by Evelyn Glass
Jana doesn’t exactly see it like that. She’s been calling me nonstop since I texted her about it. Even now, I can hear my phone vibrating against the metal freezer, but I’m going to ignore it and just sink back this shot nice and easy. There’s nothing Jana can tell me at this point that could make me answer her phone calls, anyway. I’ve got to deal with this one on my own and in my own way. That’s how this works.
A sudden knock on the side of the truck surprises me so much that I almost fall out of my chair. My laptop falls to my feet along with the shot glass I was holding. I use my remote to lower the music blasting from my speaker. A woman’s deep, mournful voice fades into the background as I scream, “LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, JANA! YOU KNOW I’M NOT GOING TO OPEN IT.”
There’s a pause as I go to turn the music back up, but before I can press the volume, I hear a man grumble. “Alana… it’s me. Open up so we can talk.” Liam? Is that his voice? What the holy hell is this? He made it clear that he had made his choice. Now he wants to come back? How the fuck did he even find me here?
I shake the cobwebs from my head and make my way to the back, not even thinking to open the window and check out the scene first. I just stretch out my arms to steady myself as the drinks catch up to my wobbling legs. “I’m coming… I’m coming…” I cry out, holding on to one of the shelving units. Outside, the voices seem to multiply and morph. I blame it on day drinking.
But when I pull open the doors, all I can do is scream as I fall backward again. My feet pick me up as I grab at anything and everything I can, throwing them at the two men and woman charging at me with their arms and their snickering smiles. I make it up to the driver’s seat, but there’s nothing I can do. There’s an arm on my leg and another on my shoulder as they both pull me over and keep me down at the same time.
With me constrained, a ribbon of gold hair falls towards my face, brushing up against my nose. I cry out, “Amy! What the…”
“Oh, I should have known you’d be a skinny little thing. Liam could never resist a little chicken-legged girl like you. And you couldn’t stay away from him either, could you?” She hovers over me with her arms crossed over her chest. “I warned you, Alana. You forced me to do this when you wouldn’t just stay the fuck away from my man.”
“We broke up! Liam broke up with me last night. I haven’t heard from him or talked to him all day. It’s true!” I desperately shout back as she stares at me blankly. The men surrounding her twist my shoulders down, so I hit my head hard against the tiled floor.
“It was a little too late. And plus, if I hadn’t made my way up the line in Steel Saints, I know you wouldn’t have given him up so easily. A guy like Liam is one you keep. And I plan on holding onto him as long as possible.”
Rage builds deep within me; coupled with the copious amounts of alcohol still coursing through my blood. I let myself shout back, “You think he’s going to be fucking okay with this, Amy? You think he’s ever going to love the person who kidnapped his last girlfriend, who bombed his gym? Are you insane?”
She squats slowly in her tight black dress, the fabric moving up her thick, pale legs. Lowering her voice to a snake-like whisper, she presses two lips close to my ear, “If you think I’m crazy now, you wacky little cunt, just wait until you see what I have in store for you back at the clubhouse. Oh, and don’t you think I forgot to do my research…”
Amy stands back up and looks at one of the guys -- the guy from the parking lot of Liam’s restaurant -- and orders him, “Go to St. Luke’s. Room 381. Her father is there. He’s too weak to fight back, so you shouldn’t have any problems. But I want you to go armed just in case he puts up a fight. We may need him if Liam and this little lovebird don’t cooperate with my orders.”
“Don’t you fucking dare, Amy! I swear to God, you fucking psycho! You won’t get away with this!”
She purses her lips as she pouts, “Oh, Alana. It looks as if I already have. No one knows where you are. Your savior has broken up with you. And there’s no one to help your poor daddy from my guys.” She turns her back and begins to walk away before shooting one last command to her boys, “Okay guys! Knock her out.”
“No! No! Please! No!” I cry, my hands managing to break from their grip. I sit up as I look the men in their beady black eyes, pleading with them to show me some kind of mercy. “I know you have your beef with Liam. I know you’re pissed at me, but please, don’t do this. It doesn’t have to be like this.”
“Liam isn’t our president anymore, and you’re not a member of Steel Saints either, lady. The only person that orders us around is her.” He points back to Amy as she stands in the doorway with her arms raised towards the light. She laughs loudly as she jumps down and walks quickly towards a motorcycle parked next to a black, unmarked van.
“Do it, man. Just do it.” One of the men practically begs the other. But he is just as hesitant.
I manage to shout out, “Whatever you do, don’t hurt my dad,” before I feel the first blow -- a metal serving bowl to the back of my head. There’s the warm rush of blood trickling down the nape of my neck and then another shock that vibrates through my ears and up to the top of my temples.
My eyes go back up into my head as I feel the rush of exhaustion take over me. My body is pins and needles, just like my leg when it has fallen asleep in an awkward position. I want to move my arms, to kick my legs, to defend myself some way. But I just can’t stop them.
Before I fall back into their arms, I have one second to think to myself, “So this is what dying feels like.” My vision fades to black. The sounds around me fade. And I am lost in the only safe space there is to be found.
