He placed his thumb and forefinger between his eyes, and I could see his Adam’s apple as he gulped. “I knew you were mad and with good reason. But I was ready to explain. I wanted to so badly and it felt like it was the right time. Well, if you’d give me the time of day, of course.” Carter’s laugh went right through me in the most delightful way. “So I took matters into my own hands, and here I am.”
Letting out a huge sigh of relief, I couldn’t believe the emotions and how much had changed. Any anger or resentment was melting away. “I’m glad, ah, I let you speak.”
Carter laughed loudly. “Yeah, when did you get to be such a stubborn ass?”
I shrugged my shoulders and smirked at him. “Takes one to know one, I guess.”
“Oh, being a cheeky shit to me! That I can get on board with, my friend.” He stood up suddenly. “I’m glad we got this all sorted out. I’m meeting Marshall and Stuart later and”—he glanced at me, then looked away again—“then I go to New York tomorrow.”
I should really put him out of his misery since I was going to meet them and Damien later, too, but I couldn’t resist the urge to see him squirm. Not in an entirely mean way, well, maybe a little bit. There was a new dynamic between us now. This morning I never saw it unfolding this way and that we could be joking with each other again or acting like friends even.
“You could, I can ask them … do you wanna come?”
Then I stood up and decided to put him out of his suffering. “I’m already going too. I can’t wait to see Damien.”
He pulled playfully at my sweatshirt. “You cheeky shit.” Then he chased me around the couch and ran after me down the hall to my bedroom. I got in the door just before him.
I moved away from the door, letting him gain access. He looked at me with a lust-filled gaze as he took large strides towards me. My cock twitched at his approach. Before I knew what was happening, he’d pulled down my pants and bent down in front of me, letting his tongue lick the full length of the underside of my cock.
I let out a moan that was foreign even to my own ears and clenched my asscheeks together as I took a step back and felt the back of my knees hit the bed. I made sure to stay sitting with my arms leaning back on the bed and splayed my legs further apart.
Licking at the tip, he then blew softly on it and a shiver ran through me.
He grabbed my asscheeks and then engulfed my cock in his mouth. The way he took me all in was putting me on another planet or something. I’d had my fair share of blowjobs, but nothing like this.
Falling back, a gasp left me when he pulled off. “No!” came out, eliciting a visceral reaction. I clutched the covers and let my eyes fall closed. Just letting myself feel and come alive.
Through shallow breathing, he placed two of his fingers to my lips. “Suck.” And I did exactly as he ordered. I was under his spell.
Then he pushed them into my ass. It was rough and raw and I loved it. As I squeezed around them, he bit my thigh, making my cock bounce towards my abs.
“Oh yes, fuck, I love that I make you react this way, Jamie.” He grabbed my cock and squeezed.
“No.” I kicked my legs like a petulant toddler.
“Soon. Soon.” His magic hands caressed every part of my legs, from my feet up to nearly my groin.
“Carter, you bastard.” Then I put my knuckle in my mouth.
That must have done something for him because he stood up and knocked my hand way. “No, let it all out. This will be hot as fuck.”
He still had hold of me but also took his own throbbing cock in his other hand. He kneeled beside me and moved both hands at once in a frantic rhythm. My body convulsed as a tingle made its way up my spine.
Moments later, I opened my eyes to witness Carter at the end of his own orgasm. The way his muscles moved and how he groaned in short chants was out of this world.
Then our mixed come was sprayed all over my chest and abs and the bed. Hot damn. For no penetration with a dick that was one of the hottest things I’d ever experienced. “Holy. Fuck.”
“I concur,” he said, breathlessly.
Eventually we had to get showered and cleaned up. Again.
We arrived at The Queen of Hearts together, just after 8:00 p.m. We’d hung out earlier and while it was really nice, not awkward or filled with avoidance tactics, I actually found it a bit strange. I was scared and happy and anxious all rolled into one. These things weren’t me anymore and hadn’t been in a long time. Here I was, wondering what Carter was thinking. Did he only want to be friends? Should we be more? Could we be with our past. We didn’t really know each other anymore, did we? And yet, deep down inside, I felt happy.
