Struggle: Beautiful Series, book one

by Anderson, Lilliana

  I nod and press my lips together so I can’t talk anymore. He thinks I’m a complete ditz. I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks, while moths of embarrassment churn through my stomach. Kill me, please.

  Priya raises her eyebrows at the exchange. “Well, this was fun.” She ushers me out of his office as she says, “Just thought you should meet Katrina so you know what she is doing leaving things on your desk. Enjoy your day, Elliot.”

  She gently closes his door and leads me back towards the library, not saying anything more until we’re back inside. “So, your bright-red face tells me you noticed he’s a bit of spunk, huh?”

  I try to act nonchalant and shrug my shoulders a little. “He’s OK.”

  “All the girls are after him, but he doesn’t show any interest. Don’t get any ideas. There’s a strict no-dating policy here, and he adheres to it. There’s a list of junior solicitors a mile long wanting to work here, and I really don’t think he will risk his job. Do yourself a favour and don’t get your hopes up.”

  “My hopes are adequately low,” I say, mentally kicking myself for feeling a little disappointed.

  “Someone nice to look at though, huh? Stops the office being so boring.”

  “I suppose,” I answer carefully.

  “Well.” She smiles. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call me.”

  I nod and thank her for the tour before getting started with work. As I flip through the items in my tray, I can’t imagine I’ll have any trouble. Everything is basic. Sort books, gather microfiche and follow a simple instruction sheet for the law journal updates—take out page twenty-two, insert the new page twenty-two—I’ll be fine.

  Alone, I take some time to look around my new work space so I can take it all in. It feels peaceful being surrounded by books, and the colours of the room help add to the calming effect: pistachio green for the small spaces of wall, and a dim grey for the bookcases.

  I have a job. Smiling, I twist lightly from side to side biting my lip as an idea comes to me. I peek over my partition to make sure I’m still alone then tuck my legs in tight and spin around in childish abandon. I place my hands on the desk to stop the spinning and sigh happily. It’s exciting to have my own space within an office. Even if it feels a little like a girl playing dress up.

  Gathering the law volumes I need to update, I focus my mind on doing what I’m getting paid for. I don’t get far into the update before a woman a few years older than me with chestnut brown hair and a Mediterranean complexion comes in to introduce herself.

  “Hi, you must be Katrina. I’m Mary, Francis’s PA—you may have seen him on your tour. I’m the head of the social committee!” She announces it to me like there should have been a Tada! at the end. She seems very peppy. “I thought I’d pop in to welcome you to Turner, Barlow and Smith and give you a rundown of the things we like to do as a team here.”

  “A team,” I repeat, bobbing my head as she prattles on.

  “Yes. We do lots of fun things outside of work hours.”

  I sit silently listening to her chatter about Friday drinks and various social activities that come up throughout the year.

  “Last year we had a team enter a dragon boat race. And the year before that, we competed in a half marathon for charity. I hear you’re a bit sporty.”

  “I’m a triathlete, yeah,” I say, regretting putting that information on my resume. Between uni, work and training, I won’t have time for corporate sports.

  “Just what we need. Maybe if you come to Friday night drinks this week I can introduce you around? You drink don’t you?”

  “Ah, sure. Yeah, I drink.”

  “Great. Well, it’s only half an hour, straight after work in the conference room.”

  “OK, I’ll make sure I’m there,” I say, feeling the pressure to fit in.

  “Excellent. This is your first job, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, very first,” I admit.

  “Well, I’m sure you’ll like it here. We’re a pretty good group of people. I mean, you get your cliques like you do everywhere, but most people here are real nice. I’ll see you around, if not, on Friday, OK?” she turns to leave and practically bounces out the door.

  “Sounds great,” I call after her, smiling weakly. I really don’t know if I’m a Friday-night-drinks kind of person, but I figure I’d better show my face if I want to make any friends here. It sounds important.

  After I get a little more work done, I leave the library to grab a coffee at morning tea time. There are two PA desks outside the offices in front of the library door, and one of the girls—a small, slightly rotund girl with a friendly face and dirty blonde hair tied up in a bouncy ponytail—gets up as I approach.

  “You’re new,” she states in an Irish accent. “I’m Kayley.”

  “Katrina,” I reply, and we shake hands briefly.

  “I’m Greg’s PA. He's creepy.” She whispers the last part.

  “Is he?” My eyes skitter around nervously. I’m not sure I should be having this conversation.