Chapter 24
I never thought I’d step foot in a place like this, but here I am, desperately searching for some sign of Alana. The college campus is still full of students walking back and forth from building to building with backpacks and notebooks in their arms, chitter-chattering back and forth to each other without a care in the world. I grab the first one I see by the arm, dragging him towards the building. He practically shrieks in surprise. Sometimes I forget my own size -- and that I am dressed in head to toe black.
“Dude,” I say in the most normal, most even tone I can muster at this moment, “c’mon now. Calm down.” The kid, probably no older than twenty, is shivering in my grip like he’s about ready to keel over from frostbite. I let him go as he flies backward to the wall of one of the buildings. I place my hands in the air, showing him it’s all cool as I add, “Look, look, chill, okay? Chill. I’m not robbing you or anything. I just need to know where the English building is located. Can you show me?”
“Uhh…” He looks skeptical. Great. Now I get to deal with some yellow-bellied tween being suspicious of me. This was not my day. I was going to have to move faster if I was going to find out where Alana was. But to my complete surprise, he finally points to a white stone building with long pillars framing the front. “It’s over there by the math center.”
I quickly thank him, picking up his backpack that had dropped to the ground and running in a sprint towards the building. I have no clue what I am going to do when I get there. The few things I know about Alana that could help me get an idea of where she is are only that she’s an English graduate and that she lives with Jana. That’s about all I got, but at least it is something.
As soon as I step foot in the building, I feel completely out of place again. All the kids dress like Alana; button down pressed shirts and oversized black glasses. A group of them sit along the wall with their heads pressed down into massive textbooks. Others pass me without a second glance. They’re too into their talk about some class assignment a professor threw on them at the last minute.
I scan the room for signs of Jana. I doubt she’s here. By the way Alana made it sound, most graduate students took classes at night, and a few of them worked on campus during the day. But her friend was pretty distinct looking. Maybe one of these undergrads could tell me where to find her. I go on my hunch and grab an older lookin
g guy carrying a bundle of papers stacked together neatly in a brown folder.
I do my best to look distracted and nonchalant as I smack straight into him, causing the papers to fly. The man angrily hollers, but he sure does shut his mouth when he gets a look at me. “I’m so sorry man,” I say apologetically as I pick up the papers that have scattered by our feet. “I wasn’t looking where I was going. I was too busy looking for someone -- a graduate student that I know.”
The man looks down at me skeptically. I can’t say I blame him. I mean, what in the hell would I be doing with an English major, let alone a graduate student? Still, whether it’s that I look if I am capable of murdering his family (true) or that I am being so polite (also true, but more because of the circumstances than anything), he gives me a lopsided smile and bends down to help me gather the rest of the documents.
“Look, man, maybe I can help you,” he offers. “I’m an undergrad TA. I work with a lot of the graduate students in the department. Most of them have class at night, but I know where some of them live.”
What were the odds?
“Yeah, really?” I feign excitement, knowing this kid somehow turned out to be the key I was looking for. “Look, I am looking for a girl named Jana and her roommate Alana. I’ve met them a couple of times, and the last time, Alana left me something I really need to get back to her…” I panic as I try to think of something that I could realistically have found… “A -- uh -- a ring. Her -- uh -- dad, he gave it to her, and I know he’s, y’know, in the hospital, so I am sure she is worried sick about it. I just want to make sure I give it to her myself since it’s so valuable.”
“Jana? Jana Richardson?” he responds. I blink, realizing that I have literally no idea if that’s her last name. The few times that I’ve met her, she was lost in the haze that was Alana. Just another pretty face in the endless sea of women.
“Uh, yeah, I think. Maybe. I’m not sure. I didn’t get her last name. But she had black hair, tall, curvy…” I don’t want to push this, but what I notice about girls is probably the same thing this poindexter here notices too.
“Oh yeah,” he says, “yeah, that’s Jana.” He quickly adds to mark his territory, “We’ve been seeing each other for awhile.”
“Oh, that’s cool,” I say nonchalantly, “I didn’t really get to meet her. I just know her through Alana. I figured that if I could find Jana, I could get the ring back to Alana. Do you know where she lives or works? It’s kind of important that I get it to her ASAP since I’m leaving town tonight.” Even I’m surprised at how good I am getting at making this crap up.
“Yeah. I actually know where she lives. If you can wait, I am just about to go give an exam and then I can walk you over there…”
“No!” I shout uncontrollably. His eyes light up in a flash. I’m back to square one with this guy. Fuck. “Is there any way you could call Jana and have her meet me here? I don’t want to make her… uh… uncomfortable by going to her place if she’s not expecting me.”
The guy looks around the entrance to the building. No doubt, he’s going over his options. He probably can sense that I am not going to leave him alone until he either gets Jana to come to me in this public spot or gives me the address to her and Alana’s dorm room so I can do it in private. I’m giving him the best option, and he knows it. Finally, he takes the phone out of his back pocket and dials a number. I listen in as she finally picks up.
