“Why, Harry, whatever do you mean?” Eleanor questioned.
Harry shook his head in sorrow. “Oh, Anna, it would’ve been so hard for you to face the music, and then I just went straight ahead and sang a song you liked a whole lot more, didn’t I?”
“Harry, for heaven’s sakes dear, quit talking in riddles.” Eleanor huffed. “I’m so confused.”
Anna spoke up. “Eleanor, when I told Pastor Harry that I was pregnant, he immediately assumed it was Steven’s and started in about a modern-day miracle. Then you entered just as I was going to correct him, and between the two of you a perfect escape presented itself. Only it wasn’t perfect … to tell you the truth, it’s been perfectly horrible.” Tears flooded down her cheeks.
“My, oh my … sweet Jesus, please help us muddle through this mess.” Eleanor got up from her chair and pulled Anna into a hug. “There, there, child, no sin is too big for our Jesus to handle.” She hugged Anna tight and wouldn’t let go.
“Anna—”
Eleanor interrupted Harry, “Not now dear … give us a moment. But don’t just sit there. Pray. I’m not in the least bit worried about our Jesus forgiving this dear one. But I can’t say the same for all of our fellowship. Some are going to need a miracle of muteness to shut them up.”
Anna started to tremble, half laughing and half crying. She snorted so loud they all started howling.
“Well, now, that’s just the comic relief we needed. Sometimes God works in mysterious ways.
“Harry, what’s the plan?”
“I think your first suggestion was a solid plan, Eleanor. Let’s pray for wisdom.”
Eleanor drew a chair close to the couch where Harry was seated and escorted Anna over as if she was a fragile piece of pottery. “Sit, dear.” She plunked her jolly girth close to her husband and grabbed all their hands together.
Five minutes turned into ten, and ten into twenty. A sweet communion of voices cried out to the heavenly Father, and peace descended in such a way that silence fell upon them. They basked in the presence of the surreal.
“Whew!” stated Harry. “That was beautiful, just beautiful.” He pulled a rumpled tissue from his pocket and dabbed at one eye. “While we were praying, Anna, some clarity came to me.”
“Normally I like to handle indiscretions of this nature between the couple at hand. Only in extreme cases, when it involves members of leadership who require more accountability, do I require a public apology. But when you let me believe it was Steven’s baby, and that belief turned into a message from the pulpit that a miracle had happened among us, well it became a public affair. Then the whole church rallied around you in prayer and gave out of their generosity … do you see the situation this has put me in?”
Anna nodded in agreement. “I’ll make a public apology.”
“Yes, Anna. I can tell you are sincerely sorry, but I believe that it is necessary.”
“We’ll not expect you to do this until after the baby is born and you are home and rested. But I’ll have to discuss this with the board directly. I can’t guarantee their silence. Although I’ll instruct them to keep it in strictest confidence, sometimes news of this magnitude slips to a spouse and then out into the community.
“Now about the funds—” Pastor Harry scratched his head. His brow knit together.
“I really didn’t want to take the money, but once I let you believe that lie, I felt trapped, especially when you kept insisting it was what Steven would have wanted. The child’s father has already offered to pay that back.”
“Is the father in the picture?”
Anna nodded. “He is now. After that one night, I told Dr. Carmichael I couldn’t see him again.”
“Dr. Carmichael?” Pastor Harry said, scratching his head. “I don’t believe we’ve met.”
“No, he doesn’t go to the church and isn’t a believer. We met a few years ago when Steven needed surgery. And though we never did anything inappropriate when Steven was alive, we did forge a friendship. Apparently, it was a short trip from friendship to a whole lot more.” Anna knew she was blushing by the heat rushing to her cheeks.
“Never you mind the details, dear,” Eleanor piped in. “This is not an inquisition, we’re just trying to understand what you need going forward. And to be clear, Anna, we don’t advocate marriage for any reason other than love, and only to a believer, so please don’t think we’ll put any pressure on you in that way.”
Anna nodded. “That makes good sense. Thank you.”
“So how did Dr. Carmichael find out?” Pastor Harry asked.
“Though Matt tried to contact me, I never responded. Then just recently, I guess God had enough of my lies and sent him to our church. He said it was the first time in his life he had attended church when it wasn’t a wedding or a funeral. I guess God meant business, because Matt took one look at me and instantly knew.
“When you started praying for the safe delivery of Anna and Steven’s baby, he was understandably upset. A few days later, he came knocking.”
Pastor Harry whistled through his teeth. “Anna, you sure have put yourself through the wringer, haven’t you? Can’t imagine the stress you’ve been under—”
“Matt wants to be a father and has offered to help with expenses, so please take the crib back.”
Eleanor was not to be silenced. “The women’s ministry held a bake sale and earned the money for the baby’s crib, so I feel I can speak on their behalf. Anna, you’ve been a loyal member of the church for years. You’ve given of your time, your heart, and your money to anyone in need. Because you’ve made a mistake doesn’t negate that it’s your turn to have a little help. Last time I checked, you still have a little one coming into this world. Nothing’s changed that.”
Anna tried to hold back the tears, but they blinked free of her lashes and splashed down.
