by T Gephart
“Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to drive her. Thought it might be nice to sit in the passenger seat for a change.”
She stopped swinging, dropping her feet to the ground to keep her still. “You’d let me drive, Elena?”
“Awww, you know her name.” I grinned, petting the steering wheel. “And yeah, as long as you promise not to leave my transmission on the LIE. What do you say? Feel like taking her out?”
No one had ever driven my car.
Not even Tibbs, and the bastard had begged me since I’d gotten her. And it wasn’t just the price tag, which would’ve been reason enough. It was just—well, she was like my woman. And no, I wasn’t a sick bastard who fantasized about fucking the tail pipe. It was just something I’d wanted for a really long time and didn’t want to share. Much like Presley. But given the choice between my car and my girlfriend, it wasn’t even a competition.
“Is this a trick question?” she asked, lifting herself out of the swing and walking toward the car. “Or do you have a concussion I don’t know about?”
To prove my point, I threw it into neutral, pulled up the emergency brake and opened the driver’s side door. “And if I had a concussion, are you not going to take advantage of it?” I leaned back against the door, folding my arms across my chest as I smirked.
She closed the gap between the car and swing, putting her hands either side of me as she leaned in. “Then you better let me in before you come to your senses.”
Our lips met, my body pushed against the car while we made out, in what was probably the hottest threesome I could ever think up. And that kiss, it wasn’t vulnerable. It was hot and needy for a different reason.
Pulling back before anything got too out of control, I moved to the side, taking her with me and opening the driver’s side door. She looked like a kid on Christmas, scrunching her fists in excitement as she looked inside.
“You know how to work a clutch, right?” I laughed nervously, showing her the pedals. It was a little late in the game to be asking, but I was serious about not wanting to lose my transmission.
Her eyes rolled, sliding into the driver’s seat and adjusting it. “Please, I learned to drive in my dad’s car. You know the man will probably be the last person on earth to give up a stick shift. Now stop stalling and get in or I’ll leave you here.”
She wasn’t kidding either, attempting to close the door while my body was still blocking it. It was the first glimpse of the old Presley I’d seen in days, the smile on her face radiating pure happiness.
Worried I might screw it up by mentioning it, I did what the lady told me to do and got into the passenger seat. It was a long ass walk back to Midtown and I didn’t want to have to call Tibbs and ask for a ride home. I’d never hear the end of it. One, because I let his sister drive my car instead of him, and two, because she stole said car.
I’d barely fastened my belt when she let off the brake, taking off like a bat out of hell. She quickly transitioned from first to second, taking the stick like a natural as she flirted with the speed limit.
“You know we’re still in the suburbs, Pres, and not a NASCAR circuit.” I glanced over, knowing it would piss her off.
“Shut up, Leighton.” She laughed, making her way through the gears. “Don’t be such a pussy.”
“Oh, I’m being a pussy?” I laughed, loving that smile and knowing I had something to do with putting it there. “Let’s see who’s a pussy once you get on the 495 and you can really open her up. And if you’re not red lining, you’re not doing it right.”
Taking my taunt in the spirit it was intended, she took the entrance ramp, her grin widening as she tightened her grip on the wheel. The speed limit was fifty-five on the LIE, which was what you travelled at if you wanted to get some other car’s grill right up your ass. Everyone else did seventy to seventy-five, which suited us just fine considering Elena could do a hundred and not even work up a sweat.
Once we were on the interstate, there was no stopping her. Presley using every single one of those 526 horses to get herself out in front of traffic and get Elena purring. It was making me hard, both of my girls on fire as we left Long Island in the rear view and headed toward Manhattan.
The air was electric, Presley laughing as she switched lanes so she wouldn’t have to slow down. Everything about her was infectious, the light that had been missing from her eyes making a reappearance.
She didn’t slow down until we got to the tunnel, easing off the accelerator as we hit a wall of brake lights. And even though I’d been worried, there was no backward slide as we made our way onto the island.
It must have been on her mind too, her eyes cutting from the road and over to me and giving me a big smile. “Thanks,” she said, bringing Elena down to a crawl as we hit East 37th.
“For what?” I shrugged, thinking the gratitude was a bit much just for letting her drive my car.
“For everything. For being here, sticking around, and not pushing me. I feel like I’m so much drama right now, and honestly, given the choice, I’m not sure I’d stick around.”
It was hard to hear but her words were honest, and that was the only thing I expected from her. She could be messy or dramatic, and fly off the handle as much as she wanted. Some people were worth sticking around for, and what we’d been through wasn’t even close to my limit.
I reached over, covering the hand that was cradling the gearshift. “None of those are things you’re ever going to have to thank me for. I’m here because I want to be with you, and even on your worst day, I’d still count myself as lucky.”
And that was it right there.
I was lucky.
Even though shit wasn’t perfect, I’d take a slice of imperfection with Presley than a guarantee of smooth sailing with someone else. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that she was the woman I was going to marry, and if she wanted, have a couple of kids with.
Yeah, lucky was an understatement.
Presley
I HAD A lot of anger.
