Monster

by Holly C. Webb

  “No rush,” I smiled, bring my cup to my lips once more, taking another long sip. “I’m in no hurry.”

  “Fab!” Teddy exclaimed before she hurried out of the kitchen and down the hallway towards her bedroom.

  I couldn’t help but smile to myself once more. No matter how lost I felt sometimes, I knew I would always have Teddy in my corner, and she would always know exactly how to make me smile.

  I pulled my phone from my pocket and considered if I should tell Jacob where I was, but I decided to leave well enough alone. I wasn’t expecting him to check in with me before he came home, and I planned on being back before he arrived back at the house. So why upset him more than I needed to.

  I powered off my phone and slipped it into my handbag. Today was about Teddy and me, no one else.

  Chapter 2

  Ally

  It was a little before six when the cab I was travelling in, pulled to a stop in the driveway of our house. After two extremely potent cocktails, I decided it would be safest for me to leave my car in the hotel parking lot and take a cab home. I knew Jacob would be home soon, so I wanted to change my clothes and brush my teeth before he came in. The last thing I wanted was him complaining about the smell of alcohol from my breath.

  “Thank you,” I said to the driver as I leaned forward in the car to pay my fair. Just as the driver took the money from my hand, the door next to me burst open and a very angry looking Jacob appeared, looking like he was ready to explode.

  “WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?” He demanded as he reached for my arm, almost pulling me from the back of the cab.

  “You’re hurting me,” I yelped, yanking my arm free.

  “I’ve been looking for you for hours,” he continued without drawing a breath. “I didn’t know if you were dead or alive!”

  “Don’t be so dramatic, Jacob,” I sighed, turning back to the car to collect my things before I turned and hurried towards the house. “Of course, I wasn’t dead. I was out with Teddy.”

  “I should have known she was behind this little vanishing act,” he hissed, anger seeping from his entire body as he followed me into the house, slamming the door behind him. “And I suppose she told you not to answer your phone, or even let me know where the hell you were.”

  “What vanishing act?” I asked as I slipped off my jacket, feeling a knot of anxiety form in my stomach. I hated it when he was in one of his moods. I never knew what to expect from him. “I went out with my friend. I came home before you were supposed to get back. How was I to know you were going to be home early.”

  “So, you decided to go out and sneak back in before I got home?” He asked, his tone almost accusatory.

  “Oh, for pity sake,” I groaned, resisting the urge I had to roll my eyes. I knew he hated it when I rolled my eyes, and I didn’t want to piss him off more. “I wasn’t sneaking anywhere. I went out with my friend. I know you don’t want her here, so she wasn’t here. I didn’t realise I needed your permission to leave the house now.”

  “Of course, you don’t need my permission to leave the house,” he retorted, his face completely unreadable.

  “And yet it seems I do,” I sighed, feeling more than a little bit frustrated. I’d had the best day with Teddy, and I was not letting Jacob take that from me. I released a long sigh before I continued. “You know what? I’m not in the mood to argue with you about this. I’m going to put my new things away; then I’m going to have a long soak in a hot bath.”

  I didn’t wait for Jacob to respond. Instead, I turned and made my way up the stairs to my bedroom, carrying the new clothes I had bought when I was out with Teddy.

  When I reached the bedroom, I headed straight to the huge walk-in closet, setting my shopping bags down on the ottoman in the centre of the room. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a few calming breaths before I began to unpack the things I had purchased, hanging them up on my side of the huge closet

  When I was almost finished, I remembered what Jacob had said about me, not answering my phone. I’d completely forgotten I’d turned it off. I wondered what other messages I’d missed.

  I picked up my handbag before I sat down on the ottoman, then I reached in and pulled out my phone. I powered it up, and within a few moments, it began to ping with an endless stream of message notifications and missed call alerts.

  Pulling up my messages, I saw I had nineteen missed messages, most of which were from Jacob, with two from my mom, one from my dad, and the most recent one from Teddy.

  I didn’t even open Jacob’s messages. Given his reaction to my arrival home a few moments earlier, I was already fairly certain what his messages would say.

  Instead, I opened the one from my mom first.

  Hey, Ally, Jacob called. He said he couldn’t find you. Can you call me when you get this to let me know you’re okay? Mom x.

  Are you kidding me right now? I sighed to myself as I closed the message down, trying not to react to how angry I was feeling right at that moment. He’d called my parents! Talk about an overreaction.

  I opened the second message.

  Ally, can you message me the moment you get this? I’m starting to worry now. Mom x.

  Unbelievable! I thought to myself angrily as I opened my father’s text message.

  Hey, Al. Dad, here. Call us when you get this. Love you, Sweetheart. Dad xx.

  “What the hell was he thinking,” I hissed as I brought up my mom’s phone number and hit call. I knew it was best just to call her and calm her down before she had to worry any further needlessly.

  “Ally!” Mom exclaimed the moment she answered the phone after just one ring. “Are you okay, Sweetheart?”

  “I’m fine, Mom,” I assured her, silently fuming that Jacob could have done something as stupid as calling my parents. “I was out with Teddy, and my phone died. I don’t know what the hell Jacob was thinking of, calling you guys.”

