by Brandi Evans
Something was wrong.
Kat hadn't spoken to him the entire way home, at least not more than a few two-word answers to his queries, so he'd given up. There'd only been so much he could do while driving, but with each step up his apartment stairs, he felt the countdown to confrontation ticking away. When they got inside, she'd either lay into him, or he'd pry out whatever was bothering her.
The second he shut the front door behind them and locked it, she whirled on him, full of venom and accusation. "When the fuck were you going to tell me Detective Valentine was murdered?"
Well, shit.
Carefully, giving himself something to do while his brain rummaged for a response, he set his keys in the misshapen clay bowl his niece had made for him on his last birthday.
Sarge even seemed to know the shit was about to hit the fan and left them alone.
"I didn't want to worry you," Maddox finally said. It was lame but true.
"So, you'd just what? Would rather I be completely in the dark?"
"Kat, I—"
"Carter told Raven. From the beginning, she knew, but not me. I was in the dark. Why? Did you not trust me enough to handle it? Was that it? Or did you not think I was strong enough to handle that kind of news?"
Shit, shit, shit. He had to get his next words right, or else he'd end up digging himself deeper than he already was. "It's not that I didn't trust you because I do trust you."
"Then what?"
"I thought I was protecting you."
"From what? My own fucked up head?"
"Yes."
She took a step back as if he'd punched her in the gut.
"Shit, Kat, that came out wrong," he said quickly, moving forward to take her hand.
She stepped away from him.
He mentally kicked himself. He was not only handling this wrong, but he was pretty sure he'd dealt with every damn thing wrong since he'd spotted her in that restaurant, sitting like a frightened little mouse across from a rabid jackal.
He double-fisted his hands into his hair, pulled, and willed his brain to function correctly. "I was thinking about your nightmares," he confessed. "Every time you wake me up screaming is pure agony. It tears me in two, Kat, but slowly, they've lessened. They've become nothing more than little whimpers I could always soothe by pulling you close. No more screaming, no more terrifying dreams, no more listening to all the ways Harris kept killing me in front of you. No more terror on your face or tears in your eyes as you told me about the dreams."
A dawning realization bloomed in her eyes. It didn't lessen her anger, just colored her expression into understanding, and when he tried to take her hand again, she didn't back away.
"I should have told you, Kat. I know that. I was just so afraid of making your nightmares come back. I was afraid this would trigger them again, and I didn't want to do that to you."
With a cobweb-soft touch, she drew a knuckle along the bottom of his right eye, where he'd once sported a bruise from where she'd elbowed him while in the throes of one of those nightmares.
"It doesn't make what you did right, but I understand why you did it." She wasn't shouting anymore. He took that as another good sign.
"It wasn't because I didn't think you were strong enough. I didn't think I was strong enough to handle being the one who caused you to go through that kind of pain again."
"You're not responsible for things beyond your control."
He rested his forehead to hers. "Using my own words against me. That's harsh."
"Yeah, well. I'm still mad at you." But she slipped her arms around his waist and snuggled close.
"We're in this together, Kat. I'll do better about that, I promise."
"I'd rather we were together in Fiji."
"Me, too, love. Me, too." He squeezed her to him, taking a moment to just be there with her. "Hey, you yelled at me," he said after a while. "Did you realize?"
She pulled back and looked at him, but he didn't note apprehension on her face, only amusement. "I did, didn't I? And you didn't hit me."
"Nope. I didn't."
She was no longer the meek mouse who'd cried at the thought of having friends. No, the woman before him was strong. He needed to remember that and start treating her like she was any other woman.
Like any other sub.
Sarge head-butted Maddox's leg, drawing his attention and making him laugh. Sarge had his food bowl in his mouth and looked longingly up at them.
"Silly boy," she said, dropping to a knee and scrubbing a hand over his head as she took the bowl. "Ya know, I don't think he could have told us he was hungry more effectively if he'd actually said, 'Please feed me, humans.'"
