But screw that shit. Polly and Jax could rehearse their hearts out. I'd hop on a train and go to the festival on my own. I hated being controlled. I'd play along with Polly for now, let her think that her bossy-boots attitude had me under control, but the minute we got offstage on Friday night, I'd hop a train to Paris and be far away from her grasp.
This plan was even more brilliant than the last one.
Fay
I LOVED BEING ONSTAGE. There was no denying it. The spotlight on me, the screams from the crowd, the adoring glances, I lapped it all up. I never understood Crow with his stage fright. I had the opposite: a fear of being anonymous.
Every time I walked out on that stage, my feet never touched the floor. I soared above it all. I was made for this. I grabbed hold of the microphone and screamed out greetings to the crowd. I wasn't sure if what I said made sense, but it didn't need to.
We thundered into our first song, Polly all darkness and me all light. With every show we'd done, my confidence had grown. I owned that stage now. Tonight, my body buzzed with the energy. The songs practically bubbled out of me. I growled and I purred and I whipped that crowd into a bunch of wild things.
This was where I came alive. In my everyday life, people might say I was too loud and too full-on, but when I got onstage, there was no "too loud" and no "too full-on". I had a personality made for performing. Damo might get away with that quiet, humble thing, but mostly the crowd wanted to live out their fantasies.
We'd almost finished when I noticed Crow watching me. I didn't think he'd ever done that before. Normally, he had enough to deal with, trying to get over his nerves before he went onstage himself.
I didn't look at him. I couldn't. Not while I sang. But I fumbled the words.
I never fumbled. My body froze for a split second. What did I do? That split second seemed like an eternity. Then I blew a kiss to the crowd and kept on singing.
They ate that up. No one cared that I messed up, not one little bit. Well, none of the audience cared. Polly sure wasn't happy. I couldn't help it, though.
I couldn't glance back over to Crow. Not if I wanted to finish our set without screwing up again.
When our set finished, Elijah grabbed me.
"Hey, Firecracker. Getting yourself in trouble without me here to keep you in line?"
"I have Polly to keep me in line," I told him. "No trouble for me."
He laughed. I looked around for Crow, but he'd disappeared. Elijah was on his own.
When I got backstage, Polly waited with her arms crossed. We were the only ones back there. Rose and Fiona had gone up to watch the Freaks play. Jax rushed into the room, grabbed a clean t-shirt out of his bag and rushed off again. He had a hot date, by the look of it.
"I'm sorry," I said, preempting her nags. "It won't happen again."
"See now why we have to rehearse more?"
I nodded, looking all meek and mild, and she grinned back. If this rock thing didn't work out, I could get a job as an actress.
"We should head back to the hotel," she said.
"Now? With the Freaks still onstage?" We always waited for them to finish.
"Yeah, now."
I wanted to protest, then I remembered that I had to act all goody-two-shoes. "What about Damo? You'll miss him out there."
"I've seen him plenty," she said.
I nodded. I could miss the Freaks playing this once. I had to think of my end game.
"Okay. I'm pretty starved. Can we go get something to eat on the way?"
She was really grinning now, thinking she'd won. "Sure thing. Burgers?"
I groaned. "Why is it always burgers?"
"Because that's what's open late at night. We could go kebabs? Pizza?"
"Whatever you like."
I checked myself in the mirror. Fiona's makeup really did suit me. It seemed a shame to waste it on a cheap burger joint.
"Okay, let's go," Polly said.
We ended up getting pizza and having a fun night. I didn't even try to see Crow when they came back to the hotel. I could hear them talking, but I stayed in my room, planning my escape.
I had one major obstacle to overcome. I couldn't turn up at the festival and hope to see Crow. There'd be a million girls trying to get into the backstage area, and I'd just be one of them. Security wouldn't know who I was. I had to get a pass.
The next morning, I got Fartstard alone.
"Can you get me an access pass for the festival?" I asked him.
