by Evelyn Glass
I hold my breath as the back opens. The van’s cargo light is turned on, but I can barely make out Sunny from the outside. Her head hangs low, and her hands sit folded in her lap. She’s dressed in a heather green and black dress—Filthy Bastard’s colors, and I wonder if she did that on purpose or if she was forced into that. She looks impossibly bigger than when I saw her last. Her growing belly overwhelms her small frame.
“Bear?” she whispers as she turns towards the opening. She doesn’t stand but waits for me to join her inside. Once I’ve scooted myself onto the bucket seats, the doors close and we’re locked in.
“What are you doing here?” she asks in complete shock. “I didn’t think I would see you again.”
“You really don’t think I can fucking beat that pussy?”
“No, it’s not that… it’s just that…”
“We don’t need to talk about the fight,” I offer. “We can talk about other things.”
“Like what?”
“Like what we’re going to do when we get the hell out of here.”
She smiles slightly, her lip lifting at the corners. “Start over?”
“Damn, I hope so. My club wants that baby. We’ll take care of it.”
“And me?” she asks under her breath.
“And you what? You think I don’t want you to?”
“It’s just that... I…” She stumbles to get the words out before confessing, “I didn’t know if you would want me after everything we’ve been through—after I told you I didn’t want you twice.”
“Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Want me?” I reply.
Her eyes glitter in the small amount of light as her face beams and reddens at the same time. “You’re all I can think about. Since we… that night at the motel… I should’ve stayed with you.”
“I should’ve forced you to stay,” I answer. “You were mine right then and there. I should’ve realized that, Sunny. No other girl could make me feel like you did. No other girl could take over my mind like you have.”
“Oh, God. Bear!” She collapses into my arms. I hold her tightly to my chest as she cries. “I needed to hear you say that. These last few days…”
“What did he do to you?”
“Nothing. I mean, he hit me. Kitka too, but I’m okay. We’re okay. I just spent this time thinking about you—about what he was going to do to you. I can’t lose you again. I won’t.” My blood boils hearing her say this. I knew that fucker would sink that low. I knew it the moment I saw him with her. I bottle the rage and focus on my girl. She needs me more than my anger needs to punch through this van’s walls.
“You won’t. I’m not going down today, Sunny. You, our baby, our life outside this shit… it’s worth it. No matter what happens, you need to know that you’re worth this. And there’s only God himself that could stop me from winning you back.”
She wipes her tears with her forefingers, her mascara making trails on her cheeks. “Promise me,” she instructs me.
“Promise you what?”
“Promise that you’ll win that fucking fight and come back and get me.”
“I promise you that I’ll win. I swear to you that I’ll win. For you, for the baby, for us.”
She places her small, trembling hands on my cheeks as if memorizing me. Her voice whispers, “Bear,” before leaning in and kissing me. The rest of my five minutes pass and they end up having to pull me away from her.
Chapter Fifteen
Sunny
“You can’t do this! Cobra! Killer! Come on!” I scream until my vocal cords are raw and my throat is achingly dry. But no matter how much I protest, how much I yell and holler at them, it makes absolutely no difference. The van doors shut slowly, and I’m left with nothing but Bear’s taste on my lips and the smell of him in my memories. I place my hand on the seat where he sat—still warm. It’s near impossible to imagine that he was real and that the boys would let him spend time like this with me, but he was there, staring at me, making promises there’s no way he could be sure he could keep.
“For you, for the baby, for us.” His stern, steady voice repeats in my head. There wasn’t any sign of nervousness or regret—none of the stuff that I would expect before a fight. But Bear is a pro. He makes men like Cobra bleed for a living. There is a reason why he has a reputation, so maybe I should trust him and let his skills do the talking. Of course, that’s easier said than done when you’re trapped in a locked, overheated van with no chance in hell of breaking out of here.
Not that I haven’t tried. After a few days of being Cobra’s prisoner, I had hoped he would let me go watch the fight with Kitka and the rest of the girls as planned. I had done my best to be a good, obedient little girl for him. I kept my mouth shut, speaking only to Kitka when he allowed. I didn’t even ask for food. It had been three days since I’d eaten a halfway decent meal. The only food I’d managed to get into my system were some candy bars and a couple of bottles of water I’d managed to squirrel away in my room when I wasn’t locked away. It sure as hell was testing my reserve.
But the van was a complete surprise. I had gotten ready that night with Kitka at my side. She helped me put on my heels and zipped me up into this A-line dress she had found in Larissa’s closet from one of the few times when she wasn’t freaking out about her weight. It fit perfectly, even though I knew I’d stick out like a sore thumb with my belly jutting a mile out in front of me for all the club world to gawk at.
Still, I walked tall that afternoon. Earlier that night, I had overheard Cobra talking about his game plan to a visitor. He was drunk as a skunk and cussing up a storm, but he mentioned how he hadn’t trained—hadn’t cared about if he won. He just wanted to make Bear bleed out for catching him in the parking lot in front of Killer. He didn’t sound motivated at all and certainly didn’t seem to care about me in this equation. With him being so nonchalant about it, there was so much more for Bear to fight for. After that fight with our guy, where he left him in the hospital for months, it was clear Bear would have an edge.
