by Rylon, Jayne
“Okay.” She smacked his ass right back.
“Don’t feel like you need to wait up. I suspect you’ll be exhausted by then.” He winked and strode out the door, which Owen locked and double-checked behind him.
Holly wilted onto the couch. “Hell, I feel pretty dead already.”
Owen turned to her with a frown. “Do you want to take a nap?”
“Yeah, but I doubt I could. And if I fall asleep this late in the evening, I won’t be able to go back to bed tonight.” She held her hand out to him. Without hesitation, he crossed to her and took it. She used their link to pull him down next her so she could curl up against his side and rest her head on his shoulder.
At first he was stiff, as if surprised or uncertain about how to handle her.
Well, that made two of them. She had even less of a clue, since he’d had plenty of experience with foursomes and she’d had none before theirs. So she went with her gut and put her hand on his abs.
“I’ll stay here and watch over you. I swear, no one is going to hurt you again. Not on my watch,” he promised.
“I believe you.” She smiled up at him then, because she did. “It’s just that I’m worried about Trent. He’s been gone so long. I hope he’s okay.”
“He can take care of himself.” Owen shrugged. “Believe me, I’ve seen some shit in my life, and Trent is a survivor. He’ll be fine.”
Holly bit her lip to keep a million questions from tumbling out of her mouth and overwhelming him. She considered her next move carefully.
They sat in silence until ringing started in her ears. Owen might be the quiet type, but she’d never been accused of the same. “Want to tell me more about the shit you’ve seen and why you never felt safe expressing your emotions before?”
“Nah, I’m good.” He put his interlocked fingers behind his head as if that was that.
Holly wasn’t about to let him get away with it, though, not after she’d been forced to admit so much the past few days. She got to her knees on the couch and straddled him, claiming his full attention.
“Are you really?” She flattened her hands on his chest and felt his heartbeat kicking against her palm. “Or is that a kneejerk reaction?”
“It’s a hard habit to break.” He met her stare. From just a few inches away she could see every golden fleck in his hazel eyes. “Most people only ask to be polite anyway.”
“I’m not most people.”
“That’s definitely true.” He smiled then, the real sort, not the perfunctory kind she’d seen him flash at hospital staff or even the agents outside. That alone told her it was worth harassing him a bit more. So she took a page out of her mom’s book and channeled the patented Hendricks tell-me-the-truth stare that had always worked on her.
One of his brows rose in response, and she tried to seem stern instead of laughing. She certainly didn’t want him to think she was looking down at his fledgling attempts to tap into the emotions she could sense trapped and swirling within him.
“Tell me, Owen. Please. What are you feeling right now?” She took his hand.
His eyes sparkled and she anticipated his smart-ass remark. “Horny.”
“Don’t give me that. You’re deflecting. Let’s have a serious conversation.” She started to move off of him, but he was faster, snagging her hand and pressing it to the bulge in his pants.
“Am I lying?”
“No, but that’s not the whole truth.” She swallowed hard. Unless she had been wrong all along. “At least, I don’t think it is. Maybe I’m making a mistake.”
Holly backed up, withdrew her fingers from his, and began to climb off his lap.
He put his hand on her hip. “Wait. You’re not. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. I’m not used to someone being up in my psyche or giving a shit about what I think.”
“Do you think you could get used to it? Because I’m kind of pushy and nosy, and if we’re going to be living together—and sleeping together—then it’s inevitable that you’ll have to trust me too.”
“I do.” He seemed kind of surprised by that revelation.
“Then answer me, please. I need to know where we stand. Do you think of me as Trent’s girlfriend who you sometimes fuck, or as someone you want a relationship with out of bed?” Her throat dried out when he still couldn’t seem to find the words to respond.
“Okay, look. I’ll go first.” Holly figured she had to find the balls to put herself out there if she was asking him to do the same. “I’m worried that what the four of us have going on here won’t last if we’re not all in it. Not only as fuck buddies but as equal partners. Like Kari and her lawyers or Andi and her guys. They’re good examples of how to make something like this work. And that’s what I want. More than a night or two of fun. I want the forever-and-always variety of relationship with each of you. I know it’s going to take time, but yeah…that’s what I’m hoping for.”
Owen let out an enormous sigh, if he’d been holding his breath for days. She took that as a good sign, along with the fact that she could feel his erection growing where they were pressed together.
His other hand came up and rested in the small of her back, his fingers sliding into her pockets and flexing on her ass a bit, as if he didn’t plan to let her go.
“I’m not sure you know what you’re getting into. Trent has issues, sure, but he’s still pretty normal. He had a complete family and went to nice schools and…”
“He didn’t feel any more accepted than you have.” Holly put her hands on Owen’s shoulders and began to rub them, hoping to keep him relaxed and open. “I’m not criticizing. I’m just not sure that you see yourself the way I do and I wish you could. I don’t know exactly what you’ve been through, but I’m willing to listen if you ever want to share.”
