Mate- Level 8

by Heather Karn

“Okay, but if someone from the council comes, you don’t know anything.”

  “Fine.”

  Letting go of her robe, she ran her hands up her face and up through her hair and along her ears before returning them to grip the robe. “Because Saren is dead and Kilani was his superior officer, responsibility fell on him for abducting you. You’re a female. It goes against all policies and laws to do such a thing. The council did what they thought was best in their punishment in representing you.”

  “Representing me?” No one had come to talk to me or find out how I felt about the situation, yet they found it their responsibility to represent me?

  Nodding, Kitta explained. “When a crime has been committed, the council represents the victim and acts on their behalf.”

  “But how do they know what I even want or how I feel?” Shaking my head, I held up a hand and stopped her response. “Exactly what was his punishment before I go all ape on this council.”

  “Ape?”

  “What was his punishment?”

  She cleared her throat. “First, I want you to know that the family is truly appalled by what Kilani did. No one can believe he would do such a thing. If there’s anything-.”

  “Kitta!” My sharp tone shocked her silent. “Punishment. Now.”

  “Right. First, he lost his position as Captain and will not be allowed a position on any ships ever again. Second, his Mate Level was lowered to a Five. And third, he is forbidden from attending any Courtships for the next two years.”

  The whole sentence wasn’t out of her mouth before I couldn’t sit any longer and took to frantically pacing from the doorway to the balcony. By the time she was finished, I could barely breathe. My stomach turned over and over and I hoped that if I kept swallowing, I wouldn’t get sick.

  That punishment would kill Kilani. All he wanted to do was help his people, why couldn’t they see that? And the council decided to represent me and my feelings without consulting me first? Were they insane? I’d never want any of that for Ki, no matter what he’d done to me.

  Then the implications of what she said hit home and my brain and feet came to a screeching halt.

  Mate Level dropped to a Five.

  He couldn’t attend any Courtships for two years.

  The aching in my heart tripled as I tried to keep my heart rate from racing any faster. I really was going to get sick. He was my one choice and they’d thoroughly taken that away from me. So much for representing my wishes.

  “Are you okay…Cammie is it? I think that’s what Kilani said.”

  “Yes, I’m Cammie, and no I’m not all right,” I breathed, my voice airy and full of the tension that coursed through my body. “The council decided to not even slap the hands of a man who broke several protocols including beating me up, yet Kilani gets the book thrown at him for something he didn’t even do. That’s messed up.”

  “But he abducted you. Hilgal only mistook you for a man.”

  I turned on her, my voice raising until I was sure the whole planet could hear me, and there was no way I had the control to bring it back to a reasonable level. “Kilani didn’t abduct me. Saren did. And when Saren attacked me, Kilani protected me. That’s all he’s ever done is try to protect me and make sure that I was taken care of. Your stupid council doesn’t represent me, otherwise they never would’ve given him that punishment. He was my one choice, Kitta.” I held up a finger and thrust it at her for emphasis. “My one choice. And now that’s gone. Well, they can kiss my behind because I’m not choosing anyone. Ever. If they want to make it up to me, they can toss away Ki’s punishment.”

  “I...I don’t understand…” Kitta’s soft voice was as full of the confusion that shown in her gaze, a gaze I could see now that the sun was rising. When her eyes rounded to the size of saucers the next instant, her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh my gosh. You love him.”

  Not at any time when I’d examined my feelings for Kilani had I dared to allow myself to think of the “L” word. Not once had I dared to think I could feel that way toward any man. But even though I refused to acknowledge it, the truth was there. I’d come to rely on Ki in more ways than I could ever imagine, and I wanted to explore planet after planet with him and share every experience I had with him for the rest of my life. I wanted him to introduce me to new cultures and foods, to new games and technology. There was no doubt that the warmth that flooded my chest every time I thought of him was indeed love.

  I nodded, tears slipping down my cheeks as I tried not to fall apart. “Yeah. I love him.”

