Onyx: Love

by J. S. Lee

  I was at one in a corner with Jiwon and Youngbin, waiting impatiently for my fish and chips to arrive. The room was full of happy chatter, particularly because MinMin was back. I was watching him with mild concern. MinMin was the quietest member of Onyx off stage. He liked to keep to himself and he usually had some form of hand-held console in his hands. Now, he looked completely overwhelmed at all the questions that were being fired at him.

  “Guys, I love you, but I’m going to move.” I was already on my feet when I said that, not sticking around for a response as my mind settled into needing to complete my mission. I moved around, weaving between the tables and chairs until I got to MinMin. I gently tapped him on the shoulder, trying not to startle him. “I’m sorry to disturb you,” I said as I crouched down beside him. The table grew silent. “Would you mind swapping with me? I need to talk to JongB?”

  MinMin’s eyes grew wide in alarm, but then, he glanced over his shoulder at where I had been pointing, and visibly relaxed. “Of course.”

  I let him grab his drink then slipped into his vacant seat. I glanced around the two tables that had been pushed together and beamed. “What did I miss?” Ina and Eunhae, clearly annoyed that I had interrupted the conversation, shook their heads. The next thing I knew, they were separating the tables. “Ouch,” I muttered.

  JongB leaned over. “They’re just jealous.”

  “Jealous?” I scoffed. “Of what?”

  “Are you serious?” JongB asked, arching an eyebrow.

  “Don’t make it sound like that,” I told him, although my attention was on the stylist and makeup artist. I really needed to make an effort with them. I was spending most of my free time with Onyx and not really speaking to the other staff members. It was no wonder they were off with me. They probably thought I was some form of groupie…

  Well, fuck. I hadn’t even thought about that. My concerns had always been with the public seeing me spend all my time with Onyx, but never their own staff. I knew Ina had caught an earful from Sungmin after mine and CX’s plane adventures, but I was doing nothing to help myself.

  “Are you OK?” JongB asked me, breaking my thoughts by waving his hand in front of my face.

  I blew out a breath as I reached for the wine. “There’s a lot going on these days.” It wasn’t that I wasn’t prepared to share what was on my mind, but given how eighty percent of my thoughts were consumed by Onyx, in the middle of a pub was not the best place to discuss them.

  “What do you want to see in London?” CX asked, pulling his stool over.

  “Onyx.”

  “You know where it’s at!” JongB cried, holding a hand up for me to high five.

  I ignored him as my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and read the message from Jiwon. 4. Before I could respond, he had sent another message. That black number. Wear that and only that and come to my room later.

  “You’re blushing,” JongB cried, trying to lean over and read the message. I quickly closed the app and stuck it in my pocket. “No fair. I thought we had the upper hand on the phone sex.”

  “Not cool,” I muttered, despite the fact I wanted to grin.

  “You’re embarrassed?” CX asked, carefully. “I thought you liked it too.”

  “Liked it?” I repeated, keeping my voice low. “Liked it? Dude, I loved it, and I’m all down for a repeat, trust me. But…” I pointed my finger at Ina’s back and gave them both a pointed look.

  Both of them instantly looked guilty. “Yeah, fair point,” JongB agreed. He tilted his head tapping thoughtfully at his chin. “Maybe we need a code word for S. E. X.” He spelled sex out in English, like we were surrounded by children.

  “It’s a good job they can’t speak English.”

  JongB’s eyes lit up. “We should keep the dirty talk to English!”

  “I think it’s probably safer to keep the dirty talk on the other end of the phone,” CX said, so quietly, in Japanese, I could barely hear him.

  “I am down for- FISH AND CHIPS!” JongB cried as a waitress walked in carrying two plates.

  “I love your priorities,” I laughed.

  JongB’s expression switched to serious in an instant. “Food, Kate. Food.” He took a plate as the waitress leaned over. “I never joke about food… what’s the green pile of mush?”

  I stared at the pile on my plate, unsure myself. CX, a little braver, was prodding it with a fork. He took a tentative mouthful. “Peas.”