But after Kitka had gotten me made up and left to join the others, I waited as patiently as I could in the living room for permission to leave. It was Killer who greeted me. He smiled as he looked at me. It was that kind of tired, apologetic version that should send shivers up anyone’s spine.
“You’re looking great, Sunny,” his nasal voice intoned. I remembered the rumor about him wanting me and wondered if it had changed—given the circumstances and him now bedding up with Kitka. He certainly didn’t show much outward want towards me, but there was no denying he was kind compared to the terror that waited in the hallway.
“Get into the van,” Cobra growled in between long drinks out of a brown, unmarked bottle. “You hear me? Get in! I ain’t waiting on you no longer.”
I looked over towards Killer who seemed totally unfazed by this. He shrugged his shoulders as he placed a hand on my back and led me out to the waiting white van—the van the girls joked was the kidnapping van. In reality, the club used it for transporting dead cycles to and from races. Sometimes, when necessary, it was a gun runner carrying ammo and backup weapons when the club traveled to conventions and events. The girls rode inside when they didn’t have a rider claim them. My heart sank at that moment remembering being jostled around with no heat, no windows, and little light.
But I survived without a complaint, and frankly, it was worth it for just a handful of minutes alone with Bear. But now he’s gone, and all I can do is lean my ear against the van’s door and listen for any signs that the fight has begun. I can hear the men guarding the van—their muffled voices, the sounds of gravel and shoes squishing on the ground, and some indistinguishable shouts. I place myself even closer to the cold wall of the van until I hear a loud pound against my cheek.
I have seconds to jump out of the way before the door flies back open. I fall to the floor as I cry out in surprise. Kitka stands out in the yellowish-red overhead lighting. “What the hell
are you doing down there? Let’s get the fuck out of here!”
“What? What are you talking about?” Behind her, a few girls I don’t recognize lean against the door. “Why are they here?”
“Come on, sweetie, we’ve gotta go,” one of the older ones gestures to me. She leans in the van and offers me her arm. My roundness and weight make it difficult to prop myself back up, so much so that I practically roll out the back and onto the ground. The same woman catches me in her arms. “Due soon, huh? No doubt it’s our Bear’s!”
“Our Bear’s? Are you with…”
“They’re helping get you the hell out of here,” Kitka jumps in with a crazed half-smile. “They’re gonna drive you to a Wilderkind safe house that Vance, the president, has picked out. They and he will be the only ones who know where you are. I don’t even know. Once you’ve had the kid, and the dust has died down from you running, you’ll go back to the Wilderkind.”
“What? But the fight? Bear? He told me he was going to win fair and square. I’m not going to put him in more risk because I’m running away!” I cry out as I realize how desperate this situation is. Over the line of cars and cycles, I can see the fight beginning. The men are on their feet, too distracted by the ref introducing Cobra and Bear to notice what is happening back here. The Filthy Bastards guards are nowhere to be seen, probably off drinking or putting in last minute bets when Killer and Cobra are too distracted to care.
“Why you wasting time, girl?” one of the other women whispers. “Let’s get the hell out of here!” She grabs me by the arm and tries to lead me away from the fight, but I can’t let her do this. I can’t leave Bear when he needs me the most.
“No… no… no!” I shout. “Kitka! I’m not going anywhere. Not until I know what happens with the fight. There has to be some other way—some way to get me out of here without them seeing me when the fight is over! Please! I’m not going to leave Bear alone.”
Kitka places her hand over the girl’s wrist and pulls her back from me. She pulls me into her arms and places her face inches from mine. I feel her long fingers trace my cheeks as she looks me dead in the eye and sighs heavily. “No one is going to make you go, Sunny. But you understand the risk you’re taking on? You’re not gonna get these girls killed. As soon as the fight is over, you’re gunning it to the car.”
“No! That’s not part of the plan, Kitty Kat. We discussed this. Vance gave us our orders too. We get her the hell out of here now, or we aren’t going anywhere tonight.”
Kitka doesn’t break her eye contact with me as her face transforms into that bitch I know she can be. Her entire face turns cold and unreadable. She lets go of me and turns back towards the older woman who impatiently taps her toes on the ground.
“Listen here, Zelda,” Kitka whispers. “I’m the one in charge here. Vance said so. And if I say that she can watch the fucking fight, she’s gonna watch the fucking fight! Now go pull your car up towards that hill where the Filthy Bastards girls are. Park it behind the underpass so none of them can see you. We’ll sit up there, and when the fight is done, she’ll run right back over to you before anyone can see she’s missing.”
“This is on you,” the woman sneers. “If something happens to us, you Filthy Bastard scum are gonna have more to pay for.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less, Zelda.” Kitka smiles wickedly as she looks towards me again. “Now, are you ready to go watch? Don’t say a word to the other girls. Just follow my lead, and play it cool. You don’t want to raise any haunches.” She takes my hand and leads me through the maze of bikes and cars and up towards the hill. I stumble slightly in my overly tight shoes and the awkward dress, but I manage to make it up and over just so we can take a spot to the side of the girls.
