"But tonight, you wrote a song?"
I turned my head away. I'd hoped she wouldn't ask about that. Of course, I wanted her to hear the song. I'd written it for her. But someday, not today. Not while it was so rough and unfinished.
I nodded. "I'm expanding my horizons."
She put her arm over the back of the seat and gently caressed the back of my neck. That light touch trembled through me.
"It's a gorgeous city," I said. "I can see why you want to live here."
I hoped that would lead into her telling me more about why she was here. Her commentary on the sights was interesting, but I wasn't learning anything about her.
"Tell me more about your life here," I said. "I know almost nothing."
She finished off her wine and moved closer to me. There might be a million interesting things to see in this city, but they all blurred out of existence when her lips found mine.
Her mouth tasted of champagne, fruity and luscious. I couldn't get enough of that mouth. I kissed her softly, then I kissed her deeply. Then I took that bottom lip of hers and nibbled it gently.
She'd squirmed around in the seat so her legs entwined with mine. I rested my hand on her knee. As her kiss deepened, she moved my hand up her leg, right to the top of that thigh-high stocking.
Fay had told me to talk to Rose, to get to know her, but seriously, with her tempting me like this, there'd be no talking going on.
I'd never been one to turn down an invitation, and the way she'd slid my hand up her leg was a pretty open invitation to Pleasure Land, if I'd ever gotten one.
The muskiness of her body with that perfume now. I kissed her neck in that spot right on the side. I knew now that kissing her there would make her moan.
The driver kept driving, separated from us by a partition, thankfully. I tickled Rose's thighs so she squirmed and writhed, raising her hips off the seat.
I moved my fingers higher, connecting with the damp silkiness of her panties, and a sly smile spread over her face.
That driver could keep on driving all night.
Elijah
I STOPPED JUST SHORT of humping Rose in the back seat. I did have some shame, even if the limo had tinted windows. I think Rose had enjoyed the ride, because by the time we got back to the hotel, she was unsteady on her feet in the best possible way.
Talk. We had to talk. I needed to set my mind to that and not the other, more obvious attractions. I'd been distracted in the limo, but I'd keep my mind on the non-sex stuff now. For a short while.
I wasn't really sure where to start with this talking thing, though. The few times I'd asked Rose questions about herself, she'd shut me down. Also, talking became difficult when all I could think about was that gorgeous bottom lip of hers and how perfect it would feel clamped lightly between my teeth. I didn't even think about other body parts, just that bottom lip.
I poured her a glass of wine.
"Just the one," she said. "I've had too much already, and I have to work tomorrow. I can't neglect everything to be with you."
Again with the bittersweet smile. I needed to find out what was behind that smile.
"What time?" I asked her. I'd organize songwriting time with Damo while she was at work.
She told me her schedule. She finished early.
I grinned. "Fantastic. What do you want to do? We can do anything. If you want it, just tell me."
Hell, had I sounded too enthusiastic? I didn't want to overwhelm her. Maybe I should've planned something. Something special that would sweep her off her feet. This way, I seemed unorganized, putting it all on her.
"We could do some sightseeing after I finish work," she said.
I nodded. That sounded good. We wouldn't have much time between her finishing work and me needing to get to sound check, but a few hours would be enough.
I wasn't sure what to say after that. I never talked to women beyond the seduction stage. I never really hung out with them. The only women I spent non-sex time with were Polly and Fay, but they weren't like other women. They were musos. We talked music or tour gossip, and I was pretty sure Rose didn't want to know about Fartstard's bad habits.
Rose got up to go to the bathroom, and I did something degrading, the sort of thing I'd never have imagined doing before I met Rose. I texted Fay and asked her what to do. Firecracker would have a good laugh about that, but I was desperate.
Ask about her life. That's what Firecracker said. Hobbies? Books she's read?
"So, tell me about your life," I said when Rose returned. "What are you doing in Amsterdam?"
I wouldn't let her distract me with sex this time. I'd get answers.
"I'm working on a few things," she said.
"Really? What kind of things?"
She looked away. Maybe I shouldn't have asked. She might want to keep that private. I hated that. I didn't want any part of her life being private from me. I wanted her to share it all.
"Some writing projects. They're a bit stupid, and I'd rather not talk about them," she said. "I'm only dabbling. It's nothing serious."
She fidgeted with the strap of her handbag. That worried me. Was she about to flee? She sure didn't seem relaxed.
"Do you enjoy it?"
She seemed surprised that I'd asked that, which was strange after all her talk about doing what you enjoyed.
"Actually, yes, I do," she said with a smile.
"It can't be too stupid, then. Things that make you happy are never stupid. Hell, look at me. I play bass in one of the top bands in the world. If I'd thought playing bass was stupid, I'd never have made it."
She really smiled at that. "You're right. I just find it hard to have confidence in something that isn't proven."
I gulped. I needed to say something.
"You were a big part of that," I told her. "I'd never have had the confidence to go for it if you hadn't encouraged me."
"Really, Elijah? Because I seem to remember you as the kind of person who always went for what he wanted, no obstacle too big. Even if that made you damn annoying as a student."