  “Did they chew them and spit them out on the plate?” JongB asked, clearly disgusted by their presence. “That is not how peas should look.”

  “They don’t taste too bad,” I said. “But I don’t like the texture.” Fish and chips were great. I could see why the British loved them. Mushy peas, as I discovered they were, not so much.

  Unfortunately, with full bellies, a few drinks, and a warm room, the jetlag seemed to hit us all hard, at the same time. I spotted MinMin, leaning against Youngbin, fast asleep, at the same time Sungmin did. “It’s time to go. We arrived early so we could all start to adjust to the European time zones. A good night’s sleep should help reset clocks,” the manager declared.

  “I need to get my laptop fixed,” I said shaking my head. Tired as I was, I was desperately behind on the photographs and London’s were going to be added to the list very soon. As understanding as Sungmin and Holly were being, I didn’t want to let Onyx’s Gems wait any longer.

  “I’ll go with her!” JongB and CX both offered.

  Sungmin shot them down with a disapproving stare. “No,” he said, firmly.

  “But my phone is broken!” JongB pouted, reaching into his pocket.

  Sungmin rounded on him. “So help me, if you get your phone out and throw it on the floor, I will make you keep it that way until we get back to Seoul.”

  JongB’s mouth slowly dropped open.

  “I think Sungmin is done with your shit,” I told him, earning my own glare from the manager. I gave him a sheepish smile. “I really do need to go to a store.”

  “I’ll go,” Xiao offered. “Given everything that went down in America, Kate shouldn’t be walking around by herself.”

  “That man is locked up in a US prison,” Sungmin responded, but I could tell he was thinking the same thing. That did wonders for my confidence. “Do you have your laptop with you?”

  I nodded. I had made sure to slip it in my bag before we had left as I had already decided I was going earlier.

  “Hyungnim, I really would like to go with Kate,” CX said. “The charging wire for my phone has split and I need a new one. Plus, it will give MinMin a chance to get some sleep.”

  Sungmin looked to Xiao who shrugged. “I don’t mind, so long as Kate doesn’t go by herself,” Xiao told him.

  제 3 장

  Please Don’t

  We took the Underground into the center of London, navigating through the thick crowds to the store. We didn’t have an appointment, so we got booked in. When I discovered we had an hour to kill, I quickly sent Sungmin a message to let him know, then suggested to CX we go for a walk.

  Seeing as we had the day after the concert to explore London a bit, we decided to keep close to where the store was and leave the sights until the others were there. Somehow, we ended up in Chinatown, sipping bubble teas. Being there made me nervous. I saw more than one K-pop hoodie, and I was sure I saw an Onyx logo.

  CX wasn’t bothered at all. “Why would I be?” he returned, when I asked him. “I blend in here. Besides, I don’t mind chatting to fans if they recognize me.”

  He might not mind, but Sungmin would. And by default, I also wasn’t wanting that. At least CX wasn’t trying to hold my hand. We wandered around, sipping our drinks, until we stumbled across a small Korean restaurant. There was still a line outside. “I think we should eat there.”

  I looked up at the name; Yori. “I mean, I’d take that line as a sign the food is good,” I agreed. “But there is no way that I could manage more food after that meal we’ve just eaten. And I
doubt we’d get in there now, anyway.”

  “Maybe we can go on Sunday,” he suggested. “They have a lunch menu.” He hurried over to take the number down and take a picture of the menu in the window. “I miss Korean food.”

  “You’re just as bad as JongB with food, aren’t you?” I realized.

  CX grinned mischievously. “You’re the only one who has noticed that.” He looked up and down the street, then seemingly seeing what he wanted, reached for my hand.

  I shot him a frown. “I’m not sure this is a good idea,” I pointed out.

  “Kate, we’re across the street from a Korean restaurant with actual Koreans in the line. No one has recognized me. If there was anywhere in the world we could do this, it would be here.”

  “Well, let’s move away from the Koreans before they do,” I murmured, uneasily. I was all for PDA, and possibly risqué public antics… but this was a different kind of risk and it didn’t settle right with me.

