Set title

by O’Donnell, Laurel

  All the longing she’d felt earlier poured forth. She reached up and wrapped her arms around him, only wanting to be closer. With each breath she took, she drank in his presence.

  What was she to do when he felt so right? When everything about him seemed so perfect? Her aunt’s words rang through her mind, Only by exploring do we know what is possible.

  Even as she sank into his kiss, he drew back, leaving her bereft at the far too brief contact.

  It took a moment for Julia to hear what Oliver obviously had—voices in the foyer below. Her brother had returned.

  With a sigh, Julia rested her forehead against Oliver’s shoulder. The interruption was for the best, she reminded herself. She had no business sharing such moments with him when she would never be able to take it further. Of course, he’d never suggested such a thing.

  She stilled at the realization and drew back to look into his eyes. “Oliver?”

  Her brother’s voice drew nearer as he came up the stairs, preventing her from saying anything more. Then again, what could she possibly ask?

  ~*~

  Oliver rubbed his eyes then attempted to focus once more on the notes before him. The fire burned cheerfully, chasing away the chill of the library. Two days had passed, and he’d managed to keep his distance from the Hopwood’s. Now that Lord Burnham was feeling better, Oliver’s presence wasn’t needed. He’d decided it would be far better for him to stay away from Julia. Better for him. Better for her.

  Unfortunately, it had yet to feel better.

  He’d begun to question why he should remain home when he wanted so much to see her again. Though he acknowledged he wanted her in his life, he hadn’t yet determined what that meant. He couldn’t indulge in an affair with her. She deserved far more than that. But doubt welled up from deep inside if he considered anything further. In truth, she deserved more than him. What did all that mean for their relationship? Their future, if they had one?

  Time. He needed time to weigh the options and his feelings. And distance for clarity. Surely both of those would help him make a rational decision.

  Yet he was quickly realizing there was nothing rational about his feelings for Julia.

  He’d kept as busy as possible to occupy his thoughts. The nights caused the most difficulty. When his guard was down, Julia’s image came to him, moving with him, over him, under him, until his body pulsed with desire.

  Even now, after spending hours sifting through weighty fifteenth-century folios, he ached for her. He imagined what he might be tempted to do if he had a moment alone with her.

  No, it was much better if he kept his distance.

  Perhaps his imagination was getting the better of him, and he’d exaggerated how she made him feel when they were together. Yet the words rang hollow in his mind.

  He tapped his pen on the notes before him, trying once again to focus. He’d managed to find several more references to The Book of Secrets. Some claimed a student of Albert Magnus had compiled the book, using his teacher’s name to gain more interest in the text.

  None of what he’d learned could be used to reduce or eliminate Smithby’s power. The newspaper report had surely discredited him, but he hadn’t taken any brash action to compensate for it. Hawke and Langston had found another man to assist in watching the warehouses. But thus far, it hadn’t helped.

  Voices in the foyer had him guessing that Hawke was paying a visit. He continued reviewing his notes, wanting them to be fresh on his mind when he shared them with him. Perhaps his friend would have some new take on the data he’d gathered.

  An odd tingle of awareness coursed through him, causing him to glance up to find Julia walking into his library.

  The breath left his lungs in a whoosh, and he blinked, wondering if he was hallucinating after so many hours of wishing she was near.

  “I told Tubbs he needn’t announce me. I hope that’s acceptable.” She raised a brow at his continued silence, her steps slowing. “I’m sorry if I’m interrupting.”

  Oliver heard the distinct sound of the library door latching behind her. What was Tubbs thinking? She would not be staying for long.

  “Nothing of the sort,” he said as he rose. Despite his attempts to convince himself that he’d exaggerated her effect on him, she proved him wrong.

  Damn.

  Her pale pink gown cast a lovely glow to her complexion and lit her blue eyes. The intricate hat was a shade deeper than her gown and sat at an angle that drew his gaze to the delicate curve of her jaw. The very sight of her lifted something inside him.

  He’d managed to stay away, but she’d circumvented his plan by coming to see him. The desire he’d experienced during his last visit to her home swelled two-fold, dashing the little restraint he had. His only hope was to make certain she remained on the opposite side of his desk. That distance was vital to him being able to keep his hands to himself.

  “To what do I owe the honor of this visit?” he asked even as his gaze drank in her presence.

  She came around the side of his desk, already scattering his plan along with his thoughts. “I came by to thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “Your frequent visits have meant the world to my father. They significantly aided his recovery.”

  Worry slid through him. Surely the old lord hadn’t taken a turn for the worse. “Is his recovery continuing?”

  “Each day brings improvement. Much of the credit for that goes to you.” Her smile tangled something inside him. She tilted her head, revealing the tempting line of her neck.

  He shook his head to respond to her statement as well as to clear his wayward thoughts. “I hardly think my brief visits helped that much.”

  “They truly did.” She trailed a gloved hand along the shiny surface of his desk as she leaned against it. “Each time he’s ill it takes longer for him to improve. Though that was true this time as well, he recovered quicker than even the doctor expected.”