I can make out Bear from here. His brown tuft of hair is already sweaty and frizzed up as the two men dart across the ring. I watch their hands carefully. Unlike the boxing matches where you are more focused on them blocking, this was all about the charge. One wrong move and one of them could slit an artery, chop off a finger, or worse—make a kill shot. I haven’t seen one of those fights yet, but it’s come close. I shudder thinking of a Filthy Bastards member who had their neck slit from a backhanded move.
“What is this, amateur hour!?” Larissa screams nearby. She must have noticed us arriving because she then calls out, “What the hell are you doing over there? Get on over here and share the blanket. It can’t be comfortable standing in those shoes like that.”
“No. She’s fine,” Kitka says without giving her a look. She squeezes my shoulder as a reminder to keep my mouth shut.
It takes all my control not to answer as Larissa adds, “Your boy is looking tired. You keeping him up all night?”
My boy isn’t the one who is looking tired. He’s looking rather triumphant as he dives towards Cobra’s thighs and hips. The crowd goes silent as they wait to see him pull back. To everyone’s surprise, he’s missed. Bear leaps back onto his feet, his chest heaving and panting. He wipes his head with the hand holding the knife, and I see, for the first time since I’ve known him, that he’s struggling, truly struggling.
“There you go, Cobra!” one of the girls shouts as she stands up. “Don’t let that pansy get you! Get him! Get him!”
I turn back towards to the ring to see Cobra jump in the air, his large frame flying fast towards Bear. Bear tries to duck and roll but gets tangled under the mess of his body. Both of the knives fly fast towards the other person. From here, it’s a mess of arms and legs, torsos and tops of heads. The club men shout in confusion and chaos. But for me, everything goes completely silent as I wait in the milliseconds for something—anything.
And then, the entire world changes.
There’s a pop. I can hear it, even over the yelling and screaming, I can hear my body pop. I have no idea if Kitka heard it as well, but she looks towards me with bulging, terrified eyes as she speaks without thinking, “Oh my God, Sunny! Did your—”
We both look down towards the ground at the space between my legs. A small trickle of water pours out of me and then, like the dam breaking, the rest follows with a splash. The next thing I know, before I have a moment to calm myself down, something hits my back, plucking at the nerves. My entire stomach and hips feel as if they are being pulled apart and thrown together all at the same time. I double over with my arms wrapped around me.
“Bear!” I shout, unable to control myself. “Someone get him!” But no one moves. The girls stare me down like I’m kryptonite—one wrong move on their part and they’ll be delivering the baby themselves. It’s not until I scream, “BEAR! GET BEAR!” that Kitka goes into overdrive. She races off back towards the women from the Wilderkind who I can see just out of the corner of my eye. The Filthy Bastards girls spring into action too, but they send Larissa racing towards the ring where Killer is watching the fight that’s gone bloody.
I have no idea whose blood is on that ring or which body is lying on the ground. My eyes are fixated on the two men boxed together on the ground. The ref’s legs block their faces as all the club gathers around to see the carnage. But with Larissa screaming like a banshee on fire, it only takes moments for every eye around the ring to turn towards me on the hill. Of course, it’s Killer I see running. Every part of me wants to slither away, but I’m unable to move not only because of the pain but because of the two figures slowly gathering to their feet.
To my surprise, Killer doesn’t look phased at seeing me out of the van. It’s almost as if he had expected me to be right where I was. Without a pause, he shouts, “Are you okay? Is this it?”
“Yeah,” I answer through gritted teeth. “I-I think the baby’s coming. My water broke.” He grabs my arm and pulls me so that I am standing up straight. In this position, I can see Bear standing motionless in the ring. Cobra’s behind him, panting so hard his shoulders bob next to that giant, snake-covered head of his. I whisper towards Killer, knowing it will do no good, but I know I have to try. “Bear… please, Killer.”
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“Don’t worry about him. He’s got a fight to finish.”
He pulls me off towards the road, back through the line of motorcycles. As I struggle through the pain, letting myself cry out, I hear it—the sound of Bear calling to me, shouting my name. “Sunny! Wait! Sunny!”
I turn around to see it—Cobra, taking advantage of Bear’s distraction, comes out of nowhere. His knife is raised in the air, with his mouth split into a smile as the large, tattooed arm strikes Bear straight in the shoulder, near his neck. Everything goes into slow motion as I spin myself around, clutching at my stomach and side. Killer yells out for me, but I’m already rushing towards the ring. With each footstep, the pain gets worse, but I have to see him. I have to see Bear!
“Bear! No! Please… no!” I cry, tears streaming down my face.
The men in the crowd part one-by-one as I claw my way up. I use their shoulders to push myself forward until I am directly up against the makeshift ring. My arm stretches out towards Bear, who lies on his stomach in a bloody mess. When he hears my voice, his head slowly turns towards me. His eyes look heavy and tired, and his lips mumble something that I can’t hear. I know I have no time. Cobra is screaming to have me removed, and the pain is so bad that I feel as if my stomach and back will explode at any minute.