  Kitta’s head shook back and forth in slow motion, like she couldn’t believe what was happening as she was trying to wrap her head around all the information like I was. “Kilani told Mom before she, Dad, and I left for my testing that the council would regret their decision, that you’d hate them for this.”

  “What’d she say?”

  “That he had no right to speak for you.”

  “Well, he was right.”

  She nodded just as slowly. “I can see that.” Her eyes softened and glimmered as tears filled them. “I’m so sorry.”

  Now that I was fairly certain I wasn’t going to throw up, I sat on the very edge of the couch I’d left. “Can his punishment be revoked.”

  “It’s never been done before.”

  “But it’s possible?”

  “I have no idea. The council would have to decide that.”

  “Of course they would,” I grumbled under my breath, my voice dripping venom. If I ever met this council, they’d regret ever crossing me.

  Kitta leaned forward. “You have to understand, no one expected you to fall in love with the man responsible for abducting you.”

  I ground my teeth together. “For the last time, he wasn’t the one who abducted me. Saren tricked him. And yeah, I never planned on it, but your brother made it pretty easy to fall for him. He is literally the kindest, gentlest man I’ve ever met. And selfless.”

  “You’re going to have to choose a Mate,” Kitta murmured, her voice full of sorrow.

  Mine hardened. “Over my dead body.”

  A sharp gasp escaped Kitta, but I walked away before she could comment. Needing fresh air, I strode to the balcony to gasp in the cool morning air. I couldn’t get enough of it as my body shook from all of the emotions coursing through my veins. Kitta must’ve been able to tell that I needed to be alone because she didn’t follow me.

  For the first time since being taken from home, I felt truly lost and trapped. Even on Ki’s ship, I hadn’t felt this alone and claustrophobic. The tears that had fallen minutes ago were now dry and crusted to my skin. I would’ve thought more would follow, but they were bottled up as I tried to regain any semblance of control of my emotions and thoughts. They were all running amok in my head as I tried to piece together what my new future would look like. The one with me by Ki’s side, the one I’d refused to picture but had hoped would come true, was now dashed to pieces.

  Wrapping my arms around myself, I slid to the ground, my back against the brick wall of the balcony. When I’d gone on my tirade in the common room, Spock had remained on the couch, eyeing me with concern. Now he skittered to me and curled up in my lap, his touch comforting me.

  A few minutes later I heard commotion inside and someone said the word food, but I’d lost any semblance of an appetite. I heard Kitta join me at the balcony entrance, but I didn’t respond to whatever it was she said. My mind and body were in a state of shock, and I didn’t want to pull myself out of it. Doing so would allow the reality my life had just shifted toward to take full control of me, and I wasn’t yet ready to face that future head on. I needed time to slowly digest it.

  After the food arrived, Kitta did come outside, and sat beside me against the brick wall, but not close enough to touch. My body and heart yearned for a hug, but the only man who truly understood this was someone I’d likely never see again as I’d be stuck in this building the rest of my life. Mortan kind of understood what a hug meant to me, but not li
ke Kilani.

  “What will happen to Ki’s ship and crew?” I murmured, my voice hoarse.

  “I don’t know. They haven’t named a new captain yet, and they probably won’t for a while, so in the meantime, his second-in-command will be in charge of the crew. Since they’re docked on our world, there isn’t much he’ll need to do.” She twisted her robes again, obviously her version of a nervous tick. “They brought you food if you’re hungry now.”

  As much as I wanted to refuse it, my stomach was ready to eat itself by now. Realizing how hungry I was, I finally allowed myself to register the reality around me. The sun was now well above the horizon and the sounds of animals and people filled the air. I’d been out of it for hours.

  Taking a deep breath, I nodded and stood, lifting Spock to my shoulder. The food was like that we’d been served on the ship, except that there were meat options mixed in. Someone had obviously not known how much I would need to eat, so the large crystal platter was piled high with the various options.

