Silent tears streamed. In humbleness, he thanked God for the life of his baby girl and begged God to save Anna’s life for the sake of them both.
Without anyone to explain repentance, he suddenly understood what Anna had been trying to tell him. What they did that night had been of the flesh, undisciplined and selfish. He wanted, no, needed God to forgive him for that and a whole lot more. There in the nursery with his baby in his arms, he surrendered his life to Jesus. Peace like nothing he had ever experienced flooded in.
The little one squirmed, and a tiny hand stretched out. She was hungry and wet. Soft mewing sounds quickly escalated into a healthy scream. One of the nurses rushed to help, but he stayed close—he wanted to learn how to attend to her needs.
Anna’s family, including both her sons, the pastor and his wife, and many friends, gathered to pray in the nearby waiting room. Only one person was allowed to be with her at a time. Matt would’ve loved to join in the prayer but didn’t feel welcome. He ached to see her but dared not ask.
To the pastor’s credit, he came in search of Matt. He found him gazing through the window at his sleeping child. “I see you have a healthy baby girl.”
“Yes, she’s an amazing gift.” Matt’s voice wavered and cracked. He stifled the tears and choked on his words. “But, of course, with a mother like hers …” a muscle jerked in his jaw and a groan slid out. “Her baby needs her, I need her.”
The pastor’s warm arm circled his shoulder. “We could pray about that together, Matt.”
“I have been praying.”
“Well, it never hurts to do it with a friend.”
The genuine warmth of this man drew Matt. There in the hallway, Matt did something he’d never done before. He prayed out loud. He didn’t care that his voice carried and echoed down the corridor, he cared only that Anna would be restored. Even if she never was his Anna, more than life itself, he wanted their baby to know her mother.
The pastor slipped away for a moment and returned with his wife. “We want you to take our turn and go in the room to visit Anna. We think she may respond to your voice, and I’ve talked to the family and have their consent.”
Matt couldn’t believe his ears. He was down the hall and in her room before they had time to second-guess their decision.
She stirred him beyond reason. His heart ached to see her frail and pallid complexion lost against the starkness of the white sheet.
“Anna, my love, we have a daughter. Please wake up. She’s so beautiful, and remember, I get to give her the middle name Joy.
“What a miracle. Her life is an answer to prayer. Yes, the proud Dr. Carmichael cried out to God, and He answered, Anna. We almost lost her …” He could no longer speak through the knot in his throat. He smoothed his hand up and down her arm and ran his fingers tenderly down her cheek.
“Anna, come back to us. Your baby girl needs you. I need you—”
Anna could feel the pull of something much stronger than her. The light and peace that beckoned her forward faded. She could hear his voice and feel the agony of physical pain at the same time. She longed to run toward the light, but words tugged her in the opposite direction.
“Anna, come back to us. Your baby girl needs you.”
“I need you—”
Try as she might she couldn’t reach through the haze. Oblivion pulled her under.
Her sister’s voice pounded in Anna’s head.
“She’s moving. She’s waking up.”
Anna struggled to lift her heavy eyelids, and when she finally succeeded, she awoke to a group of people gathered around. She wondered why. As bits and pieces of information returned she remembered … Her hands reached for her stomach, the large mound was gone. Terror ripped through as her heart began to beat wildly.
“My baby, where’s my baby?”
Her sister patted her hand. “You have a healthy baby girl, but you sure gave us a fright.”
“Where is she? I need to see her.”
The doctor pushed his way through the crowd.
“You’ll all have to leave. Go home, get some rest. You’ve been here a long time and need some sleep. Mrs. Clarke is safe now, but she needs time to recuperate before she can handle this many people.” He spoke in a firm, deliberate tone that didn’t allow room for argument.
He turned to Anna and said, “I’ll send for your baby immediately.”
One by one they kissed her, said a few words, and left the room. She felt exhausted.
The doctor stood like a sentinel on guard. He shuffled the last one out before he spoke.
“Anna, your baby is healthy and strong. She’s a real fighter, just like her mom. We almost lost you. You hemorrhaged heavily and your little girl was stuck in the birth canal with the cord wrapped around her neck. Even with our modern-day technology, it was a miracle that you both survived.”
“How long have I been unconscious?”
“Three days.”
Anna was shocked. It felt like a couple hours.
“You had us worried, that’s for sure.
“On another note, Anna, I have to ask you something more of a personal nature. Matt and I are friends, but you’re my patient. He’s told me a little of your story, but I have to ask, are you okay with him in here? It’s apparent your family seems to think otherwise.”
“Yes, doctor, Matt is welcome.”
He smiled. “Good. Then I’ll bring them in directly, but your visit must be short. Let’s raise this bed and get you propped up a bit.
“I’m going to order some blood work, and we’ll work hard at getting you home as soon as possible.”