Confusion, hurt, and guilt as well, but anger was by far the worst. And most of all, I was angry at myself. Angry I couldn’t snap out of it. Angry I couldn’t stop replaying the possibilities in my head—of Hayden being hurt or something worse happening—and angry that I should’ve known better.
And I didn’t wake up one day and suddenly the anger was gone. There were days I was better at handling it—along with all the other emotions—and then something would just set me off and I’d snap. Like my mother suggesting I move back home.
I understood why, and intellectually I knew storming off was an overreaction. But I couldn’t make myself stop. It was like the part of me that had always been rational had taken a vacation, and what I was left with was a ticking timebomb I never knew when it was going to explode.
Jared had been amazing. Asking me to drive his car home had meant more than I could ever put into words. Apart from the obvious, where it was just a fun thing to do, and letting me drive Elena before Tibbs. I was going to totally rub salt in that wound. But it made me feel like he was literally putting me in the driver’s seat. He wasn’t trying to fix me or solve my problems, sitting beside me as I got there on my own.
There was no talk about me going back to see my parents and apologizing. Or even telling me that they were only doing it because they loved me. He didn’t talk about it at all, instead just holding me and telling me it was okay.
That I was okay.
And it made me feel valid.
Even though part of me felt weak for even needing that external validation, I realized that he was just giving me what I couldn’t give myself at the moment. It wasn’t a competition, and no one was keeping score.
After my initial night off, I went back to work. I had a modified schedule, delegating where I could and trusting the people around me. Bennett and Rae stepped up in a huge way, making my reduced hours barely noticeable to the other staff. And like Jared, they didn’t coddle, letting me find my way through it
with the best cheer squad in history.
Therapy helped too, talking things out allowed me some perspective I hadn’t seen before. It was refreshing, feeling that maybe I wasn’t totally crazy and that letting go of some of my thoughts wasn’t a defeat.
I still hadn’t really spoken to Hayden, feeling it was something I just needed to do. We shared a connection even though we barely knew each other. It had started with that conversation at the bar, and then solidified by being terrorized by the same man. Sure, we’d seen each other and had polite exchanges, but it wasn’t even close to what I needed to say to her. Not that there really had been the time.
Mack and Hayden got married quickly.
There was barely an engagement, the chief proposing to her at the hospital and then a speedy service at the City Clerk’s office as soon as she was out of bandages. It was followed by a casual reception at the pizza place not far from the stationhouse, which was amazing except for when Mack’s ex-wife turned up. Melinda was sprouting crazy like usual and Hayden had totally handled it in stride, shutting her down with a grace that had been so under appreciated.
Which only made my decision easier.
“Boss.” Bennett rapped at my door before letting himself in. “Hayden’s here.”
It was early, the club still not open, and Mack and Jared were both on duty. I’d wanted the opportunity to talk to her alone, asking her to meet me at the club early in the afternoon.
“Show her in, B.” I shuffled the papers at my desk, standing while I waited.
I’ll admit, I was a little nervous. There was no way to know if a trip back to Diablo might accidentally trigger her post traumatic stress, or if she’d just been too polite to stand me up. And that wasn’t even taking into account what I was going to ask, which on paper looked a little unorthodox.
Hayden smiled as she strode in, her new wedding rings shining almost as bright as her smile. “Hey, Presley, how are you?” Her arms opened, offering me a hug I wasn’t sure I deserved as I welcomed her into my office.
“Thanks so much for coming, Hayden. I’ll admit, I didn’t think about it until later that it might be hard for you to be here. And I want you to know that if at any time you’re uncomfortable, we can leave and go somewhere else.” It really had been an oversight, my invitation feeling more than just a little insensitive.
She pulled away, still wearing her grin as she took a seat. “I’m not uncomfortable. I liked being here, and before seeing Lewis in the parking lot, I’d been having a good time.”
Usually I went and sat behind my desk. It was a power move, the separation it afforded me giving me the upper hand as I strolled back, sat in my chair and assumed the position of authority. Which was a total mind fuck because sitting behind a desk didn’t give you any more power than if you didn’t. It was purely perception. But I didn’t do that with Hayden, taking a seat beside her instead. “I know you’re probably wondering why I’ve asked you here, and while I try to be more patient these days, I’d rather cut to the chase.”
She turned her head, looking at me with interest. “O-kay,” she laughed. “What was it you wanted to talk to me about?”
I took a breath, letting the air slowly expel from my lips. “I blamed myself for what happened to you. I felt that you were only here because I asked you to be, and if you’d waited for Mack at the station, you’d have never gotten shot.”
Her head shook, opening her mouth despite my raised hand trying to stop her. “I could argue it was my fault. I was out in the parking lot, Presley. If I’d stayed in the club, Lewis wouldn’t have had the opportunity. Or we can blame the walls, their inability to allow a signal to travel through them making it so I had to step out. Hell, we can even blame the mafia or whoever it was that he owed that money to. If they hadn’t been threatening his life, he wouldn’t have been so desperate. But do you know the only person I blame?” she asked, only continuing when I shook my head, “Lewis. He’s the one who decided to hurt us. He made his choices, and he could have walked away at any time.”
