Instacrush: A Rookie Rebels Novel

by Meader, Kate

  “His heart is weak. Weakened more since our latest job dried up.”

  Her own heart squeezed. She knew it was pure manipulation on the part of her mother, but like all family, she had the capacity to push buttons that no one else knew the shape of.

  “You could just claim disability. Or get a job.”

  She practically heard her mother’s head shake. “Yes, that’s what we’ll do. Eloise, I don’t want to fight. So we’ve always seen things differently, but there’s no reason why we can’t be friends.”

  Friends? She’d wanted a mother, not a grifter mentor.

  “I don’t wish you any harm, Mom. I just don’t want you to hurt anyone.”

  “Yes, well, we all have to make a living. There’s predator and prey. You’ll do well to remember that.”

  What did that make her? She didn’t want to be either.

  “Give my love to Dad,” she said finally because there didn’t seem to be anything left.

  “You’ll always be one of us. I know you’d rather not be, but you’re part of the fabric of this family. Don’t shut us out.”

  “As long as I turn a blind eye?”

  “That moral compass of yours is such a drag, my love. If you hear from your sister, let me know.” She hung up.

  Elle felt ill, and it wasn’t entirely because of her condition. How could she even think of introducing a baby into a world where his grandparents would be grasping at every opportunity a connection like Theo would provide? She couldn’t twist Theo up in her fucktangle of a life.

  Hard to believe that four nights ago she’d sat in this swivel chair after telling Theo the news that would entwine them forever. His reaction had floored her. She’d expected he’d try to steer her in whichever direction suited him, but so far, he’d been nothing but respectful. Unlike her, he’d been raised right.

  Last night, meeting Theo’s grandmother and seeing the oodles of love they had for each other had inspired in her such a yearning. When she came home, she’d cried for an hour. She wanted someone to love her that much, without strings, without expectation.

  Maybe … it was selfish but this baby would love her unconditionally.

  She wouldn’t need Theo or anyone else because the baby would be the center of her world. No man or avaricious family members could fill that gap for her. She would be the anchor for her child and the child would be the anchor for her.

  A strange calm descended over her, and not even the buzz in the bar which signaled a crazy night ahead, could throw her off stride. She needed to be clear about her needs to Theo. No doubt he’d want to throw money at the problem. Fine, she’d take a few dollars for the baby but when all was said and done, this was her responsibility. Her opportunity to find purpose.

  Feeling like the threads of her previously-slippery control were reweaving and giving her strength, she headed out to the bar, grabbing another crate of beer as she went.

  “Put that down now!”

  Shocked at the harsh tone, she looked up into the furious moss-green eyes of a Rebels D-man. Tina had stopped a Guinness mid-pour. A couple of bar patrons watched curiously.

  “Excuse me?” Elle asked.

  “I mean it,” he gritted out. “Don’t make me come around there.”

  Anxious to divert the increasing attention to them, Elle put the crate down. “Happy?”

  Theo was not happy, if his dramatic hand-wave to include Tina was any indication. “Those crates are too heavy.”

  Elle’s boss screwed up her mouth, trying to get a read on the situation. “Are they?”

  “No!”

  “Yes!”

  Tina looked amused. “How about I leave you kids to decide for yourselves?” She headed off to the other end of the bar to deal with someone less trying who wasn’t losing her money.

  Elle growled. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “You’ve got to be careful,” he hissed. “Lifting crates of beer is not being careful.”

  “Not an invalid, Kershaw. Can still do all the things and I’d rather you didn’t shout to the entire bar your concerns about my condition. Clear case of none-ya as in none of your—”

  “Yeah, yeah, I get it. Though I don’t agree.”

  “Objection noted. Now what can I get you?”

  He rattled off his order—he often paid the entire tab for the team on any given night because he was the Merriam-Webster definition of “sucker.” While she worked, he took a seat at the bar, his watchful eye giving her tingles. When she looked up, he flashed a cheeky grin and her stomach wriggled predictably.

  “Stop it,” she muttered.