“This baby deserves all the love we can give, and the gift is for that precious child. So please, Anna, take it with our love. The message the ladies wanted me to convey when I dropped off this crib is that you are loved, and nothing changes that fact.”
Anna felt like a watering pot. The tears now flowed freely.
“Harry dear, can you put that crib together. It stays!” Eleanor waved her hand in his direction. and he dutifully got up and pulled the box into the nearby nursery.
“Let’s have some tea. Come.” She waved Anna into the kitchen, as if it was her home, and began to fill the kettle with water. “Must be my British heritage, but there’s nothing like a spot of tea to soothe the soul.”
“One more thing, Anna …” Eleanor whirled around with the kettle still in her hand. “Whatever you hear down the road of a negative nature, let me know. I’ll handle it. I expect the congregation to forgive wholeheartedly and no less. Jesus said clearly in his word that we’ve all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. There’s not a one of us who’s perfect. Anyone who gossips and snips about will have to deal with me.” She harrumphed as she pointed with a kettle in one hand and the other hand flying up and down as if she was conducting an orchestra.
“Anna, Harry and I do understand a lot more than meets the eye. We could see your loneliness and pain, and so did God. He grants you mercy and forgiveness, and so must we all, and that’s that.” She laughed as she slammed the kettle on the stove with a bang. “And my emphasis is on the word all.”
Anna smiled at her antics and silently thanked the Lord for the love and true Christian leadership she had in her pastor and his dear, dear wife, Eleanor.
Betty and George sat in shock for a long moment. Anna could hear the tick, tick, tick, of the grandfather clock on the wall.
Betty was the first to speak, which was no surprise. In their relationship, she did the talking, and George nodded in agreement. In the past, Anna had often wondered what he thought, but that night he added his opinion.
“Not Steve
n’s baby, oh my …” Betty shook her head in disbelief. “Well, my dear, although you should’ve told us, I can see how it would be easy to let sleeping dogs lie, as they say.”
Anna waited for the indignation to surface. It usually took a few minutes for most people.
Betty folded and unfolded her hands. A frown knit her brow. “None of us exactly questioned you on the matter, did we, Anna? Although, had we given it some thought with Steven being so sick and all … we should’ve figured it out.”
Here it comes! Anna braced herself.
George ran his hands through his thinning hair and broke the awkward silence. “Well, Anna, you were next thing to sainthood in my book—it’s actually comforting to see you’re human after all.”
Betty smacked him on the arm. “George,” she said, “this is no time to joke around.”
“I’m not joking, Betty. After all the years she looked after Steven, and raised those boys primarily on her own—not to mention the loneliness that went along with that—I tell no lie when I say I thought she sported a halo.”
“Come to think of it, Anna, it’s true. George and I often commented how difficult life must be for you. We marveled at the amazing way in which you held your family together. All the while, we lived our life having fun. We socialized with our friends, went to movies, parties, and went on holidays, while you, dear thing, got so precious little of any of that. Not to mention the warmth of a body next to you at night. I know the last years had to have been … very lonely for the both of you.” Betty’s voice broke.
George took over. “Anna, we don’t condemn you. Steven was gone, and I know you stayed faithful to him until the end. In fact, he was gone in a lot of ways long before he passed away, and still you remained at his side. We watched him check out on life before the cancer took his body, and the whole time we hurt not just for him but for you too.”
They both rose from the couch and walked across the room. Anna rose to her feet and found herself wrapped in the hug of forgiveness.
“We still expect to be every bit the grandparents to this baby. Why, you wouldn’t believe the shopping I’ve already done.”
“Oh, I believe it. I’ve seen the Visa bill,” George said with laughter in his voice.
Anna went home feeling blessed until a call from Mark wiped away the gift of grace like chalk wiped off a board in one swipe. He did not even say hello.
“Jason contacted me the other day. I heard the latest and just want you to know how disappointed I am. I feel you’ve dishonored the family name, and that Dad would be incredibly grieved you could jump into the sack so soon after he passed away. I want nothing to do with that slime ball, Carmichael. His type disgusts me. They prey on weak, foolish women.”
Anna jolted and caught her breath. He thinks I’m weak and foolish.
“Mark, please—”
He continued to talk right over her. “That kid is not full blood, so don’t expect me to come down like I had planned. And don’t try to contact me, because I need time to work this through. You have no idea how hard it is to find out your mother is not who you believed her to be.
“I haven’t a clue how I’m going to tell Lori. I know she’ll be mortified. Thanks for thinking of no one but yourself, Mom.”
Anna tried to respond, but the line went dead.
She hung her head and wept openly. A wave of hopelessness threatened to overwhelm her as she fought against the tsunami of heartache.
The baby had another idea. A sharp pain pressed in, and water splashed down her legs, pooling on the floor. Another pain twisted deep across her abdomen and into her lower back. There was no time for tears or sorrow.
e
Pain ripped through her body in waves. Anna knew she had to get to the hospital. She had no time to agonize over the fact her sister was not available and called the first person that came to mind.
“Matt, it’s Anna. The baby’s coming and I have no one.”