“Oh, and make sure that you don’t try to hold the baby yourself just yet. Let Matt help you.”
Anna nodded in agreement. “How long have you and Matt been friends?” she asked.
“Matt and I go way back. Congratulations to you both, by the way.” He raised the bed while he chatted, and positioned the pillow behind her head. “I must say it’s all a bit of a surprise. In fact, the whole hospital is buzzing with the news that Dr. Carmichael is a father.” He laughed and then added, “It’s quite comical to watch the single women literally wilt at the news. Everyone is quite curious about the mysterious woman who finally stole his heart.
“I’ll go get them both. Matt hasn’t slept in the last three days waiting for this moment.”
Tears filled her eyes as Matt carried their child toward her. He looked haggard but somehow different. He lowered the baby in his arms so she could see her child for the first time.
“Oh, Matt, she’s incredible.”
“Incredible doesn’t even come close to expressing how I feel,” he said with conviction.
Anna looked at the two of them together with his smile fixated on their little one and marveled at the play of emotion she could see dance across his face.
“Are you okay if I sit beside you here?” he said, as he patted the bed. “I’ll help you hold her?”
Anna nodded.
He draped one arm around her shoulder and the other cradled her arm that held their sleeping child. The heat from his arm penetrated into hers causing a warmth and comfort.
The two of them stared at their child in wonder.
“I had to come up with a name for the records, but given the circumstances you can readily change it.”
She looked at him expectantly.
“I named her Melody Joy. I know this may sound corny to admit, but she makes me want to sing for joy, and she’s only three days old. I can’t believe how she has affected me, how much I love her already. I’ll never be the same.” His words drifted into a whisper as he stroked a finger softly across the baby’s cheek.
Anna shifted enough to look directly into his warm blue eyes. He met hers full on. What she saw there scared her, and she lowered her gaze. “What a beautiful name, Matt. I love
it! It’ll bring special meaning to our daughter’s life when she hears how her father named her. Little girls love those kinds of stories.”
“What do you know about little girls?” He chuckled. “You had two boys.”
“I was a little girl once upon a time.”
“Right you are.”
He smiled.
She smiled.
As if on cue, little Melody Joy opened her eyes. She yawned and stretched her tiny mouth open and then shut. Her scrunched up face sent a warning before she bellowed. The fact she was hungry was evident to the whole ward. Anna laughed and planted a kiss on her tiny cheeks.
The nurse bustled in. “Well, Mrs. Clarke, do you think you’re up to trying to breast feed? The baby’s been introduced to the bottle out of necessity, but if you’re willing to try, we could see if little Melody makes a go of it.”
Anna nodded in agreement, and Matt stood prepared to leave.
“You’ll have to help her hold the baby. Anna is still too weak,” he said to the nurse.
“No,” she said with a point of her finger, “You’ll have to help her. This is something that Anna will need help with in the next couple of days, and there’s not always enough staff to accommodate. Besides, you’ve held that baby nonstop for the last few days, so this shouldn’t be too difficult for you.”
Heat rose from the neck of Anna’s hospital gown to her hairline. There was no way that the nurse could understand their history. She most likely assumed they lived together like most of the world did these days and would think that things of an intimate nature were old news. Anna squirmed in discomfort.
The screaming child and the forceful nurse made the decision for them. She opened Anna’s gown, and before Anna could blink, the child was placed at her breast and sucking madly. Anna could feel her milk come in and the baby relax into a rhythm.
“Ah, this one’s not fussy, she’ll be just fine.” The nurse nodded with satisfaction. “Some little ones won’t allow a change in nipple, but your little girl is a fighter. And with that kind of personality, she’ll give you two a run for your money in the years to come.” Chuckling, she made her way to the door.
“I’ll leave you, Anna, in Dr. Carmichael’s excellent care. He can bring the baby back to the nursery when you’re finished.” She exited with a march to her step.
“Well, Dr. Carmichael,” Anna said, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, “we have a beautiful daughter and a very bossy nurse.” Gazing down at baby, contentment filled her soul, and she felt an odd emotion she had not felt for a very long time. Happiness.
“Welcome, Melody Joy. Welcome, my love.”
Matt chucked and asked, “Was that second endearment for me? Because I’ll take it.”
The only answer she gave him was a jab in his side with her elbow.
A small reprieve, a window of peace, and a sliver of joy fell between the pages of Anna’s life before the daunting task of disclosure became necessary. Anna didn’t want to show up at church with little Melody and have people fawn over the baby referring to Steven’s child. Nor did she want the ladies to organize a baby shower without the truth. The final chapter had to be told, and she was in total agreement.
Pastor Harry and Eleanor entered the church office where they had agreed to meet and pray beforehand.
“Anna, if there was another way to handle this …” said Pastor Harry. A troubled light stole into his eyes.