“I know,” I nodded, “it might have taken me a little longer than you to get to the same conclusion, but I know he is the only one that needs to be blamed. I’m in therapy in case you’re wondering. Extrapolating my thoughts with assistance is new to me, I’m more of a DIY kind of girl.”
She laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh. But I love that you’re so matter of fact about it. And I agree, it shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of. I’ve been seeing someone myself, whatever helps, right?”
“Right, thank God mine doesn’t make me rake sand or talk about my childhood,” I chuckled. “And if I’d had to lay on someone’s couch and re-imagine my birth, I’d probably still be rolling my eyes. I mean, I can appreciate being woo-woo and all, but come on.”
“Well I’m glad we’re on the same page.” Hayden reached out and touched my hand. “And the club seems to be doing well. Mack said you barely took any time off, you must be exhausted.”
“Yeah, so remember how I said two minutes ago that I was impatient? Well, other than talking about Lewis and making sure you were okay, I had another reason for asking you here.” I smiled, unable to draw it out anymore.
Hayden dipped her chin, her brow scrunching in confusion. “And that would be . . .”
“A job offer, I want you to come work for me. Mack told me you left Target, so I think it’s the perfect time for you to join the team at Diablo.”
She laughed, assuming I was joking. “Me, in a club? You know how old I am, right? And that I have no qualifications other than some hospitality experience years ago. I really appreciate the offer, Presley—”
“So appreciate it and accept it.” I dismissed her rejection, refusing to accept it. “You’ll be running my inventory and taking over my compliance portfolios. I can train you on the software, and you can take some college classes online. I’m going to be opening a second site, and I can’t be in two places at once. I’m going to need someone I trust, someone willing to work hard and isn’t scared about a little uncertainty. And we both know you’re wasting your potential in retail, Hayden. I’d be an idiot to let you go get another job like that. For purely selfish reasons, of course.”
She eyed me with suspicion. “Purely selfish reasons, huh? You think I’m going to believe that?”
“If you think that I wouldn’t benefit from this deal, then you aren’t as smart as I gave you credit for. Think about it, I can hire and train you specifically for the role I need without having to break existing bad habits you got from another EA job. I also get someone I trust, which at this point is almost more important than anything else.”
Hayden was about to shake her head when she stopped. “I’m going to be upfront with you, Presley. Mack and I were going to try and start a family. It would be irresponsible for me to accept a new job and then leave you high and dry later.”
“So, have a baby, have ten. You’ll be working days, no nights and other than some of my staff, the bar will be empty. We’ll set you up with an office that has room for a porta cot and some other baby stuff as well as a desk, and you can bring the little goofball in with you. I can even set you up remotely, half the stuff can be done offsite anyway. Which means when you get close to delivery and after you’ve had the baby, you can still keep working if you want to. I’m not saying you have to, because I can only imagine how intense it would be to push out a human, but if you did, you wouldn’t have to make the choice. We’d work it out. And not to brag, but I’m a really good boss.”
I’d been overselling it and I knew it. To anyone it was a good deal even if I’d only put in half the effort. But part of it was being brave enough to show my vulnerability, even if I’d never do it in business with anyone else.
“Do you always get what you want?” she asked, her eyebrow lifting.
“Yes,” I answered without apology. “I have to work my ass off for it, but once my mind is set, then it’s already mine. That’s not t
o say I don’t fail sometimes or have disappointments, the self-doubt is new though, and to be honest, I’m not a fan.” I laughed, shrugging. “But surprisingly, it didn’t change who I am. You know you can be a badass and still have a bad day, who knew?” I leaned forward, nodding in surprise. “And I’m working on the patience thing too, more so with myself than anyone else.”
It was more honest than I usually was, but I didn’t regret it. Apart from the bond we shared of my psycho ex, there was something about her that I just liked. Maybe because I could see that fight in her too, and I wanted to be around it.
“So you might as well agree, Hayden. I’m not known to back down.”
I felt like I was back in Jared’s Mustang, my hands locked around the steering wheel and my foot planted on the gas.
The smile edged wider on her lips, and I knew she wasn’t going to turn me down. “Okay, I’m in. But I still want to take those college classes as well. If I’m going to do this, I don’t want to half-ass the effort.”
“I’d expect nothing less.”
We hugged again, sealing the deal, and it occurred to me we hadn’t even discussed important things like income and benefits. I guess that told me that she trusted me too, which made me feel even better.
I handed her a contract I had already prepared and told her to go home, read it and bring it back when she was ready to start. I had a hunch it wouldn’t be long, expecting to see her in the next week.
“So, you going to sneak to the firehouse and go fuck your hot boyfriend before we open?” Raelle waltzed in, not bothering to knock since Hayden had left the door open. “Because if we’re taking a poll, that’s where my vote will go.”
I rolled my eyes. “I am not going to go have sex at the firehouse. I don’t want our first time to be a quickie in public.”
Shit.
Of all the things I’d meant to share, that hadn’t been one. I blamed all the extra talking I’d done in therapy, my lock a little looser on my emotions than it used to be.