Sure, I was the life of the party and a jokester for the most part, especially in front of Stuart and my friends. I’d never thought I’d get to have a deep connection with someone, or even want to after Carter had left me all those years ago. I’d given up on it. Besides, no one had piqued my interest anyway.
I smiled as we walked in, Carter by my side. We hadn’t told Stuart or anyone. As far as they knew, we were still pissed at each other for whatever reason.
There was applause as we headed over to where they were sitting, which had us both laughing. I didn’t know exactly what we’d say. We hadn’t really discussed it.
Carter saved the day—or swooped in anyway. “Yes, yes guys, you’ll be pleased to know that we’ve put our differences aside and are on speaking terms—for your sanity … and our own.”
I wasn’t exactly sure how to feel; it was almost like he was brushing me off. My face dropped but I quickly recovered. There was so much running around in my brain, like a hamster on his wheel. We were friends through mutual acquaintances and we’d cleared the air again. Sure, the sex was the hottest thing ever, but he obviously didn’t want more. Whatever “more” even meant. We both had careers that took us around the world now. From what Marshall alluded to, he had a suitor in every airport. I was the same. Did I not give Stuart and Marshall a hard enough time about being homebodies and only wanting to spend time together doing boring things on their own?
I didn’t look too closely at the fact that it could easily have been due to once having had Carter and losing him. Then, not letting anyone get too close in case they hurt me. Deflection tactics at their finest.
Damien came over then. Thank god. I hugged him and we did our little hip bounce and snap of our fingers. He gave me a look that said he knew something had happened and then glanced at Carter. Luckily Carter was too busy talking to Marshall.
Damien pulled me away and told Stuart we’d be right back. I really had no choice though. I made a “hands in the air” gesture to Stuart as I got pulled along to his changeroom.
With no preamble he said, “He fucked you, didn’t you?”
Taken by surprise, I must have turned ten shades of pink. I looked anywhere but at him. What should I say? I thought frantically. My eyes darted from side to side. I could only shake my head, meekly.
Damien took my chin and lifted my head up to face his own.
“W-we better get back. Everyone is waiting,” I stuttered.
“Well, they can damn well wait. Tell me what happened and you can go.”
“I, ah, it was … I fucked him.” I bit my lip, remembering what it was like to have him under me, to release all that anger—but also, on the flip side, to have Carter back again. There were so many emotions—but to feel his body, hear the noises he made—even if it was in a moment of letting my anger out, it was also a sign of sheer trust. He knew I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him or that he didn’t want. Carter let me have my outlet, which I realized now, I needed. But I would never take advantage.
I shook my head. Too many thoughts for this time of night. I could over analyze later. No doubt I’d become like Marshall or Stuart in no time. Ah, love.
Fuck, it wasn’t love. Their love—that’s what I meant. I nodded as if I needed to agree with myself.
“And? Care to elaborate?”
“We
cleared the air. It was insanely hot and what I needed—we needed. Are you happy now, mother hen? I can’t even believe I told you that.” I motioned as if zipping his lips. “Do not share with anyone. It’s too weird. Stuart’s my, you know, friend and roommate, and Marshall is Carter’s friend.” I waved my hands around. “Etcetera. Etcetera.”
“Jamieson, that etcetera of yours is the biggest can of worms I’ve heard of in a long time.”
I laughed as we walked back out. He nudged me. “Don’t look now, but Carter is watching your every move. You love him, don’t you?”—he made air quotes at the last few words—“after the clearing of the air.”
“No. Yes. I don’t know. It’s too much to take in right now. And he’s made it clear we’re just friends. Whatever I think, he isn’t on the same page. So I’ll accept being good friends again.”
“Friends do not act how he’s acting, I’m just saying.”
I nudged his hips again. “Let’s get drinks and enjoy the night.”
