Western Bride

by Janelle Daniels

  The man looked at him, not nearly as friendly as he’d been before. His eyes narrowed slightly. “You were, in fact, interrupting. But we don’t mind, do we, Abby?”

  Lucas gritted his teeth at the familiar way the man spoke to her. Everything in him ached to correct him, to demand he refer to her as Miss Winthrop.

  Abby smiled, but the corners looked tight. “No. Of course not. Mr. McDermott is always welcome.”

  “Yes…” Connor drew the word out, but then smiled and gave Abby his full attention. “In any case, I wanted to speak with you to see if you’d allow me to drive you home.”

  Abby’s head pulled back slightly, surprised. “Oh. Yes, I’d like that. Thank you, Mr. Broderick.”

  Connor lit up, his grin triumphant. He didn’t look in Lucas’ direction to rub it in, but Lucas felt his elation all the same.

  “It’s my pleasure. Take your time, and enjoy yourself. I’m in no rush to leave.”

  She bowed her head slightly. “You’re too kind.”

  Connor smiled before leaving with a little bounce in his step.

  Abby cleared her throat, and then looked at Lucas. “How are you?”

  “I’m doing well. Truly though, I am glad to see you made it all right.” He spoke easily, like the conversation only moments before hadn’t taken place. He wasn’t going to comment on Connor—that was her choice, and he meant to respect it.

  Her shoulders relaxed. “I’m relieved as well. I’ll probably think of that mob for some time while coming into town.”

  “I don’t blame you.” He smiled slowly. “So, I was hoping to steal you away. I would have offered to drive you home, but it appears I’m too late.”

  Her lips quirked in amusement. “Yes. I’m not sure what happened just now.”

  “He marked you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He leaned a little closer, unable to help himself. “He was staking his claim. He wanted me to know you’re with him.”

  As expected, her mouth fell open. “I don’t belong to anyone!” she whispered her outrage. She huffed. “But you’re right. That’s what he was doing.” She shook her head. “The men here, they’re so aggressive.”

  “They need to be, with so few women.” Lucas could see she didn’t like how the men could be, but she didn’t blame them. She understood all too well. Still, he didn’t care how desperate the men were, Lucas wanted to keep her all to himself.

  He reached out and brushed a fingertip over her sleeve. Her eyes darted to the side in case someone watched them, but Lucas angled himself so no one saw the caress. “Can I see you tonight? I can find something to talk about with the others if we need an excuse.”

  She bit her lip then finally nodded. “I want that too.”

  That one little admission was all it took to set him at ease. She wanted to spend time with him. It was a start. And his heart swelled. “Then I’ll be there.”

  She gave him a small, secret smile. “I look forward to it, Mr. McDermott,” she said his name a little louder, a devilish glint in her eye.

  He took her hand, bending low, and placed a lingering kiss over it. “Miss Winthrop.”

  She allowed him to hold her hand a moment longer before she extricated it and headed off, leaving him to watch her saunter away.

  It was a view he would never tire of.

  Chapter 13

  Abby sat quietly in the front of the carriage as Connor chatted amiably next to her. He was a good man. Kind, thoughtful, and she’d been grateful to have his attention the last several months.

  But right now, her thoughts weren’t on him, they were on the man she knew was waiting at the house for her.

  She’d lingered at the job fair until the end, telling the other women to ride on ahead without her. Lucas had nodded at her from across the field, reconfirming their meeting, but she hadn’t needed the reassurance.

  She knew Lucas would be there.

  Connor said something, drawing her attention. “Pardon?” she asked, feeling guilty for her inattention.

  He glanced at her with an indulgent smile. “I said, thank you again for allowing me to drive you home.”

  “Oh. It’s most appreciated.” She smiled tightly at him, hoping he wouldn’t see how much she looked forward to its end.

  They were about to round the last bend to the house, when he stopped the carriage and turned toward her. The movement rang an alarm bell within her. “Is everything all right?” she asked.