  “Stop what?”

  “You know.”

  He grinned. He knew.

  “Aurora was impressed with you.”

  The compliment felt nicer than it should have. “She seems like a cool lady.”

  “She’s the best. No better woman to have on your side.”

  She placed two bottles of IPA, two pints of Bud, and a cider on the bar. “Start a tab?”

  “Sure.”

  Tina stopped on a pass by. “Nice video this morning, Theo. You wearing those hockey butt pants tonight?”

  “Oh, you liked those?” Chuckling, he stood and twirled, showcasing his lovely denim-clad ass. “Jeans tonight. Those pants are for game days, though people sure did seem to enjoy the fashion show. One of my most popular posts!”

  Her boss nudged her. “You catch Theo’s Insta video this morning?”

  You mean the one where he did lunges with his amazing butt front and center to advertise special pants that made his ass look like it had been sculpted from Carrara marble? That video?

  “I’ve better things to be doing than wasting my time watching dumb videos.”

  Tina laughed. “Struck me dumb, all right. If ever there was a reason to waste your time, watching that video is it.” She headed off, visions of hot hockey butts dancing in her eyes.

  “The video’s archived on my feed,” Theo said slyly. “Of course, Aurora and the Tarts have been spreading the word.”

  She suspected she was going to regret this. “What about your parents? You don’t talk about them.”

  “My mom died when I was in high school—drug overdose—and my dad was never in the picture.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. That must have been really tough for you.” Yet here he was, a ray of mothereffing sunshine who didn’t seem to let anything get him down. Where did he find the energy? “You don’t talk to your dad?”

  His brow darkened, and for a moment he looked harsher. Anti-Theo. “He knows about me but he’s not interested. I was raised by Aurora and didn’t even know that Candy was my mom until I was older. Thought she was my sister.”

  Holy wow. That was a heckuva lot more family drama than she expected—and she knew family drama.

  “I didn’t handle it so well when I found out and …” He looked at his beer bottle, obviously ill at ease. “So, I understand about deadbeat dads, about parents who don’t step up. But I’ve also seen the other side: a family that’s built on love and strength. Aurora did that for me.” He lowered his voice. “I’m ready to be whatever you and Hatch need.”

  His honesty toppled her. Someone who went through life stripping his heart bare to all and sundry was such a stark contrast to the dark secrets she worked hard to keep in place. It gave her hope that their baby would inherit Theo’s open, carefree nature.

  “Hatch? You’ve already nicknamed it?”

  “I can’t keep calling it Blobby. That was my first thought, but it seemed kind of generic so I thought about dinosaurs and how much they mean to us”—he winked—”and did you know baby dinosaurs are called hatchlings, so Hatch seems like a cool name, don’t you think? Now I’m not trying to pressure you, I swear. I just want you to be aware that I’m prepared to do this and—”

  “Okay.”

  He nodded and released a world-weary sigh. “Yeah, I get it. Shut up, Theo, right?”

  “No. Well, yes, but also, okay. L
et’s …” She couldn’t here. He’d go nuts and she had rules to lay down. “Could you step into the back for a second?”

  She sent a pleading look at Tina, who waved her off again, completely over her drama. A minute later, they were in the pub’s office.

  “If we do this, Theo—”

  He cupped her shoulders and gripped tight. “Do you mean—are you saying—Ellie, are you agreeing to do this? To have a baby with me?”

  “Lower your voice, you lunatic. We need to go over the ground rules.”

  “Sure. Rules. Let’s sit down.” He guided (manhandled) her into the swivel chair, then grabbed a step stool and opened it so he could sit on it. His grin was joy itself, and she prayed he’d never lose that feeling. “You want to have this baby with me?”

  “I think I do.”

  “Okay, that’s good. Better than good. Amazing. And do you feel pressured to do this? Has anyone been giving you a hard time? Jordan? Hunt?” He looked horrified. “Me? Is it because of my sad sack upbringing story?”

  It didn’t not help, but she had decided before that. “No, I’m making up my own mind. I think we should do this, but you don’t owe me anything. Those were my faulty condoms and this is on me.”