I slipped into the booth beside Stuart with my drink. “Hey, thanks about before,” I whispered.
Marshall piped up then. “Now guys, glad to see you’ve kissed and made up. When is it not too soon to make jokes and be sarcastic?”
“Marshall, are you ever going to let us live this down?” I asked. “I want the broody, silent Marshall back,” I mumbled. “Remember, you owe me one?”
“Wait, I do, why?” He took a sip of his drink.
“I kept your secret about you and Stuart to myself.” I leaned in to speak as the music got louder and glanced at Carter. “I get to make the jokes to him first, then we’ll let you guys know when it’s your turn.”
Marshall lifted his glass, smiling gleefully. “Cheers.” Then he leaned in to kiss Stuart, a bit too romantically if you asked me. Fuck them and their lovey-dovey shit. No, I was happy for them, but fuck, why were they making me want some version of that too?
I decided I needed to let off some steam. I slammed my glass on the table. “I’m gonna go dance. Who’s joining me?” The response I got was less than positive. It was as if I’d asked who wanted to walk across a room scattered with thumb tacks. Facing up.
Just as I pushed up from the table to walk to the bar, Carter grabbed my wrist. Turning towards him, I tried not to lean into his touch. “Ah, I’m going in a minute here since I have an early morning. So … uh, yeah, just don’t do anything stupid.”
I tried not to growl out some shit about protecting me. We had just gotten back to talking terms and loosening the tension from before. “I’ll try not to,” I said, and he let go.
Damien had left to get changed. It was 90s Night or something, so for now, they were playing music and there was dancing. I got to the bar and ordered two shots. I downed them and went onto the busy dancefloor area. Tables had been moved to the side. As the music pulsed through me, I realized I should eat something, but that thought quickly passed as a beautiful, naked torso walked by. Trying not to get too close, I moved to the music. As sweating bodies ground against one another, my body relaxed as I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy it all.
The music pounded and went through me. Hot men were dancing around me and I took in the view. Suddenly it wasn’t them in front of me, and I was envisioning Carter: his naked body earlier, thrusting into him, the feel, the smell. I shook my head and felt dizzy. I found something to hold on to, which seemed to be a body.
I must have been seeing double, and I also heard growling. And not the sexy kind. It was as though I was an entity outside my own body and I wasn’t entirely sure what was happening. I grasped again and got a slap across my face. I knew that I needed to run, yet my legs were failing me.
Then there were arms lifting me at my armpits and dragging me away. I blinked a few times. Carter. What was he doing? He’d already left. “Don’t need your protection, Carter,” I blurted, trying to be heard over the music—a lost cause. He replied, but I didn’t quite hear the answer, and then I drifted off to sleep. Or the world’s worst power nap.
12
CARTER
I was about to leave for the night since I had an early start when I took another glance at Jamieson dancing. The way his body moved was intoxicating. The boy I had once known had grown up to be so much more. I purposely hadn’t looked overly interested in dancing because I knew I’d want a repeat of us “making up,” and I wasn’t doing that in some godawful club bathroom. He deserved more than that.
As I glanced over, I could see some sort of commotion, and without any thinking, I was over there shoving some big dude off to the side as I grabbed Jamie. I pulled him to the edge of the dance floor and stroked his face, screaming incessantly for space and some water.
The rest of it was a blur and here I was back at his place. I’d told Marshall and Stuart I’d take care of him. It was so different from our time spent here earlier. Now it was the middle of the night, or early morning, depending how you looked at it, and I had a decision to make. Would I be opening a can of worms by staying with him and taking care of him?
Just then he mumbled, as if reading my thoughts. “Go, don’t need you to protect me anymore.” I froze from his words as I sat by his bed. What did he mean by anymore? Is that how he’d seen me back then, as his protector? I always thought of him as the strong one. The one that was always there for me.
Sighing, I sent a text to Brenna to let her know I had an emergency of sorts and asked if I could postpone New York by one day. That wouldn’t be a big deal.
