by Lauren Wood
“Hey, come on in. Breakfast is almost ready.”
I offered him some juice and coffee, and he went with the latter. I left him to put some cream and sugar in it, while I threw something else on. I passed a mirror on my way into the bedroom and sighed. Of course, I still looked like I rolled out of bed. If I would have had more time…
When I got back downstairs, I was feeling a little bit better, but that quickly changed. Jake and Phillip were at the table and my oldest was asking Steven a whole lot of questions. Personal questions by the sound of it and I wanted to stop it almost immediately, because Jake was giving out information as well as getting it.
“Well, my friend told me that just because they got divorced, doesn't mean that they will stop seeing each other. They will still be boyfriend and girlfriend. Maybe you should just go because she has a boyfriend.”
“Jake, this is just my friend. And I don't know who told you that about the rest, but they don't know what they're talking about.”
I was a wee bit mortified, and I started dishing out their breakfast, hoping that people would stop talking and eat. Namely my son, who was giving out far more information than he needed to.
Steven just took it easily and went with it. I think he was trying to get information and I don't know if I liked that all that well. He was being a little shifty.
“What do you think about the town? I hear that you just started school.”
Jake shrugged and told Steven that he liked it pretty well.
“The kids are nice and stuff. I just miss my old school and my old friends. It wasn’t so hard there.”
It was actually good to hear that he liked something about the new school. I hadn't gotten much out of him because of his attitude lately. Even though it was a bit embarrassing, at least I got to hear something good come out of his mouth.
Something good, other than what was playing in my mind. It was probably the worst idea ever.
When I sat down at the table, Jake must've remembered that I was there because he started eating his breakfast. The room got quiet and again. I was wondering if I had made a mistake inviting him over. It had been a knee-jerk reaction really.
The kids were done quickly, inhaling food as they do. I had them go upstairs and wash up, getting ready for the day. I was left alone with Steven and it was the first time we were able to meet each other’s eyes.
“Sorry about that. Jake is a bit nosy still.”
“He’s fine. I know that kids are just curious. You can’t help what comes out of their mouth, no more than they can I suspect.”
I agreed, looking down for a moment, because his gaze was just too intense.
“So, you're divorced?”
He already knew, because my son had already told him about it.
“Yeah. It is why I came back. I thought it would be nice to have a familiar place, with familiar faces. I didn't realize that you would be part of it.”
“I'm glad to be part of it, Bonnie.”
His words made me smile, but I tried not to show how much I liked his answer.
“What?”
I looked at him a little curiously.
“What's on your mind? You have this weird look on your face.”
“I’m trying to figure out why we never did more. We did it just that one time, right?”
“I would have thought that you would have remembered. Ouch.”
“I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I can't figure out why nothing happened between us beyond that.”
“You left town.”
“Right. It was about that same time, wasn't it?”
Now of course, my mind was taking me through the scenarios that I played out if I had stayed. Would we still be together? What would it have been like?
I shook it off. There was no point in thinking about those things. I had left town, and I hadn't seen Steven in seven or eight years. It would be different, but there was no point in playing the what-if game.
“Well it is strange to be back in Ridgewood, but I'm glad that we ran into each other again. I asked Jesse about you, but he couldn't seem to tell me how I could get ahold of you. It's crazy to think that you were next door the whole time.”
He agreed, and we were just kind of silent for a moment. I wasn't sure what to say, and I would imagine that he didn’t know either.
Next thing I know, the kids are barreling down the stairs, and they had collectively decided that it is time for me to take them to the park. Since it was the first bit of interest that Jake had shown in Ridgewood at all, I thought it would be nice to show them some of the perks of the town.
“Well Bonnie, you have a good time. I will see you all later.”
He left without trying to hug or kiss me and I appreciated that, considering that I was still getting the evil-eye from my oldest. He didn’t seem to understand that we were just friends, though there was guilt associated with all of this. I wanted there to be more, and Jake was probably picking up on that. Was Steven?
I pushed the man from my mind and focused on a day out. We needed this time together, and it worked wonders on getting the cohesive family unit moving forward.
7
Steven
I sat my glass down on the bar and looked up. Jesse was coming in, and I remembered what Bonnie had said about him. He hadn’t known where to find me. That told me what I needed to know about Jesse. He had feelings for Bonnie. That much was clear. I don’t know how much he felt for her or how far it went, but none of that mattered. The only thing that mattered was that he knew she was mine.
Waving him over, there was a minute of hesitation and I took that as admittance. He knew that I wasn’t happy with his decision to horn in on Bonnie. He knew what I was calling him over for, even if he didn’t act like it initially.
“What’s up?”
“Not much. Sit down. I will buy you a beer.”
“Well, I was waiting for someone.”