  He watched that hand move slowly along his desk, drawing little circles with one finger. It was one of the most exotic sights he’d ever seen. All he could think about was that finger trailing along him in the same way, gloves and all.

  With a deep breath, he tried to clear his mind and focus on the conversation. “My apologies for not calling upon him these past two days. I’ve been busy with some research.” He gestured toward his notes.

  “Is it a new project?” She shifted her head to look at the papers on his desk, drawing his attention to the length of her neck. All he could think of was how much he wanted to nibble on it.

  The woman was driving him mad without even trying.

  “I’ve discovered a few more references to The Book of Secrets that may prove helpful.”

  “I have asked Father time and again if he’ll give you the other book until he feels up to working on it again, but he refuses to. I can only think that he fears if he does, you won’t need him and therefore won’t return to visit him.”

  “Please assure him that is not the case. He need have no worries on that score.” How was he to maintain some distance from Julia if he wanted to continue the research with Lord Burnham?

  Yet he couldn’t regret Julia purchasing that book instead of him. He wouldn’t have met her otherwise.

  “I’ll let him know.” She took a step closer, her gaze holding his. “Is there a day I might tell him to expect you?”

  His defenses took another blow. “Is tomorrow acceptable?”

  “Of course. Whenever is convenient for you.”

  “What of your brother?” Oliver had spoken with him on several occasions. He’d been pleasant enough, but Oliver sensed an underlying restlessness in him that he recognized all too well.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Perhaps your brother would prefer to spend time with your father rather than me.”

  “Not at all. Jonathan is quite relieved to know your visits give Father a lift.”

  “Good.” He nodded, searching for a topic that might keep h
im from drawing her into his arms. She was close enough now that he caught her sweet lilac scent, and it wasn’t helping quell his desire at all. “Does your aunt know you called on me?”

  “She thinks I’m out shopping. My carriage is waiting down the street.”

  “Ah.” At least she was thinking of her reputation.

  She took another step toward him, that blue gaze continuing to hold his. “I’ve missed you.”

  Unable to resist her when she was so close, he risked running a gentle finger along her cheek, realizing at once he’d made a mistake. “I’ve missed you as well.”

  When she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, the fragile hold he had on his self-control slipped away, unleashing the desire he’d had for this beautiful woman for so long.

  Did she truly know how much she risked by coming here alone?

  Or worse—perhaps she knew exactly the peril she faced.

  He leaned down to kiss her, his hunger for her outweighing his argument with himself. Her heated response only increased his need for her. She slipped her tongue into his mouth, nearly buckling his knees. He met her tongue with his as his body hardened with desire. He wanted to pull her against him, to feel her bare skin against his.

  “Julia,” he muttered instead. “You should go.”

  “Why?”

  She was killing him. “Because otherwise, I’m going to...” What? Take her on his desk? She was a lady. What was wrong with him? She deserved far more than that. Yet what more could he offer?

  “Because you deserve someone better than me.” He forced out the words, certain she hadn’t thought this through.

  “No.” She reached up to lay her hands on either side of his face, her blue eyes shining with passion. “I deserve you. And you are the only one I want. This moment is all that matters. Not yesterday and not tomorrow. Now.” She sealed her words with another kiss, and he was lost.

  He wrapped her in his embrace, loving the feel of her against him as he kissed her deeply. She was so perfect. She fit against him so beautifully. Soon that embrace wasn’t enough. He ran his hands along her curves, caressing and kneading as he went. Her body swayed against him as he touched her, mimicking the rhythm that was never far from his mind.

  Her fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck and sent need pulsing through his body. Her tongue continued to move with his but soon it wasn’t enough.

  He drew back to look at her, wondering if she realized where this might lead. In the far corner of his mind, he thought that by being bold, he might frighten her and send her scurrying home. Watching closely to see when fear finally set in, he reached up to pluck the hat pin from the clever adornment then tossed both the hat and the pin on his desk, covering his notes.

  Her eyes heated, but not with fright. She peeled off her gloves, watching him all the while, tossing them near her hat as though challenging him.

  “Julia, I don’t think you understand what will happen if you stay.” Oliver wanted to make certain she knew what she was doing.

  She bit her bottom lip for a moment then nodded. “I do.” She ran her bare hands up his sleeves to his shoulders then to the nape of his neck once more.

  “Julia,” he tried again, his hands settling on her waist. “I can’t resist you.”

  “No one said you had to.”

  With a sigh, he kissed her once more, his passion battling his will. He had to have more. He drew back to release her to search for the pins holding her hair and pulled them free. As the long golden tresses lay along her shoulders and down her back, he could nearly picture her naked on his bed, her hair splayed across his sheets as those amazing eyes stared up at him.

  But his bed was too far away.

  He continued their kiss, hot and deep. Her responsiveness was nearly his undoing.

  Her modest dress included a bodice that buttoned in the front. He undid them one by one, kissing her as he went then drew it off to set it on the gloves.

  As though refusing to be outdone, she unbuttoned his suit coat and vest then removed his tie. She unfastened the top buttons of his shirt before he paused her hands.

  Next, he removed her skirt and petticoat, his shaking fingers less than nimble.