He scratched his head. "I can, but I don't know if I should. I thought you guys were staying here."
I nodded, then shot him my brightest smile. "Just in case, you know. Polly might change her mind at the last minute, and I want to be prepared. Come on, you're the man. You're the one who can make it happen."
"Sure," he said.
Awesome. With that sorted, the rest of my plan would fall into place. Good old Fartstard.
After the show that night, everyone wanted to go to a bar.
"I think I want an early night," I said.
If I went out drinking, Polly would hover over me all night. It'd be a total pain in the butt with her doing that, and rather than waste money having a shit time, I'd have a decent sleep.
"Okay, I'll go back too," she said.
I gave her a look. "You don't have to do that," I said.
She glared back.
"Seriously," I said. "I plan on sleeping. I'm not that comfortable around some of the crew at the moment, with all the gossip about me, and you shouldn't miss out on time with Damo because of me. I'll behave. Pinky promise."
I held out my pinky finger like I used to when we were kids. Polly laughed and hooked fingers with me.
"You'd better behave. Look at this," she said, holding out a strand of her hair to me. "You're turning me gray! Premature aging."
"Actually, Polly, I think that's because you're old. I mean, you're nearly thirty."
She slapped my arm. "I'm nowhere near thirty."
The two of us giggled. It was much nicer being on tour without the strain. Even if I was only pretending to make her happy, I was much more relaxed.
I got back to the hotel and started watching a movie on my tablet, but I fell asleep before it'd barely even started. I really had been more tired than I thought.
I didn't know how long I'd slept, but a banging woke me up. Damn crew had obviously gotten back drunk and were making a racket in the hallway. I put my pillow over my head. They'd collapse in a drunken heap soon.
The banging didn't stop. It was on my door. Hells. What was going on?
I wasn't sure I wanted to open the door in case one of those sleazy roadies had the wrong idea.
Unless it was Crow.
That had to be it. He'd waited until the others were drunk and had come back so we could be alone. A smile crept over my face as I opened the door.
Polly pushed past me into my room.
My heart sank. Not only was she not Crow, but she was red-faced and angry.
"What the fuck do you think you're playing at?" she screamed.
"Sleeping," I answered. "Well, I was until you woke me up."
"You asked Fartstard to get you a laminate for the festival? I can't trust you for a minute."
My stomach dropped to the ground. This would not go well for me. I had no excuse I could give. But Fartstard had betrayed me.
"That bastard. He told you?"
I'd kill him. He'd promised he'd get it for me, but he'd gone running behind my back to Polly. I'd never trust him again.
"You aren't a child, Fay. Stop playing these stupid games." Her hands balled up into fists.
"Yes, Polly, I'm not a child, so stop treating me like one. If I want to go to the festival, I should be allowed to go." I put my hands on my hips.
"You are not going to that festival, and that's the end of it. I don't want to kick you out of the group, but I'll send you home to your mother if I have to."
That was the threat I'd hoped never to hear. I wanted to
be on this tour. I wanted it more than anything, almost. But did I want it more than I wanted Crow? I guessed if I got kicked off the tour, I'd have no music career and no him. I'd lose everything.
Polly swanned out of my room, trying to slam the door behind her. It didn't slam, and I walked over and locked it. My heart had become heavy. I'd be kicked out, my career over before it had even started.
As I snibbed the door, something hit me. If Polly kicked me off the tour, she'd be screwed too. She could get me in at the last minute to fill in for Miles because I knew their songs. But there was no one she could get to fill in for me. They'd be off the tour themselves. Polly would never do that.
I had the upper hand here, but I wouldn't show that too soon.
Fay
I LEANED MY BASS AGAINST the amp in the dingy rehearsal room.
"Haven't we rehearsed enough?" I asked. "I'm not a machine. My voice is hoarse, and my fingers are falling off."
Polly huffed. She'd have us playing all night if she could.
"I've got no drumming left in me, anyway," Jax said.