He shrugged, encouraging her to scrub the tension from his muscles again. She would do it as often as required in order to soothe him. Being honest, she hadn’t ever known she had this side of her—the caretaker—until her mother got ill. Whether it had always been there or had become a part of her then, when someone she loved needed her to develop it, it was there now. A pillar of her identity. Something that fulfilled her. And if it also helped Owen, then she was glad she’d learned these skills along the way.
“I grew up in a shitty area, with shitty parents, and shitty chances. When I got tired of being a punching bag for the string of boyfriends my mom kept around to have access to meth, I ran. I’ve been homeless. I’ve done things I shouldn’t have to get by. Sold drugs. Stole stuff and sold that too. Fuck, I even sold myself when I had to.” He closed his eyes as if certain she would change the way she looked at him when he admitted it.
Holly slid her hands between him and the couch, hugging him tight instead. She wasn’t trying to seduce him, she was trying to be what they both needed. At first he didn’t react. Slowly, his arms came up and around her too, embracing her in return.
“Sorry that I’m weird and screwed up,” he murmured. “I didn’t have a mom like yours. No one taught me how to act toward someone you care about.”
“Telling them you give a shit is a start.” She rested her forehead on his and smiled. “Thank you. And for the record, I think you either already know how to act deep down or you have good instincts or maybe you’ve learned more than you think along the way. I saw how kind you were to the taxi driver, and the man at the hospital just today. You also made sure the security team had lunch and helped Kari’s guys throw her an incredible engagement party when they were practically strangers to you. You treat Moose like he’s a son instead of your dog, and you always let Trent and Lorenzo take what they need before you in bed.”
“Oh.” His mouth snapped shut. “I guess those things are true. I didn’t realize you were paying that much attention to me.”
“Well, now you know I have been.” She leaned in and kissed him lightly before pulling back again, rubbing the pads of her thumbs over his temples while she cupped his head in her hands
.
“I’ve never felt like this about a woman before,” he finally admitted.
“What exactly does that mean?” She didn’t want to make assumptions or put words in his mouth.
“I don’t know how to explain.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips across hers. Instead of the nearly desperate way he normally kissed her, in the heat of the moment while inside her or while watching one of his best friends fucking her, this time was different. He was gentle and almost timid.
Her heart ached for him. She realized then that making love was the only language he had to express himself when it came to relationships. So maybe she should let him tell her in the way he understood. The way that came naturally. And when desire eroded his restraint, maybe then he’d be able to overcome his inhibitions.
“If it’s too hard to say what you’re feeling, then you can always show me.” She didn’t know about him, but she felt fluent in the dialect of his body when she glided against him sinuously, and he responded by meeting her halfway, eager to bond them even tighter than they had been before.
Owen had to understand that she desired him, and not only because he was thrown in as a bonus in a package deal. No, it was because something in him called to the part of her that had been forced to keep going despite the unfairness of life and the obstacles that had been tossed in her path. She respected the kind of courage and perseverance it took to survive. He was so much stronger than she’d ever been. That both attracted her and made her long to give him the basic stuff he’d missed out on. Like comfort, and trust, and security. Sweetness and light.
“Can this time be different?” she asked him between sips from his lips.
“How?” He stared down at her breasts, making them both remember what it had been like when he’d pleasured himself between them.
“So far it’s been a little like having sex with a stranger.” Holly blushed because they were both well aware that she’d gotten off on it.
He laughed at that.
“I mean, you might have done that before, but I never have. It’s been a fantasy come to life.” Male satisfaction curled up his lips at her confession. “It also feels reckless. I didn’t know you as well as I probably should have to be intimate with you at first, but I trust Trent and his judgment in picking friends and partners. And now…”
“I want to get to know you even better.” He didn’t hesitate about that. “I can say that for sure.”
“What if you don’t like what you learn?” she asked, almost afraid of the answer. She owed it to him though to be as honest as he was being. “If I’m with Trent and Lorenzo but things don’t work out with you and I, what would you do?”
“For my whole life, the only constant has been me. If this doesn’t happen for us, if we don’t mesh, I’ll figure something out. We shouldn’t not try just to keep from avoiding some what-if.” The more Owen opened up—to her and, she suspected, to himself—the more he seemed to convince them both. “You’re right. Up until now, it’s been fun, but I’d much rather have something more, something lasting, with you if that’s what you want too. I guess I didn’t let myself get my hopes up that you could be into me, for me, until right now.”
Holly couldn’t help but grin at that.
“Oh, shit. What have I done?” Owen reflected it right back at her. “Why do I feel like I just unleashed something I’m never going to be able to regain control of?”
“Do you honestly trust me?” she asked between whisper-kisses.
He swallowed hard and tried to rock to the side in order to flip her beneath him on the couch. She planted her knees and leaned the other direction.
No way. Holly resisted. “Do you?”
He drew a deep breath, then sighed. “Yeah.”
“Then let me pamper you. When’s the last time someone did that?” She brushed the pad of her thumb over his lower lip.
He shrugged.
“Never, I bet. I want to show you how good it can be to let go.”
