"Hey, any news on those charges? Molloy has been all talk but I've not had the cops show up or anything like that."
Gary shook his head. "I've heard from his lawyers. They can take you to court on civil charges, without an arrest."
Not having a criminal record would be a fine thing. A record would make life very hard. But even civil charges would make me look bad. If Molloy had fought back, it wouldn't be so bad but he'd just taken it like a little bitch. The guy knew how to work things, that's for sure. He was a master manipulator.
Maybe, I needed to think happy thoughts to get me through the night. Like kittens and rainbows.
My phone rang, as though on cue. It had to be Alice. My stomach jumped. Just to hear her voice would be enough.
I glanced at the display, my fingers trembling. What would I say to her? I didn't want to screw this up.
It was my bloody mother. I almost hurled my phone against the wall. I would've done it if Buzz hadn't grabbed my hand.
"That's a brand-new phone. If you don't want it, I'll have it. No point trashing it."
I sighed. He was right.
It rang again. I'd answer it and tell her to stop calling me. I had nothing to say to that woman. I knew what she wanted. Money. Always money.
Luckily, I looked at the display before answering. This time, it really was Alice.
Alice
"I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND me calling," I said. "Shit, you must be going on stage soon. I can call back later if you like. Sorry."
"It's fine," he said. "More than fine."
Then silence. The heavy silence when the words you want to say are too big to fit into the space to say them. It wasn't the time to talk about all the issues between us but it seemed a bit callous to launch right into the reason I called.
"Good luck with the show."
"Thanks, that means a lot to me."
He sounded quiet, unsure of himself. None of the usual cockiness was there. It made me want to reach through the phone and hug him. But that wasn't only physically impossible, it would have been a big mistake. Just hearing his voice was like someone squeezing my heart. It'd be so easy to run back to him, to fall into his arms and tell him everything was okay.
Was I being unyielding?
But he'd lied to me. More than once, he'd tried to control my life. He didn't understand that I needed to make decisions for myself. If we started off like that, it'd only get worse.
"Anyway, I need to get my car. Can you send me the code for the garage?"
"Of course. Shit. Sorry. I hadn't even thought about your car being there."
"It's okay. I've managed without it for the last few days."
Much better than I'd managed without him. But I couldn't say that.
Savage gave me the code to the garage door.
"I'll give you the code to the house too. Mother normally waters the plants in the conservatory and I totally forgot about them. The housekeeper hasn't been coming in while I'm away, so hopefully they haven't all died. If you don't mind."
"Of course I don't mind. Happy to do it. Anything else you need done around the house while I'm there?"
He paused. He paused for a long time. Like a whole range of thoughts raced through his head. I could see the way his face would move while he was thinking. I knew the way his hands curled around the phone. Every nuance had been committed to my memory.
I missed him. I missed him like hell. I needed to get my head sorted out and I needed to talk to him face to face. We should be able to sort this out. It wasn't a stop sign, it was just a road block.
"Thanks again for my camera. It's perfect."
I wanted to say so much more. I wanted to know our relationship could be put back together just as easily. But I couldn't go into all that now, not with him about to go on stage.
"No problem."
"Good luck with the show," I said. Then I realized I'd already said that. "I'll pop over tomorrow and get the car."
Alice
I GOT THROUGH SAVAGE'S security gate and walked up the long driveway to the house. It was a gorgeous house but I could see why Savage wanted to sell it. It was way too big for one person. I thought it'd get a bit spooky too, being all alone in that empty place. I didn't want to think that Savage probably hadn't often been alone.
I let myself into the house. Thinking about its spookiness had made me nervy.
"Hello?" I called out into the empty place.
Stupid of me.
I walked through to the conservatory. Most of the plants were still alive, just a little droopy. I gave them all a good water. Savage really needed to get one of those automated watering systems. I guess it wasn't worth the money, if he planned to sell the place.
I'd been on edge ever since I'd walked in the door and being in that conservatory in the back of the house just made it worse. It was no wonder they had conservatories in all those murder mystery shows. Not only did these places seem as spooky as hell, they had the smell of death about them.
I heard a thud coming from somewhere. I froze, not breathing at all. Was someone in the house? I finally inhaled. I was being stupid. It was just one of those random noises old houses made.
Then, I thought I heard footsteps. Shit. This place creeped me out when it was empty. I'd water the plants as fast as I could, then get my car and get the hell out of here.
Every hair on my body stood on end. I quickly drizzled the watering can around the plants. How much water did they need anyway?
I wiped the dirt off my hands onto my jeans and got ready to flee. I'd just sat the watering can down when, fuck, the door swung open.
I froze. Who the fuck was in the house? Savage had said the cleaner didn't even come while he was on tour. I tried to scream but the noise didn't make it out of my throat.
My skin turned clammy and my pulse raced.
Then she walked in the door.
She saw me and screamed. I screamed again.
Savage's mother? What the hell was she doing here? She was supposed to be in hospital, in another city.
"What are you doing here?" she screamed at me.
"What are you doing?"