  “He sounded so worried,” Mom said, and I could hear the worry in her voice too. “I thought something dreadful had happened to you.”

  “I don’t know why he was worried,” I sighed, trying to remain as calm as I could. “But I promise you; I’m okay. I was just having a girly day with Teddy. I’m home now, safe and sound.”

  “Well, as long as you’re okay, Sweetie,” she said, and I knew she was still worried about me. “If there were something wrong, you would tell us, right?”

  “Of course I would, Mom,” I replied, wishing there was something I could say to ease her mind. “I promise I’m okay. Can you tell Dad that I’m okay too? He left me a message as well.”

  “Of course, Ally,” Mom replied, and still, I could hear the worry in her voice. “I love you, Sweetheart.”

  “Love you too, Mom,” I said, wishing I was right there next to her so I could give her a big hug. “I’m going to go have a bath. I will call you guys in the morning, and we can have a proper chat.”

  “I would love that, Ally,” Mom replied, and I could hear the smile in her voice. “I’ll speak to you then.”

  I said my goodbyes and hung up the phone.

  Finally, I opened the message from Teddy.

  Hey, Al. Thank you for today, it was fun. We need to do it more often. Love you, woman. Xx

  I smiled at her words. Today had been fun. For the first time in the longest time, I felt more like my old self.

  Love you too, x I tapped in before I set my phone down on the ottoman and headed towards the bathroom.

  I turned on the water, letting the bath fill as I stripped off my clothes, then sat down on the stool at my vanity station, where I pulled up my long, light brown coloured hair, on the top of my head, not wanting to get it wet while I was in the bath only having had it done that day.

  I stared at myself in the mirror above the sink and sighed to myself. While I was never the biggest girl in the world, I loved that I did have some curves in all the right places. But looking at my reflection, I could see I’d lost some weight. I was still eating as I always did, well,
most of the time, so really, there was no reason for me to be losing weight. Well, no reason other than stress.

  When I was growing up, I always lost weight when I was stressed out about schoolwork or exams, so I guess it made sense that I would lose it now.

  Next, I looked at my amber coloured eyes, and I couldn’t help but notice the spark that once shone from them seemed to have vanished. Instead, they just looked tired and a little sad. I hated that I felt so out of control of my life.

  Finally, I glanced down at my arm; there were four distinct marks on my arm from where Jacob had grabbed me from the cab. I knew that they would bruise because it wasn’t the first time it had happened.

  I knew that Jacob hadn’t meant to hurt me as he did, but still, as I stared at my arm, I knew that this was not okay.

  I sighed once more as I pushed up from the stool and walked towards the sunken bath in the centre of the room. I poured some magnolia bubble bath into the water, before I stepped down into the bath, sinking beneath the hot water and the fluffy bubbles that were now forming in the tub.

  I just rested my head back against the side of the bath and closed my eyes when there was a soft tap on the door. I opened my eyes just as Jacob slowly opened the door and stepped inside, giving me a sheepish look.

  I knew what was going to come now. Jacob would grovel, insisting that he only wanted the best for me because he loved me. Then somehow, I would end up feeling guilty for being angry with him and for upsetting him.

  But I refused to feel guilty today. I did nothing wrong, and Jacob had acted like a crazy person. I was not backing down this time. I was so determined.

  “Hey,” he said, walking slowly across the bathroom, two glasses of white wine in his hands. “I thought you might like a glass of wine while you soak in the bath.”

  “I’m not really in the mood,” I sighed, refusing to give him an inch. I rested my head back once more and closed my eyes again.

  “Come on, Al,” he said, and I knew right then that he was not going to back down either. “You know I don’t like it when you’re mad at me.”

  “I’m not mad, Jacob,” I sighed once more, opening my eyes again and meeting his stare. “I’m tired, and I don’t want to argue.”

  “Then please,” he said, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub. “If you’re not mad, take the wine. It will help you relax a little more.”

  I stared at him for a moment before my eyes dropped to the glass of wine in his hand. I knew by taking it; it was letting him off the hook for his ridiculous behaviour. But I felt tired, and I just didn’t want to argue anymore.

  “Thank you,” I said as I reach out for the glass, but Jacob pulled it back for a moment.

  “You know that I love you, right?” He asked, giving me a worried look. “It’s why I get so crazy sometimes.”

  “I do,” I replied, half sorry I’d backed down now. I knew he was going to give me some bullshit reason why he’d acted like a crazy person.

  “I just love you so much, I worry about you,” Jacob continued as if on cue. “If anything happened to you…”

  “But nothing is ever going to happen to me,” I assured him, having no clue where this concern had come from.

  “Ally, you don’t understand,” Jacob said as he looked down into my eyes. “There are people in this world; people who want what I have. People who want what belongs to me. I need to know that you’re okay; that you’re safe.”

  “Has something happened?” I asked, sitting up straight in the bath.

  “What? No!” He said, smiling at me, but I knew there was something he wasn’t saying. “I just love you, Ally.”

  “I love you too,” I said, giving him a genuine smile.