Polly checked her watch. "I guess we should head back to the hotel for some rest."
She couldn't fool me. I knew why she checked the time, and it had nothing to do with getting some rest. She wanted to make sure that the last train for Paris had left the station. I'd be stuck here until morning. Then she'd have me back at rehearsal first thing.
That plan was so transparent.
"I guess we can call it a day," she said.
The rehearsal had been a wash, anyway. With Polly and me at each other's throats, the songs didn't come together. We could play the same song a thousand times, but without that connection, it would always sound like shit. If Polly wanted us tighter, she could loosen the reins a little.
Crow would be at the festival now. Actually, the festival would've finished for the day and they'd be at their hotel. I missed him. I'd barely seen him for the last few days--not since that morning. I blushed. Just thinking about that morning made my body heat up. I didn't want Polly seeing those thoughts written on my face, so I tried to think of other things. Safe things.
But, hell, those thoughts kept creeping back. The way he'd kissed me. The way he'd looked at me. He'd wanted to devour me, and I sure wanted to be devoured. He could do all the devouring he liked.
"Okay, we'll be back bright and early," Polly said.
"Why don't we just put down our coats and curl up on this shitty, prickly carpet?" I said. "That'll save time, and we'd be ready to start when we wake up."
Polly sneered at me.
I followed her out of the studio, and we got an Uber back to the hotel.
"Want to grab something to eat?" she asked.
"I'm good," I told her.
I wanted to get to my room and away from her, even if it meant going hungry. She'd been a pain in the butt ever since Fartstard had told her about me wanting the pass.
But when I got back to my room, I couldn't sleep. I could only think of Crow. If I had a day with him, a day without Polly around, I was sure things would work out between us.
I'd been an idiot relying on Fartstard. I should've asked Elijah. I could trust him.
Since I couldn't sleep, I paced my room. Then I got online and checked out when the first train ran in the morning. But if had that information, so did Polly. She'd make sure I couldn't catch it. Damn it. If I had a car, I could drive to the festival. I had no idea how to get there, but that was what GPS was for.
Or I could hitchhike.
I shook my head. Hitchhiking would be too dangerous, especially at this time of night. I should just go back to sleep. I'd see Crow on Tuesday. But on Tuesday, Polly would probably redouble her efforts to keep us apart.
Hitching a ride was the only way. Hitchhiking in Europe was a lot more accepted than it was at home. I'd totally be able to do it. If I left now, I'd be at the festival grounds bright and early.
I threw some things into a bag. I didn't need much for one night. Some makeup and a change of underwear.
I had to get out of the hotel without Polly seeing me, but we'd been back from rehearsal for a few hours, and she wouldn't be watching me so closely with the Freaks out of town. If she did spot me, I could say I was going out to get something to eat. That would totally work.
I quietly closed the hotel room door behind me and crept to the elevator. That part had been easy, but what next? I couldn't just stick my thumb out to get a ride in the middle of the city.
I got out my phone and checked out a map of the city. I could get an Uber to the highway and go from there.
Polly would kill me; I knew that. And I could understand things from her point of view. But from her point of view, I was still twelve years old, with pigtails and freckles. She'd never see me as older than that. I had to prove myself, and this was the way to do it. If I stayed in Brussels, she'd have won.
I got to the highway without a problem.
"Sure this is the right place?" the Uber driver asked as he pulled over.
"Yep. I'm going to hitch a ride to Paris."
The driver shook his head. "Be careful."
I didn't really grasp the "middle of nowhere" concept until the Uber took off, leaving me there alone. I sure as hell hadn't considered that this would be a spooky-as-hell industrial area. Some sickly-looking trees grew along the side of the road, and on the other side of them was a bunch of graffiti-covered warehouses.
Maybe, if I was quick, that Uber would still be in the area. Because otherwise it'd take forever for a driver to get out here, and I might be dead by then.