"I checked out of that boring hospital and came over to water the plants."
That didn't ring true to me. Savage would've told me if she was doing that. I remembered last time she was in the house, he'd been angry. He'd said she shouldn't even have access to the place. I wasn't sure why.
"I'm leaving now," she said, opening the door from the conservatory to outside. "I'll lock the door behind me.
" She turned and knocked one of the plants to the floor. Dirt splattered on my legs.
"Oops," she said and fumbled to get the door open.
She had a backpack on. That's why she'd knocked the plant. Vivian wasn't the sort of woman who wore a backpack. She was way too stylish. That ratty old bag didn't mesh with her image at all.
Maybe I should call Savage. I got my phone out of my jeans pockets and pressed his number.
Before I could react, she grabbed my phone. She might be an older woman but she was not getting away with that. I had naked photos of myself on that phone. And, even if I didn't, it was my phone.
I wrestled with her. She was stronger than she looked and had no qualms about scratching out at me. Bitch.
In the end, I grabbed her arm and twisted it. If she could play dirty, so could I. I could actually play dirtier, because my hands were still filthy from the plants.
The phone dropped to the floor and I scooped it up before she could get it.
"Ha."
I got Savage's number up again and this time pressed the call button before she could stop me. She slumped to the floor. Dirt covered her designer skirt and she sniffed as though holding back her tears.
Normally, I'd be all sympathy but the things Savage had said about his mother, things I'd thought were really harsh, now came back to me. He didn't trust her. Maybe he had good reason for that.
"Hello?" Savage answered.
"It'
s me. I'm at your house. Your mother is here."
"Fuck. Does she have a bag or anything with her? She's stolen things from the house before."
I handed Vivian the phone. I didn't hear what Savage said but she kept crying and apologizing. It seemed like something they'd gone through before.
I took the backpack off her and unpacked the things she'd loaded up. All random knick-knacks but they looked like the kinds of things that cost a fortune. What sort of person would raid their son's house while he was away? This woman was awful. And now I felt awful for judging Savage. I thought he'd been unnecessarily harsh to his mother. I began to understand. He'd said she was grasping and horrible. I thought he'd been carrying grudges from when he'd been young. I'd had no idea that it was an on-going issue.
I took the phone back off her.
"Do you want me to call the police?" I asked.
"No. Don't get mixed up in this. I've spoken to her and the security company will be there in the next half-hour to change the codes again. Hell, Alice, I need to come totally clean with you. The whole hospital thing was a setup. It was Gary's idea, to minimize the damage Molloy wanted to cause. You see what I'm saying?"
"So, she wasn't even sick?"
"She had a few simple procedures done. Nothing serious."
I took in a deep breath.
What the fuck had he thought he was doing? That was the stupidest plan I'd ever heard of. He'd lied to me. He'd made me feel bad for his mother. He hadn't trusted me enough to tell me any of this.
Fuck Savage and fuck his screwed-up mother too. I hung up.
Heat flooded my body, replacing the ice-cold chill. I picked up one of the plants on the table and smashed it against the wall. Vivian flinched away with a whimper. It wasn't even like I'd thrown it at her.
I'd wait for security then I'd get the fuck out here.
"It's not like it looks," she said to me.
"What? You were in someone's house without their permission and with a bag filled with their things? Like a common criminal. I don't see how I could get that wrong."
I really didn't even want to be around this woman. Security couldn't get here fast enough.
"He'd have nothing if it hadn't been for me. I got him started."
"Well, he's sure done a lot by his own efforts since then. He's bought you a house and gives you an allowance."
"A tiny allowance. People expect a certain standard from me."
"Look, lady, you don't need to justify yourself to me."
She pursed her lips but stopped talking.
"You want to ruin your son's life? You're just bat shit. I don't want to know any of it."
But when I saw Savage, we needed to talk. If we didn't get honest with each other soon, there'd be not one single thing left of us.
Savage
WE'D FINISHED UP IN this town and it was time to move on. I tossed my clothes into my case. Something hard clunked in the bottom. I pulled it out. The emerald necklace I'd bought Alice.
Sitting in the bottom of my case, forgotten and missing out on its chance to sparkle, just like me.
Hell, that was maudlin. I could write a song out of that, maybe.
The chances I had were running out fast. I could come back from most things but the things I'd done wrong just kept piling up. Maybe it would be better to walk away before this relationship could destroy me.
I folded up the t-shirts sitting on the bed, laughing at myself. Who was I kidding? There was no walking away. There was only us. I could see no other future.
My phone buzzed.
"Heard you were in town. Come out for a drink."
It was my old mate, Matty Wilde. We'd been friends since the early days. Had fought and made up and stayed in touch, unlike the other members of StarX. Maybe that's exactly what I needed. I tossed the rest of my stuff in the case, burying that necklace away from view, and put my jacket on.
"You old bastard, you look as miserable as hell," he said when I showed up at the bar.
Matty didn't mince words.
"Yeah, life's not so great right now."
"Well, if you fly across the country to punch little emo boy Molloy in the face, what do you expect?"