I laughed. "I put on a good front, but I wasn't nearly as confident back then as I made myself out to be."
I wasn't now, either. Not when it came to Rose.
I glanced at the bed. Damn it, why hadn't I let Housekeeping come in and change the sheets? I'd wanted to keep the smell of Rose's perfume close to me, but now that I had the real thing, fresh sheets would be a fine thing indeed. I hoped she wasn't repulsed by my lack of cleanliness, but it was too late to do anything about that now.
"I'm sure anything you do will be a winner," I told her. "Your amazingness will shine through."
"It's nice of you to say that, but I'm not so sure. But, enough of my problems. I want to know more about your rock star life."
I wasn't sure I wanted to get into all of that with her. I didn't want to admit to screwing a different woman every night. There was no way to put that to make it sound respectable.
"I know your reputation, Elijah," she said with a laugh. "It's pretty common knowledge."
"True. But I want to move beyond that. It stops being fun after a while. I can't even keep track of them. A different woman every night isn't nearly as good as the right woman every night." I didn't want to say that my decision to move beyond that had happened at the exact time I met Rose.
We locked gazes for a moment. That fire burned in her eyes. Even if we skirted around the issue, we were in a room with a king-sized bed nearby, and a sexual attraction that couldn't be denied.
"So, what are we doing to do about it?" she said with a look that almost burned the clothes right off me.
"What do you suggest?" I shot her my cheekiest grin. We'd talked enough.
She stood up and unzipped her dress, then let it drop to the floor. Whoa, fast development there. Not that I was complaining. I stood up too, needing to touch her in so many places. I started with her collarbones, running my fingers into the dips above them.
I didn't just want to touch her; I
wanted to commit her body to memory. I traced from her collarbones down her belly, resisting the pressing need of my cock.
I kissed her gently, drinking in that perfume. This was different from last time. Last time, I'd thought we'd go on forever, but tonight, despite all my hopes, I knew our time might be limited. You'd think that would make me more desperate, but I wanted more than just a release. I wanted to make memories that would last a lifetime.
Elijah
THE NEXT DAY, ROSE headed off to work early.
"I will see you again?" I asked her.
"Of course," she said. She gave a little laugh and patted my cheek. "You look so worried."
"Not without reason." I smiled to soften what I'd said, but I was panicking that once she disappeared from my sight, she might never come back.
"You can meet me outside the cafe if you like. Then we won't waste time."
"Works for me."
Before she left, I kissed her again. "Call in sick and come back to bed," I whispered in her ear.
"I can't," she said, breaking away from me. "I need--I have to work. If I'm not there, there's no one who can come in on short notice to cover me."
Damn it. We had next to no time before I had to leave town, and I wanted to spend that time convincing Rose to come with me. Even with things going well between us, I wasn't sure if they were "pack up my entire life and go on tour with the band" level of good. Maybe mind-blowing sex wasn't enough for that.
After Rose left, I went to Damo's room. We worked on my song for a few hours while Polly went out shopping with Fay.
"You don't really need to write this now," Damo said. "You found her anyway."
"That's true, but I want her to know my feelings. Some things are hard to say in words."
Damo nodded. "Tell me about it."
Yeah, I guess he was the ultimate example of someone who couldn't express his feelings. I'd always found it easy to say all the sweet, sappy words when there was no meaning behind them, but I'd never realized how embarrassing it was to say them for real. The risk of rejection made it so much more intense--but that intensity was the thing that made life worthwhile.
Damo made me write everything down, all the lyrics. Then he took a pen and crossed out half of them.
"You're overloading things. It's one little song. Don't make it carry too much."
"But I have a lot of things to say," I said.
It all needed to be in there. Every single word. I couldn't condense my feelings.
"So? Write another song. You don't have to dump the lot into one song. Keep it simple. One message. One story. When you put it out there, it's not about you. It's about the people listening."
He played it through with his changes, and I tried to listen as a stranger would, a random person in the crowd. I wanted to respond the same way, without all the emotion and meaning I'd loaded into the words and melody.
With Damo's changes, it sounded completely different, yet the same. Much cleaner, much clearer. He was right. But then he usually was, damn him.
He made a few other changes, then he played it through again.
"When we get to sound check, we'll do another run-through, and you can come in on bass."
I grinned. That was much more familiar ground.
I headed out to meet Rose. The days here were going by so fast. I wanted to slow that clock down, because when we left town, I wasn't sure how Rose would react. If I never asked, I'd never know how she felt, but that didn't stop me from having heart palpitations every time I thought about asking her.
I walked to the cafe and waited outside for Rose. I didn't want to go in and disturb her while she was working, and she'd said to meet her outside. I did peer in the window, though, just to make sure she was there. Trusting didn't come easy to me now that she'd already slipped away from me once.
A kid came up and asked me for an autograph. I grinned and signed her notebook. She waltzed off down the street, grinning from ear to ear. I loved a no-drama fan.
A little while later, Rose came out, all smiles. She linked arms with me, and we took off down the street.