"I think you're right." He took the bowl from Kat and then motioned toward the kitchen. "Come on, old man. Let's get you some dinner."
Kat followed. "While you feed him, I'll put something together for us. I'm sure there're enough leftovers in the fridge that we won't starve."
He gave Sarge two scoops of kibble and then turned to Kat. She was watching him, a challenge in her eyes, but for the life of him, he couldn't imagine what the challenge was for.
"Leftovers are fine," he said finally.
She smiled, her "challenging" expression softening. Whatever he'd said had been the right thing.
"Or," he continued, hoping he wouldn't screw up whatever "right thing" he'd said, "we could save the leftovers for tomorrow, and tonight, I can treat you to dinner at Ravenous. Then afterward, we can go to Restrained Fantasies. You've shown me you're plenty strong enough for a scene in the club proper. What do you say, kitten?"
Her lips curled into a smile that radiated into her eyes. "I like your idea even better, Sir."
Chapter 20
She finally got to wear the purple dress.
Dinner at Ravenous had been fantastic. The meal had been a no-silverware experience—which had been by design—so she and Maddox had had to feed each other. The chocolate fondue fountain had been fantastic, especially since Sir kept purposely getting chocolate on her lips so he could suckle it off. Did they have a fondue fountain inside the club itself? Well, she was about to find out.
She stood beside Sir, her hand in his, and stared at the gilded doors separating the club proper from everything else. After dinner, she'd changed into the same outfit she'd bought her first night at Restrained Fantasies, but tonight, Sir wouldn't be the only Dom to see her in it.
She'd wanted to go in there the last time they'd been here, but now that she stood on the precipice, nerves wiggled in her stomach.
She forced out an unsteady laugh. "I want to go in there with you, so why am I suddenly hesitating?"
He turned her so that they faced each other and wrapped his arms around her middle. "We don't have to. I just know you wanted to. I also know you're ready, kitten. You're strong and brave and beyond ready for whatever happens in there. That said, I'm not opposed to having you all to myself another night."
God, he knew exactly what to say.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and molded herself against him, her cheek coming to rest on his. "Oh, I definitely want to go in there. I think I just needed to hear you say I was strong enough again."
"You're strong enough, kitten." He kissed the top of her head. "What's your safe word?"
"Blue, Sir."
"And the club's safe word?"
"Red." Smiling, she pulled back to face him. "Thank you for that, Sir. I hadn't forgotten them or anything, but just hearing you ask, helps put me at ease."
"That's what a good Dom does." He gave her a sweet, lingering kiss before saying, "Let's go. I have plans for you tonight."
"I'm with you, Sir." She returned her hand to his, and he pulled open the club's gilded door.
Walking inside was like coming home after a long journey.
Aesthetically, Ravenous and Restrained Fantasies had similar feels. Both spaces sported deep, lush palettes with lots of dark reds balanced by creams. Wrought-iron chandeliers and chains hung from the ceiling. Atta
ched to the chains were circular, velvet-covered platforms.
What she estimated were two or three dozen platforms hung scattered throughout the room. On the platform to her immediate left, a female sub was lying naked with her arms secured over her head and her legs tied open. Her Dom was fingering her while he used a riding crop on her clit, tap, tap, tapping it against her, and given the way the woman was panting, she was close to climax.
To the right, two Doms stood together, surveying the room like two predators searching for their latest quarry. At least, she assumed they were Doms. It was all in the way they held themselves, erect and powerful. One was tall and stocky, the other compact and trim, a giant wolf compared to a panther. The taller of the two wore ripped jeans and a black tank; the smaller wore leather pants and a tank of deep blue. They were stunning and intimidating.
"You doing okay?" Sir asked. "You're awfully quiet."
"Sorry, just… taking everything in. It's amazing! I've never actually been to a full-blown BDSM club before. Closest I ever got was going to this friend's house in college. He hosted BDSM parties there."
And okay, friend was stretching the term. She hadn't been friends with the couple who'd hosted the parties, but her brain was firing on too many cylinders to explain the distinction to Sir. There was way too much to see and experience. She'd tell him the story later.