“Hey… Yeah… I know what you said bu-- No, this is about your roommate, Alana. There’s a guy here in Emerson Hall that says he knows you guys. He’s got a ring of Alana’s that was her dad’s or something. Can you meet him here ASAP?” There’s a pause before he puts a hand on the receiver and asks me, “What’s your name?”
“Liam. Liam Murphy. She’ll know who I am.” He repeats my name into the receiver and then spins away out of earshot. I rock back and forth on my toes, spying the clock above my head. It’s now been about an hour since I heard what I am sure was Alana’s scream in the background of that phone call from Amy. Every second that I waste here with him was just putting Alana more at risk to whatever that bitch’s plan is.
Finally, he turns around and says, “She’s on her way. I hope you can get that ring back to Alana.” I thank him as I find a seat in one of the leather couches near the doorway. The man stares at me for a long time before heading to the back of the hall where I assume the classrooms are tucked away.
I only wait a few minutes before I spot Jana’s familiar face bursting through the doors. As soon as she sees me, she shouts across the hall, “What the hell did you do to Alana?”
I stand and walk quickly towards her, grabbing her firmly by the arm and bringing her to a corner out of ear and eyeshot of everyone else. “What I did? I didn’t do anything! I am trying to find her.”
“What are you talking about? She isn’t with you?” Jana places a neatly manicured hand on her lips. Her dark eyes dart around, as they look more and more panicked. “I know about the breakup. She told me about that. She wanted to be left alone, so she took the ice cream truck and went to the park. If I know Alana, she was drinking. But usually, she answers the phone. I haven’t heard from her since last night.”
“Shit!” I shout. I had hoped at least she made contact with Jana, but her being completely out of the loop is a surprise. If Amy did find her, she did it against her will. I don’t want to worry Jana or even get her involved with this crap, but she has to know. “It’s my ex --”
“Amy? What the hell did she do to Alana?!”
“She called me and said that the breakup was too late. Then she said she would see me soon. Before she hung up, I heard something… a scream. I know it was Alana’s.”
“Oh my God, Liam! You don’t think that -- I mean, she’s fucking nuts but she wouldn’t --”
I don’t blame Jana. I can’t let myself think of the possibility that Amy has done more than touch Alana, let alone the alternative. But the truth is, I know she’s capable. The night of the fight where I killed a man, Amy stood in my dressing room, washing the blood off my gloves. When she was done, she threw them at me and said with a laugh, “You’ll want to keep this pair, Liam. Nothing like your first kill.” I never asked her what she meant by that. Now I just have to connect the dots.
I shake my head as I come back to Jana. I place my hands on her shoulders and look deep into her eyes. “Nothing is going to happen to Alana. I am going to find her, and everything is going to be alright. What I need you to do is go to her dad’s hospital. If I know Amy, she’s already thought about this and may be targeting him. And I want you to take this with you…” I pull out a black handgun from under my belt. “You know how to use this, right?”
Her hands shake as she takes it gently from me and places it into her backpack. “No, but I think I’ll know how to use it when I need to know.”
“There’s a safety on it, so when you get to the hospital, turn it off just in case. If you get scared or can’t do what you need to do, pretend to be Alana and get security involved. I want you to be the only person in that room with him no matter what. In the meantime, I’ll get my guys at the station involved. They can probably add some patrols or send a guy to help you out.”
She breaks free from the corner and runs off towards the doorway. As she goes, she yells back, “Find Alana, Liam!”
My feet freeze in their place as it hits me -- I’ve lost everything before. My family is gone. My childhood was never there. My career as a pro boxer is one step away from falling apart. And now, I can’t bare to lose Alana. No matter the cost, I have to save her.
If I’m going to find her, I need to start at the beginning. Jana mentioned the park, and a part of me knows exactly which one she went to -- the place where we met. I run back out to my motorcycle parked at the edge of campus and head straight there.
While I try to focus on the road, my mind drifts to something I have never done in my entire life -- prayer. I pray to God that’s she’s there, sitting drunk with a tub
of ice cream while she is bent over that laptop of hers. I pray that she’s alive and just broken. I pray that she can forgive me for what this has and will do to her. I pray that we can go back to the start, to a beginning where I don’t kidnap her or use her truck to sell my stolen goods. I pray that she can see me as the Liam Murphy that wasn’t president of a motorcycle club, the Liam that she always chose to see me as.
But she isn’t in the back of the truck. The doors are wide open with a few scattered leaves blowing inside. Her laptop is there, tossed on the ground beside her chair. The keys to the van are just a few feet from it. The ice cream supplies are thrown everywhere on the floor like landmines and booby traps. She wouldn’t have left things like this, but she wouldn’t have gone easily with Amy either. Amy had to have help to do this sort of damage.
I quickly dial up Jason knowing that he would have answers for me. “Liam? I can’t talk to you right now. You don’t know what’s going on here, but I can’t talk…”
Jason sounds completely out of breath. He murmurs into the receiver as if he’s hiding something or, more likely, hiding himself. But I can’t stand this. I need answers now, and I am not about to waste any more time. “Fuck. Don’t you dare hang up on me. I’m still your president.”