  “Not going down that road. We’re both on the hook here and I will be 100% involved. Now, let’s run down these rules of yours.”

  The rules. She had to protect both the baby and Theo, so rule number one was going to be a doozy—and she suspected he wasn’t going to like it.

  She inhaled the deepest breath of her life.

  “I’d like to keep it a secret. At least until the baby is born.”

  * * *

  Theo had expected Elle would be difficult. The woman was like an opposing forward line barreling toward the Rebels defense while they were a man down. Liable to check you hard and knock the wind out of you. But this was completely bananas.

  “Have you forgotten I’m famous?”

  “Insta-famous. Which is like fake famous, isn’t it? Besides, you’re going to be so busy with the games and if you guys make the playoffs and the finals, that’s what? Early June? I’ll be five and a half months by then. If it’s easier, I could go away somewhere so I’m not distracting you.”

  She’d insulted him about five different ways there.

  Maybe she was embarrassed to be carrying his kid. That had to be it. Sure he was hot and talented, so the child would win the genetic lottery for looks and athleticism, but he wasn’t the sharpest blade on the ice. Your typical jock. Hell, he knew that. Nick Isner had known it, too. Elle was a blazing smarty-pants, so hopefully the kid would get her side for intellect.

  “You want to keep it secret?”

  “I just don’t want all your hockey butt-adoring fans to start hating on me. It won’t be good for the baby.”

  He’d do anything necessary to keep her feeling calm and stable during the pregnancy. At this early juncture, it was easy enough to agree, especially as it was something he might not be able to control after a while anyway.

  “Okay, we can do that, but eventually we’ll have to tell people. Babies are kind of hard to hide. They’re loud and stinky and messy. Not to put you off or anything because I’ll handle all that. Diapers and feedings and everything.”

  Her skepticism knew no bounds. “While you’re on the road?”

  “You could come with me! Or maybe I’ll hire someone to help you. That might be a better plan. I just know I’m going to miss yo—the kid when I’m on the road.”

  Suffering Jesus, he was already forming some sort of attachment here—and not just to the hatchling.

  “We’ve time to figure all that out,” she said, very businesslike. “But for now, let’s carry on as normal. You do your thing, I’ll do mine, and we can do check-ins to make sure we’re both handling it okay. And it’s not as if you don’t have anyone to talk to about it. Hunt knows.”

  “Yeah, he’s going to love the bro-chats about babies. The guy hates me for knocking up his precious baby sister.”

  “Which I’m not.”

  “Tell him that! The guy is super protective of you and while that’s nice to have in your corner, I can take care of everything from here on out. Anything you need, anything you want, and I’ll be there.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Why do I get the impression you’re talking about more than sour patch candy and foot rubs?”

  Oh, she got that, did she? He fell back on his other skill set—the art of seduction. “Whatever you need, baby.”

  “Back to the ground rules.”

  “Aw, hell—I mean, Elle.” He grinned.

  “No funny business.”

  “I can’t tell jokes?”

  She sighed impatiently. “Sex, Theo. We’re not going to get busy. Together. I mean, you can—I’m not going to stop you from enjoying yourself.”

  “Sounds like a trap. I don’t want you having sex with anyone else while you’re carrying my kid, which means I won’t be either. You need a man-made orgasm, you call me.”

  Color heated her cheeks. “Theo! You can’t just stop me from seeing other people. Or offer to provide a dial-an-orgasm service.”

  “You seeing anyone right now?”

  “Uh, no. But using you to scratch an itch seems—”

  “Smart?”

  “Tacky.”

  “It’s not. Just think of me as a one-stop shop. Foot rubs, ice-cream, insomnia cookies, funny videos, Llamas classes—”

  “Lamaze.”

  He knew that. “Right, I was checking to see if you’d heard of it. And the service includes orgasms. As much oral as you need. No need to reciprocate because you’ve probably got a killer gag reflex going and sucking my dick might not be good for you. That’s okay, I can make that sacrifice for a few months. I will not be sleeping with anyone else and neither will you.”