“They aren’t here yet, Jesse. Sit down.”
Jesse finally smiled and agreed, though I knew he wanted to sit next to me about as much as I wanted to sit next to him.
“So, what have you been up to, Steve?”
He was acting like we didn’t just see each other a couple of days ago. I told him when I was with Bonnie, just to see his reaction.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah, she made me breakfast. I didn’t know that she could cook.”
“Breakfast? That didn't take long at all.”
“I don't know what you're implying, but she just invited me over for breakfast. The damnedest thing I came to figure out. She lives next door. She moved in last week.”
“She bought the old Henderson place?”
“That she did. What are the chances of that, huh?”
Jesse was not happy about the new turn of events and it was about as good of a reaction as I was going to get. He was still thinking about breakfast. He definitely had something for Bonnie. It was written all over his face and in the attitude that was coming forward, without him doing much of anything.
“Apparently pretty damn good. Some guys have all of the luck and there is not much to be done.”
“I didn't know that you had a thing together, Jesse. You don’t look too happy. I thought you would be happy for me.”
“We never did date or anything. She dated both of my friends on the team, so she was always off limits. That was according to high school rules though. Things have changed, and I was going to make my move.”
I could see how much he wanted to have a chance with her. I wasn’t quite sure what kind of a chance he really had, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t convinced. Would Bonnie be with a guy like Jesse, so different fundamentally from me?
“I’m sorry, man. I used to be shy around her, but I have history with her. You should have moved faster. I am not going to just give her up now, Jesse. You moved too slow.”
“Not shy this time huh? So, you didn't need alcohol to get you through this time?”
/>
He was hitting me where it hurt, and I hated that he knew so much about what happened between me and Bonnie. The truth was a lot of people heard about it because one of the school’s gossips had walked in on us. Of course, they had more details than I did about that night. I did have a few too many drinks.
“No, I got through it just fine.”
Jesse had a sneer on his face, and I found it quite strange how quickly we became enemies. Not but a couple weeks ago we were friends, but now he was looking at me as if I was competition. Most likely, the same way I was looking at him. I certainly did not think of him as a friend anymore. Once Bonnie came on the spot, that was it.
“How much longer do you think it will take, for the wing at the school to be done?”
“We are on target for next month. That hasn't changed.”
“Good. It will be good to have the construction around the school done for a while. The wing is really coming along beautifully, Steve. You have a natural talent.”
It was a compliment, but it was given begrudgingly. I was a little surprised he said anything though. It was kind of lame, and I did like the idea that my name would be on a little piece of the school that I went to so long ago. It was all a distraction though, from Bonnie.
“Thank you, Jesse. It really has been my pleasure. It's good to give back.”
Another silence came over us and I ordered us both another one. I don’t know how this conversation was going to go, but not like this.
“You want her, don’t you?”
He said it so simply that I had to look over at him, just to make sure that he had said it. Jesse had, in this small voice that was replaying in my head. There was no denying it. I wanted Bonnie badly, something that hadn’t changed in all this time and likely never would. I wasn’t going to give her up.
“Yeah, I do want her. I think I want her worse than I did before, and that is saying something.”
“You haven't dated since you've been back, so why now? Why her?”
I told him that I wasn't really sure. There wasn't a simple explanation to the question. It wasn’t something that I even fully understood.
“I don't know, Jesse. There has always just been something about her. Well, you know.”
He agreed a little sadly. “Yeah, I can definitely see where you're coming from with that.”
“Sorry about that.”
I felt weird that I was apologizing to him, but hell, I felt bad for him.
“No, you’re not.”
“I guess I’m not. I didn't want the competition.”
“I should have known better though; she was asking for you the first time we met.”
Another begrudging answer and more information that settled my nerves. I had accepted the fact that she would always be present in my mind, just for the simple fact that she was my first. Was it the same for her? Was that why she remembered me so clearly? It was strange to say for certain, but I needed to know what else could be done to pull her in.
“She asked about me?”
“Don’t get too excited, she asked about a lot of things. We talked for hours, and I’m just saying that you came up.”
That was enough for me, even though it wasn’t anything that he wanted to tell me. It was clear that he was bothered by all of it. About as much as I was.
“I won’t, but know that she is mine, Jesse. I have already claimed her.”
He scoffed. “It’s not like that anymore. You can’t say what you want and get it. Besides, think what you want, but I am the one with a date with her tomorrow night. Can you say the same?”
I couldn’t, but that was about to change. Now that I knew she was going to be free, all I had to do was give her a better option. I didn’t think it would be all that hard to do, considering that he was so zealous to make it harder than it had to be.
“We shall see, Jesse. We both know where the other stands, and I don’t need a date. She lives next door. I can just invite her over for a drink. She will be mine soon enough.”