There wasn't much traffic on the highway. I stood by the side of the road, debating whether I should turn back while I still could. The thought of being safe and warm in my hotel bed appealed to me a lot, but Crow appealed more.
A car came toward me. What kind of people would be driving at this time of night? Weirdos, that's who.
I put out my thumb, just a little. Part of me panicked. They might be ax murderers or something worse. Did I really want to get in a car with strangers? But I'd committed myself now. I was here, on this highway. The sun would be up in an hour.
This was the stupidest idea I'd ever had. It had seemed to make sense back at the hotel, but now that I was out here on the side of the highway, in the dark and the cold, I wanted to run back to bed.
No, that wasn't an option. If I wanted Crow, I needed the chance to convince him. I couldn't wait until Tuesday. I had to see him now.
Still, going back to the hotel...
Before I could keep arguing with myself, a car pulled over on the verge of the road. My heart pounded. Did I want to get in or not? I walked slowly toward it, a big part of me wanting to run.
I could run. It was an option. If I went slow enough, maybe the car would take off, and the decision would be made for me.
Then the driver's door opened. A girl around my age jumped out.
"Do you want a lift or not?"
I guessed I did. She looked safe, and that was a definite sign that this was the right thing to do.
Fay
CARRIE, THE DRIVER, dropped me off at the hotel. I sat in the foyer, looking all scruffy and dirty. The staff kept side-eying me, but no one said anything. I got out my phone and messaged Crow.
I'm here. I'm in the lobby.
There was nothing to do but wait. I'd thought of not letting him know. I'd be able to get an access pass for the concert from Elijah, and I could just appear backstage, but that idea had so much potential for disaster. I also thought about messaging Polly, but I wanted to talk to Crow first. Also, I didn't want everyone in the lobby to hear her scream at me over the phone.
I found a sofa to sit on while I waited. I wished I'd gotten something to eat first. My stomach rumbled. I needed some kind of nourishment.
"What are you doing here?"
I stared up at Crow. He wasn't smiling.
"I needed to see you. I needed to see you without Polly interfering."
"All hell is going to break loose. You know that. She'll freak out, thinking you could be dead in a ditch somewhere. You need to tell her, and then head back on the next train."
I pouted. He could be more pleased to see me.
"Can I at least have a shower? I'm all stinky. And you know, since I'm already here, it wouldn't hurt to go to the festival. It's not like I'd get back in time to rehearse, anyway."
He scratched his head. "I'm not sure. Ring Polly and see what she says. I don't want any trouble."
I grinned. There wasn't much Polly could do while I was this far away, and I'd get to be naked in Crow's room. That would put plenty of temptation in his way.
We went up to his room. When I had some privacy, I called Polly.
She sighed when she answered the phone. At least she wasn't yelling. "I guess I know where you are," she said.
"You'd guess right." I didn't want to sound too happy in case it got her mad.
"Fay, you are the biggest idiot. I have no idea how you got there, but if you do anything like that again, I'll throttle you. You could've died."
"Well, I didn't. I'm fine."
"Let me talk to Crow," she said.
I didn't want to, but I had no choice. I handed him the phone. He turned his back to me so I couldn't see his face. All I heard was a few mumbles from him.
When he turned back, I peeled my t-shirt off.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Having a shower, like we agreed."
He grabbed his bag out of the wardrobe and slung it over his shoulder.
"Wait... What? Where are you going?" I asked him. He wasn't just going out for food, because he had all his stuff.
"Damo's room. You can stay for the festival, but you'll be staying here alone."
Before I could protest, he walked out of the room. This was not part of my plan. What had happened to those passionate kisses? The way he stared at me until my body burned? I didn't like this new iciness.
Still, I could stay the night. He might be all business now, but later tonight, he'd feel differently. I just had to bide my time. I jumped in the shower, then dressed and redid my makeup. I was more than ready for this festival.
Rock Mayhem: 8 Complete Rock Star Romance Novels Page 65