  Shaking her head in wonder, she folded her arms. “You’re a lot bossier than I remember.”

  “Oh, I can be bossy in bed, too. All part of the service.” He grinned, knowing he’d scored major points here. So the secrecy bothered him. Aurora would eviscerate him if he didn’t fess up ASAP, but for now he just needed to get Elle past the point of no return.

  “We’re really doing this,” she said, her voice tinged with awe.

  He curled his hands around her much smaller ones. They felt rough, like she’d worked her ass off for a long time. From now on, he’d be taking care of her. She wouldn’t need to work so hard anymore.

  “Yes, we are. And it’s going to be epic.”

  14

  Theo parked his SUV in the parking lot of the Riverbrook Medical Clinic and turned to a fuming Elle.

  “This can’t be good for the baby,” he observed.

  She slid a sharp glance at him. “You’re the one making my blood pressure go through the roof. I don’t know why I’m letting you bully me into this.”

  “Because I’ve compromised on your stuff so you need to compromise on mine. This OB comes highly-recommended. I’ve done the research.”

  “But it’s such a waste of money. I already have healthcare as a veteran, so why are we paying out of network to see some fancy doc?”

  “Because this is my kid, too, and if I want to spend my money this way, I will.” Before she could respond, he hopped out of the car and around to the other side. She was already out and glaring at him for daring to be chivalrous. Sometimes there was no winning with Elle.

  He still liked being her baby daddy, though.

  “You saw all the great reviews,” he said.

  “I did. But—”

  “Elle.” He placed his hands on her shoulders. “I want to be involved. I want to be here for you and Hatch, and I can’t think of a better use for my bash-a-puck cash than ensuring our peanut has the best possible start in life. Can you indulge me on this?” He pushed her hair behind her ear and used the moment to cup her neck. Her skin was so soft there.

  He didn’t imagine her shiver.

  “It would be better if
you put the money you’re spending on an expensive OB into a trust fund or something for the kid. Something I can’t touch.”

  What a weird thing to say. It wasn’t the first time she’d raised the possibility that she might be perceived as a gold digger. Odder still was Elle’s desire for privacy, which felt way out of proportion. He understood she was wary of his fans and the media, but there was something hinky about this whole situation.

  “That’s next.”

  “It is?”

  He cradled her elbow and steered her toward the clinic’s entrance. “I’ll be talking to my lawyer. You’ll both be fine, no matter what happens.”

  “No matter what happens? What does that mean?”

  “If the team bus crashes or I have an allergic reaction to Jorgensen’s herring or another brain aneurysm strikes me down.”

  “Is that likely?”

  “Jorgensen does like his herring.”

  She stopped and faced him. “No. The brain thing.”

  “I get scans but you never know. Rest assured, you and the baby will be taken care of. I’ve no plans to go anywhere so you and me? Forever linked by this kid.” He rubbed her stomach because this seemed like the one moment he might have a chance to. The baby was at approximately eight weeks now, and there was a slight curve to her belly. The books he’d read said it was too soon to feel a baby bump, but his hands knew better.

  She placed a palm over his, and it felt nice to be connected even for this briefest moment. “Just worry about the baby, financially and all that. I don’t need anything. I can provide for myself.”

  “You’re kind of a package deal.”

  Her frown conjured storms in her blue-gray eyes. “We’re not. Any money you put in trust or aside for the baby, just make sure it’s handled by lawyers. They pay all the expenses directly. It shouldn’t go through my hands.”

  Maybe she’d grown up in a religious cult, where money was the root of all evil.

  “Let’s not worry about it. Right now, I want to see if this kid has the makings of a good D-man.”

  * * *

  This kid, future D-man or not, was going to end up costing a fortune.

  The OB Elle had seen for the confirmation appointment a couple of weeks ago should have been fine, but oh no! Not good enough for child of The Theo Kershaw. This pricy doc better have gold-plated stirrups to justify whatever she was charging.