  As though he could sense my discomfort, CX gave my hand a gentle squeeze and led me away from the restaurant, back towards the Apple store. Strangely, the further I went, the more relaxed I felt. Despite my fatigue, I was keeping my eyes peeled for anyone who was giving us a second look. Nobody did. I didn’t relax completely, but I could tell CX had.

  The verdict on my laptop was a cracked hard drive.

  Just another thing I wanted to punch Damien in the face for.

  “But what about the information on it?” I asked the ‘Genius’.

  He shook his head at me. “I’m sorry, but it’s dead.”

  “Nothing?”

  When he shook his head a second time, the last remnants of hope escaped me. “You need a new laptop.”

  “Fucking marvelous,” I grunted. “Sorry, that’s not your fault,” I told the Genius. “Please can I have that, but working?”

  An hour later, after setting the laptop up for me, and syncing all my things back from the Cloud, we were on the Underground, heading back to our apartment. The tiredness was beginning to hit me again, but not as much as CX who had fallen asleep with his head resting on my shoulder. Lord, it was cute.

  I was watching him in the window opposite, not wanting to disturb him as he cuddled up against me. The tour I’d done with the US pop star had been nothing like this tour. There had been days between stops, and she’d had a full tour bus to relax in. Onyx had gone from one country to the next with most of their sleep being caught on planes and buses.

  Not once had I heard them complain though. Every mile of the journey was spent planning how they were going to give their Black Gems the best show they could. “You’re doing so well,” I muttered, moving a piece of hair and tucking it under the rim of his beret.

  Once upon a time, I had mocked girls who had fallen head over heels for a guy within thirty seconds of meeting them.

  Then I became one of those girls.

  And I didn’t have a single regret.

  I woke CX up the stop before ours. He was groggy on the walk back to the apartment. It was almost nine, so I knew he was going straight to bed when we got back.

  And then, all of a sudden, he seemed to perk up, pulling me through the gate to a small park. I couldn’t stop the squeal of surprise. And then his arms were wrapped around me and he was kissing me. Firm kisses, with his tongue reminding me of exactly how skilled he was with it. I clung to his jacket while his hands roamed over my back and the curve of my ass.

  I was the luckiest girl in the world.

  CX’s kisses had the ability to make time stop as he seemed to consume me. When he finally did pull away, he was grinning. “I have something for you.”

  “Me?”

  CX rolled his eyes. “No, the other you.” Shaking his head, he pulled a small blue box out of his pocket. Thankfully, it wasn’t ring-shaped, but it still sent my heart racing. “I know you do Valentine’s Day a little different in the US, so I wanted to get you something.”

  “Valentine’s Day?” I repeated dumbly. What date… Valentine’s Day had been yesterday. We’d spent most of it on a plane or in an airport. It hadn’t even crossed my mind. “Oh, shit. I didn’t get any of you anything,” I muttered.

  World’s worst girlfriend, right here…

  “I wanted to get you something anyway. I saw this before.” He pushed the box towards me.

  I took it from him and opened it. The bracelet made me gasp. It was platinum (a tag told me that) and set in the middle of an intricate design was a small black stone. “This is far too much,” I told him.

  “I’m not taking it back.” He folded his arms and stared at me.

  “Yongsik, I love it,” I told him, firmly. “And I wouldn’t let you take it back. But this is far too much for a Valentine’s gift.”

  “How about you let me decide on what I spend my money, and you just enjoy it.”

  I pushed the box back to him and held my arm out. “Help me put it on?”

  CX’s face lit up and he quickly removed it from the box and wrapped it around my wrist. It was only after he had kissed my pulse that he let go, just so he could link his fingers through mine. “I’m glad I got to spend time with you, being normal.”

  “I’m not complaining about the weird.” I reached up and straightened his slightly crooked hat. “But I enjoyed this evening too.”

  “I wouldn’t give up this crazy life, but it’s nice to be able to walk around unnoticed. Just a man and a woman in love.” That took me aback. CX gave me a sheepish smile. “I love you, Kate.”

  “I love you too.” I did.