"It's breathtaking, Sir. Thank you so much for bringing me here. I can't wait to—oh my god, Carrie!"
The blonde Katlyn had spotted a half-dozen yards away turned her head and smiled. After excusing herself from whatever conversation she'd been having, Carrie headed Katlyn's direction even as Sir veered in Carrie's.
When they met, Katlyn wrapped her friend in a fierce embrace. "I'm so glad to see you."
"I'm not planning on staying much longer," Carrie returned. "Given everything that happened with Raven, I just wanted to check-in and make sure my friend was okay."
"I'm good. I wasn't sure I'd be, but I'm holding my own."
Carrie pulled back and studied Katlyn. "Yeah, I'd say you are."
Katlyn hugged her friend close for another second before releasing her and stepping into her Sir's arms. "Are you sure you can't stay?"
"No. I have to be in court tomorrow morning, giving emotional support to one of my clients." Carrie turned to Maddox. "Will I see you and Carter there? This client belongs to all of us."
"It'll probably just be me," Maddox answered. "Carter's got to take Raven back to the doctor for her follow-up."
"Is he doing okay? Should I call him?"
"He's managing. Still shaken up but managing."
Carrie nodded. "Totally understandable. Maybe I'll just drop by y'all's office casually on purpose soon and check on him."
"Sounds like a good plan," said Maddox.
Carrie motioned to Katlyn. "Mind if I steal her for a few minutes? I promise to have her back to you ASAP."
"Of course," Maddox answered. "When you're done, send her to the back corner of The Dark Side, on the opposite side as the bar. I've got a platform reserved."
"Will do, Sir," Carrie said as she looped her arm through Katlyn's and led her away.
"The Dark Side?" Katlyn asked when Maddox was out of earshot. "Should I be scared?"
Carrie laughed. "Not at all. It's just what we call that area over there." She indicated the direction with her head. "The lights are set lower, so it's darker and more intimate."
"Oh," Katlyn said, excitement purring through her. "Sounds fun!"
Maddox had nearly finished setting out all his props when Masters Steel and Ewan approached him.
"We were hoping to see Raven and Carter back tonight," Ewan said, the younger and smaller of the two brother Doms. "Brock told us what happened."
The other Doms' concern touched Maddox. He and Carter often joked that Restrained Fantasies was their second home, but it was a damn exact comparison.
Maddox set the last of his supplies on the side table he'd set up near the platform he'd chosen for his and Kat's scene tonight. "She's recovering well, but she's not up for work or fun yet. Hopefully, at her follow-up appointment tomorrow, her doctor will tell her she can stop wearing the shoulder brace. It's driving her nuts."
"I can imagine." The left side of Steel's lips tipped up, a rare sight. The big Dom didn't often smile. Maddox could count on one hand the number of times he'd done so.
"Give her and Carter our best, would you?" said Ewan.
Maddox nodded in consent. "Consider it done."
The pair left Maddox to finish his setup. Unlike last time, he planned to keep toy use at a minimum. He wanted tonight to be about the two of them discovering each other as Dom and sub.
Toys were safe. They were high on the pleasure they could bring, which he'd used to his advantage before, but they didn't push boundaries, not the way he wanted to push her tonight. She had a depth to her he wanted to explore. The sub in her was strong, and he was ready to see how strong.
He'd use no simple restraints tonight. No easy escapes. No simple orgasms. Well, except maybe her first one. Tonight, he would bring out the big guns.
He lifted his flogger from the table. He'd had this since college. He'd bought it for himself as a graduation present. The leather was worn but well-tended; quality leather did that.
His mind shifted to the first sub he'd ever used this on. The leather had been new then, but so had she. Beautiful and trusting in her sexy kitten outfit, she'd left her mark on him, and for just the briefest moment, he let himself wonder where she was. Was she at a club, too, about to perform a scene with another Dom while remembering him?