  He nodded slowly then took her hands in his. She swallowed hard, already knowing what he would say.

  He looked into her eyes. “Abby, I hope you know how much it’s meant to me to get to know you over the last few months. And I hope you’ve enjoyed getting to know me as well.”

  He seemed to want a response, so she nodded, unable to speak through the lump in her throat.

  “Good.” He rubbed his thumb over her hand. “I wanted you alone because there’s something in particular I wanted to ask you. I think you might have some idea.”

  She shook her head quickly, hoping to forestall the conversation.

  He just laughed. “I love how modest and demure you are. I find it very becoming in a woman.”

  If he truly thought she was modest and demure, he didn’t know her well. He’d courted her, but they’d never really gotten past pleasantries. “Mr. Broderick—”

  “Connor, please. Abby, I think you know I care for you. I’ve come to think of you as the most delicate, gentle, intelligent woman of my acquaintance. I admire you greatly. And I hope my feelings are reciprocated. I haven’t spoken with your brother, because I wanted to speak with you first, to give you the choice, but I’m hoping you’ll do me the honor of marrying me.”

  “Connor—”

  He shook his head firmly. “No. Please don’t answer now. I know this is sooner than expected, and I would like for you to have time to properly consider it. I’m in no rush, but I could no longer go on without telling you my intentions. Please, tell me you’ll consider it.”

  Abby was uncertain what to say. She wanted to say no, but was that the right thing? Connor was a good man, and he would make a wonderful husband. She didn’t love him, but was that really the most important thing in a marriage? She’d be a fool to turn him down immediately. So she nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

  He squeezed her hand and grinned. “Thank you. That’s all I can ask for.”

  Knowing he shouldn’t push his luck for more, he picked up the reins and set the horses walking.

  They didn’t speak again until they got to the house. He descended from the carriage, rounded it, and helped her down. He held her an extra moment before releasing her, and the contact was uncomfortable for Abby. Not necessarily unpleasant, but she wondered if Lucas was there, watching their interaction.

  For some reason, it felt wrong to touch Connor any more than necessary.

  She took a step back, smiling broadly to cover her discomfort. “Thank you again for the ride home.”

  “It was my pleasure. And please, take your time considering what I said.”

  “I will. I promise. Thank you again, Connor.”

  He reached out and brushed his thumb over her jaw like he wanted to pull her in for a kiss, but she kept her stance rigid, showing in every way that such contact wasn’t welcome.

  Sensing it, he smiled and nodded at her again, dropping his hand. “Good night.”

  “Good night,” she said as he climbed up into the carriage and rode away.

  She stayed outside for a few moments, watching him drive down the road. The sun lowered over the hills, and while it was warm, a chill washed through her. She scrubbed her arms quickly, hoping to ease it, but she felt unsettled.

  Why had a proposal from a man who’d been courting her for six months make her feel uneasy, unsettled, hollow. She should be overjoyed.

  But instead, she felt like a bag of rocks sat in her stomach.

  A throat cleared behind her, and she spun around, spotting Lucas in
the doorway. She swallowed hard. “How long have you been standing there?”

  “I just opened the door.” He stepped out and closed the door behind him. “Is everything all right?” His tone turned grim. “Did something happen?”

  The urge to tell him about the proposal, to confide in him, was overwhelming. But she didn’t give in to the impulse. As much as she felt a connection with Lucas, Abby didn’t know exactly where they stood. “Everything is fine. I’m just tired,” she said lamely. “It’s been a long day.”

  He took a few more steps toward her but didn’t reach out and touch her. “Do you want to go inside?”

  “No. Not yet.” She heaved a heavy breath. “Physically I’m tired, but my mind is racing.”

  “How about a walk?”

  She glanced up at the sky. “It’ll be dark soon.”

  He reached forward to take her hand, but gave her sufficient time to reject the gesture. “We’ll stay close to the house.”