  I’d tasted almost every option, my stomach somewhat sated, when I caught sight of Kitta watching me. “Do you want some?” I asked, talking around a mouth full of food.

  She smiled and shook her head at me. “No, but thank you. I ate yesterday morning.”

  “That makes me hungry for you.”

  Giggling, Kitta walked across the room and pulled a set of the chess/domino game from a cupboard. “Do you know how to play?”

  “Your brother taught me.”

  “Good. Then let’s play. I need to forget about tomorrow because it’s making time drag today.” When I set my spoon down, my appetite lost again, Kitta winced. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t talk about it, should I?”

  “No, it’s fine. Nothing is going to change what’s going to happen, so you might as well get it out of your system.” I joined her at a table with two chairs across from one another. “Come on, while we play, you can tell me about my other options.”

  While we played, Kitta told me all about the other men, but none of the information really stuck in my brain, mostly because I only understood about half of what she told me. Some of that was because it was confusing, and the other part was because I literally couldn’t understand it since it was in her language. However, the game helped to keep my mind occupied, even if it was about other men, and soon the topic of conversation turned to other things, like me explaining Earth to her. She understood just about as much from me as I had from her, but it was still fun to talk about home.

  I snacked while we played and more food was brought up later. This time I was able to tell them that there was enough there to last me until tomorrow so no more was needed. Even though she’d eaten yesterday morning, Kitta did join me for a few bites as the sun was setting. My body still wasn’t used to the longer days, so by the time the sun had set below the horizon, I could barely keep my eyes open. It was another shock to Kitta that not only did I eat far more than her, but I slept for hours at a time every day.

  “I suppose I’ll have to find something to do while you sleep,” she grumbled as I trudged across the common room, a sleepy grin on my face.

  “I’m sure you’ll come up with something.”

  Sleep didn’t come as easily as I’d hoped. The moment my head hit the pillow, I was wide awake, my mind replaying every memory of my time spent with Kilani. My heart ached for him. I’d never had a close friend, not until him. I wanted to tell him how much I liked his sister and what little I’d seen of his planet, and I wanted to explore the rest of it with him, not someone else. There was no way that my heart was ready to choose someone else tomorrow, even if I was okay with the idea.

  When I did sleep it was restlessly for hours until I finally slept without dreaming of being forced to choose Hilgal. Those disturbing dreams still haunted me when I finally woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. My biological clock was fairly certain the sun hadn’t risen yet, so I allowed myself to stay in bed until Spock chittered that he was hungry. There was still some of his ship food left, so I set the rest out and did my business while he ate.

  Not bothering to shower or clean up yet, knowing I likely appeared like a disheveled mess, I stepped into the common room to ask Kitta what time we should start expecting people to arrive. However, the sight of her standing in the middle of the room in deep discussion with two other Lutharians had me doing an about face. There was no way I was presentable to anyone else besides Kitta with me still in my pajamas and without having at least pulled a brush through my hair.

  However, I only made it a few feet into the room before Kitta’s voice rang over the comm unit in my room. “Cammie, my parents are here. They’d like to meet you.”

  So, those were her parents. Likely here to wish her good luck today. Well, I had a thing or two I wanted to say to her mother and the rest of the council, but I clamped my mouth shut and counted to ten.

  “Cammie?”

  I couldn’t leave her hanging, but I wasn’t showing my face, so I stalked over to the comm unit on my side of the wall and punched the button. “I don’t want to be disrespectful, but I’m not ready for that conversation. It’ll need to wait until after I survive the Courtship. I can’t handle anything more than that right now.” The tension in my voice was obvious, even to me.

  “We understand,” Kitta stated, and I wondered if she’d told them about our discussion yesterday. That was probably what they’d been talking about when I’d come out and interrupted them.

  “Thanks.”