I sighed and sat down.
"What's that about? I know you're a hot head but that's pretty extreme even for you."
I ordered a drink. The last time I'd seen Matty, Alice had been a problem I'd wanted to get rid of.
"You ready for a long story?"
There were few people in this world I could open up to. Few I could trust. Most of them pretended to be your friends but ran to the press to spill the dirt before you'd even shut your mouth. Not Matty. I had as much dirt on Matty as you could get. We'd been through it all together.
The words came out, tumbling over each other and Matty just sat there with his mouth shut, letting me talk.
"You fucked up, that's the basic gist of it," he said when I'd finished talking.
"Yep, that's what it boils down to. I've fucked up so badly this time, I don't know how to unfuck it. I've done the things she hates most. She says she wants time but that's probably just an excuse to ease away from me."
Matty ordered another round.
"She doesn't seem the type to me. I don't know her that well but if she was going to dump you, she'd come straight out and say it."
He wasn't wrong about that. Alice might be all kinds of angry but she'd never said she wanted to leave me.
"How are things with you?" I asked Matt. "Seen much of Fiona lately?"
"Don't change the subject. We need to get you a game plan."
A game plan was a helluva lot more than I had at the moment.
"First up, you need to fix this and you can't do that long distance. Show me your schedule."
I handed him my phone.
"These three days next week, can you stretch it to four? Maybe get a flight as soon as the show ends, or first thing the next morning? Get a stand in for sound check and book a late flight back."
"But I've got media to do."
Matty rolled his eyes. "Yeah right, Mr. Responsibility. You aren't going to miss an interview to save your lost love? You've missed interviews in the past because you needed to take an urgent dump."
"It was really urgent. And I was fourteen years old."
"Get your manager to reschedule. Work your balls off the few days before and after, but get on a plane and get back to her. Talk this shit out."
With Matty laying it out like that, it seemed totally doable.
Matty could be a bit of a bastard and sometimes we fought like kids but, at that moment, I could've kissed him. Hell yeah, I'd go home. Going home would be so freaking sweet. Even if I had to spend two of those four days flying, I could spend some time with Alice.
So long as she wanted to see me. I knew better than to assume that.
"Secondly, you have to be honest with her. No hiding from the truth. And let her in, Ash. You have major trust issues but you have to let her in."
I nodded. Matty was right. He was always right. That's what made him such a bastard.
It was only when I got back to the hotel, I realized that we'd only talked about me. He'd totally evaded my questions about Fiona. Matty had been in love with her for years but was too gutless to do anything about it. He used the excuse that she was my ex to avoid making a move but anything between Fiona and I had been over years ago. Personally, I thought he needed to shit or get off the pot but he never listened to my advice, no matter how right I was.
Alice
SAVAGE CALLED TO SAY he planned to come home for a few days and he wanted to talk.
My insides clenched and I nearly dropped my phone. I wanted to tell him I wasn't ready yet. But then, when would I be ready? Since I'd found out about his mother, I'd been angry with him. Then angry with myself. And angry with the whole world. I couldn't live this way.
We needed to get things sorted out between us.
"Okay," I said.
"Okay," he replied.
/> He sounded as nervous as I felt. That was a new one. We'd been through love and hate and everything in between but we'd never actually been nervous around each other.
I just couldn't take one more lie or deception. We had to tear everything down and rebuild it with honesty. That was the only way.
I went into the kitchen and made a coffee, my hands still shaking. He'd be here in a week's time. What would I wear? How would I act?
It took all my ability to make the coffee without spilling it. Over the past few days, I'd had a long think about my life.
I wouldn't go back to work for Eleanor, no matter what. She hadn't supported me at all, not even an email to apologize. That cut out a huge part of my income. The part that I enjoyed most, too.
I'd considered the job offer from Ari but didn't want to move cities. I loved this town.
Instead, I'd called all my old contacts. Any job would be fine, no matter how small. A goth band wanted some PR shots taken. That sounded like fun. They had some great ideas about things. Then a bit of work for the local music press.
They weren't jobs that paid well but I had savings and I didn't need much to live on. I'd survived before on this kind of work. The main thing I wanted to do was build up my confidence.
The thought of working at a live show made me break out in a cold sweat but I had to do it soon or I'd never do it again. Getting back on the horse and all that. There wasn't a thing to worry about, really. I'd met the band before and they'd all seemed like nice guys. Anyway, it was a home town job. I'd do my work, then drive home. It wasn't like I had to hang around afterward.
That only left one problem in my life. The Savage problem.
I wanted him. I needed to be with him. I knew that. He hadn't said much on the phone but it sounded like he was willing to work at this. That was the first step. I'd work so hard to make this relationship last if only he would too.
I just hoped my words would be enough. He needed to listen to me, to understand what I needed. I guess I had to do the same for him.
I leaned against the kitchen bench, drinking my coffee.
This had to work out. After all, we loved each other. Was love enough though?
Rock Mayhem: 8 Complete Rock Star Romance Novels Page 25