  No matter how tired she was, the thought of having Lucas to herself, was too much to resist. She squeezed his hand. “All right.”

  He gave her a big smile, and it filled her with warmth. How did he affect her like that? Just being near him, being with him, filled her with longing, with butterflies, and a myriad of other sensations. She was attracted to him, but it was more than that. A part of her still loved him, no matter what had happened, no matter how long it had been.

  The real question was did she love the Lucas from back then—the memories—or did she love him now?

  If only it were that easy. The past and the present blurred, and it was impossible to separate them.

  He placed her hand on his arm, tucking her in next to him. “Are you warm enough?”

  “Yes.” She tilted her face up to the sky and took a deep breath. “We’ll blink, and there’ll be piles of snow everywhere. I want to enjoy this weather as long as possible.”

  “Anything you want.”

  Her heart trembled. Anything you want. He offered it just as he had in the past. He used to say he would give her anything she wanted, that he would fill her life with happiness, that she’d want for nothing.

  And then he’d left.

  “What is it?” he asked, and she realized she’d stiffened up.

  When she didn’t respond right away, he stopped, gently turning her toward him. He placed both his hands along her jaw, tilting her face up, so he could look at her. The last light of day reflected in his eyes, and she felt the ache spread.

  “This is hard,” she whispered.

  “What is?”

  “This. Us.” She tapped her finger against his chest, then hers. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “What do you want to do?”

  If only it were that easy. She shook her head slowly. “I don’t want to get hurt.”

  “I’ll do everything in my power to keep that from happening. You can trust me.”

  His words were said easily, and she knew he meant them. At least for now. But what would happen in the future? What would happen tomorrow, next week, next month, or two years from now? That’s what she was worried about. That’s what concerned her. When Lucas’ job was finished here, what then? Would he go back to the East? “I want to trust you.” She finally said what was in her heart. “But I’m afraid.”

  He nodded slowly, understanding. “I know. And it’s going to take time. I broke your trust, and that’s a hard thing to come back from. But as each day passes, as you see how things are now, it will slowly come back.” He placed a soft kiss against her lips, and she shivered at the contact.

  “I feel so confused.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to reassure you?”

  She thought it over seriously. What more could he do? He was attentive, kind, was clearly expressing what he wanted. But none of those things healed old wounds. “Keep doing what you’re doing. It’ll just take me some time.”

  They finished their walk back in silence, thoughts churning through her mind.

  When they returned to the house, he stopped before opening the door. She looked at him expectantly, but he remained silent, looking contemplative.

  Finally, he met her gaze. “I know you’re worried, and you have every right to be. I know I broke your trust, and I’m sorry. If I need to, I’ll say that for the rest of my life. I’m sorry for what happened between us.”

  She placed a finger over his lips, feeling the soft skin. “You don’t need to apologize again.”

  With her finger still on his lips, he reached up and wrapped his fingers around her wrist, holding her there. Without saying a word, he moved her arm to the side and slowly pulled her forward until he could wrap his other arm around her waist. It was like they were about to dance a waltz, but they weren’t swaying to music. The only things moving were the trees, dancing in the wind.

  “I don’t want to pressure you. I want to give you all the time in the world to figure out how you feel about me and what you want out of life. But there’s something I need to tell you.”

  Her heart beat heavily in her chest. “What?”

  He pulled her in closer, resting his forehead against hers. “I want to be with you. I want everyone to know we’re together, that we care for one another. I don’t want you to see other men, to be courted by anyone but me. I want the chance to win you over, to gain that trust back. I left because I wasn’t worthy of you, at least, I didn’t feel I was. But that was about our stations, about money, about supporting you. I’ve always been your equal in heart. And seeing you again, being with you, has shown me that again.”

  She reeled, and before she could respond, he shook his head, silencing her. “I want you with me, Abby. But this time, it doesn’t matter what I want. It matters what you want, what you need. Whatever you desire, I’ll do it. Whether that’s to be with you and never leave your side…or to leave. This choice is yours. But if you’re not ready, if you need more time, you have it.”