“I don’t know, Holly. That…freaks me out.” He groaned. “It probably wouldn’t be any good for you. I don’t think I can—”
“Exactly why you should do it. With me.” She kissed him then, reaching between them to stroke him through his pants. “Trust me like you say you do.”
His head fell back on the couch, then he relaxed, maybe for the first time ever around her. “Okay, fine. Do your worst.”
A rush of excitement and sensual responsibility flooded her. Power and pride. He gave her that.
And she couldn’t wait to see what she could do with it.
11
“Come on.” Holly couldn’t say where she found the guts to do it, but she stood and held out her hand to Owen. When he took it, she led him from the living room they all shared and into his bedroom. It seemed important that he know she was doing this because of him and not because he was lumped in as part of a package deal.
When he hesitated at the threshold, a tendril of doubt rose within her. “Is this okay? Or am I invading your space?”
She glanced around at his room, which could have been featured in a commercial for an anti-hoarder show. She’d previously assumed he was a neat freak, or a minimalist, but now she recognized his sparse décor for what it was: the ability to pick up and go at a moment’s notice. A form of armor, protecting him from getting too attached. Maybe it was him Lorenzo should be voting most-likely-to-run.
“You didn’t want to make your mark here in case you had to move on, huh?” She looked at him over her shoulder. “It hurts less to disconnect if you don’t make it a real home.”
“How the hell do you get me when no one else ever has?” That set him in motion again. He strode forward a step and then another, walking her backward until her thighs bumped into his mattress. “You’re welcome here anytime. I didn’t know you were interested in visiting before.”
“Now you do.” She spun them, shoving his shoulders so he crashed backward onto the bed and bounced a few times as he stared up at her in shock.
His pupils dilated as she stalked him, crawling onto the mattress so that she could straddle him again. Holly planted her hands on his shoulders. His hands came up, cupping her elbows. If that made him feel like he still had some sort of control over her, she’d allow the illusion, if only for a moment or two longer.
“Since words aren’t your thing, I’m going to communicate your way. Hopefully, you get what I’m trying to tell you.” Holly sank lower so that she was folded, her knees and hips bent as much as possible so her legs zigzagged and her torso aligned parallel to his. She kissed Owen’s jaw, then his chin.
When he shifted, trying to capture her lips with his own, she detoured and sucked on a spot on his neck, just below his ear. Despite his hissed curse, she kept teasing him until he went slack, allowing himself to be completely at her mercy.
Only then did she reward him with a long, slow glide of her mouth on his, consuming the sharp exhalation he made when they finally connected. His body was so hard and lean beneath her, like the street fighter he’d probably been, every ripple of his muscles made it clear that he could overpower her if he chose.
Instead, he let her take the lead. Given what he’d disclosed about his past and the world that had shaped him, that was more valuable than anything he could have said. His confidence in her was priceless. And addictive.
So she did it again and again, until they had gone beyond simple kisses into a full make-out session, their bodies amplifying the contact of their lips and teeth and tongues. And still he lay there, refusing to make a move. It wasn’t easy for her either, to take the initiative and put herself out there for him to reject.
Except that every moment he didn’t shove her away, she grew bolder. She loved the parts of her he brought out when they were alone like this. It was unexpected and arousing.
Holly had no idea what got into her, but she discovered she liked being in command of both of their desires. She was desperate to prove to him that she could be entrusted with
more than just his physical needs. This at least was a start.
She pulled away, staring down at him in wonder. Now that she knew this facet of her existed, somewhere deep down, she wanted to take it for a test drive. With him, she felt comfortable enough to do it. So she leveled her best stern stare at him, then commanded, “Wait here.”
“Where are you going?” he asked with a worried expression that was half-amusement and half-pain. “Not far I hope?”
She lunged for the basket of clean clothes tucked neatly into the corner. He was a hell of a lot tidier than Lorenzo. Still, she could see two of the black ties he wore to work at the valet stand poking through the open weave.
Oh yeah, that would do.
Holly might have been sporting an evil grin when she snagged them and twirled around, letting them dangle from one of her fingers.
“Holly…”
“Owen.” She took the satiny fabric and draped one length over her neck, letting the ends trail between her breasts.
He licked his lips. Shockingly, he didn’t move. Not to evade her touch, and definitely not to assert his innate dominance. He allowed her free rein over his body, and a more vulnerable part of him she was sure he didn’t often expose.
As she returned to the bed, she held the other tie above him. The material caressed his chest for her. His nipples were hard and he arched off the bed, the tendons in his neck standing out in stark relief. Owen flung his hands out, smacking the mattress on either side him. His fingers splayed as if he was clinging to the sheets with everything he had in order to grant her wishes.
“Here, let me help you with that.” Holly climbed onto the bed and resumed her position, leaning forward to place light kisses on his parted lips. His cock was a thick ridge between her legs.
She couldn’t stop herself from sliding back and forth over him, rubbing her mound along his cock, though he certainly didn’t seem to mind. This might just work after all.
Holly smiled down at him. “Thank you.”
“I haven’t done anything.” He practically pouted.