“I know, Pastor Harry. I thank you for your consideration, but as you pointed out, this is a rather public affair. Besides, I want to be free from all lies, and this final admission of guilt will finish the deed.”
Eleanor patted her shoulder. “You’re a brave girl, my dear. May God grant you the strength.”
Matt sat in the back of the church that Sunday morning. As the music played, his mind drifted to their conversation the night before. He had offered to stand beside her, but she would have none of it. A heated discussion had ensued.
“No, Matt, you didn’t lie to these people.”
“But without me, there wouldn’t have been a reason to lie.”
“Matt, you’re not a believer. You don’t have the accountability I have, especially after all the years I’ve been a part of these people’s lives. I let them down, and I, alone, need to ask for forgiveness.”
Matt longed to tell her that he had called out to God and become a believer that day in the hospital but held back. He didn’t want her to think that the only reason he came to the Lord was to try and win her affection. He hoped and prayed his life would reveal a new Matthew Carmichael.
Pastor Harry cleared his throat and picked up his Bible.
“Congregation, today I want each and every one of you to pay special attention. How many of you brought your Bibles or have the Bible on your phone?
Hands went up all over the sanctuary.
“Good. Because I want everyone to turn to John 8:7-11, and we’re going to read together. And no turning on any games …” The congregation laughed, and a rustling of pages and beeping of phones filled the sanctuary as he waited patiently.
“First, I’ll set the stage and give the background of this short reading.”
“A woman is brought to Jesus accused of adultery by a pack of angry men with rocks in hand eager to stone her. I always wonder where her partner in crime was? The men in that culture sure did get away with more than the women.”
Matt squirmed in his seat.
“But let’s read together how Jesus wisely responds to this dilemma.”
“If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” He stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go and leave your life of sin.”
He paused, took the Bible in his hand, and held it up. “We’re going to have a little interaction today. Tell me, what is the key point of this passage?
“Come on now, I’m waiting. Give me your thoughts.”
Short answers came from all over the sanctuary.
“Human failure.”
“The sin of adultery.”
“Forgiveness.”
“The fact we all sin.”
Pastor Harry encouraged. “Okay that’s basic, but let’s drill down. How do you think the woman felt? Give me some words that convey her possible feelings.”
“Fear.”
“Shame.”
“Guilt.”
“Embarrassment.”
“Condemnation.”
Pastor Harry nodded. “Good, good. And how do you think she felt after her accusers left and Jesus said He did not condemn her?”
Matt could tell the congregation was not used to this kind of message, but was catching on.
“Relieved.”
“Free.”
“Loved.”
“Forgiven.”
“Inspired to live a better life.”
“Ah, beautiful answers, and I have one more question to ask. What do you think Jesus was writing in the dust with his finger while He waited for the mob to drop their stones and leave?”
Silence filled the room. No one had an answer.
He waited so long Matt thought it awkward. People began to shift in their seats.
Pastor Harry spoke with authority. “The answer to this question is worth dissecting, and I ask because the message can be summed up in its truth.
“Any ideas?”
Silence.
“Though it does not tell us, I believe Jesus was writing one sin after another. A secret sin in each
of these men’s life that they believed no one could possibly know. The fear of having their own sin exposed sent them running.
“The point here is not the sin of adultery, or any specific sin, it’s the fact that we’ve all sinned. In other words, congregation, how would you like your worst sin made public? I want you to stop and actually think about that. What if I asked you, John, or you, Heather, or you, Linda,” he pointed out into the congregation, “to come up here right now and confess a sin only God knows, which of course I will not—but how would you feel?”
Stillness filled the room. Matt looked around in astonishment. These people were visibly affected. Some squirmed, some shifted, while others had tears sliding down their cheeks. Most just looked down, making no eye contact with the pastor.
“We’re all in need of our Savior daily. We’ve all failed. We’ll never be free of sin until we walk into glory, but what we do have is enough. As Jesus said, ‘go and sin no more,’ with no condemnation, He lived out an example for us to emulate. We must offer forgiveness and encourage a sin-free life by being there for each other in times of weakness.”
He paused with a catch in his voice. “I’m unwilling to allow this morning to be just another sermon and you tune me out. I need you to hear and follow with action.
“Love and forgiveness are two of the most important qualities we have as Christians to give to one another. The world will only be drawn to Jesus through our love. Can we do this family? Can we love unconditionally?
“Let’s end with the Lord’s Prayer, but before we begin,” he cautioned, “I want each of you to think through each word as you pray. Don’t recite it by memory. Pray it with your heart. Pay special attention to the instruction on forgiveness.”
Matt bit back the tremble to his lips but couldn’t contain the tears that snaked their way to the cleft of his chin. Never had he heard anything so beautiful in all his life as those powerful words prayed in unison. The congregation filled the rafters with voices full of passion. He brushed the tears free as amens rose to the heavens in agreement.
Anna's Secret Page 13