Friend or not, he needed to know.
8
Bonnie
“Steven, come in. What are you doing here?”
He had some coffee in hand and told me he was returning the favor.
“It’s seven at night.”
“You don’t want it? I got wine at the house. I noticed that you were home alone tonight, and thought you might want some company.”
“As nice as it sounds, I sort of got roped into something else tonight. I don’t think I’m going to be able to take you up on your offer.”
“Roped into it, huh? It doesn't sound like you really want to go, so why don't you just cancel it?”
I didn't want to tell him that I was going out with Jesse. We were just supposed to be friends and I thought that's what it was at first, but now he wanted to pick me up and make it an official date. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I didn't have those sorts of feelings for him, so I had agreed to it. That didn't mean that I necessarily wanted to go, now that I knew.
“I don't think I can come up with a reason to get out of it. He's going to be here in an hour.”
“He?”
I bit my lip and wished I hadn’t said that. I didn't want him to know what I was doing, but I didn’t quite know why it mattered. I guess I didn't want things to get funny between us.
“Yeah, it’s just this guy that I know. I have known him for a long time. I think that he’s wanting this to be more than just a day out with friends. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to handle it, because he wants more than I do.”
“Why don't you just come up with something like an emergency that you have to take care of? Maybe there's an emergency at work and you have to take another shift?”
I told him that he was being horrible, but it did make it sound a lot easier. Then, I wouldn't have to tell Jesse that I didn't have the same feelings for him as he did for me. That was a conversation that I certainly didn't want to have and anything that could get me out of it, was definitely something to be considered.
“Just because it's horrible, doesn't mean that it isn't helpful.”
“It probably is helpful, but now I know that I can't trust you, Steven. Your tongue is a bit too silvery for me.”
“I only use it for good.”
“Are you using it for good or because you want to go out with me instead?”
“Is that what I said?”
I knew that I was making assumptions, but by the look on his face, I didn't think that. It was obvious to me what he was doing, even if he didn’t quite come to that conclusion on his own.
“So where would you take me, that was so much better? He was going to take me to a fancy restaurant and then probably to a movie.”
“That sounds pretty cliché to me.”
“So what would we do instead?”
“I think it would be better if we just went out and played some pool, drank a little bit and got too close.”
Funny enough, that did sound like a better time than being at a stiff restaurant with Jesse. He was going to push us to have more than a friendship, but it was enough for me. I couldn’t manufacture feelings for him. I had told him no nicely, but could I really cancel, just to go out with Steven? That seemed wrong on many levels.
“You know that doesn't sound too bad. But don't think that it means that I'm going to be with you in any other way, Steven. This is just to go out and have a good time. I probably shouldn’t…”
“You should, but on the rest, I will be good.”
He looked like he was offended that I even thought that of him, but we both knew that I had a good reason. I didn't have to ask him, because I already knew how his mind worked.
“Promise, Steven.”
“Of course. What kind of man would I be to expect something like that?”
“It didn’t used to be that way Steven, but I have a feeling that it would be now. There is more confidence in you than before. Did you learn some new tricks while I was away?”
/> I tried to stop myself from saying the last bit, but it just kind of tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop it. Any answer to that, would have been a better one. I should have just kept my mouth shut.
That brought him close to me, and I was in his arms and his lips were pressed against mine before I could really think twice about it. Before I could question what it was that he was doing, I was allowing him to do it.
For that moment, everything that happened between us came back to me in a flash, and I had to pull away from him. This was happening a bit too fast, and his confidence was a little bit too strong for my liking. How could I keep myself together when a kiss had me weak in the knees? This wasn’t going to be easy, especially when I was hoping that he would do it again.
“Well, if we are going to play pool, then we need to get out of Ridgewood. I don't want it to get back to Jesse that I bailed on him and went out with you.”
He agreed with me a little too quickly, and I had to wonder if he knew about Jesse and his intentions, the date.
He was hard to say no to, so I didn’t even want to know the specifics. All that mattered, was we were going to spend some time together. It was going to be innocent. Just the two of us going out. That’s it.
But why did I want another playback? Why did I want to see all of the new tricks that he’d picked up through the years? Maybe I wanted to see if he would feel as good as I remembered.
9
Steven
That couldn't have worked out better if I had planned it all out. I had gone over to her place, not really with a plan in mind. I knew that she was supposed to go out with Jesse, and my only real reason for going over there was to make sure that it didn't happen. I felt a little guilty about it, but not enough to stop the cockblocking I was doing this evening.
I went back next door to get ready and let her have some time to take care of her date. I was the winner of this battle, but I knew I had to lock it down quickly if I was ever going to feel confident with Bonnie as my own.