  As her lips sought the sensitive skin of his neck, she pushed his jacket and vest off his shoulders. He shrugged out of them to add them to the growing pile on his desk. Then after another heated kiss, he turned her away from him, sliding her hair over her shoulder so he could remove her corset, taking the time to caress her curves as he went. He pressed kisses along her neck, just below her ear. Her soft moans caused him to throb all the more, but still he took his time.

  The corset landed with a thump on his desk, leaving her in her thin chemise, and she turned within the circle of his arms and reached up on her toes to kiss him again. Her clever fingers unbuttoned his shirt, her hands dancing along his bare skin as she worked. She parted the shirt and ran her hands along his chest.

  “So strong,” she whispered as she leaned forward and kissed his chest. “So warm.”

  “Julia.” Heat sizzled through him as her lips moved along his body. He had to feel her against him, skin to skin. He ran a finger along the loose neck of her chemise, enjoying her reaction as she closed her eyes and tipped her head back. He kissed her neck, along her delicate collarbone, following the path of his fingers to ease lower. Then lower still.

  The sweet curve of her breast remained hidden from view, but he had a vivid imagination. His fingers moved to cup the weight of her and his thumb found the tip, gently flicking it until she moaned even more.

  “I want to see you,” he whispered.

  “Yes.” Her muttered response was all the permission he needed.

  He lifted her breast free of the chemise. The pink tip beckoned, and he bent to kiss it, using his tongue to repeat the motion of his thumb. He licked and lathed then took her into his mouth to suckle, gentle at first then more purposeful.

  “Oh, Oliver.” Her breath came in short bursts as she held onto his shoulders.

  “I want to see all of you.” He looked into her eyes as he said the words, wondering if he’d finally succeeded in frightening her.

  “Yes.” Her tone held no doubt. Her eyes held no fear. “And I would see all of you.”

  Much to his shock, she pushed his shirt off his shoulders then trailed her fingers along the flat planes of his stomach. When she reached for the fastening of his trousers, he placed his hands over hers, breathing deeply to slow the rapid pace. “Are you certain?” he asked. “I cannot make you any promises for tomorrow let alone the future.”

  She stilled, and he saw the delicate line of her throat move as she swallowed. “Nor can I. So let us have today.”

  ~*~

  Julia waited with bated breath, hoping Oliver wouldn’t deny her. While part of her wished he’d declare his undying love, beg her to marry him, and offer her the world, those were all dreams she’d put aside long ago. Before her world had narrowed to her father.

  Even if Oliver did all that, she’d have to refuse.

  But this...this she would take.

  Surely there was no wrong in allowing herself this one opportunity for happiness. She refused to think of the years that stretched ahead of her, lonely and endless without Oliver’s presence. Those worries were for another day. Aunt Matilda had put this notion of exploration in her mind, and Julia couldn’t let go of it.

  His hesitation was breaking her. Unwilling to allow him to refuse her, she eased closer to kiss the rise of his massive chest and run her hand along the rippled planes of his stomach. How a scholar could remain so fit was a mystery, but she appreciated it.

  She continued her exploration to his broad shoulders where corded muscles tensed as she touched his smooth skin. Moving lower again, she kissed his chest until she reached his nipple, delighting in the jerk of his body as she licked the small nub.

  He pulled her close to him in response, holding her tight. “How can I think when you do such things?”<
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  “No need to,” she responded. “I only want you to feel.” She reached up on her toes to kiss him long and deep, letting her desire guide her. “Surely you can feel how right this is.”

  “Oh, I feel,” he said after a long moment. “Have no doubt. Do you?”

  Whatever control over the situation she thought she had was taken when he reached down to lift the hem of her chemise, his warm hands exploring her legs, her hips. Her skin heated under his touch. By the time he raised the chemise higher, she no longer cared what he might think of her body. She only wanted more.

  Her hand brushed the front of his trousers, surprised at the unexpected hardness there. Belatedly it occurred to her how little she knew about what came next. Other than overhearing the maids giggling about a footman’s well-endowed form and what they’d like to do with it along with a descriptive book she’d read, she was uncertain how to proceed.

  But she didn’t want Oliver to take that uncertainty as hesitation. Surely enthusiasm for all that was happening would convince him otherwise.

  And there was so much happening. His hands were everywhere. His lips alternatively sent flames and shivers coursing through her body. It took a moment for her to realize just where his fingers were roaming as they moved on her hip, her belly, then lower. The shivers were nothing but a distant memory as the flames took over entirely.

  Her body had become a foreign landscape under his hands. It jerked and shifted, the moistness between her thighs shocking her. Then he touched her center. Her legs weakened under the onslaught of passion coursing through her. As shocking as his intimate caress was, her body welcomed it.

  Relying on instinct, her hands moved along his body, learning his form as he did hers. Once again, her hands arrived at the barrier of his trousers. This time, she unfastened them, brushing away his hands when they tried to hold hers.

  His moan told her she was doing this right. She moved to push them down over his hips only to be interrupted when he removed her chemise as though impatient at the barrier. As the soft linen fell away, she suddenly realized she was standing naked in Oliver’s library.