I admired his sleeping form as I waited for her to reply. His beautiful cheekbones. He looked so at ease. I didn’t want to envision the scenario from earlier if I hadn’t been there. No one was even helping. The big guy looked ready to do something terrible and everyone continued dancing, grinding, and making out.
I didn’t know where we were—are with our relationship. He’d been so upset with me and with good reason, I realized, but I didn’t know what that meant for the future. Why was I even dwelling on this? He meant a lot to me. I’d kept the chain and pendant from him, for god’s sake. But maybe I was holding on to a vision of him or something, like a ghost. Putting something on a pedestal that I could never have.
Before the other week when he’d appeared back in my life, I had no plans for a future anything really. Hookups and that was it. There was no one special who occupied my thoughts; I wasn’t lonely for it or felt negatively about it. I had an amazing career in which I had to focus, though not as much as Marshall, I don’t think anyone did. I’d started in the business later than him and I hadn’t had it engrained as a part of the fabric of my life like he did.
I had never postponed or missed anything. For anyone. I dozed off in a myriad of thoughts and internal ramblings.
“Carter,” I heard him mumble. Jumping up, I immediately felt his forehead. He’d been dehydrated and would need lots of rest and liquids. It didn’t feel too hot. I sat beside him on the bed and got the glass of water off the nightstand.
His eyes opened, bleary. After he took a sip, he murmured a thank you. “Carter, don’t you have to be on your flight in like two hours? You better get going.”
“I postponed it until tomorrow so I can look after you.” Even in my own head, that sounded ridiculous and boyfriend-y.
His eyes scrunched together as if he was deciding what tactic to take with me. I did remember that he was the only one back then who didn’t take any shit from me, especially when I was training for a track meet.
I tried not to get distracted by Jamie as I did my sit ups. Coach had given me strict instructions to do one hundred each morning. We were at a city track meet, and since Jamie had signed on to keep a record of each team member’s scores, he got to come along with us this time. We’d asked for a room together although there was a chaperone a few doors down.
As I sat up again, I tried to kiss his nose.
He backed up. “No no no! You have work to do.” The little smile he gave afterwards told me he was just teasing me.
�
�Fine, fine. Sixty-seven, sixty-eight …”
“No, you’re only at fifty-seven.” He brushed my abs, pushing my shirt up higher on my chest and I saw his eyes get wider as he checked me out.
Abruptly I pulled the shirt down. “You said it’s all work, no play, Jamie.” I pointed a finger at him. “So that means for both of us.”
He let out a little huff and then straightened his shoulders. “That’s fine. Keep going. I’m counting.”
Around eighty, I could barely get up. “Okay, let’s just say I did them. I’m done.” I threw my arm across my sweaty face.
“No, you will finish. I’ll even make it enticing for you. Finish and then you get a blow job in the shower before we go for the day.”
You’d never seen me finish on a rush of adrenaline so quickly.
I chuckled and watched him under a hooded gaze.
“Ah, what’s so funny? And you can go. Really. Stuart’ll come if he’s not busy,” he added, seemingly as an afterthought. He pulled the duvet up further on his body. He looked everywhere but at me, like a cat planning an escape route.
“Nothing. It’s too late now, I’m not going. It’s all been changed. Do you want something to eat?”
“Wait.” Jamie grabbed my wrist. “Can you tell me what happened? I just remember you said you were going to have an early night.” He bit his lip and I wondered what was going through his mind.
I realized I’d have to tread carefully, what with his comment in his sleep and him telling me to leave now. I cleared my throat. “Ah, well I hadn’t quite gone, and then you, I guess—I didn’t see all of it—got dizzy and dehydrated. When you fell over, you tried to grab on to some guy and he was not impressed at all.” I shrugged my shoulders as if it was nothing. “So I just made sure you had space and got you water and told everyone to fuck off, basically.”
Carter (Mayfair Model Series Book 2) Page 9