We explored the city while she told me stories about the places around us. Streets that looked much the same came alive as she talked about them. All those dark, solid buildings had a history. I loved the ones with the flower boxes. Bright red and white flowers seeming to glow against the dark stone.
"How long have you been here?" I asked her.
"About a year."
"That's all? Wow, you've sure learned all about the city. You could be a professional tour guide."
She laughed. "I like learning about places. There's a ghost story connected with that building over there. The usual thing, star-crossed lovers kept apart by their families. He was a poor boy; she was a rich girl. They locked the daughter in her room to keep them apart. She thought she could climb out the window, but the rope broke, or she lost her grip on the ladder or something. She plummeted to her death on the stone street below. They say she still walks at night, searching for her lover."
I shivered. "That's a tragic story."
"True. But then, it might've been just as sad if they'd married. She might not have liked being married to an inappropriate man. No one tells those stories."
I sucked in my breath, wondering how to respond to that. Something pressed against my chest, a dull but constant pressure. Was she dropping a hint? Did she think we were just as inappropriate, or was she just making conversation? No woman ever made me doubt myself like she did.
Rose continued on, telling more stories, but my mind kept going over what she'd said until I stopped myself thinking about it. I didn't want to ruin the day by dwelling on things she might've meant.
We wandered through a flower market, and I stopped, wanting to buy flowers for her. I picked up a bunch of red roses, ready to make a lame joke about "roses for Rose", but she shook her head.
"If we're going straight to the show from here, they'll die."
I hadn't thought of that. Idiot. Of course she wouldn't want to spend the concert with a bunch of roses in her arms, and there'd be nowhere to put them backstage.
"I could get them delivered," I said.
She shook her head.
Was that because she planned on leaving with me? That dull pressure in my chest eased.
"Not to worry," I said with a smile. "I'll buy you flowers later. Flowers that will stay alive."
We kept on walking.
"Maybe we should grab something to eat before heading to the arena. Are you sure you want to come to sound check? It might be boring for you."
"No, not at all. I want to see what goes on behind the scenes."
If she came to sound check, she'd hear the song, and she'd know it was for her. Even though I'd written it for her, the thought of her actually hearing it freaked me out. She might think it was the worst song ever. Then she'd do that polite smile thing. Right now, I could handle anything other than that polite smile.
There was no way out of this, though. She was going to hear the song.
Elijah
I HAD TO RACE OFF WITH Damo when I got to the arena.
"You'll be fine?" I asked Rose.
"Of course. You have to work. I'll just find a quiet corner and listen."
She smiled, and that smile made me determined to make this song as perfect as possible. I'd pour all my feelings into it, and they'd have to reach her. She'd know exactly how I felt without me saying a word.
We ran through the normal sound check material, then Damo mentioned my song. I gathered Crow and Matty.
"Look, guys, I don't want to put too much pressure on you or anything, but my entire future happiness rests on this song. It has to be totally perfect and filled with feeling, beyond everything we've ever done before."
"That's going to be a bit difficult, since we've never even heard the song before," Crow said. "I don't want to ruin your dreams, but I really can't promise that level of playing."
The dude wasn't wrong.
/> "Let's do it with just guitar and vocals," I said to Damo. "You play, and I'll sing. We can't be too high-risk here."
Damo sighed. "I thought we were just doing a run-through. If you want this played during the tour, we need to get the full band playing it."
"Yeah, but not tonight. Rose is here. She'll hear the song for the first time. It's not going to be a simple run-through."
I didn't want to plead, but if that was what it took, I would. I'd get down on my knees. The song would work so much better with just Damo and me. It wasn't like there was any urgency to add it to the setlist. Playing this song in concert was secondary to playing it for Rose.
"I don't want to discourage you or any of that," Crow said. "But you're riding a lot on this one song. I'm pretty sure that if your personality hasn't put her off, she's good."
"Thanks, buddy." I wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not.
"Just do the damn song," Damo said. "Or Polly will have my ass in a sling for going overtime with our sound check."
Polly would. She was a total stickler for that. If we went five minutes overtime, she'd barge onstage, yelling at us all.
"Pussy-whipped," I whispered to Crow.
"What?" Damo spun around.
"Nothing."
"Remember, your future happiness is riding on this song," Damo said. "You might want to be a bit grateful."
It got on my nerves when Damo pulled that shit, but I couldn't deny what he'd said. I should be grateful. He'd helped me turn this song into something. I'd learned more about songwriting in those few hours with him than if I had taken a songwriting degree at college.
We walked back to the mics, and I got out the notes Damo had made earlier with the revised lyrics. I wasn't ready. I wasn't nearly ready. I needed to work on it some more. Learn the lyrics so I wouldn't need these stupid notes.
One look at Damo told me that he'd whip my ass if I tried to delay this.
I took a deep breath to steady myself. I could do this. I had to do this.
"Rose, this song is for you," I said into the mic. "It's not much, but it's the best I've got."
Rock Mayhem: 8 Complete Rock Star Romance Novels Page 59