  She didn’t know what to say, how to respond. Her initial reaction was to wrap her arms around his neck, kiss him, and tell him she loved him and never wanted to part from him. But she wasn’t certain. Were these feelings real? She still didn’t know. And without knowing, she couldn’t say those things—it wouldn’t be fair, to either of them.

  As silence remained, he squeezed her tightly. “You don’t need to answer now.”

  “Thank you. I’m just not ready.”

  He pulled back from her, looking her in the eye, and nodded. “I understand. This isn’t an ultimatum. I’m not leaving anytime soon. I don’t want to pressure you for anything you’re not ready to give. I just want you to know how I feel.” His eyes settled on her lips. “May I kiss you?”

  Her heart melted at the request, and everything in her ached for his touch. “Yes. Yes, please.” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders to pull him close.

  Slowly, almost achingly, he lowered his lips to hers. The first brush sent shockwaves through her, tingling down to her fingertips, her toes, and back up. Her heart fluttered like crazy, the feeling echoing in her stomach. She was a mess, a glorious, nerve-filled mess. And she’d never felt like this with anyone. That had to mean something.

  She was still trying to figure out what it all meant when he pulled away, placing one last kiss on her lips before letting go. “I’ll see you soon.”

  “All right. Goodnight.”

  As he walked away, he glanced over his shoulder, sending her another smile. He didn’t push her for commitments, didn’t pressure her. Instead, he left it completely in her hands.

  She still wasn’t sure if she loved the Lucas from then or now. What she did know was that the present Lucas was dangerous to her heart.

  Chapter 14

  Before Lucas mounted his horse, Abby stepped inside, closed the door, and leaned against it. She didn’t want to watch him ride away. She was worried she might call him back and promise things she wasn’t ready for.

  How had this happened? Wasn’t it just a
week ago they’d decided to be friends? Things had gotten serious so quickly, it boggled the mind.

  She was wrung out, exhausted. Especially after her drive home with Connor and then her time with Lucas. She scrubbed a hand over her face. She still had no idea what to do.

  She couldn’t give Lucas the exclusivity he wanted. She couldn’t give up her life, everything she’d built, now that he wanted a life with her. Doing so would be foolish, and she’d made an effort over the years to never be foolish again.

  And now Connor had proposed. She closed her eyes and whimpered.

  “Is everything all right?” Lily’s voice was wry with amusement.

  Abby opened her eyes and grimaced. “I’m not sure, but I hope it will be. Someday.”

  Lily turned a bit more serious. “The others and I would like to talk to you.”

  Abby’s stomach dropped. “That doesn’t sound good.”

  “It isn’t bad.”

  Abby sensed Lily’s hedging. “But?”

  “Hannah saw you outside with Lucas.” Lily sent her a sympathetic smile. “Suffice it to say, everyone knows there’s something between you two.”

  Abby groaned.

  Lily took a step forward. “Look, I know it’s none of our business. And really, you don’t need to tell us anything you don’t want to. I think everyone is just concerned.” She shrugged, and a small smile quirked her lips. “And maybe we just want some juicy gossip.”

  Abby laughed and pushed herself away from the door. “Well then, I might as well tell you guys everything.”

  “You did say it was a long story. We have the whole night ahead of us.”

  “That’s true.” Her voice echoed her reluctance.

  Lily nodded toward the back of the house, where the kitchen was. “Come on. Charlotte even has a cake for us.”

  “I guess that makes it all better,” she grumbled.

  As they walked toward the kitchen, Abby wanted to turn and run away. How was she supposed to talk about what had happened or how she felt, when she had no idea about either? It was like her life was a runaway horse and she was standing on the sidelines, watching it bolt toward the hills. She wasn’t in charge. She wasn’t in control. How was she supposed to make sense of any of this?