  I was just turning away when Kitta came back over the comm unit, her voice a bit more excited. “Oh, I can’t forget to tell you. Our Courtship clothing arrived a little while ago. I can leave yours outside of your door if you’d like.”

  “Sure, that’d be great,” I told her, voice dry. There was no way I was wearing their clothes. If I was going to do this Courtship thing and live here, then I was going to do it my way. There was no way I was going to be forced to conform to their rules.

  So, instead of waiting for the guests to disappear so I could sneak out to grab my clothes unseen, I roved through my closet looking for a nice outfit to wear. I wasn’t going to go for frumpy like I wanted. It would be far better if I showed them a bit more respect and wore a nice dress or something. In the end, I chose a knee length green dress and a pair of black leggings. They’d probably hate it as much as Kilani had in the beginning, but it was me and my style. This was who I was, and they needed to understand this, especially the men. I didn’t want them to be surprised by my stubborn hold on my customs and clothing styles.

  They should just be happy I wasn’t wearing my exercise shorts.

  Once I was showered, dressed, and my hair and makeup were as perfect as I could make them, I stuck my head outside the door and grabbed the clothes meant for me. Kitta and her parents were nowhere to be seen. Either they’d all left, which was unlikely, or her parents had left and Kitta was getting ready as well.

  Since I was alone now, there was no reason to hide back in my room. Instead, I took in the view from the balcony, enjoying the sweet breeze that passed by. The view truly was as gorgeous as Kilani had said it would be. I only wished he were here to share it with me.

  “What are you wearing?” Kitta’s voice screeched behind me. Spinning around, I found her expression to be just as appalled as her voice.

  “A dress. It’s what my culture wears to events like this.”

  “But you’re here.”

  “Not my plan, so everyone is going to have to suck it up and understand that I’m not changing who I am.”

  She didn’t continue arguing, but her eyes continued to inspect my clothes. Hers were the same style robes, but these were a deep green with golden embroidery. I had no idea what the symbols meant, and I wasn’t about to ask.

  Soon after that, my food showed up, and then so did a few younger women. All of them gave me a once over after doing a double-take, but it wasn’t enough to make me self-conscious or want to change into something more “appropria
te.” That was never going to happen.

  The women’s work drew my attention. They opened up panels in the walls that I hadn’t noticed before and pressed several different buttons on the inside. In minutes, the room was divided into several smaller rooms thanks to walls that descended from the ceiling. None of the women had spoken a word to us, so after they left, Kitta explained that the furthest room was where we were to go now and wait until the men showed up, and the two large rooms were where we’d meet the men.

  My stomach was beginning to eat itself, and there was no way I’d be able to touch the food until this was over. Kitta didn’t say a word as I carried the platter into our waiting room and set it down without eating. While she sat on a couch all smiles and excited jitters, I was a mess. I took to pacing, hoping to burn off some of the nervous energy.

  I had no real reality toward time, so it could’ve been minutes or hours when voices in the common room caught my attention. Even Kitta perked up, rising to her feet as the door slid open and a heavyset alien stepped inside. He first scanned over Kitta and then his eyes fell on me, growing larger than saucers when he took in my appearance.

  “I’m not changing,” I barked when he opened his mouth to disapprove of what I wore. “If they want to be my Mate, then they need to be able to take me as I am, human clothes and all.”

  The man clamped his mouth shut, but he didn’t appear at all pleased with me. Thankfully he skipped arguing about my clothes and addressed us both.

  “The males are gathering. The Courtship will begin shortly. Enter the next room when the door opens, not before.” He cast a harsh glare toward me. Too bad he didn’t have to worry. I was in no hurry to exit this room and face a group of men I wouldn’t be choosing.

  Kitta could barely keep still as the door slid closed behind the man. “This is it!”

  I wanted to cringe at her shrill squeal. Some things managed to translate between cultures. Young women being excited over meeting eligible bachelors appeared to be one of them. As did the sense of dread at meeting said men.