  The grin that appeared on his face seemed to fade. “I don’t know how we’ll work this out in Seoul.”

  “Carefully?” I offered, yawning, despite myself.

  The yawn was contagious and CX was mimicking me. “We should head back.” Instead of doing that, he reached for my face, kissing me, softly. “I’m glad it’s you,” he whispered.

  Much to my surprise, people were still awake when we got back. I set the bag with the laptop in it on the floor by the stairs and glanced through the door into the family room. As soon as I realized the occupants consisted of Onyx (minus MinMin), and Sungmin, I knew they were all intentionally waiting for us. “It’s not bedtime yet,” I told CX who was just behind me, slipping his shoes off.

  The family room was a large room with three couches and an armchair. Sungmin was standing in the bay window, his arms folded as he glowered at the floor. JongB was stretched out on one of the couches, snoring, with Youngbin at the other end. Jiwon was using Xiao’s thigh as a pillow – I couldn’t fault him on that. It was comfortable as hell.

  “Shut the door, CX,” Sungmin said quietly after we had stepped in.

  It took a lot of effort, but I refrained from sighing. Instead, I walked over to the single armchair and sat in it. There was no sense in aggravating Sungmin. Not any more, at least. I could tell from the way his mouth was settled in a thin line that he wasn’t a happy bunny.

  “What’s up, hyungnim?” CX asked, perching on the arm of the couch beside Youngbin.

  “We need to talk,” Sungmin said, simply.

  Youngbin leaned over, gently shaking JongB. “Wake up, sleepy head,” he said, softly.

  “I don’t wanna,” JongB pouted, rolling over to face the back of the couch in his sleep.

  “Kate’s back,” Youngbin tried again. “You can go sleep after.”

  “Kate?” JongB repeated. He rolled onto his back, blinking several times before rubbing at his eyes.

  Lord, I felt bad. I was sure this conversation was going to relate to me, which meant, technically, it was me depriving him of sleep. They really didn’t get enough, but suggesting we postpone this until another time was never going to go well with Sungmin.

  JongB finally sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the couch. His hair was sticking up and he looked a little out of it still, but he gave me a lopsided grin before turning to Sungmin.

  I looked over at Onyx’s manager too, finding his gaze locke
d on me. Sungmin ran a hand over his face before sitting down on the windowsill. “I don’t know where to start,” he said, eventually, addressing us all. “I have no objection to any of you dating; it would be rather hypocritical of me if I did.”

  Sungmin was engaged. Not only was he getting married to an idol, the two had met and started dating while she was still actively promoting in the girl group she was a member of. I’d done a little bit of googling because I was curious, but the group was on a hiatus and she was busy acting in a popular drama. From what I could tell, the internet was under the impression the two had met much later in life – while she was on her hiatus, not from way back when she was promoting – and consequently, most people seemed happy about it.

  So, yes, it would be rather hypocritical for him to comment.

  “The problem I have,” Sungmin continued. “Is that no matter how I try to understand this, I can’t.”

  “Do you have to?” Youngbin asked, carefully.

  Sungmin’s hands moved to his temples. I was sure this was a new habit he’d acquired since I had joined the dynamics. “I think I do,” he said, eventually. “Is this a normal thing in America?” he asked, directing the question at me. “I know that South Korea is coming on leaps and bounds with its attitudes, but one woman and five men… It doesn’t exist outside of comic books.”

  “What comic books do you read?” JongB asked, his eyes lighting up.

  “JongB!” Youngbin hissed at him.

  “It’s not common,” I said, knowing that wasn’t a helpful response, but unsure what I could say to make this any easier for him. “But I love all of them, and I have no intention of hurting Onyx; the group, the name, or the members.”

  Sungmin sucked in a long breath. “Intentions aren’t as important as actions. That’s what you get judged on. And in K-pop, idols get judged on everything.”

  “We feel the same about Kate as she does about us,” Xiao said.

  “I spoke to Holly. I am aware that she intends on modifying your contracts when we get back to Seoul. She’s also assured me that you will have the backing of Atlantis…” he trailed off, shaking his head.