  “It’s just; I worry that Teddy will get into your head,” he said, sighed once more.

  “Teddy?” I asked, surprised by his comment.

  “I know she doesn’t like me,” he said, holding my gaze. “I know she hates that you're married to me.”

  “But that’s not how I feel,” I said, trying to reassure him. “You’re my husband, and I love you.”

  Jacob smiled, and I knew that he realised right at that moment, he’d won whatever this standoff was about. He handed me a glass of wine before he took a long sip from his glass.

  “How about I climb in behind you and wash your back?” Jacob asked, giving me a look that said he was ready for us to make up properly, and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

  I wanted to tell him no. I wanted to tell him I was tired, and I was most certainly not in the mood for sex. But I knew Jacob enough to know he had already decided that this was going to happen.

  So, I smiled and moved forward in the bathtub, making some room for him behind me.

  “I would like that,” I lied before I took a large gulp of my wine.

  Jacob set his glass down and didn’t waste any time stripping off his clothes. When I saw his cock was already standing hard and proud, I knew this was not going to last very long.

  He quickly climbed into the tub behind me, sinking down into the hot water before he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to his chest.

  As Jacob pressed his lips to my neck, I took a deep breath and allowed myself to melt back into my husband’s arms, reminding myself mentally that this is the man I loved. This was the man that I am supposed to love for better or worse. I needed to push my doubts from my mind and be the wife I needed to be.

  I looked over at the clock on my nightstand and sighed when I saw it was almost three in the morning. Then I turned and glanced at Jacob, who was now fast asleep. I always wondered how, no matter what was going on in Jacob’s life, he was always able to sleep like a baby.

  I rolled over onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. I didn’t know why I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t know why I felt so miserable, but I did. I felt so alone, and I knew there really was no one that I could talk to about how sad I was feeling.

  Of course, I had Teddy, but I couldn’t tell her I wasn’t completely happy with Jacob. She hated him as it was, so even if she had the slightest clue how unhappy I was, she would have lost her shit completely, and she wouldn’t have stopped until she’d gotten me as far away from him as possible.

  I couldn’t tell my parents either. I knew how much they worried about me as it was. If I told them that I felt smothered and unhappy with Jacob, they would be upset and want me to come back home where they could look after me.

  No, I didn’t want to worry anyone else. I just needed to suck it up and make things work between Jacob and me.

  Knowing I was not going to get some sleep any time soon, I pushed back the bedclothes and climbed from the bed quietly, taking great care not to wake Jacob.

  I reached for my dressing gown from the bench at the bottom of the bed, then carefully let myself out of the room.

  When I reached the kitchen, I headed to the fridge, taking out some milk before I went in search of a saucepan. Even though I’d been living in the house for over three years, I still didn’t fully know my way around the kitchen. Lynn took care of all the cooking and all the cleaning.

  She also did the laundry and the shopping too, which left very little for me actually to do in the house.

  Whenever I would try to do something, Lynn would always insist that she would do it for me. To say she was more than a little territorial about the things she was responsible for, was an understatement.

  When I found a saucepan in one of the cupboards, I poured some milk into it and set it down on the stove. I figured that some hot milk might help me sleep.

  When I was little, my mom would make me hot milk with some nutmeg in it whenever I couldn’t sleep. I wondered if we had some nutmeg in one of the cupboards, but I wouldn’t have had a clue where to even begin looking, so I decided to settle on the warm milk on its own.

  Five minutes later, when the milk was ready, I poured it into a mug and walked from the kitchen. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I looked up, but something stopp
ed me from climbing them. I just had no idea what that something was.

  I stood there for a few minutes before I turned slowly, wondering where the hell I should go now.

  I walked to the door of the living room and glanced inside. The living room was probably my favourite room in the house. It was warm and inviting, and I would spend long hours sitting in there in silence, lost in the pages of a good book.

  I considered curling up on the sofa and pulling out the book that I was currently reading, but I knew that if I did, I would fall asleep, and that would just upset Jacob when he woke and found me asleep on the sofa the next morning. So, instead of going into the living room, I turned and made my way down along the hallway until I reached the door at the far end that led into Jacob’s office.

  I hesitated for a moment before I reached for the handle.

  Pushing open the door slowly, I stepped inside, having no clue why I’d even come into this room. In the three years I’d been living in the house, I could count on one hand how many times I’d been in this room. It was Jacob’s space. The place where he spent a lot of his evenings, usually on the phone to one client or another, or pouring over an endless amount of paperwork. This was a part of his world that I simply didn’t belong to.

  Still, here I was, standing in his room in the small hours of the morning, having no clue what I was even doing there.

  I slowly walked around his table and slipped into the big leather seat that was behind the desk. Setting my milk down on the desk, I lay back into the seat. I looked around the room and imagined what Jacob felt whenever he sat there. There were double doors to the side of his desk, which overlooked our beautiful manicured backyard. In the far distance, you could see the Washington Monument rise into the night sky, standing proud as it had for over a century now.

  I knew how much this house, this room, and that view meant to Jacob. I wondered if there would ever be a time when it would mean as much to me.