From behind, a familiar body pressed against him. "I'm back, Sir."
"I see that." He placed the flogger down and turned so that they stood face to face. "Everything okay with Caroline?"
She nodded. "She wanted to check on me and make sure I was doing okay. She was afraid this could cause me to have a setback. I saw Viv, too. She gave me a giant hug, and I was hit by just how great it is to have so many people who care about me now. I wouldn't have that if it weren't for you."
He didn't trust himself to speak yet, so he took her lips in a sweet kiss. He didn't pull back until he felt grounded.
"Mmm," she said on a sigh. "That was nice. Please do it again, Sir."
A smile tugging at his lips, he obliged her. It wasn't as if kissing her was a hardship, but he made sure to cut the kiss short, to leave her wanting and wanton.
"Oh, my sweet, sweet, kitten. What do you say we get you into something a little less comfortable?"
"I think I'd like that very much, Sir."
"I'd hoped you would." He grabbed the wrist cuffs from the table and then held his arms out to her, palms up. "Give me your hands, kitten."
He was pleased that she didn't hesitate; it showed her trust in him was continuing to build.
As a reward for her submission, he pressed a kiss to her forehead.
When he'd secured the cuffs, he pointed at the platform. "Sit, my kitten."
"Yes, Sir."
She lowered onto the platform, and her skirt rode high, revealing creamy thighs. All he had to do was make her lie back and spread her legs, and he'd be one step away from heaven. So that was precisely what he told her to do.
When she'd obeyed, he took one hand and then the other and secured them to two of the platform's four thick chains. He loved the look of her like this, so open, trusting, and vulnerable. She was the sub he'd longed for, and it was about time he accepted that. He needed her, the cop, the Dom, and the man.
He picked up the braided hemp rope he'd placed on the table. "How much experience do you have with rope play?"
Her throat worked. "Uh, that's a difficult question to answer, Sir."
He understood the subtext immediately and rephrased his question. "How much experience do you have with rope play and Doms who respect you and your safe words?"
And with that, she visibly relaxed. "There's only been one Dom, one other time, who performed
a scene with me using rope play, but it was a long time ago, Sir. A lifetime ago."
"Did you enjoy it with him?" he asked, battling back an insane wave of jealousy. He wanted to be the first Dom to do this with her. He also wanted to be the last Dom she ever had—her only Dom for the rest of their lives.
"I did, Sir. He was very patient with me. Kind in his way, too."
Affection warmed her eyes as she spoke of him, and his jealousy increased. He should be happy she'd had a good Dom to introduce her to the lifestyle. Without him, she wouldn't be here with him now. Still, the jealousy wouldn't go away.
Knock it off, he scolded himself. Tonight was about her, not him.
"I enjoy rope play, both for the way it looks on my subs when finished and for the pleasure I get in actually using the ropes," he replied. "The act of binding, the time and the skill it takes, and, yes, the anticipation it creates in my subs as I slowly wrap the rope around them."
He ran the soft cords up and down her inner thighs, pleased that she was keeping her legs spread without having to be told. Her inner submissive was in control, and it turned him on.
"I haven't used rope on you before because I wanted the ability to release you immediately if you panicked, but you didn't panic. So, tonight, we're taking things up a notch, kitten. That said, I do have a pair of blunt-nosed scissors nearby just in case."
"I appreciate that, Sir."
"Since this is our first time trying this, I want to give you a new safe word: yellow. This just lets me know you're getting close to your limit or becoming uncomfortable. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Sir. Blue or red for stop. Yellow to slow down."
"Very good." He bent and gave her left inner thigh a quick kiss. "Let's get started."
Katlyn couldn't take her eyes off her Sir.
Maddox unwound the rope and folded it in half, much in the same way he'd done with the tassel their first night as an actual Dom and sub. The way his gaze played over her—god. She swallowed, a heady mix of apprehension and anticipation making her needy. He'd never looked at her like this before. Usually, his expression was careful, studious, always making sure she was okay, but not now.
