, all of it leaves me. Peace is replaced in its stead. In this moment, only Reyna and I exist. Swept away on a euphoric rush, I hold her tight. Her warm body is pressed against mine, not a space remains. Only the rise and fall of our chests and the beat of our hearts passes between us. Pressing one hand over my heart, Reyna backs away slightly. My happiness wavers until her gaze meets mine, coupling with it. In her eyes, an emotion I’ve never seen shimmers in the depths of her irises. “I love you,” she breathes unexpectedly.
Joy effervesces inside of me, so complete I struggle to contain it, struggle to keep from bursting. “I love you, too,” I whisper. I want to stop time, freeze this very moment forever and shield it from the rest of the world. Reyna loves me. And I love her. I feel as if my heart has swelled, fuller than it’s ever been and too large to be contained by my ribcage. I want to tell her. Tell her exactly what her words mean to me, what it means to have her love, but words escape me. My heart has the words. My mind knows them. But they’re lost somewhere in the space that leads to speech. Maybe words aren’t needed. Maybe this special time, the time we’ve shared the three simplest words with the greatest meaning on the planet, is too sacred to risk ruining with anything more. Maybe it just needs to be sheltered. And savored.
Reyna entwines her fingers with mine. She doesn’t say anything. She leads me across the room and locks the door, including the latch above the doorknob. Stopping and still holding my hand, she says, “Can we just leave the world behind for a little while? Just pretend Sinsity doesn’t exist? Pretend it’s just you and I?”
I smile. I have my answer. It’s as if she’s read my mind. “That sounds great.” I nod. “Perfect, in fact.”
“I just want you to hold me for a little while. Is that okay?”
Okay? Holding her forever wouldn’t be long enough. But I’ll take whatever time I’m given. “That’s better than okay. I’d love to,” I answer. She pulls me towards the bed I share with Pike and sits, tugging my hand so I sit beside her. She scoots over and places her head on my pillow. “Y-you want me to hold you here? On the bed?” I ask. Confused and pulse stuttering, I want to be sure.
Reyna nods and pats the space beside her. Without need for further prompting, I position myself on my back, opening my arms to her. Reyna nestles close, placing her head on my shoulder. I slip my arm around her shoulders and lie there, cocooned in silence and wrapped in a sense of peace and bliss I’ve never known.
I don’t know how long Reyna and I have been asleep or what time it is when the door to the room explodes. Startled awake, my eyes snap open. Bleary and unfocused at first, they struggle against the thick blanket of darkness surrounding me. My heart gallops madly as if I’ve just sprinted up a steep hill. Only no hill has been scaled. I’m flat on my back.
Smashed in from the outside, wood from the door splinters in every direction. Reyna screams. I bolt upright and start shouting, “What the heck is going on?” but a hand claps across my lips, firm fingers biting into the skin around my mouth. Silencing me. My eyes dart from side to side. I strain to scan my surroundings. I’m able to make out five large shapes, inky and imposing against the dimness of the room. I start to sit up, contracting my abdominal muscles and lurching forward, but am halted by hands that pin a leg and arm on either side of my body to the bed, and a voice at my ear. “Oh I wouldn’t fight if I were you. Then we’d have to hurt your wife.” The voice is low, quivering with the promise of violence.
Wife. I freeze in recognition. The gravity of the situation settles over me. My heart leaps from my chest to my throat. Volac’s men are in my room, dangerously close to Reyna. Threatening her. Every muscle in my body tenses. Innumerable thoughts race through my brain. I attempt to writhe inasmuch as I can, but am met with resistance. And the voice in my ear once again.
“I guess you didn’t understand me. I’ll have to show you what happens when you move.” Warning slithers through his words with serpentine deliberateness before a loud slap rings out followed by Reyna’s cries. A fine sheen of sweat breaks out on my body and I feel the color drain from my face. I shout and curse. “Don’t you lay another hand on her!” I twist my upper body and see Reyna. A thin rivulet of blood trickles from her lip and a red welt mars her cheek. My muscles twitch. I start to jerk forward.
“Remember, don’t fight us,” the voice whispers in my ear. “Or the next time I use a closed fist.” He raises his clenched hand. Thin ribbons of light from the hallway steal across the room, deepening the hollows of his eyes and cheeks and lighting a strange object worn on his hand. Unsure of what it is exactly, I realize it’s a weapon of sorts. I see it clearly. Metal rings encircle every finger on his fist, sitting just below his knuckles and ending at a curved bar he clutches in his palm. “Using this, I’ll break her jaw for sure.”
“I-I won’t move! I promise! Just leave her alone!” I shout, the words vaulting from me in a frantic cluster.
“Aww, isn’t that sweet. You want to protect her.” The man hisses his taunt at my ear. “Too bad we can’t stay.”
“What? Where are you taking us?” Panic has me in its icy grip.
“Us? She’s not going anywhere. Just you?” the man tells me.
“Why are you taking him? Where’s he being taken?” Reyna screams.
“He’s broken then laws of Sinsity. He needs to answer to Volac,” he replies.
“I’ve done nothing! I haven’t broken any laws!” I try as my brain swims dizzying laps around all that’s happening.
“Tell that to Volac,” the man says with a sin
ister chuckle. “Good luck with that.”
In the instant that the words leave his lips, I fear my fate is sealed. All I can think of is Ara and Pike. And Reyna. Reyna, the girl who loves me. The girl I love. “Reyna, I’m sorry!” I scream before a hard object collides with the back of my head. An explosion of pain sends trembling veins of agony snaking through my skull. A burst of brilliant light fills my field of vision like a sea of stars before the world falls dark.
Chapter 17
When I regain consciousness, I find that my hands are tied behind my back. Head smarting and with the taste of blood thick on my tongue, the room around me spins. Panic settles over me like a mist of icy rain, bleeding my body of warmth. The events of the evening play out in my mind. All I can think of is Reyna. The terror in her eyes. The fear in her voice. Volac’s guard striking her. The image of his hand colliding with her cheek sends a chaotic swell of anger raging through my veins. Anger and worry. What happened to her after I left? What happened to Ara and Pike? To everyone else? Knot tightening in my gut about the infinite ways all of them can be punished, I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to breathe and get my bearings. I have no idea where I am. No way of knowing if the people I love are safe. And worst of all, no way of helping them. Or myself. Volac’s guards said I broke laws of Sinsity. Their accusation is all I’m certain of. That, and that I’ve been thrown in a cell of sorts. Three walls of stone. One wall of bars. The space is small and unnaturally silent, save for the soft drip of condensation coming from somewhere in the dark shadows that stretch beyond it. I wonder whether this is the only cell, whether more people are being held here. Impulsively, I shout, “Hey! Hey! Is anyone there?” No one replies. On the off-chance one of his guards roams the dank hallway, I call out again, “How long will I be kept here?” But my efforts are in vain. The darkness answers back with staunch silence.
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