  “Yeah, sometimes I go in there to drop something off, and he is under his desk.”

  “Doing what?”

  “Exactly! That’s the part I find creepy.”

  I laugh, my concern ebbing away as we start to talk about how long she’s been working here and what some of the other girls are like.

  When we reach the kitchen, I’m introduced to Anne and Carl, who are both filing clerks, and Albina and Joanne, who are both PAs. I can’t help but notice that most of the people in the break room are all support staff. Any solicitors who come in make their coffee or tea, utter some small talk and leave.

  “They don’t really associate too much with all of us plebs,” Kayley explains, handing me a cup for my coffee as we move along the line of people waiting for the water heater.

  “Mary made it sound like the whole company was a team.”

  She laughs. “Yeah. That’s a no. Management set up the social committee to foster some kind of cohesion between solicitors and support staff. It doesn’t really work, but they provide free drinks and food.” She shrugs as if that explains it all before she sucks in her breath and taps my arm. “Wouldn’t mind a little cohesion with this one, though. Check him out.” Her eyes are on the doorway where I find Elliot joining the end of the queue. He nods and says hello to a couple of people on their way out, but mostly stands there quietly, waiting his turn for coffee, tea or whatever his chosen refreshment is.

  “Him? Yeah, I met him a little earlier. Doesn’t seem too friendly.”

  “Pity.” Kayley doesn’t hide the fact she’s openly staring at the guy. “He could make coming to work a hell of a lot more fun.”

  One of the other PAs moves towards him and starts up a conversation. I’m stupidly standing here, watching it all play out when he realises and looks at me, stopping mid-sentence for just a beat. Oh shit! The girl talking to him follows his gaze and finds a now red-faced me, who for some insane reason is still looking at them. Look away. Look away! She squints her eyes, shooting daggers in my direction, flicking her long honey streaked hair over her shoulder as she laughs and continues her conversation with Elliot. Is she laughing at me now? Why am I still staring?

  Kayley leans in, thankfully snapping my attention back to a safe area. “He’s delicious, huh? The one talking to him is Beth. She’s his PA and thinks she has dibs on him. But every woman here is lusting after the man. He’s divine. Did you see that body? And the hair, the eyes? I could go on.” She sighs happily as we spoon granulated coffee and sugar into our mugs.

  “Priya told me there’s a 'no-dating' policy here.”

  “That’s only a problem if you get caught,” Albina cuts in, leaning between us to grab a wooden stirrer. “I’d fuck that guy in a heartbeat.” She saunters off with an appreciative growl, and I grin, enjoying her audaciousness but refusing to look at Elliot again. I don’t want to get stuck staring.

  Once we’ve added our hot water and milk, we take our drinks
to one of the tables and sit down. At our table is Anne, Carl, Albina, Joanne—who prefers to be called ‘Jo’—Kayley and myself. The whole setup feels like a scene from a high school movie with predetermined groups sticking together in the cafeteria.

  My new friends seem eager to fill me in on office gossip. I find out that one of the senior partners is going through a nasty divorce and sleeps at the office most nights. And the IT guy is having an affair with one of the admin girls.

  “They think no one knows, but they aren’t very good at pretending nothing is happening,” Jo says.

  “Yeah. But no one cares enough to report them,” Carl adds. “As long as I never walk in on them fucking in the file room, I don’t give a shit what they do.”

  “Fair enough,” I say, taking a mouthful of my coffee.

  “Tell us about you, though,” Kayley says.

  “Yes,” Albina adds. “What’s your deal? You’re young. Are you still at school? Boyfriend? Family? Tell us everything.”

  “My deal?” I sit back, holding the warm mug between both hands while I try to decide how much I want to tell them. “There’s not much to me. No boyfriend, I still live at home, and I’m studying a humanities-law degree. Second year.”

  “So you want to be one of them?” Carl asks, brows raised as he points to the solicitor retreating out the door.

  “I do, but I’ll make sure I’m still kind to the little plebs,” I tease.

  “You better,” Kayley says with a laugh. “You already know too much.”

  Two

  Still on for lunch? The message flashes on my screen as I fish it out of my bag. I’ve worked steadily since morning tea, feeling like I have a good grasp on what I’m doing. But, the moment lunch hits, I’m ready to get out of here. I have plans to meet up with my best friend, David. We’ve known each other since we were nine and have been inseparable ever since. We’re even studying together at Uni. He’s the smartest person I know.

  Definitely. Leaving now. 5 mins eta