“How far apart are your contractions? Can you wait for me to get there, or should I call an ambulance?”
“About ten to fifteen minutes apart, but my water broke.”
“I’m on my way. Keep your cell beside you, and if the contractions speed up, call 911 immediately.”
Anna sat waiting and was thankful she had packed her overnight bag the day before. This baby wasn’t due for another couple weeks, but she guessed the little one didn’t know that.
Between contractions, she had time to ponder her decision to call Matt. He’d been in the back of her mind from the point she heard her sister’s message, and somehow, she knew God had this planned all along. Matt would be both knowledgeable and supportive. She needed that now.
The front door swung wide and slammed against the doorstop with force as Matt bolted in. His disheveled look gave Anna comic relief. Sprigs of curly hair sprang in every direction, and his T-shirt was inside out. His usual well-put-together-look was lost in his mad dash to her.
She laughingly teased. “Clearly you took your time grooming this morning.”
“I was in emergency surgery all night. I was sleeping when you called. But never mind all that … let’s get you in the car.”
She smiled at the frantic way in which he grabbed her and almost lifted her off her feet.
“Matt, I can walk.”
He stepped back. “Of course, you can … I’m just a little—”
“Undone?” Anna finished.
He ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah. Well, it’s not every day a man becomes a father.”
As she slid into the front seat, and he wrapped a blanket around her legs, she could see that his hands were shaking. “Matt, take a deep breath, calm yourself. I’m not dying. I’m having a baby. Besides, I’m with a competent doctor. Everything should be fiiiiinnnne … oohhhh, that one hurts.” She quit talking and concentrated on her breathing. She could barely remember the ride to the hospital, she was so intent on controlling the pain. The contractions were coming fast and furious.
Wheeled directly into the maternity ward, they wasted no time. One look told the doctor on shift that this baby was waiting for no one. Her family doctor would never get there on time.
“I want an epidural,” Anna cried out between contractions. “I was in labor so long with the other two, and I can’t do that again.” A feeling of panic welled up as another contraction stilled the words, and she buckled in pain.
Matt tried to explain. “Anna, they can’t do an epidural, you’re too far along.”
She sobbed, “I can’t do this Matt. I can’t. I’m exhausted—so much has happened lately and I’m—ohhhhhh—”
Another contraction curled her body into a ball and sweat dripped down her temples. She heard a scream pierce through the air but didn’t recognize it as her own. Pain sliced through her like it was splitting her in two.
Matt held her hand and smoothed a cool cloth over her brow. “You’re doing good, Anna, things are moving along quickly. This won’t take much longer.”
Suddenly, panic filled the room. Words were flying around Anna couldn’t comprehend.
“Too much bleeding. Code 5 stat! Let’s get her into the surgery room now.”
“Matt!” she screamed, when she couldn’t see him. He immediately came into view, but his eyes were wide and wild looking. “I’m here, Anna, I’m here.”
“Don’t let her slip from us,” the attending physician said. “Matt, keep talking to her. Make her understand she needs to fight.”
“Anna, please push, my dear. This baby is right there, just one more push.”
A contraction took over, but Anna’s strength waned. Soft moans slipped from her lips. She tried hard to push, but dizziness pervaded and images blurred.
“We have to get this baby out now. The heart rate is falling. We’re losing her—hemorrhaging—”
Words and phrases swirled a
round her as she closed her eyes. She could hear Matt praying for her and the baby, but Matt didn’t pray.
“She’s too far along for a C-section. We have to decide between baby and mother, Matt.”
“Save Anna,” was the last thing she heard.
He notified Anna’s sister and sat by her side holding her limp, still hands within his. Matt didn’t want to leave but knew upon their arrival he wouldn’t be welcome.
“We’ll take it from here, Dr. Carmichael.” Lana said in voice as hard as stone. “Had it not been for you, she wouldn’t be lying here now.”
Her husband interrupted, “Lana, this is not the time nor the place.”
Matt hung his head in regret and got up to leave. His weary legs carried him down the hall to the nursery. If he couldn’t be with Anna, he would be with his baby girl, and no one could prevent that.
Taken with forceps, yet somehow not bruised, Matt gazed down at his perfect daughter. In awe, he smiled at the most incredible gift life had ever given him.
He donned a gown in preparation and signaled to the nurse he was ready. She brought the sleeping child and placed her gently in his arms. “Oh, she’s so tiny.”
The nurse nodded in agreement. “She’s beautiful, Dr. Carmichael.”
“That she is,” he said, as a tired smile split his face.
He sat in the nearby rocker and soaked in her loveliness.
“We have to pray for your mama, little one. She has to come back to us.” Giant tears coursed down his face, as he rocked back and forth. He would’ve never jeopardized Anna’s life to have a baby, but holding this precious gift in his arms filled him with awe. In that moment, he knew without reservation that the beautiful baby in his arms was God’s creation. Such perfection did not happen by chance.
Matt had never given in to emotion. In fact, he had prided himself on being a man of scientific thinking and rational behavior, but holding his newborn daughter changed everything. Pride flew out the window and faith flooded in. He understood how dangerously close he had come to losing them both and credited God where science and knowledge had failed.
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